As the star shines in cloud streams

So my feelings for you envelops,

As the bird melody rains

So the feelings of my love spreads for you,

As the whirlwind smells fortune

So your perfume fills my nostrils,

As I wish to steal a gaze

My facial mask won't let me

Being swallowed in thoughts,

But choked up with your personality....

Wishing to let you know

But there was a foramen on the pericardium,



As I tried coming to heart

The surface became invisible

Making it a nightmare

Leaving me with a vacuum of......
https://glozima..com/2020/10/the-ecstacy-of-her-nightmare.html

Nice effort, but that "foramen on the pericardium" line? Too technical for a romantic poem. Liable to cause angina in the reader.

And next time, if you want your writing to be professionally critiqued try writing on the Literature section. Ironically, Romancelanders don't appreciate romantic poetry. The Literature section has more deep thinkers and academics...naturally.