Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,208,014 members, 8,001,114 topics. Date: Wednesday, 13 November 2024 at 12:34 AM

Care For A Laugh? - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Care For A Laugh? (1376 Views)

Have A Laugh (photos) / Come Have A Laugh With Me / Have A Laugh Today! (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Care For A Laugh? by Aduks(f): 4:56pm On Jul 02, 2007
This is hilarious!!! !!!!!!!

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in; front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!! !!!!!!!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Care For A Laugh? by Nobody: 6:48pm On Jul 02, 2007
What a pleasant surprise grin
Re: Care For A Laugh? by desorlah(f): 7:01pm On Jul 02, 2007
That was really crazy
Re: Care For A Laugh? by folanusi(m): 10:03pm On Jul 02, 2007
nice one, cant stop laughing grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Care For A Laugh? by rill: 9:36pm On Jul 05, 2007
that is f**cking wacky!!!. my lungs almost came out of ma ass.
Re: Care For A Laugh? by mimiko(f): 11:08am On Jul 06, 2007
wa wa waoh! funny grin grin grin
Re: Care For A Laugh? by dashkk(m): 7:55pm On Jul 09, 2007
Aduks:

This is hilarious!!! !!!!!!!

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in; front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!! !!!!!!!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy


wonuderfullllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Re: Care For A Laugh? by nguage(m): 8:00pm On Jul 09, 2007
it doesn't get funnier than this!!
Re: Care For A Laugh? by Oracle(m): 8:15pm On Jul 09, 2007
I've read this one before, but itz still as funny as ever
Re: Care For A Laugh? by omogenaija(f): 1:08am On Jul 10, 2007
LMAO !!! grin grin
Re: Care For A Laugh? by rasulua(m): 3:22am On Jul 10, 2007
@ aduks
u reli gt me cryn,i cn imagine d scene.
Re: Care For A Laugh? by nike4luv(f): 10:07am On Jun 09, 2008
i heard it before, trust me, its funnier if its been told than written
Re: Care For A Laugh? by folly69(m): 10:41am On Jun 09, 2008
aaaaaah i'll just hang my self LMAO grin grin grin
Re: Care For A Laugh? by clemcykul(f): 5:03pm On Jun 10, 2008
ha ha ha
Re: Care For A Laugh? by Jeovy(m): 6:09pm On Jun 10, 2008
Geezzzzzzzz,thank God I am not one of the guest
Re: Care For A Laugh? by clemcykul(f): 11:45am On Jun 11, 2008
but you happen to be the chairman

(1) (Reply)

The Real Meaning Of Aids / My Son Needs A Wife / Fulani And An Ibo Merchant

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 25
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.