Read my story and help anyone you can, don't let them end up like me

I'm not really a writer, and this is not main account.

I don't know where to start, but one thing I know is that I have come at the Nd of my journey here, the pain, the pressure, the failure, those words, I can't bear no more... Before you tell me to talk to God, since my childhood knowing where I come from and knowing the journey is not going to be an easy one for me, I have always put my faith in Him, but I feel betrayed..

once a smart kid with a promising future, but then the family struggle brought in depression, which affected my reading and my understanding, I lost one thing that made me happy, I lost interest in life, in friends, in family, in any thing that might bring joy, all I feel is pain and sadness, even though I don't get angry.

I'm 24, but still not yet in school, no hand work, just usual daily labourer work. left secondary school 2015, saved up to continue life outside Nigeria, but then my dream travel to Germany was cut short because of someone's wickedness, then the stage two depression set in again I fought back, I tried to remain calm and happy as much as I can. once again I started saving again and then last year I tried my luck with the nursing schools, well I got them after writing the entrance exams but then no money to continue... it wasn't easy.. the money was much.. then I did the most foolish decision of my life, that has made me want to end it, I invested in Forex with the last I had, and shit it was a scam.. All through this year's of pain and sadness, I have been calling unto God, hoping things will get better, but it's not, last year my BP went above normal and I nearly died.

well I think there is too much to tell but not everyone really want to read through. one thing for sure is there is no rest for me here, there is rest for me only in the other world..

last year I attempted suicide but it didn't work out, but this time for sure, I hope God is willing to send me to hell for believing and hoping things will get better for me.

Psalm 88 says much about me, my family, my little friends who don't understand what I'm going through, those who couldn't help me even though the were capable of doing so... I wish I could have done more for my mom, she has gone through a lot... I can't do this because of her, but life ( God) has left me with no choice. all the promises he made her, she is still strong, 20 years of sickness and pain but her faith is still strong... I love you mom..

My advice to young guys, run away from polygamy, don't bring kids I to this world to suffer, no one deserves it.

Live a decent life, laugh when you can, I don't know if I will say try and help others, some people I helped when things were a little ok for are the same people who can't give me 500 for drugs, even people I call cousins.

No matter what happens, please don't be like me, don't give up.

GOOD NIGHT ALL..

Psalm 13 & 22.

I hope you find peace.
Dear parent, if you can't cater for a child do not bear one.
A lot of depression in Nigeria are poverty induced.

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if you have telegram and you have people that know about crypto just click on that link .... it's A token in china looking to expand it's database and they are giving out free $1500 worth of ethereum crypto to users who can get at least 5 referrals from now till Friday .....

take it as a last resort before ending things you never can tell because I'm also in your shoes also 24 this year and this is also my hope so why not join me and give life a second chance ..it may just work out better than you imagined.....

DumbGeek:
Psalm 13 & 22.

I stare at your profile pic and it gives me a feeling of success before you end things why not let's try again this year and you never can tell thing might just turn around for the best for us

I CAN do all things through Christ that strengthens me

DumbGeek:
Psalm 88 says much about me, my family, my little friends who don't understand what I'm going through, those who couldn't help me even though the were capable of doing so... I wish I could have done more for my mom, she has gone through a lot... I can't do this because of her, but life ( God) has left me with no choice. all the promises he made her, she is still strong, 20 years of sickness and pain but her faith is still strong... I love you mom..

My advice to young guys, run away from polygamy, don't bring kids I to this world to suffer, no one deserves it.

Live a decent life, laugh when you can, I don't know if I will say try and help others, some people I helped when things were a little ok for are the same people who can't give me 500 for drugs, even people I call cousins.

No matter what happens, please don't be like me, don't give up.

GOOD NIGHT ALL..

hello, if you are still alive reply me pls let talk.

DaniDani:


hello, if you are still alive reply me pls let talk.

I'm alive but not around, I'm in isolation, wish to be left alone, I am feeling silence,

johnpaschal:
https:///BitCnyBot?start=r01472085850

if you have telegram and you have people that know about crypto just click on that link .... it's A token in china looking to expand it's database and they are giving out free $1500 worth of ethereum crypto to users who can get at least 5 referrals from now till Friday .....

take it as a last resort before ending things you never can tell because I'm also in your shoes also 24 this year and this is also my hope so why not join me and give life a second chance ..it may just work out better than you imagined.....

your link is not accessible

@OP, Life is tough, no doubt. Only in God, can you find the much needed rest and peace.

Please don't give in to those thoughts, you are stronger than you know.

Kindly join this group on telegram: http:///chinazayounganyanwu

He is a mental health specialist, you can talk to him.

faithfull18:
@OP, Life is tough, no doubt.Only in God, can you find the much needed rest and peace.

Please don't give in to those thoughts, you are stronger than you know.

Kindly join this group on telegram: http:///chinazayounganyanwu

He is a mental health specialist, you can talk to him.

And peace do I want to find, peace.

We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.

It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitable lead to his death, chooses to take his own life first. In fact, this act has been encouraged for centuries, and is accepted even now as an honorable reason to do the deed. How is it any different when you are under attack by your own mind?

I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!

DumbGeek:
your link is not accessible

that's because you have to have telegram pre installed in your mobile device because it redirects you to telegram automatically

johnpaschal:


that's because you have to have telegram pre installed in your mobile device because it redirects you to telegram automatically

I know how it works, something is wrong with the link

DumbGeek:
I know how it works, something is wrong with the link

https:///BitCnyBot?start=r08113907230


try this one

back to the topic, everyone will tell you to pray and talk to your pastor or priest, but it have been suffering this for years and whenever I talk to someone they take me unserious, priests and pastors are not left out. but something happened last year after I survived my overdose, I went online on Facebook only to see a message from unknown man, he is a pastor in the US, he said God directed him to me, he gave me the moral support I have never had for years. he made me strong again. but then the darkness is big. I have made up my mind to end it even though I doing fasting and prayer, I just see no reason for that

johnpaschal:



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try this one

I don't know why it's not redirecting

0.8.1.7.0.2.1.9.6.2.0 send me a text on WhatsApp.... lemme forward it to you there

you don't need motivation to live on ......you need someone who understands you and are in your shoe ......like I am.......in my own case I wanna make sure I do not leave any stone unturned....na only if hunger has the capacity to kill me na there I go know say I tried ...I fought well then I can rest well.....but until then we keep on Fighting till our last sweat and till our veins run dry

"Dear God"

I just want to make this clear
I am a believer
But sometimes it gets hard
My name is Dax

Dear God
There's a lot of questions that I have about the past
Can you hear me?
And I don't want hear it from a human you made so you're the last person that I'm ever gonna ask
Tell me what's real, tell me what's fake
Why is everything about you a debate?
What's the point of love?
Every time I've showed it I was broken and it's forced me just to only wanna hate
Why's there only one you but multiple religions?
Why does every conversation end in a division?
Why does everybody want to tell us how to live but they won't listen to the same damn message that they giving?
Bleep them
Tell me how to feel, tell me what's wrong
I tried to call, pick up the phone
Pick up
I'm on my own
Everybody said you're coming back, then man why the hell's it taking so long?
Why do I hurt?
Why is there pain?
Why does everything good always have to change?
Why does everybody try to profit off another man's work then destroy it just for monetary gain?
Tell me are you black or are you white?
I don't even really care I just really want to know what's right
They been saying one thing but I've been looking in the book
And it seems like they've been lying for my whole damn life
Tell me where I'm going
Is it heaven or hell?
I just hope this message greets you well
I had a dream that I was walking with the devil
Don't remember how it feels but I swear that I remember the smell
Looked me right into my eyes and told me everything I wanted could be mine if I gave up and decided to sell
But I said I'd rather die then get mine now I'm here no fear one man with a story to tell

Dear God
Where were you when I needed it?
When I bleeped up and repeated it?
When they set the bar and I exceeded it?
My life is like a book that they've been judging by a cover but have never took the time to fucking read the shit
I remember telling you my goals and my dreams but you didn't even answer so I guess you didn't believe in it
I remember sitting with a gun to my head trying to ask you for some help but I guess you didn't believe in it!
I don't want religion I need that spirituality
I don't want a church I need people to call a family
I don't wanna tell my sins to another sinner just because he's got a robe and he went to some academy
I don't wanna read it in a book, I wanna hear it from you
Don't wanna learn it in a school because they're hiding the truth
Don't wanna talk about it to another fucking human being and that's only reason that I even stepped in this booth

Dear God
How do I take this darkness and turn it into light?
How do believe in a concept where I speak to a man I've never seen with my own two eyes?
How do I know that religion wasn't made just to separate the world and create a whole disguise just to keep us in these chains while the rich get richer and the poor pray to you and perpetuate a lie?
How do I know this ain't some big joke?
How can I have faith when there is no hope?
How the hell does one man have a hundred billion dollars and we still have people on the street that are broke?
There's a lot of things I wanna talk about and get off my chest
I can't sleep 'cause the devil won't let me rest
I used to know a fucking pastor in a church and I can still hear the screams of the kids he would fucking molest

Dear God
Do you hear me?
I'm supposed to fear you but you ain't said shit so maybe it's you who actually fears me?
I don't know the answer I just want to see it clearly
So many lies there's a thousand different theories
All I want to know is who really made religion because I know it wasn't you but don't nobody believes me
No more lies, no more death
Bring back King, bring back X
Please dear God let their souls rest
Protect who's left and watch their steps
Dear God
I don't want to have to ask you again
I just hope that you know that I'm still a believer so I'll end this all by saying amen
It's Dax

Dax-dear God lyrics

closer

how about you give life one more chance bro .....let's try together hmmmmmm......if it's fails then we can both go together

DumbGeek:
closer

bro theres no need for this dude life still needs you .......why don't you chat me up let's talk hmmmm......one last trial

johnpaschal:
how about you give life one more chance bro .....let's try together hmmmmmm......if it's fails then we can both go together

I have given it many chances man, I have tried. the only thing is repaying okash their 7600 is used to buy medicine recently, I don't want anyone to disturb my mum.

Good day Dumbgeek.

Can you chat me on whatsapp 08032051131

DumbGeek:
I have given it many chances man, I have tried. the only thing is repaying okash their 7600 is used to buy medicine recently, I don't want anyone to disturb my mum.

you know why I'm still adamant bro ...it's because I know what awaits you on the other side .....it's worse than here cus you'd be so lonely and depressed ..... suicide would make you miss heaven cus opportunities are all around you ...you ain't just seeing it bro.... take your mind if death and watch things unveil before you

Whatever awaits me on the other side I welcome with my hands open. what is hell that I have not seen here man. is it days I slept out open in the cold just to make ends meet, is it days I go without putting nothing in my stomach, is it taking amlodipine so my nerves will calm down. what is it I have not seen

DumbGeek:
Whatever awaits me on the other side I welcome with my hands open. what is hell that I have not seen here man. is it days I slept out open in the cold just to make ends meet, is it days I go without putting nothing in my stomach, is it taking amlodipine so my nerves will calm down. what is it I have not seen

Everything you mentioned I've been there believe me hell is *10,000 of it....I can assure you......I've been opportune to see what goes on the other side ....it strengthened my resolve to Never give up bro .....you don't wanna know what I saw .....we can talk this out and work together....I'm trying to see if I can get funds to start up a business based on agricultural produce ...it pays fast and no loss acquired we could be partners bro .....I'm offering you a hand of friendship bro ....don't turn it down I beg you ...... before January ends I'd make plans so we could meet brother we could actually do this together.......... nothing is worth giving up do not give people the last laugh.....do not allow all those who mocked you get the last laugh

I can assure you I know what you going through....
I know how you've always felt whenever you think you've failed mom and couldn't meet up to what you promised to build for her my dear my mom died in my arms in 2019 after battling a terrible sickness for two years in the hospital......she died in my arms .....

I'm in your shoes but I won't give those haters who think I'm a failure the last laugh

we could bring this world to it's knees together and nairaland would be a witness to that

let's make this dream come through the system don't own us anymore because we've grown above the fear of death and see it as nothing to worry about believe me bro we could make history together only if you take the hand of brotherhood I'm offering...