BigDick70inch:
till we hear from him sha.....

Her story doesn't make sense.

In one sentence.

Your ex has lost financial frame which badly bruised his ego to dominate as the man.

Do not get married to him. If you do, you will have a failed marriage and this will affect your mental health.

Ishilove:
Aunty talk true and tell us what really happened because no sane man will just go off on you because you bought a car with his knowledge. You people come online to paint the other person bad in order to reduce the guilt of fücking up.

When you give us the true picture of what happened then I will know what to tell you.

Ishilove, is this you? I kanot-bilivit.

Shortyy:


Quick question, are you among the SMAN?

Wetin concern this matter with SMAN?
Hanty couldn't even tell us her age.
Hanty de feel say because she get money, na she come be the man.

And nope, I'm not a member of sman.
I don't give what I don't have

na waoooo.

@op, both of you have your faults. I believe he is not angry because of your car or success, he is looking for something that he is not seeing or sure of and you're not helping. He wants to settle down but wants to be sure, he needs to know if he can get his peace of mind with you, its not about finance and success and stuffs as people are making it to sound. Your altitude somehow is not showing him that you're the one.

Forget all these insecurity and success stuff and look deeply.

Shortyy:


Ignore that dolt, please. He's just like the said guy, a very poor wretched urchin who's intimidated by a woman's wealth, and expects women to bow and worship him even though he has absolutely nothing to offer.

I really don't care what men think about women. My concern is of women bending with the wind cause a biased man advised her to. She should have backbone sometimes and stick with her decision.

If the situation was reversed, they'd never advise the guy to reach out to the girl. Never. They are always looking for a way to favor their gender even in the midst of glaring misdemeanor.

I can't with men. Honestly.

thebosstrevor1:
Insecured Men can not handle independent women.

[s]He is financially not buoyant so he already feeling threatened.

If you are planning of marrying him, dont do it, you will regret it[/s], his insecurities will make you go mad and might end up making the marriage filled with fights.

You don't want to be with a man that will accuse you of cheating, that will monitor your movements and accuse you of everything bad all because you have more money than him.

If he doesn't pick his call, ex him, go find for your levels.

How can she plan to marry him when he has not proposed? You get sense so?

Op painted the story so subtly and tilted the light on her part living the sad side of her, ever so slightly, out. Here now, the gullible ones are having a field day calling out the guy.
But I see through it all.

The thing is that the op has had a grudge about the guy not coming through for her like she has been doing for him. And ladies naturally pile this kinda stuff up until it gets to head. Which is when the ride arrived.

Forget her tale of not needing his help, her body language was screaming it. Yet, once again, the guy ignored it.
This is what lead him to apologise after the whole ish.
Even though he has his reasons for not supporting financially.

Why he went off the handle is the cold way she responded. That wasn't a normal response, it was a coded attack on his person. then she even had the temerity to drop the call.

May he never return

Run for your life. 90% of the characters you see In your partner during courtship is what you would see during marriage.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Martinez39s:
Ishilove, is this you? I kanot-bilivit.

mad o ... Stingy men association don dey make some set of women get sense

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

It’s been 4 years unfortunately. My advice would be to let him be. He is intimidated by you. Try as you might, you cannot change this. It has now become a dominating character trait. It’s been 4 years so I would not be so harsh as to tell you to let him go. However you have to see the warning signs. There have been tales of men who have their wives quit proper high paying jobs cos the man needs to feel like a man. Don’t be that kind of woman.

Mide3367:
mad o ... Stingy men association don dey make some set of women get sense

Ishilove just said what I wanted to say. Could it be that her husband got a hold of her nairaland account? Anyway, I rest my case.

HARDDON:
Op painted the story so subtly and tilted the light on her part living the sad side of her, ever so slightly, out. Here now, the gullible ones are having a field day calling out the guy.
But I see through it all.

The thing is that the op has had a grudge about the guy not coming through for her like she has been doing for him. And ladies naturally pile this kinda stuff up until it gets to head. Which is when the ride arrived.

Forget her tale of not needing his help, her body language was screaming it. Yet, once again, the guy ignored it.
This is what lead him to apologise after the whole ish.
Even though he has his reasons for not supporting financially.

Why he went off the handle is the cold way she responded. That wasn't a normal response, it was a coded attack on his person. then she even had the temerity to drop the call.

May he never return

....

Maybe you shouldn't have hung up the call on him... Men do not like that, it may look disrespectful.

"A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me."

There are better ways of saying I am OK when offered help or reason for not being able to help at a particular time.

Your response to his subtle move of "I am your man" was a total rebuff. Which roughed his ego and personal esteem of being capable to take care of you.

A lovebird will not be comfortable with your idea of I don't need you. You don't pronounced it but reiterate it often based on your narration. He is not secured financially enough, and you are not bothered about his emotions.

If you are unable to reconcile with him. You should be more concerned about your partner emotions and self esteem in your future relationship.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

He called and you ended the call. Do you know what you did. It's like walking out on him while talking.

You don't do that to me, no matter how financially helpful u might ve been. I ve ghosted many ladies becos of it. You re full pride, and he meant everything he said.


Even from your writeup says it all.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

sweet mama i am here for you please look my direction please hit me up

@habby222

I believe there is little to judge from the story without a counter perspective. I would hold back judgement on the guy given that you don't have his side of the story. Although the way he has gone about whatever wrong he felt you commited is alot chilish.

Also, there is little to actually reference from your post history to point out where the issues might be or things you can improve on except for this post reply of yours quoted below.

"How cool. But mostly the guys suffers feels low self esteem especially when the babe earns more than him. He feels intimidated"

Seems your experience in the relationship mirrrors your words here. Give him space and reach out to him a few weeks later to see what went wrong.

I personally have a feeling you rubbed it in on someone with a fragile ego(not your fault) . It is however
his responsibilityy to bring it up for discussion.

Reread your own post. If it is even 60% accurate, my dear, RUN.

Give Thanksgiving (by feeding some orphans) that he has stopped calling you.

Forget about the previous 4 years, it is gone.

You said you are financially buoyant, why are you 'testing' him with money demands when you're financially buoyant?

If the monies you dashed him are not small, always make it clear whether or not the money being 'borrowed' is dash or a loan. Don't keep quiet and keep things vague, that will inevitably breed resentment.

It is amazing that, despite spending 4 years together, you guys cannot communicate. That does not bode well for any long term relationship.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

SweetCunt97:
Four years! You never graduate? Choi. So if it crashes that's four years of yiur time wasted on a morafaka

Una dey try o. Better free the Niggah and give yourself some self respect.

Loud it abeg!

Hanty, how old are you and how old is he

The story is far from complete and it’s doesn’t add up,

If you are in a relationship for 4 years which I doubt, cause in a 4 year relationship you could be communicating with mere looking at each other

Respect is the problem in your relationship not insecurity

As you brought a car without letting him know and telling him that he isn’t married to you, so also you can get pregnant and give birth for another person and tell him that he ain’t married to you. By the way people marry people that have children with other persons.

If the love is there just make sure you find him and reconcile in any way necessary even if he is going out with someone else. Beg him to come back, tell him he has to choose you before another person which means he has no choice other than you,
Forget some people advice here ooo
Some of them cannot keep relationship, some even be their partner some are even serial cheaters
Follow your heart not another person’s idea

This is your happiness we are talking about

She should consult this 'man' about car she is buying for herself with her own money?

Maka Gini?

Is he Innoson?

habsydiamond:
A man will always be a man... Though ur guy beep up too but there is something about we men, that responsibility of being head is important to us.... If u do things without ur guy's consultation, how do u think he will feel like. Relationship without good communication will crash... U must send messages and receive in a relationship.... Carry urselves along with everything. The way I see It. Ur guy don dey pile am up taytay before he come japa no come dey pick ur call or wants to see u.. Try finding him, he will come back. U two need serious talk once he's back

Let him go biko base on ur write up he's not a nice guy for u at all u can try another free option like me here....

Bruised little ego

According to the OP, the guy was insulting her on the call. Nobody should take abuse from anyone.

The man should keep his emotions in check and think before he speaks.

Ekugbeh:
He called and you ended the call. Do you know what you did. It's like walking out on him while talking.

You don't do that to me, no matter how financially helpful u might ve been. I ve ghosted many ladies becos of it. You re full pride, and he meant everything he said.


Even from your writeup says it all.

thebosstrevor1:
Insecured Men can not handle independent women.

He is financially not buoyant so he already feeling threatened.

If you are planning of marrying him, dont do it, you will regret it, his insecurities will make you go mad and might end up making the marriage filled with fights.

You don't want to be with a man that will accuse you of cheating, that will monitor your movements and accuse you of everything bad all because you have more money than him.

If he doesn't pick his call, ex him, go find for your levels.

Even after she mentioned there were both financially buoyant, trust the guy too isn't doing badly.. Sometimes some people read undertone when you speak, it might not be insecurities. Trust me. It will not just be the fact that she bought the car that will make baba ghost.. She said. "I ended the call" and still expected him too call back.. Who does that because "he should know you are hurt". Two wrongs don't make a right., hanging up on him was wrong, he yelling at you wasn't right either.. You waited a whole week for the niqqa too come running.. I like the sincerity in her write up but the guy wasn't totally wrong.

Maybe he shouldn't have used insulting words.

When did men start being over emotional?

What happened to stoicism?

Benkingg:
Maybe you shouldn't have hung up the call on him... Men do not like that, it may look disrespectful.

Ekugbeh:
He called and you ended the call. Do you know what you did. It's like walking out on him while talking.

You don't do that to me, no matter how financially helpful u might ve been. I ve ghosted many ladies becos of it. You re full pride, and he meant everything he said.


Even from your writeup says it all.

Look at how heartless people like you sound, do you know how hard it is to make money out there, the useless guy has been leaching on her for 4 good years yet she should keep quiet and listen to all his insults on phone, it's like you guys want OP to develop high BP or become a slave to that egocentric guy.

OP listen with your 2 ears, harden your heart and dump that bastard, take your mom and sister and cruise your car, focus on your hustle and the right guy will approach you, if you accept him back you will never be happy.

Habby222:
Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

hit me up.. you're my spec

Forget the guy. He's a Sisi.

It seem u r too scared to start another relationship. There are good guys that will like ur type to marry. All what good guys need is a respectful, understanding and a loyal woman. It's only a foolIsh man that will misbehave to such woman with this qualities because the qualities works vis a vis.