WeRblessed:
While I am not in support of people having more children than they can cater for, I don't see any reason for this tread. Please help the poor, hungry and needy when you can. I believe that if you happens to be in such situation you wouldn't want someone helping you out and then turn around and mock your predicaments. Since you came to social media to blow your trumpet on how you supposedly helped and feed this guy's children, I believe you will get the social media's reward . May God forgive you!

Don't help anyone that has more than 2 children except you know he used to be a millionaire and lost everything.

That's only possible in southern part of Nigeria, in the north they will read religious meanings into it even say they want the reduce the population of the north for political purposes

Your home is incomplete without good quality furniture thats why we are here for you

tunjilee003:
black man and superstition, me and my co-workers discussed about this during the afternoon, the guy is in his early thirty and un married, he feels when he marriage will bring him good fortune....

Meaning he's not idle, then there is not much to worry about if he choses to marry. Provided he gets someone who is also actively engaged doing something meaningful to support the home then they are good to go.

Asin eh,it just pisses me off,you know you can't cater very well for your family yet you would be giving birth to kids... bringing kids to suffer, it's really appalling,govt should try and regulate this issue pls cause it's really an eyesore seeing young kids out on the streets begging for alms when all this could have been avoided if the parents were wise enough

My wish has always been to have just two kids. Be it male,female or mixed.

Humans abound while resources are scarce. You need a whole lot of scarce resources to comfortably carter for an individual from birth to adulthood and even beyond. When you have a lot of people to carter, where will the resources come from?

Depopulation and birth regulations will help fix Africa and order third countries.

Hnmmmn if I hear that again.ehn.

LastProphet:
Africans are taught at home, in church and mosque that they were born in order to give birth to more people. So don't be surprised even a dying African must still marry and born because that is our destiny. We can't solve any major problem of the world like finding cure for corona, inventing any technology etc, because we are focused on just giving birth to beautiful kids. If you graduate from university as a chemical engr here, even your parents will not ask you how many chemicals you have engineered after graduation, the only thing they will ask you is when you will marry. The same crap preached in churches, same crap in nollywood movies, so my brother don't be surprised to find failures around everywhere who have only 1 single contribution to humanity which is child bearing

Hmmm, you are talking in the wisdom . Thumbs up bro. That contribution part got me. To be candid , what's my contribution to humanity . I need to think too and take neccesary steps and action. No jokes to be candid

EdoFirstBorn:


This one good I have an idiot friend like this who lost his job the fool just gave birth to his sixth child and still.womanizes

We his friends all had a secret.meeting and agreed that henceforth no one should pick osas calls talkless of giving him money

Una head correct well well!

6th child?

Baaaastard!

Seerade029:
I have nothing to say than.

all fingers ain't equal.
if everyone is rich, there will be hyper inflation.


modified
I didn't even read your post before, but after reading it.
Tell them man to learn a skill. (Plumber, furniture, tailoring, mechanic, welder, barber etc).
The truth is there is job in Nigeria but, we humans ain't satisfied we want to go higher (it's good though, but start from somewhere)

and if you can help him with #50,000 - #100,000 cash to start business, do so.
if you can't, ignore.

I disagree. Before he met the man, many would have advised him such. Its simple. Have frank talk with the guy that he can't nor you can continue like this. He had better get a job or he learn a trade. Don't commit any money till you see and is convinced that he is making an honest effort.

Things are hard but people use that as an excuse to get lazy. Before you know it, after giving him such amounts, he thinks you in excess and then begin to grow more sinister plans.

After frank talks and still observe its just an habit to be pushing his worries on other, I recommend you begin to keep your distance.

Now, its not I don't encourage helping others cos I really do but never forget to be as wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. Humans can be very wicked. Give help but give it wisely

Deathissweet:
I understand that brokenness doesn’t have respect for anybody, meanwhile that is why you need to plan well before getting married or giving birth.

I shouldn’t be posting this but since I am not including anybody’s name, I don’t think I am doing something wrong.

I relocated to a new state few months ago so I have decided to make friends with matured foks because most guys of my age (30yrs ) here are yahoo boys. I am not judging anyone but at least I shouldn’t be painted bad in a new town.

There’s this guy I gave a ride in my estate last 2 month. He’s married with 3 kids. Ever since I gave him a ride. He has been disturbing me with calls to ask for money to the extend that any time I give him a ride and he sees money in my car. He will take it then ask for permission, every time we see. He always complain bitterly as if I don’t have my own problems too.

A lot of cases like that. The one he did last really pained me cox I gave him all my last card. He called me early in the morning that he wanted to see me. I was in the bathroom when he knocked. He brought in 2 of his kids early Monday momo, he started with his complains as usual and said there’s nothing for them to eat this morning that I should give him anything. I gave him all the cash I had and foods stuffs then he left.

A lot of cases like that from different people but that is not the point ...the point is inside this same hardship and all. This guy gave birth to his 3rd born. Even me that has a business, cars and my own house. I haven’t even reason giving birth yet.

Please I want to know what exactly motivate this people to start bringing up innocent children to come and suffer. I think this is what the government should regulate (giving birth ) not social media.

advise him sometimes unexpected happened, he might not plan it that way. But you with all the neccesity, when are you going to marry or you want to be fifty and your kids will still be in pry 5

humilitypays:
Take it from me, op is an Igbo guy. Only Igbo guys reason soundly like this and that is why generational poverty is gradually reducing in Igbo land. It still exist but the current generation of Igbo guys are wiser and working hard to end that transfer of poverty from generation to generation, that is why typical Igbo guy marries late.



Born 1 child, they won't listen.


Nigerians really need a tough government to reset their brains.


You are jobless no business no handwork, no income and you went and impregnated a girl and some still go ahead and marry under such hungry situation.



If you want to enjoy this world, if you want to prosper here on earth and live a good life and still make heaven as a Christian, don't just embrace the person of Jesus, also embrace the life of Jesus.


The person of Jesus teaches you to live a Holy and righteous life, and the life principle of Jesus teaches you hardwork, how to create wealth from nothing and how to grow financially and also obey the authorities.



But many Christians only embrace the person of Jesus, they live holy, they pray, fast but they are poor, why They didn't embrace the principle of Jesus, which bothers around work, work, work.


Living holy and being righteous alone will never make you successful in life. Lazarus was a righteous man but he was poor. You can be righteous and poor, why If you fail to apply the principles of money and wealth creation.

Prayer without work is dead, no result.

Work and pray. Pray for God to bless the works of your hands, what does that mean You must have a work for God to bless you. You must sow a seed to reap a harvest. You dont have work, no business no hand work, but you spend your whole time praying and shouting i receive and hoping to jam riches, you are deceiving yourself. Pray for God to give you wisdom to identify the right business idea to invest in and the right financial decision to take.


As you pray also give.....thank God for the little He has done and then help others and watch your doors swing wide open.



Don't marry until you have stabilised your finances.


God created Adam first, before He created Eve, He created all the living creatures and garden where Adam would worlk. And yet He didn't create Eve the same day with Adam. He made sure Adam has mastered how to feed himself comfortably and noticed that Adam's major problem then was loneliness and someone to help him meet some household needs, He then created Eve for him.


But today, many guys can't afford to feed, but they want to marry. Their Pastor tell them it is God's will, how

But OP wasn't talking about Christian's, and are they even that guilty of this? I think you should know that Pastors don't force anyone into marriage who is unwilling to do so. Sometimes you see a lot of people who have done all they could to be comfortable before marrying but aren't just having it easy, and the lady too is saying let's go ahead time is not on our side, I believe it will turn out well, what do you want the pastor to do in such situation? Refuse their request and allow them burn with lust or get into fornication. If you are ever in that position at anytime that's when you'll know it's not an easy thing to be a pastor.

Eluala:


They are simply irresponsible and then they have people like you, who they can emotionally blackmail and get you to be funding their idiotic habits. Say no to such nonsense. Stop giving money to such laggards and be financially responsible yourself, plan for your own future and the future of your own family. The idiot sees you and he thinks he has hit a gold mine. You have all these good life and yet you are single so he is helping you put your money to use in financing his habits.

Be careful with such people, he could get desperate for your money and arrange for your assassination or kidnap, just to get a bigger share of it. Stop allowing him into your house or your car and don't ever bring him close enough to know about your financial dealings. A word is enough for the wise.

It is godly and good to be kind and benevolent but not to be unwise and naïve. Stop indulging him today, he is already getting entitled to your funds.

Your head correct.

I work to take care of my needs and plan for my future. Not to help some other fooool raise the kids he had when he knew he could not take care of them.

Anyone living in Lagos that does not earn more than N700K a month should not have more than 2 kids except the second birth was accidentally twins or the first was triplets.

Tony142:





read all the comment on this thread and u will see where the Ops said he womanize

Boss,I think you should swallow your pride and apologise for the insult to him.He was not aware that the man in question is a womanizer.Let be civil in our speeches.

I agree with this post 100%. Most Nigerians even psychologically think having kids automatically makes them entitled to alms... They are begging, but they are not begging.
There is this warped mentality about producing kids in this country. When you see them begging (and feeling entitled), you would think kids are some form of inevitable occurrence like health conditions or something that one has no control over.
I long stopped having any form of sympathy for anyone begging in the name of having kids. I have functional reproductive organs like you, but I'm not having kids I can't cater for just for the bragging rights of having kids.

Bola146:
I understand how you feel, he might be right that he is broke. He would have asked for a better job offer from you. Sit him down and ask what exactly is their problem, you might not give them only money, your advice would go a long way.

Woman, stop defending rubbish, too many children no good. 3 already many. if you think you can take care of them, you are simply fooling yourself.

Learning trade (kapenta, birikila, weda, Barbar etc) not a solution for those with many children. many will not make enough money to take care of them.

Even if you are a medical doctor, you can take care of 3 children easily without stealing drugs to sell

Seerade029:
I have nothing to say than.

all fingers ain't equal.
if everyone is rich, there will be hyper inflation.


modified
I didn't even read your post before, but after reading it.
Tell them man to learn a skill. (Plumber, furniture, tailoring, mechanic, welder, barber etc).
The truth is there is job in Nigeria but, we humans ain't satisfied we want to go higher (it's good though, but start from somewhere)

and if you can help him with #50,000 - #100,000 cash to start business, do so.
if you can't, ignore.

You get wisdom na, you sabi talk na. Mr. Solomon

Bola146:


It's the woman that will use her senses, I know that she might be jobless why not use family planning . But like seriously he is womanizing Some men are just crazy ( they sabi spend money but their hands are lazy They are plenty on nairaland, tell him to come and join his gigolo people here )

Instead of you to stay on the topic you had to drag NL guys into it. Getting excited like a circuit connected in series.

The only time Nigerian men remember that marriage requires planning and shouldn’t be rushed into is when a man is under pressure. When a man is being drained financially in marriage, which also happens to singles anyway.

Put that aside and they won’t let single ladies rest. Screaming evening newspaper like hungry goats, as if everyone must marry and have kids.

No pity from here. I don’t give them, one of their bros should help them out.

wonder233:
I agree with this post 100%. Most Nigerians even psychologically think having kids automatically makes them entitled to alms... They are begging, but they are not begging.
There is this warped mentality about producing kids in this country. When you see them begging (and feeling entitled), you would think kids are some form of inevitable occurrence like health conditions or something that one has no control over.
I long stopped having any form of sympathy for anyone begging in the name of having kids. I have functional reproductive organs like you, but I'm not having kids I can't cater for just for the bragging rights of having kids.

Your head correct!

Deathissweet:
I understand that brokenness doesn’t have respect for anybody, meanwhile that is why you need to plan well before getting married or giving birth.

I shouldn’t be posting this but since I am not including anybody’s name, I don’t think I am doing something wrong.

I relocated to a new state few months ago so I have decided to make friends with matured foks because most guys of my age (30yrs ) here are yahoo boys. I am not judging anyone but at least I shouldn’t be painted bad in a new town.

There’s this guy I gave a ride in my estate last 2 month. He’s married with 3 kids. Ever since I gave him a ride. He has been disturbing me with calls to ask for money to the extend that any time I give him a ride and he sees money in my car. He will take it then ask for permission, every time we see. He always complain bitterly as if I don’t have my own problems too.

A lot of cases like that. The one he did last really pained me cox I gave him all my last card. He called me early in the morning that he wanted to see me. I was in the bathroom when he knocked. He brought in 2 of his kids early Monday momo, he started with his complains as usual and said there’s nothing for them to eat this morning that I should give him anything. I gave him all the cash I had and foods stuffs then he left.

A lot of cases like that from different people but that is not the point ...the point is inside this same hardship and all. This guy gave birth to his 3rd born. Even me that has a business, cars and my own house. I haven’t even reason giving birth yet.

Please I want to know what exactly motivate this people to start bringing up innocent children to come and suffer. I think this is what the government should regulate (giving birth ) not social media.

in times like this, what do personally is to thank God for giving something to give to others.

Bringing the children to your house is a form of emotional blackmail. In hindsight, you should just go into your house and get some of your raw food e.g. 1 cup of rice and give it to him.

When you do that, he wont be able to say no to it.

Trust me, he used those kids to collect money from you. Those kids are not actually hungry. The money won't even go into feeding the kids.


There is a significant number of Nigerians that will "begi begi" just to collect money from you. THey believe they are entitled to your money and they even castigate you when you don't share it like you are doing wrong.

It's the brainwashing through cultural and religious lenses. Don't fall for it. Learn to tell people you are broke. and stick with it.

zed7:
Life is depressing. Even when you want to help, how many can you help? How many can you set up financially?
People get married hoping that 'marriage will bring blessings '. I don't know where that idea came from.
Help when convenient and refuse when you don't have. You can't kill yourself and we al have our own wahala.

.very crazy idea i tell u

Principle of giving
1, Give Ceasar to what belongs to Ceasar and to God what belong to God
2. Give God your best and your first fruit.
3. When you give to God, give cheerfully with thanks.
4. Give what you have according to your heart and do not give what you do not have.
5. Do not make promises that you cannot keep. If you do not have ,simply say tell them no without giving an explanation.
6. For married folks or guys with family,take care of your family first before taking care of other.
7. If you cannot give your mum 100k whom you love dearly, then do not same for woman except your wife.

Thus should be directed more to the North. A lot has to be done in that region to reduce the population growth of this country,our population is increasing while growth is negative.

To me, I think the government has to invest more into education and human development(especially in the Northern part) .Those two things are critical in the individual aspect of population reduction.

OP. Do yourself a favor, go read a book on population control throughout the ages, and you will see how educated you will become.

Deathissweet:
I understand that brokenness doesn’t have respect for anybody, meanwhile that is why you need to plan well before getting married or giving birth.

I shouldn’t be posting this but since I am not including anybody’s name, I don’t think I am doing something wrong.

I relocated to a new state few months ago so I have decided to make friends with matured foks because most guys of my age (30yrs ) here are yahoo boys. I am not judging anyone but at least I shouldn’t be painted bad in a new town.

There’s this guy I gave a ride in my estate last 2 month. He’s married with 3 kids. Ever since I gave him a ride. He has been disturbing me with calls to ask for money to the extend that any time I give him a ride and he sees money in my car. He will take it then ask for permission, every time we see. He always complain bitterly as if I don’t have my own problems too.

A lot of cases like that. The one he did last really pained me cox I gave him all my last card. He called me early in the morning that he wanted to see me. I was in the bathroom when he knocked. He brought in 2 of his kids early Monday momo, he started with his complains as usual and said there’s nothing for them to eat this morning that I should give him anything. I gave him all the cash I had and foods stuffs then he left.

A lot of cases like that from different people but that is not the point ...the point is inside this same hardship and all. This guy gave birth to his 3rd born. Even me that has a business, cars and my own house. I haven’t even reason giving birth yet.

Please I want to know what exactly motivate this people to start bringing up innocent children to come and suffer. I think this is what the government should regulate (giving birth ) not social media.

You dey kind o.

If na me, I no go even waste any time to let am know say me I get enough financial wahala myself.

People just how to use other people once you show them say you are considerate.

I will advise you to man up and get the courage to tell him NO because before you know it, you don get another extended family be dat o.

Nonsense.

A lot of Nigerians are foo.lishly stubborn . When you give them very important advise like this, they'll always find senseless points to defend their foolish.ness.

You earn less than 100k that is not even enough for you alone to survive properly on. You live alone and manage all your life because of the small money your are earning, heck! You can't even by some certain food you wish to eat because you have to save and deny yourself so much, yet you will foo.lishly go and marry and want to have kids with the hope that things will get better and you will manage. If what you earn is not enough for you to spend, how can it be enough for 2, let alone 3. No be by force to marry and if you insist then marry a partner who is very okay financially so you don't continue to live a sad, dejected and frustrated life. The way some id.iots use frustration to beat their little children ehn, fear go catch you. You see a woman carrying a baby on her back and dragging other two little children at the bustop struggling to get bus. Which kind self inflicted suffer head be that.

https://www.nairaland.com/3450586/poor-un-intelligent-people-should-not

Four years ago, I created a similar thread above.

Recently, I also did another one but under a different topic:
https://www.nairaland.com/6035550/nigerians-poverty-certain-acts-perpetuate

---

Unfortunately, as it's in Nigeria, the government cannot dictate how many children people should procreate (Nigeria is largely a lawless place, different cultures and the popularity of religion). The only thing that can reduce child birth is consistent and high economic growth which will create lots of jobs. Other than extremely religious persons, only an indolent person stays to willingly populate everywhere. Consistent economic growth did it in Brazil, Bangaldesh, Malaysia, Vietnam etc. Sub-Saharan Africa needs same.

Lastly, offer your neighbour the option of sponsoring a vasectomy operation. If he refuses, stop giving him money even if he wants to die.

This mans case is even small sef,
Go to the core north and see a 35-45 years unemployed ,illiterate, and no meaningful means of livelihood with 15-27 children
Why do we have almajiri?, book haram and bandits
I remember one sani with 27 children from 4 wives. He will always quote what Qur'an said " marry and born as many as you can so that I will be proud of you on judgment day....

Womanizer:


It has a lot to so with our African mentality that you can transfer your problems to friends or relatives who you perceive as being better off financially

Bro.... you are sooo on point with this..... and from the other angle we must help those who ask... regardless of how or why or even if they really need help.

@ Op..... just meditate on the above comment.... then look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are supporting it or trying to change his ways or situation. The fact that you know he is a womanizer should tell you that he is using his kids to suppport his lifestyle. Bear with me..... I'm out of sugar coating .... bro..... as a guy... why would you allow another guy to control you as if you're a babe? ... as in the guy taking your money from your car in your presence?... seems to me at this point you can't tell him no period. You can take the horse to the water but you can't make him drink..... that guy has no intentions of earning a living. Man up.... cut all ties.

nairaland please I need a job help me