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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Her Nightmare (247 Views)
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Her Nightmare by Foodieblog(f): 6:07am On Jan 08, 2021 |
As the star shines in cloud streams So my feelings for you envelops, As the bird melody rains So the feelings of my love spreads for you, As the whirlwind smells fortune So your perfume fills my nostrils, As I wish to steal a gaze My facial mask won't let me Being swallowed in thoughts, But choked up with your personality.... Wishing to let you know But there was a foramen on the pericardium, As I tried coming to heart The surface became invisible Making it a nightmare Leaving me with a vacuum of...... https://glozima..com/2020/10/the-ecstacy-of-her-nightmare.html 1 Like
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Re: Her Nightmare by Yellowblack: 6:34am On Jan 08, 2021 |
You came here to write poem for us... Wtf |
Re: Her Nightmare by Nobody: 6:46am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Nice effort, but that "foramen on the pericardium" line? Too technical for a romantic poem. Liable to cause angina in the reader. ![]() And next time, if you want your writing to be professionally critiqued try writing on the Literature section. Ironically, Romancelanders don't appreciate romantic poetry. The Literature section has more deep thinkers and academics...naturally. 3 Likes 1 Share |
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