I want mature advise only and kindly permit any grammatical blunders, please don't abuse me as nobody is holy.
Lemme get straight to the point, I met my wife 8years ago while in Uni. We dated for 4 years before she got pregnant and we married legally afterwards. During our dating years, she had never showed any signs of cheating nor had any social life but got herself in a messy situation once before with her ex.
Fast forward to during our early years married, I discovered she get less interested in talking with me nor ever discuss anything about herself with me. I always on several occasions tried to talk to her, at least to bring a conversation but she's always less interested. I'm always lonely most of the time and I felt maybe she's trying to adjust to motherhood, and also, I've read lot of stuffs about new mother's neglecting their husbands. Due to this reason, I started to talking to lot of my friends girls whom I have always regarded as friend or sister to some extent - making sure that they don't invade my personal space because of my wife. Before I forget this, I don't password my phone's, unknown to me that my wife was always reading my chats with this girls each time I'm asleep.
I have never cheated on my wife because I love her dearly, I dislike all forms of cheating even while in school when I have plenty chances.
Lemme talk briefly about my job, my job isn't that ideal but it's paying my bills and it had taken almost 70% of my time daily and because of the distance of my house and tfare in lagos, I decided to be squatting with my friend but goes home during the weekend. I discussed this decision with my wife - who was very supportive from the beginning.
Furthermore, we had our second child last year and I tried to reach out to my family anytime I'm free but most times I'm always occupied at work.
Now the discussion - late last year, I just decided to check her phone one night and discovered she had password it. Wondering why she did and made me more curious to check her phone more. I discovered she had deleted so many chats but mistakenly left one and it was some guy naked video. My first thought was maybe it was those useless guys, I didn't take it serious because I've never doubted her nor check her activities either at home or at her shop. Again, her behavior last year December got me worried, she doesn't look at my face anymore. If we had not being sharing room - I'm sure she won't have even bothered to say good morning, she doesn't cook for me nor have time for her kids. She's always on the phone secretly, anytime I asked her who she's speaking with - she will say her mum or brother. I decided not to bother myself with her behavior.
Fast forward to last month, I found out she's been having affairs with a guy who I later discovered was her okada man. I was broken and couldn't believe such betrayal and dropping so low to cheat with an illiterate and dirty person.
Her Family has been begging me and my parent wants me to forgive her because of our kids who are still very young and the little one is still breastfeeding.
How can I forgive and forget this whole issues because she's been having this affair for more than 4 months and has had sex with this guy twice already and the guy also has her naked videos and pictures. How can I forgive her because I love her so much even after the whole issue and can I ever forget this incident.

No man owns a woman. Always keep it in mind that as a husband you have about 80% share of her and the remaining 20% belongs to the community. As it stands she has offered the 20% to the okadaman. don't take it too much to heart and don't over think about it, this is nature. Just be more careful around her, use protection if possible for intimacy and make sure to give 6 months hiv test window. Forgive her for the sake of your kids and for the fact that God has forgiven us our sins on multiple occasions too. Peace.

Your brain is not a slate that can be wiped clean. You cannot forget it. Don't bother.
He nude pix and videos is what gets me worried. Your troubles are not over yet as a result.
One thing is for you to forgive. It's another thing if she is truly repentant and willing to make the marriage work.
You'll have to make a decision yourself considering all that has and will play out.

Did you confront her with what you have seen and what was her reaction?

Your marriage was growing apart at a time with he issue of both of you not communicating.Something had gone wrong and it was just a matter of time before one of you falls.

Your wife no try at all.
It's obvious you haven't been as physically and emotionally available as you should be but still that's scantily enough reason for her betrayal. Even worse is her ease at sending nudes from her matrimonial home.
Forgive? That's your decision to make but this shouldn't be before finding & addressing the root cause of her betrayal.
There needs to be some kind of reason to feel it would not happen again before forgiving.
For you, be a man and get your shits together, stop mouthing your wife off to single girls. That in itself is a form of cheating.

Thank you so much for your contribution

SUPERPACK:
No man owns a woman. Always keep it in mind that as a husband you have about 80% share of her and the remaining 20% belongs to the community. As it stands she has offered the 20% to the okadaman. don't take it too much to heart and don't over think about it, this is nature. Just be more careful around her, use protection if possible for intimacy and make sure to give 6 months hiv test window. Forgive her for the sake of your kids and for the fact that God has forgiven us our sins on multiple occasions too. Peace.

Normally, the first reaction was to fight it and delete everything from her phone. Unknown to her that I had copied everything details - after confirming that I knew everything then she started crying and putting all the blames on me.

thorpido:
Did you confront her with what you have seen and what was her reaction?

Your marriage was growing apart at a time with he issue of both of you not communicating.Something had gone wrong and it was just a matter of time before one of you falls.

I have never discuss my wife with any lady or girl and if there's need to talk about her, it will be only praises

TypicallyBrunt:
Your wife no try at all.
It's obvious you haven't been as physically and emotionally available as you should be but still that's scantily enough reason for her betrayal. Even worse is her ease at sending nudes from her matrimonial home.
Forgive? That's your decision to make but this shouldn't be before finding & addressing the root cause of her betrayal.
There needs to be some kind of reason to feel it would not happen again before forgiving.
For you, be a man and get your shits together, stop mouthing your wife off to single girls. That in itself is a form of cheating.

sahedorf:
Normally, the first reaction was to fight it and delete everything from her phone. Unknown to her that I had copied everything details - after confirming that I knew everything then she started crying and putting all the blames on me.

You were growing apart and becoming emotionally and likely physically unavailable to her.It's no excuse for her to cheat but it's a dangerous position for a woman to be.Once she finds that attention somewhere it's so easy for her to drift.

You alone can decide to forgive her and if you do,she has to be repentant and make a vow not to go that way again.
Have a talk with her.
I hope you keep your marriage and you have to give that time,that attention both emotionally and physically.

Nipping the issues in the bud when you noticed them earlier in your marriage would've warded off any further issues. It's possible your wife had postpartum depression, but you chose to neglect her to chat with single girls and sow the seed of discord via your actions. That said, there's no justification for a married woman to commit adultery twice, without remorse. Y'all need to communicate your issues, forgive one another, and seek marital counselling.

Please divorce that cheating biatch you call a wife. Even Jesus said that the only basis for divorce is infidelity. If you forgive her, she'll definitely cheat again. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Never forget that.

A lady who could condescend to the level of cheating with an okada man can cheat with anyone, even an agbero.

You strike me as the typical 'Mr nice guy' going by the fact that you were always looking to please your wife, looking at her face, and feeling lonely cos she wasn't giving you enough attention. I know you'd most likely forgive her and take her back, cos you're already harping on how much you really love her despite finding out she fvckked an okadaman, as most simpish men do, but I assure you that you'll regret it in the very near future.

You're now a cuckold as your wife has fuccked another man and broken the sacred vow of marriage, and the only thing left for you to do now is to send her packing. Period.

TypicallyBrunt:
Your wife no try at all.
It's obvious you haven't been as physically and emotionally available as you should be but still that's scantily enough reason for her betrayal. Even worse is her ease at sending nudes from her matrimonial home.
Forgive? That's your decision to make but this shouldn't be before finding & addressing the root cause of her betrayal.
There needs to be some kind of reason to feel it would not happen again before forgiving.
For you, be a man and get your shits together, stop mouthing your wife off to single girls. That in itself is a form of cheating.

So physically and emotional unavailability is now a reason to share your naked video as a married woman.Hmm Nigerians sha

Only a useless married person would go and and cheat! She is one of those useless wife. Just be watchful to avoid STDs and HIV You can forgive her only if she is willing to repent and for the sake of the kids. Know what she is enjoying outside that is more important than your home

Divorce her before you end up killing her,this betrayal strong

Okogiemikejr:

So physically and emotional unavailability is now a reason to share your naked video as a married woman.Hmm Nigerians sha

That's how you understood the post you quoted?

sahedorf:
I have never discuss my wife with any lady or girl and if there's need to talk about her, it will be only praises

dna tests bro. Don't waste time. Besides she would cheat again. However, I don't like how you described the okadaman that is very condescending.

After decisive fuckup for 4 months, you Load people to come and beg. what's more more annoying than that.

Pack your children and free madam to go and chop an "okadad" prick.

We better see the hypocrisy abi social injustice in this part of the world for what it is:

If a man is sitting and girl is standing, he is not a gentleman.

If married woman cheat, its uglier than if the man cheated.

sahedorf:
Normally, the first reaction was to fight it and delete everything from her phone. Unknown to her that I had copied everything details - after confirming that I knew everything then she started crying and putting all the blames on me.

Emotional blackmail, that is the card most women play when they get caught, blame it on the husband. An okada man?! E get as e be. I actually can't stand a cheating partner, the health risk it exposes one and all that. You can forgive, for the sake of your kids, but know that your Union may never be the same again, if you are the type that abhors cheating.

I fear marriage

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

SUPERPACK:
No man owns a woman. Always keep it in mind that as a husband you have about 80% share of her and the remaining 20% belongs to the community. As it stands she has offered the 20% to the okadaman. don't take it too much to heart and don't over think about it, this is nature. Just be more careful around her, use protection if possible for intimacy and make sure to give 6 months hiv test window. Forgive her for the sake of your kids and for the fact that God has forgiven us our sins on multiple occasions too. Peace.

Oh Good Lord please help this generation men. Just look at the advice of this Sissy cum SIMP.
What kind of advice is this?

Op first of all, get confirmation that the kids she birthed are truly yours(Blood/genotype test or DNA).
End the sham of a marriage with immediate alacrity, if the kids are yours, seek a court injunction and bar her from having access to the kids, if otherwise send her packing alongside the kids and divorce her.


Never you forgive a cheating Woman because once a cheat always a cheat.
Hoes don't change, they only go on vacation.

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

Leaving a cheating wife in your house is dangerous.

How sure are you that you are even the biological owner of your two kids?


No justification for cheating for both genders and what is the assurance that she will not go back again?

Think about it very well

mosdii:



Oh Good Lord please help this generation men. Just look at the advice of this Sissy cum SIMP.
What kind of advice is this?

Op first of all, get confirmation that the kids she birthed are truly yours(Blood/genotype test or DNA).
End the sham of a marriage with immediate alacrity, if the kids are yours, seek a court injunction and bar her from having access to the kids, if otherwise send her packing alongside the kids and divorce her.


Never you forgive a cheating Woman because once a cheat always a cheat.
Hoes don't change, they only go on vacation.

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

21st century illiterate.

TypicallyBrunt:


That's how you understood the post you quoted?

Not exchanging barbs with you,���

only you know what to do because you know her better, so it is left to you to either forgive her or divorce her.
but for me, you can give her second chance because everybody deserve a second chance.

Give her foot rubs and buy her jewelry.

gozzlin:
Please divorce that cheating biatch you call a wife. Even Jesus said that the only basis for divorce is infidelity. If you forgive her, she'll definitely cheat again. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Never forget that.

A lady who could condescend to the level of cheating with an okada man can cheat with anyone, even an agbero.

You strike me as the typical 'Mr nice guy' going by the fact that you were always looking to please your wife, looking at her face, and feeling lonely cos she wasn't giving you enough attention. I know you'd most likely forgive her and take her back, cos you're already harping on how much you really love her despite finding out she fvckked an okadaman, as most simpish men do, but I assure you that you'll regret it in the very near future.

You're now a cuckold as your wife has fuccked another man and broken the sacred vow of marriage, and the only thing left for you to do now is to send her packing. Period.

nice comment..... all those that commented above u eh,,, I can only SMH

Trust me, that Okada man has slept with her more than twice. As a matter of fact, he would've had sex with her far more times within the said 4months than you've had her within a year period.

That woman can kill you. Better give yourself brain and do the needful

I can assure you that you can never forget it and the trust in the house has broken already. I have experienced something close to this before and everybody will want you to forgive her and move on. The decision is yours to make. Don't succumb to emotional blackmail. If you think that it is ok for you to move on with her, so be it.

What experience has taught me is that women are generally not rational with decision making like men. They are mostly moved by emotions. I can assure you that your woman fell into that trap because there was a vacuum due to your absence. The possible reason for her to 'stoop so low' to an okada man is that he is always around to take her to different places. He chats regularly with her and that made her to start pouring out her emotional needs to the man. Unfortunately, once a woman start having affairs with another man, you will definitely notice a change of behaviour if you have a discerning mind.

Truth be told, you can't completely blame the woman for what is happening. It is dangerous to leave a woman alone for too especially with periodic intervals. You need to see how you will adjust your time to be coming home regularly even if it is not everyday.

Trust me, a lot of married women cheat these days but they are very discrete about it. Only few are caught. If you want to test the resolve of a woman, let her be in a safe environment that is free from any potential drama.

It's quite painful to be hustling for what the family will eat and she will be somewhere describing you in a despicable ways to her lovers while they are making love.

Sorry bro. Once again, it is your decision. Marriage is not easy in Africa because of families.

forgive her after all you are also cheating in that your friend's place or you want to deny it?

RisenPhoenix1:
Give her foot rubs and buy her jewelry.

And he should also buy her a car too so that the okada man would know her level don change


He said someone is illiterate and dirty, yet his wife chose to have sex with him.

I don't know why he thinks he is better than the okada man.