Martinez39s:
That's females for you. Their dating/relationship game doesn't involve morality, rationality, love and remorse, instead it involves extreme selfishness, remorseless and brutal manipulations, their huge and childish egos, and perpetual justifications (rational or irrational, as long as it is what she wants to believe).

Immediately I meet a lady, I knw stuff she made of, just five mins talks is enough.

The selfish and manipulative among them, I love them die.

I will up my game, she must fall for my superior manipulation.

But for few that good, I will do my best.

thinkmoney:

[s]Mo una try to dey read to understand. With an open mind. The summary of his piece is that one should examine and make sure his motives of doing anything isn't selfish. And that one shouldn't blackmail anybody into love.
If una dey find comprehension difficult, una fit maybe reroll in jss 3. It's not bad to start again[/s]

it is you that have comprehension issue. There are help reserved for those that are part of your life which includes training a woman. The reason any man will train a woman is simply because she is your woman. What is the selfishness there?

If you don't want to marry a man,don't accept his proposal don't accept his proposal with selfish and ulterior motives of using him and at the end you shifted from the relationship after achieving goal. Who is selfish here, the man who trained you,or you who got trained?

Have you seen any man who will just go and start training a stranger of a woman in school if they aren't in any serious relationship? He trained you simply because you are his woman, what is selfish there. But if he refuses to train her,many of you will call him wicked,or call his love fake.Ewu.

ojuu4u:
Immediately I meet a lady, I knw stuff she made of, just five mins talks is enough.

The selfish and manipulative among them, I love them die.

I will up my game, she must fall for my superior manipulation.

But for few that good, I will do my best.

Why are you telling me this?

.....Don't you ever train a lady who is not your blood relation in school.

Una mumu never do? Chai.

Pierocash:
it is you that have comprehension issue. There are help reserved for those that are part of your life which includes training a woman. The reason any man will train a woman is simply because she is your woman. What is the selfishness there?

If you don't want to marry a man,don't accept his proposal don't accept his proposal with selfish and ulterior motives of using him and at the end you shifted from the relationship after achieving goal. Who is selfish here, the man who trained you,or you who got trained?

Have you seen any man who will just go and start training a stranger of a woman in school if they aren't in any serious relationship? He trained you simply because you are his woman, what is selfish there. But if he refuses to train her,many of you will call him wicked,or call his love fake.Ewu.

.....Very correct

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

The subject of marriage is separate from that of love.

Marriage is always a contract for mutual gains from each other. It is constant for the lifetime of the contract. The parties may wish to modify it at any time. You need voluntary action to enter into marriage.

Love is a emotional power that never remains contact, it is dynamic and always in movement. The act of love is involuntary, it can overpower you and compel you to surrender your will and spirit to its force.

Sexual intimacy is voluntary act that binds and solidifies a contractual marriage, or a loving encounter, or both.

There is nothing wrong in the man asking for marriage as an exchange of contract to fund a girl's education, or her material needs.

There have been stories of girls who marry into wealth to help their parents survival or rescue them from hardship and sickness.

It is not immoral for a girl that chooses that path for herself, nor for the man that seeks a girl for such beneficial exchange.

To draw your imagination into how this works, certain societies have what is called temporary marriage arrangement for long term visitors to their society.

They have men and women available for convenient contracts of intimacy and matrimony and at end of term you both amicably terminate the contract.

Lets keep things easy and in perspective. Dont make things hard for people, no pressure.

Pierocash:
it is you that have comprehension issue. There are help reserved for those that are part of your life which includes training a woman. The reason any man will train a woman is simply because she is your woman. What is the selfishness there?

If you don't want to marry a man,don't accept his proposal don't accept his proposal with selfish and ulterior motives of using him and at the end you shifted from the relationship after achieving goal. Who is selfish here, the man who trained you,or you who got trained?

Have you seen any man who will just go and start training a stranger of a woman in school if they aren't in any serious relationship? He trained you simply because you are his woman, what is selfish there. But if he refuses to train her,many of you will call him wicked,or call his love fake.Ewu.

You obviously haven't seen many well-to-do good people.
Besides, I have only pointed out that you lack capability to comprehend what that writer was saying. He was giving advice against selfishness.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover.

Fahdiga:
Only fools does that with the intention of marrying the girl. if you want to help someone do it without expecting anything in return

I think you people are confusing yourselves on the issue. What comes first, love or sponsorship? Love of course. He sponsor her because of the love he has for her, not that he wants to marry her because he sponsored her education. If he wasn't in love with her in the first place, he wouldn't have sponsored her education to begin with. Or, did the man say that he's doing charity work from the beginning?

IamPlato:
Only Fools Do That.

An Educated Man Will Easily Marry An Uneducated Woman but An Educated Woman Will Never Marry An Uneducated Man Because once You Give A Woman Power Above Yours she Will Over Power You and Seek powerful Men Because She Automatically Feels She Is Above You.


Its Like Give A Woman Wings When You Have None, she Will Fly Away Leaving You On The Ground. Dont Make That Mistake

Yes sir. I hear.

I will rather sponsor my two dog's

Jesus! what did i just read?

For those comparing agape love with aeros love, they are different. God's love shown to people is not selfish. I agree, but, for two to come together which is aeros kind of love is sacrifices we must pay in human nature.

As a lady, if you are not going to be with the guy, don't collect beyond what can stress the guy to aquire for you. Because, you will pay someday and somehow.

For the guys, please let your relationship be built on love and trust first of all before going beyond your limit to assist. I know a lot of ladies will say, you are stingy or... Please guys don't let them deceive you it is a way to smoke you dry rather than them helping you to grow

authority2006:



I think you people confusing yourselves on the issue. What comes first, love or sponsorship? Love of course. He sponsor her because of the love he has for her, not that he wants to marry her because he is sponsored her education. If he wasn't in love with her in the first place, he wouldn't have sponsored her education to begin with. Or, did the man say that he's doing charity work from the beginning?

If you claim he is sponsoring her because he love her, then what have you done for him too to show you love him. Remember sex is not love[left][/left]

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

Even your parents that sent you to school did it as investment. They are indirectly investing in their future and directly in yours. If they knew a child would waste their money by not reciprocating, they won't bother sending him to school. How much more a man that is not your blood.

Can a lady train a man (a stranger) in school without expecting anything in return? Can you advise your father or brother to train a random lady in school without intension of marrying her? What you are doing is encouraging romance scam/love scam. You are worse than yahoo boys.

Such ladies should be arrested for fraud.

CSTRR:

True.

God gives us life and expects us to Give him our lives in return.

If I use my hard earned resources to better a girl's future and she gives that future to another man, I won't take it lightly.

She is going to pay me back every kobo plus inflation.

seanwilliam:
I Dey try keep my cool for the op write up ,, because if I talk wetin Dey my mind to her this morning,they might ban me.. if you see the rage in me reading that post ehn

[size=8pt][/size]

[quote author=cooooooks post=97119915]This one has chopped someone's money with a cake promise of marriage and is coming here to bleat.

Guys, never expect anything from people without prior honest discussion.

Honest discussion my foot,
Juju discussion joor.
If she betray me, she dies.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

This is about who unbalanced investment in relationships. One side starts to over play their advantage or misbehave.

after education she japa

jimmychang:


What the hell did I just read....... ....She is not a flower .How can you love someone without wanting the person

What you just wrote is not pragmatic

.dont mind her,its only simps that pay attention to such trashy writeups

nautybride:
I don't advise such as a woman. Be sure she gives birth to two or three and marry her before investing.
We can easily be carried away emotionally.

See for saying d truth,God will forever bless u,ur future hubby ad ur kids

So if you love a woman you can't help help that's what it means...

Pierocash:
In other words what this implies is that you shouldnt help the one you love to attain her dreams by educating her?.

So it is now a crime to try to better her life,instead marry her as an illiterate and both of you should die as illiterates.

I think I agree with you at the bolded.

knightphoenix:
So if you love a woman you can't help help that's what it means...

that is what the mumu op means.

tobechi74:


Exactly. It becomes a transaction. It is no longer generosity, or kindness or true love. There is nothing wrong in either but we should not confuse the two.
Prostitutes openly discuss their terms before hand.
But in relationship of this days, we make so many assumption under the disguise of love.
Relationship of today is ls domestic partnership. You fulfil my want , I fulfill yours.

The girl has gotten what she wanted. She leaves and society calls her an ingrate .

God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.

Relationshipe of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Relationship is disguiseded prostitution. Our goal is the benefit and not the individual yet we deny it.The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/12/16/distorted-perception-of-love/

But can i ask you a question? Were they not dating because he thought it wise to help her academically because he saw something great in her?

It is stupid to make a big investment on a woman you're yet to marry!

We men commenting here that the poster's ideology is very poor should think or see it the other way round, I put to them nailing the poster that they will never take it lightly when they are used by this set of people. emerging you spending a whole lot of money on a girl hoping to have her as your partner tommorow and she comes after graduation that you are no longer good for her but you were good when she was gulping Dow your wads, wicked set of people. thinking it the other way round, how can a guy see a girl, liked her and decides to sponsor her through school without having any intention of coming closer to her, is he a father Christmas? truth must be told, e dey pain

Omokowa:


If you claim he is sponsoring her because he love her, then what have you done for him too to show you love him. Remember sex is not love

I'm not sure you understand my post before you quoted me

Martinez39s:
Tobechi, stop all these nonsense. Just tell Ikechukwu, the uneducated and struggling keke driver that sponsored you in university, that you are no longer interested now that you have graduated and have probably seen a better man; there is no need to shalaye. You can now go and sleep.
.
.
.

Someone's boyfriend is about to take the red pill the hard way.

I swear down.

Nigga about to be shocked as F


@op never give excuses for agreeing to a contract. If they say marry me I'll train you and you decide to deceive the guy to be trained. When he comes for your head dont complain oh.

I honestly dont know what is wrong with some of you.

mrdharkchild:
RUBBISH!!
LUBBISH(IN ANAMBRA ACCENT)

Imagine that we turn this issue to a legal issue, I agree to sponsor your education, I provide legal binding paper from my lawyer(TandC) in the presence of witnesses.

By time awareness like these r made, lawyers will make a lot of money from it, and this RUBBISH the OP just wrote will stop

Why pay a lawyer.? Why delay the wedding?

Just marry her, let her drop one and start school.


By year 3 drop second one.

No wahala for that matter.

Some people are very greedy. That investment is too much of a burden and power for both parties.

pocohantas:
If my parents didn’t have the funds to train me in school, I for go learn hairdressing.

Education is a lifetime investment. Anyone who gives you that has given you a lot. That’s too much power in the hands of a Nigerian man that isn’t ones father. Me no fit guarantee you say I go marry you and I no go like make you come dey cry “after all I did for her”, e no dey hard una.

No train me abeg. Go train your mama...

Education, education, education. Education is bullshit. There are more educated people suffering than illiterates who didn't go to school. Education is stupidity and foolishness cos you think getting a bullshit papers makes you a superman when in reality you are less than a rat

jimmychang:


What the hell did I just read....... ....She is not a flower .How can you love someone without wanting the person

What you just wrote is not pragmatic

The more u read these trash u get yourself confused. In reality someone don't invest in business if he can't gain from it. Even your biological parent can't invest in you if they think you'll be of no use. Idealism van make some people loose their sanity.