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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong (63345 Views)
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Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 12:32pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:so wen u don't relocate with ur family that means u will just be seeing ur homebased wife just at Christmas and easter |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by wildikeman(m): 12:36pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
[ In summary, When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality. ...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real. [/quote] You are very right. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Hassanmaye(m): 12:36pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
bigpicture001:Lol you have hit the nail |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Hassanmaye(m): 12:42pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
ziondaughter247:OK then keep them in Nigeria, allow them to mingle with cultists, SARS, and Boko Haram |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Hassanmaye(m): 12:47pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
nedekid:So you too have swallowed the redpill since you can interpret the words of typical Nigerian girls 1 Like |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 12:48pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
lefulefu: No. You can still invite them over during the school holidays etc; but not to stay permanently. Your wife; being a woman; would want to tell her friends back home that she went to 'rock' as well; though to be honest, the UK is highly overrated as a holiday spot. There's practically nothing interesting to do there; except maybe if you enjoy posing on London's street corners, taking selfies to make your friends back home green with envy. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Hassanmaye(m): 12:54pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
banmee:Another lucky man again who married a Nigerian woman and his at peace, Oga thank God o 1 Like |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 12:54pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
Hassanmaye: They can have dual citizenship by other means; such as your parents having settled status (in the UK); or in some other countries; by birth. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 1:10pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:of course uk is not a holiday resort..ppl go there to work or school not to flex.if u want to flex there is Dubai or italy or d carribean.but the idea of u living and working in the uk while ur wife is living in nigeria there risks to it.it will lead her to d temptation of cheating..except maybe u don't mind though.there lots of ladies with husband's parmanently based overseas with lovers in nigeria and most times I can blame them cos d idea of only seeing ur husband only at Christmas and easter won't be a fun marriage to her. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 1:13pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
banmee:there some overseas based guys who tell a family friend or their parents to look for a wife in the village for them or from a so called good family.they get married to a complete stranger and they expect problem not to occur. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by UndissolvedMeta(m): 1:24pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
Thanks so much for this ,I must tell you the truth nothing scares me like marrying a lady in Nigeria and we get over there and she starts showing some silly character. sweetmelanin: 2 Likes |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 1:26pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
[quote author=Chimaokigwe post=97865197] Na God go punish this useless me. See as I attract curses and eternal disgrace to my family. My entire family dey cry for 1 loaf of bread. Amen |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Johnnyplus01k(m): 2:02pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
Paulcyril19:Why the tears |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Chimaokigwe: 2:08pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
[quote author=Trayceey post=97881820][/quote] Come and collect bread for your mother. Stupid MBA fool. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 2:12pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
lefulefu: You can schedule your time to spare much more than Christmas and Easter; if you are dedicated to seeing your family. Its just that most people don't want to. And if you think that women cheat only for sex, you're mistaken. Women cheat when they start to lose respect for their husbands or when they find a more attractive mate. In that case, they'll cheat even if you are locked up together, waist to waist in the same room 24/7. Temptation is not a prerequisite. A woman whose hypergamous instinct is already satisfied will heap insults on the head of any toaster who dares to come near. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Leshurr(f): 2:30pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1: This shows you don't trust your wife to move her abroad. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 2:37pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:u have a point though but if ur stay in europe is going to permanent and u insist she just remains in nigeria permanently there will be a time she will experience frustration and resentment and thats where her friends will come in.Forget the hefty allowance u might be giving her monthly and weekly cos sometimes money cant buy happiness.Her friends will urge her to have a boyfriend and sooner or later she will give in..except u are overseas for some temporary time be it study or contract or u just have to bring her over.Marriage is living together ooo not isolation.When i was benin some of these guys who just remain overseas their wives had boyfriends keeping them company.That one no be marriage biko.ur child sef will even be more familiar to your wife"s boyfriend than to u cos ur wife"s boyfriend is always around to keep her company while the husband who is overseas comes once in a blue moon.Its better your wife and kids join u over where u living except maybe u staying there temporary or u u married with another wife and kids where u living 5 Likes |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by banmee(m): 3:10pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
okwadatigbogal: Obviously you can't read and comprehend at the same time. You need to learn how to walk and chew gum at the same time. What does a test do? Does it not stress you? And for your info, she is the luckiest woman alive. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by harmony940(m): 4:09pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
[quote author=HisMajesty1 post=97877035]It's not easy anywhere. If marrying back home in Nigeria will guarantee a peaceful life for you and your spouse, why not? I lost interest in aspiring to travel abroad a while ago... Nigeria isn't such a bad place with an above average income and a small, peaceful family... If God bless you well you can take your family for vacation abroad and come back home jejely.[/quote Boss your comment made my day.......I lost interest too,there is money in Nigeria! |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by generationz(f): 4:35pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
MasterRahl:Yeah, but it's not as simple as that. Most people set out to marry people they love and are comfortable with but other aspects of their lives show they are not compatible. Things from family, life choices, changed character etc can destroy a marriage even though they were in love. 1 Like |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 4:52pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
generationz:Whatever the case, I only hope that the many marital problems that exist should end. Many have died or lost huge resources due to this. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by generationz(f): 5:06pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
MasterRahl: Awww, yes, we all wish all the pain and suffering in the world ends but for now we just have to be careful for ourselves. 1 Like |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 5:21pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
lefulefu: Permanent stay? Perish the thought. I never advocate for anyone to seek permanent residency outside the country. What are they looking for? The most you'll need is seed funds for your next investment. Why would I advice others to do what I personally won't? Nigeria is the real land of opportunity, believe it or not. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
Leshurr: Trust? It's not a question of trust. It's a question of safety. In any case, the question is meaningless now that I've relocated back home; and I'm in my motherland to stay, through Coro, poor economy, banditry and all. Qué Sera Sera. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by mich2012: 6:10pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
angelfallz: You have nailed it. These attacks have become popular these days and they are largely being sponsored by Nigerian ladies, both online and offline, who feel men leave them abroad in the cold and go back home to marry. The issue here is character! You can meet a good/bad person abroad and the same goes for back home. I have seen guys that met their wives online and went home to marry and are now living happily abroad. Be it home or abroad, as you rightly-said, shine your eyes well before settling with anyone. A bad person is a bad person anywhere - abroad, heaven or hell, the person will always manifest his/her bad traits. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by mich2012: 6:22pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
somegirl1: Hahaha well, that's for some silly men who want to use women as their investment. I would rather have a happy home than all the money in this world...and I don't even see any money in Nursing to be honest. There are a million and one professions with less stress and demands that you can make more money than Nursing and still have time for yourself and family. For someone like me (and most rational guys), I won't even marry any girl who desperately wants to study this "nursing" of a thing unless by sheer luck or fate, I met her a nurse and/or that was her God-ordained profession and not all these people rushing in for the money not knowing the huge stress and work hours involved. Goodluck to men importing wives to send them to study Nursing as cash cows. Most of them don't live to tell the tales. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by mich2012: 6:25pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
Alexaonfleek: Hahaha people back home think living abroad is the highest achievement in this world. |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Oshokalo: 6:28pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
no mind them if they get there them go turn feminist for ur head,dome even misbehave when them never see airport,how much more when they realise women enjoy upper hand than women |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by mich2012: 6:28pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
Leebeedo: Lovely. There's no manual for it. It all boils down to the persons involved irrespective of where they are based - character, respect, conscience and all. May God continue bless your girl and home. 1 Like |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Oshokalo: 6:29pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
no mind them if they get there them go turn feminist for ur head,dome even misbehave when them never see airport,how much more when they realise women enjoy upper hand than men |
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by mich2012: 6:29pm On Jan 09, 2021 |
stonecoldcafe: I had to emphasize it again lol |
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