kandiikane:

No it should not be but for me the only time you will be responsible for me is when you take me out because I aint paying nada not even one kobo

As princess Diana or what?

Ranoscky:

As princess Diana or what?

lol yes?

kandiikane:

lol yes?

Sign out of fantasy and sign in to reality!

Then watch me as I eat if you cant pay for food going to your own belly

dayokanu:

Then watch me as I eat if you cant pay for food going to your own belly

If you cannot afford to pay for me why ask to take me out, silly men

Ranoscky:

Sign out of fantasy and sign in to reality!

what fantasy?  I don't do fantasy,  Fantasy is for a man who cannot afford for his babe

Why cant the babe pay for herself? Is she born to depend on other ppl?

I am sure the man you are asking to pay for you has the same brains as you the same hand as you so Why do you need a fellow human being to pay for you

dayokanu:

Why cant the babe pay for herself? Is she born to depend on other ppl?

I am sure the man you are asking to pay for you has the same brains as you the same hand as you so Why do you need a fellow human being to pay for you

If you cannot afford to pay my meal why ask me out? Like I wrote on the other thread it is all about future stability, Unless I wear the trousers in the relationship the man should be the man and provide for the woman and even if the woman has money of her own they man should still offer to pay,
If you cannot afford to pay for a babe I do not think you should be with her,

kandiikane:

If you cannot afford to pay for me why ask to take me out, silly men
what fantasy?   I don't do fantasy,  Fantasy is for a man who cannot afford for his babe

If som1 should pay before 'doing' sex-peddler, they should aslo pay before doing U? Then whats the difference?

kandiikane:

If you cannot afford to pay my meal why ask me out? Like I wrote on the other thread it is all about future stability, Unless I wear the trousers in the relationship the man should be the man and provide for the woman and even if the woman has money of her own they man should still offer to pay,
If you cannot afford to pay for a babe I do not think you should be with her,

So now what differentiates you from a hooker?

A hooker needs to be paud for her sexual services, You also claim you need to be paid for your sexual services

olugirl:

these topics are quite common on nairaland where it seems for the woman in a relationship its all about money.

For a hardworking, honest female like myself . i find it quite sad, do 9ja women not work anymore that everything is about the guy having to buy some ATM card or brazillian hair etc?

Anyways back to the question, unfortunately the 9ja society has made it almost a man's responsibility(i wont go into feminine rights etc), but for me, i pay my bills, do all my things myself etc. my bf may decide to give me a treat or sometimes pay for something like my hair cos he really likes the hair (I have had to say no sometimes cos i dont like to feel like I am owned by a man) but i definitely don't see myself as his responsibility as I dont ask for things.

I guess i just live in the age of independent women,  

spoken like a real woman.

Ranoscky:

If som1 should pay before 'doing' sex-peddler, they should aslo pay before doing U? Then whats the difference?

bros abeg no kill me with laughter  

the truth is that men respect women who respect themselves
sometimes i feel like throwing up when i hear women say they are expensive, it makes me sick at their stupidity

and the funny thing is they act as if they have said something sensible
so sad    

Ranoscky:

If som1 should pay before 'doing' sex-peddler, they should aslo pay before doing U? Then whats the difference?

Paying for foodand paying for sex are two different things  ,

So are you saying that a man paying a bride price is the same as doing a love-peddler because after the man as paid the bride price sex is indeed in the books,

I Have never asked my boyfriend for money when we go out he pays and I have never asked for him to pay, Although I do not need his money that foundation should be there because thats what makes him a real man. I like men who know they are men and  should take care of their babe even if the babe don't need looking after.

I am very traditional when it comes to this

dayokanu:

So now what differentiates you from a hooker?

A hooker needs to be paud for her sexual services, You also claim you need to be paid for your sexual services

Please abeg yu sa ful nuh spoil me wordings for me, I did not write I get paid for sexual services,

Are the women babies or minors that needs to be taken care of?

Why cant a woman take care of herself and the man take care of himself?

to an extent,she is both of you are supposed to use your own ideas on the issue of responsibility,
these days even a wife should be reasonable

dayokanu:

Are the women babies or minors that needs to be taken care of?

Why cant a woman take care of herself and the man take care of himself?

I am traditional about these things, If a man marries me I would expect him to put in as much as I would put in but if we are just relationship I would not expect to pay because if you want to marry me you will have to be able to provide,
Off course if it occasions like valentines, birthdays etc I would happily get something for him but in the case where he ask to take me out why should I paid , abi na me ask to take him out?
A man should be ashamed if a woman offers you the money and you take it
As for the children if we do not look after them who will?

kandiikane:

If you cannot afford to pay my meal why ask me out?  Like I wrote on the other thread it is all about future stability,  Unless I wear the trousers in the relationship the man should be the man and provide for the woman and even if the woman has money of her own they man should still offer to pay,  
If you cannot afford to pay for a babe I do not think you should be with her,

This is where you (and a whole lot of you) fail to understand the dynamics behind this.
It's like one of those little things a girl observes from reading a guy that he isn't aware of, but that little thing could thumbs up or thumbs down her general opinion of him.

It's not about not affording [/b]anything. It's about two mature, independent [b]strangers [/b]getting to know each other. And please don't try to play that whole "he asked me out" card. If the guy didn't ask you out, you'd be crying and roting in your room going "why doesn't anybody ask me out?". He did you as much a favor asking you out as you did him going out with him. It's better to plan to pay your own food, to which the guy can then offer to foot the bill on his own, than to be staring at his face when they put the bill on the table. To anyone but a mugu, that behavior would register in his mind as you being prone to gold diggery, which is a turn off for a serious guy, no matter how rich he is.

During the first few dates, it is important that this girl shows me she is not primarily interested in my gifts and money or me paying her way through life, but takes a genuine interest in [b]me as a person. The same way you as a girl would want to make sure this guy has a genuine interest in you as a person prior to getting intimately close. Some Naija girls (even the ones that don't live in naija anymore) fail to understand that they are in a very globally competitive market right now, and so need to re-evaluate their dating behaviors.

A naija guy doesn't know what he is missing until he dates a good white chick.

kandiikane:

I am traditional about these things, If a man marries me I would expect him to put in as much as I would put in but if we are just relationship I would not expect to pay because if you want to marry me you will have to be able to provide,
Off course if it occasions like valentines, birthdays etc I would happily get something for him but in the case where he ask to take me out why should I paid , abi na me ask to take him out?
A man should be ashamed if a woman offers you the money and you take it
As for the children if we do not look after them who will?

Whats wrong with you taking care of your own tab and he takes care of his own.

No man would want to take your money or ask you for money and I believe it should be shameful for a woman to do the same also. Its a shame for any human being to expect another human being to take care of them or pick their bills except they are disabled

For the children both of you contribute equally 50/50.

@2buff,

Its not only whites I know some other black women who take care of their tabs when going out. Its just a shameful thing when a girl expects a guy to pick her tabs when she ate the food and she is not disabled

^^ yeah man I know. It's why I said some naija girls.
Since I've been here, It's only the naija girls I've noticed who actually expect the guy to pay, and don't really acknowledge the fact that he did pay it all as a seperate gesture of kindness.

kandiikane:

Paying for foodand paying for sex are two different things  ,

My sista, before a guy takes a gal out, he knows what his plans are after every-every, k?

kandiikane:

So are you saying that a man paying a bride price is the same as doing a love-peddler because after the man as paid the bride price sex is indeed in the books,

You can see that YOU is justifying your act here!

A wife is brought into the house for home responsibilities, while a sex-peddler is being paid for sex! And you said a guy that doesnt have money should not take a gal out, right? GOOD! Now, on what stance should a guy take you out? Are you in love with his money or inlove with the man himself?

kandiikane:

I Have never asked my boyfriend for money when we go out he pays and I have never asked for him to pay

Is it until he ask's you to?

kandiikane:

Although I do not need his money that foundation should be there because thats what makes him a real man.

Ya! He is a REAL MAN b'cos the FOUNDATION is there. But, if it's not there, then he is a FANTASY man, right?

kandiikane:

I like men who know they are men and  should take care of their babe even if the babe don't need looking after.

Now, lets do the REMIX!

How about LOVING a guy that knows he is a man but couldnt care for his galfriend cos the money was not there?

kandiikane:

I am very traditional when it comes to this

Ya, I understand.

TRADITIONAL interms of FOUNDATION, right?

Kingsleyinfo:

bros abeg no kill me with laughter  

the truth is that men respect women who respect themselves
sometimes i feel like throwing up when i hear women say they are expensive, it makes me sick at their stupidity

and the funny thing is they act as if they have said something sensible
so sad    

My broda, It baffles me, really! I just cant comprehend their Xtravagant life style these days (when they'r not even up to the standard)!

SUCKS!!!

If you do not want to pay for your babes tab that is your business but for me I expect you to pay

2buff:

This is where you (and a whole lot of you) fail to understand the dynamics behind this.
It's like one of those little things a girl observes from reading a guy that he isn't aware of, but that little thing could thumbs up or thumbs down her general opinion of him.

It's not about not affording [/b]anything. It's about two mature, independent [b]strangers [/b]getting to know each other. And please don't try to play that whole "he asked me out" card. If the guy didn't ask you out, you'd be crying and roting in your room going "why doesn't anybody ask me out?". He did you as much a favor asking you out as you did him going out with him. It's better to plan to pay your own food, to which the guy can then offer to foot the bill on his own, than to be staring at his face when they put the bill on the table. To anyone but a mugu, that behavior would register in his mind as you being prone to gold diggery, which is a turn off for a serious guy, no matter how rich he is.

During the first few dates, it is important that this girl shows me she is not primarily interested in my gifts and money or me paying her way through life, but takes a genuine interest in [b]me as a person. The same way you as a girl would want to make sure this guy has a genuine interest in you as a person prior to getting intimately close. Some Naija girls (even the ones that don't live in naija anymore) fail to understand that they are in a very globally competitive market right now, and so need to re-evaluate their dating behaviors.

A naija guy doesn't know what he is missing until he dates a good white chick.

If you believe that by paying a meal for the girl on the first date means she is a gold digger then goodluck with you,

If you meet me somewhere and take me my number and then ask me for a date but then do not pay that is a done deal for me,

I am not a gold digger I do not need you to present me with gifts for me to go out with you all I say is just pay when we go out

2buff:

A naija guy doesn't know what he is missing until he dates a good white chick.

Beliee dah!

Woah this is the first time I'm hearing that a gurl is expected to pay for her own food during a date. Huh?! Hmmn, the relationship was WHOSE idea, by the way?? You ask a girl out, to be ur gf etc, and then act like u're doing her a favour. If u can't afford the rab for a decent meal, I wonder what you can afford as a man

kandiikane:

I am traditional about these things,  If a man marries me I would expect him to put in as much as I would put in but if we are just relationship I would not expect to pay because if you want to marry me you will have to be able to provide,
Off course if it occasions like valentines, birthdays etc I would happily get something for him but in the case where he ask to take me out why should I paid , abi na me ask to take him out?
A man should be ashamed if a woman offers you the money and you take it
As for the children if we do not look after them who will?

If we're talking about restaurants on first few dates:
No-one's offering anybody money. Simply pay the restaurant for what you [/b]ate. You're paying the restaurant, not him.
He has made no commitments to you yet and neither you him. Self respect and financial reasonability in a woman is sexy regardless of a man's deep pockets, because every man knows there are times in life where things might not be so rosy, but he needs to know this potential person by his side is the type that will be down for him no matter what and isn't just some barbie doll leech that falls off when he has "no more blood". Like I said, it's one of those subtle things that make a big difference. . . like body language. first impression matters.

The guy can still pay, but at least make an effort to want to pay and put your purse back in your bag if he tells you "don't worry I got this". Regardless of truth, that sends the message that this is a quality gal with manners who [b]understands.

In fact, a girl who does these things would make me more free on how I spend on her as I know that no matter how much I spend on her, it's me she's interested in. This is KEY, especially in this age where some women marry just to divorce the man a week later with 70% of his goods. Times have changed, and y'all can't keep playing the same game.

2buff:

In fact, a girl who does these things would make me more free on how I spend on her as I know that no matter how much I spend on her, it's me she's interested in. This is KEY, especially in this age where some women marry just to divorce the man a week later with 70% of his goods. Times have changed, and y'all can't keep playing the same game.

Unfrotunately, some men are stil falling for such in the name of LOVE!

FOOLS !!!

Ranoscky:

My sista, before a guy takes a gal out, he knows what his plans are after every-every, k? You can see that YOU is justifying your act here!
!

I do not lay my legs open after a guy has paid

Ranoscky:



A wife is brought into the house for home responsibilities, while a sex-peddler is being paid for sex! And you said a guy that doesnt have money should not take a gal out, right? GOOD! Now, on what stance should a guy take you out? Are you in love with his money or inlove with the man himself? Is it until he ask's you to?Ya! He is a REAL MAN b'cos the FOUNDATION is there. But, if it's not there, then he is a FANTASY man, right?Now, lets do the remix!

If you want to take a girl out you have to have money for both of you

Why would I be in love with the guy when this is our first date,
Since you say the guy knows what his plans are after the meal then I know my plans for the meal,

Yes he is a fantasy man,  How can you ask a girl for a date and take her and not pay for both of you?

I will not be with a husband who I know has no money or motivation to make money,  I am not a gold digger but I want us to enjoy the finer things in life equally from both of us,  I am not going to be in a one sided marriage.

Ok this is it,  We are equals but to an extent. I see the husband to be the person who controls the financial aspects of the marriage, top of the household, when he says this it should be done,when he says cooks you should when he says clean you should etc etc, He has to be in control.

For me how I know a man is in control is that gesture of paying straight away when we go out without him waiting to find out if I will pay my own half. It is not about the money again I repeat it is the knowing that my family will be sustained and taken cared off.I have more respect for those sort of men,  God did not make woman before man he made man before woman,  It is a mans responsibility to take care of the female not only financially but in other things as well,  But now since men expect women to pay there meal all that is going does not work anymore,  The reason why men don't get respect from their wives its because they both doing the same thing, If she is at work and he is at work and he comes home to tell the wife to clean and cook. You will expect her to do it because she is the woman,  Just like you are the man,  you are meant to control the financial issues,  I would not expect my man to cook or clean or do anything that is virtually a woman's task unless for romance, even not marriage I do not expect to go to my boyfriend's house see dirty house and bowls and not clean it,  It spoils my mood when I see a man cleaning or washing dishes or whatever a woman should be doing. Just like that a woman and a man have roles to play,  With that said I know my role and he should know his role to pay when we go out,
.
Maybe its the way I have been brought up,
In my family when a man wants one of the girls we expect him to take us all out( Not all the family members a selected few) and pay for all each mouth,  He does not have to be rich rich but just be able to feed 5-6 mouths

2buff I have self respect and I am financially stabled but this has nothing to do with just paying the restaurant if you cannot pay for my mouth when we go out do not ask to take me out for dinner or whatever take me somewhere were you don't have to spend your money but you are still expected to pay when we go out as my boyfriend

Like I said you should be ashamed if a girl gives you money and you take it just like a woman should be ashamed if she sees her man taking a broom sweeping and she does not stop him,

^^ you're not getting it sis.

It's not about not being able to pay. Any solid guy should be able to pay for him and his date without sweat. I make it a thing to pay for all my dates, but the only girls(white)  that really impressed [/b]me were the ones who made the effort to want to pay for their meal. Of-course I was like "don't be silly " and paid it all, but [b]something [/b]happened there, in the deep recesses of the psyche, where things like observed body language is processed. I had more respect for them.

This was impressive and mature, and I'm sorry as it seems you can never really understand this.
This became a girl I deeply wanted to get to know on a soul level as the [b]vibe(very important) she emitted was one of "I don't care about this guy's pockets. I care about what he's about".

ragdollz:

Woah this is the first time I'm hearing that a gurl is expected to pay for her own food during a date. Huh?! Hmmn, the relationship was WHOSE idea, by the way?? You ask a girl out, to be your gf etc, and then act like u're doing her a favour. If u can't afford the rab for a decent meal, I wonder what you can afford as a man

you have simplified my point for these blockheads, Cheers

2buff:

^^ you're not getting it sis.

It's not about not being able to pay. Any solid guy should be able to pay for him and his date without sweat. I make it a thing to pay for all my dates, but the only girls(white)  that really impressed [/b]me were the ones who made the effort to want to pay for their meal. Of-course I was like "don't be silly " and paid it all, but [b]something [/b]happened there.

This was impressive and mature, and I'm sorry as it seems you can never really understand this.
This became a girl I deeply wanted to get to know on a soul level as the [b]vibe(very important) she emitted was one of "I don't care about this guy's pockets. I care about what he's about".

No you do not seem to understand when golddigger want to hit she nuh go make am obvious she will calmly act like she wants to offer to pay,
It has nothing to do with maturity

My views are traditional to yours so good luck to you and your white girl, Take care of your own and I will mine

^^ Anyone knows naija tradition is more materialistic than possibly any other culture in the world.
Here (I'm not in naija), most girls don't really care what car you're driving or how much money you plan on stuffing down their throat.
They were brought up differently and with different values.

And as to the whole gold digger no go make am obvious point, again, only mugus fall for it if a girl they had respect regarding a certain aspect suddenly starts to change in behavior.
My mom didn't raise a mugu. I can smell a vagenda a mile away. 

Plus, you know a woman of virtue from her deeply analysed behavior and external character references.

Guys don't seem to understand that when it comes to "life partner", a girl acts differently. If it's my long-time bf and we plan to settle, a lot of things will have turned 50-50. But a guy who just asked me out a few weeks/months ago, expecting me to be "grateful" for his attention in this "competitive" era, by paying half of my own dinner(which HE asked me out to), then I see no prospect in dat affair. What next, buy me a Val/birthday present, then send me the receipt so we can split the costs?? HABA!!!

ragdollz:

Guys don't seem to understand that when it comes to "life partner", a girl acts differently. If it's my long-time bf and we plan to settle, a lot of things will have turned 50-50. But a guy who just asked me out a few weeks/months ago, expecting me to be "grateful" for his attention in this "competitive" era, by paying half of my own dinner(which HE asked me out to), then I see no prospect in dat affair. What next, buy me a Val/birthday present, then send me the receipt so we can split the costs?? HABA!!!

exactly

2buff:

^^ Anyone knows naija tradition is more materialistic than possibly any other culture in the world.
Here (I'm not in naija), most girls don't really care what car you're driving or how much money you plan on stuffing down their throat.
They were brought up differently and with different values.

And as to the whole gold digger no go make am obvious point, again, only mugus fall for it if a girl they had respect regarding a certain aspect suddenly starts to change in behavior.
My mom didn't raise a mugu. I can smell a vagenda a mile away. 

Plus, you know a woman of virtue from her deeply analysed behavior and external character references.

Now that is where you have lied