The phone kept ringing all night none stop. Well! At some point, I had to switch off the phone.

But before I could say jack, my private line started ringing. I picked the call on the next ring. I could tell whoever it was, needed my urgent attention.

Please come as quick as possible, he will kill me.

He is trying to break down the door. He wants to kill me ...she sobbed. I am dead!

I will be dead If you don’t come here on time... he will break the door and kill me, she repeated amidst her faint cry.

I could hear someone hitting the door so hard like the biblical thief in the night. I guess the person was trying to gain forceful entrance into where she was hiding.

It was 2 am that cold Saturday morning. I felt the first plan was to immediately phone a police friend. Whilst the line was ringing, I was praying, within me, that he picks his call.

He picked on the second ring. I had disturbed his sleep and wasn't happy about it. I tried my best to summarize the incident of domestic violence whilst he listened patiently with a few questions in between.

He, thereafter, instructed some policemen to go with me to her address since it was a case of domestic violence. Whilst my RRS friends proceeded to restrain the husband, I was able to get her to pack her bag.

She and her beautiful daughters will follow us and check into a hotel pending our next line of action at dawn.

He was dead drunk from the way he acted. I haven't seen a man so filled with rage. I recalled seeing his face before, but I could not tell where.

Her face was swollen like a corolla that had a head-on collision with a Dangote cement truck.

She had some cut in-between. One might think she had a facelift in a panel beating workshop.

This man be wan kill person pikin. Nor use person pikin learn boxing ooooo Goan meet Anthony Joshua, na your mate be that.

Please let's say no to domestic violence.

I don't think Uboma will panel beat somebori's daughter like this, will you?

Women are scum

Well! that was how I found myself handling her divorce case. We battled her husband for full custody of the two beautiful girls and won. She got him to pay rent, school fees and monthly maintenance while he had supervised access for one weekend in three months.

But why take the path of divorce?

Divorce proceedings in Nigeria Court are not fun. Another complicating fact is that an average Blackman runs away from discussing divorce.

Once they wear their garment of religiosities, they are quick to consider divorce a taboo. Filing for a divorce is not as simple as we see in the movies. It could be stressful!

It drains the resources and emotions of the weaker parent, particularly the children of the marriage.

Unfortunately, the children often bear the brunt of their parent's ego, despite not having a say on custody, child support, visitation and access arrangement. It is a sad reality that not all marriages fulfill the " till death do us part" vow, as couples after tying the nuptial nut can decide to divorce for whatever reason.

Ha! This is after they all had their pre-wedding pics on the front page of nairaland and sang West life’s Coast 2 Coast or “ I will never break your heart” by one of my all-time favourite. Don’t ask me their names!

It’s usually sad, especially for the children of such marriage to wake up to Barry Whites” Whatever we had, we had”, instead of Luther Vandross’s “ Always and Forever”.

Some marriages are not meant to last forever and in the words of Prophet Lucky Dube “that’s just the way it is”

Most divorcing partners have been brainwashed to believe that a duly contracted marriage in Nigeria can simply be dissolved by the execution of a dissolution contract (also known as marriage papers).

WILL THE COURT SIMPLY GRANT DIVORCE BECAUSE A PARENT DESIRES’ IT?

The position of the law is crystal clear that the Court will not grant a dissolution of marriage (divorce) unless the Petitioner (party seeking the divorce) satisfies the following conditions:

A compulsory requirement is that the divorcing couples have been married for not less than 2 years. But there are usually exceptional circumstances where the court will consider a marriage that is less than 2 years.

However, it might also interest you to note that there is only one ground or reasons in law, which must be satisfied by the divorcing couple before the court will grant their divorce petition. And that is, "that the marriage has broken down irretrievably".

Under what circumstances can a marriage between two lover birds be said to have broken down irretrievably?

In the case of Anagbado v. Anagbado (2005) 2SMC 118, the court held that under the Matrimonial Causes Act there is only one ground for the dissolution of all marriages, and that is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. This is provided for in Section 15(1) of the Matrimonial Causes Act.

But how do you prove that a marriage has broken down irretrievably?

There is no one-way jacket to decide on whether the marriage has broken down irretrievably. It does not reside in a parent approaching the court to determine what connotes an irretrievable marriage.

In the case of Onabolu v. Onabolu, it was held that the petitioner must plead and prove that the marriage has broken down irretrievably in her petition. Also, a petitioner who alleges that a marriage has broken down irretrievably must be able to bring herself within one or more of the fact enumerated in Section 15(2)(a)-(h) of the Matrimonial Causes Act before the divorce petition will be granted.

However, to prove that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, the petitioner must establish any of the following:

a. Denial of conjugal rights

Your Partner has refused to consummate the marriage- This simply means that your partner has refused you your conjugal rights. Right to sex on the wedding night is very important, which places an invisible seal of authentication on the marriage.

b. Your partner has committed adultery and you find it intolerable to live with him/her.

c. Intolerable behavior

Your spouse has behaved in such a way that you can’t reasonably be expected to live with him/her (this includes acts of bestiality, sodomy, habitual drunkenness/intoxication, frequent crime convictions, ill health, chronic mental health condition, domestic violence, etc.)

d. Your spouse has deserted you for a continuous period of at least one year immediately preceding your case for divorce – This can be said to have occurred when the other party has abandoned the marriage and moved out for a period not less than a year.

e. Mutual consent to having a divorce in circumstances wherein the couples have both lived apart for a continuous period of at least two years.

f. A spouse has failed to comply with a decree or restitution of conjugal rights made by a court.

g. When a spouse has been absent long enough to be legally presumed dead (7 years). The law usually presumes any who has been absent for continues period of 7 years dead and forgotten.

LoL @ your question.

Only weak men hit women. And I am not a weak man...

uboma:
LoL @ your question.

Only weak men hit women. And I am not a weak man...

Weak men..what if she misbehaves and get you to your breaking point.

How do you handle that part?

Please educate our ignorance as there are some weak men that will love to learn from your fountain of wisdom.

I usually don't hit women, I will just give her enough time to reminisce on her actions whilst I attend to work. I have a truckload of bank and individual cases to attend to. And if I can't think law at that moment, I read a law report or play video games with a bottle of beer. We must always settle our selves before the following morning.

@litigator, do our Nigerian courts involve professionals such as a psychologist to evaluate the divorcing parents and the children between them before deciding on custody.

Mindlog:
@litigator, do our Nigerian courts involve professionals such as a psychologist to evaluate the divorcing parents and the children between them before deciding on custody.

Not as a matter of course. But a divorcing party can independently procure the services of an expert, as in this case, a psychologist.

Particularly as it relates to the award of custodial rights because it is usually fiercely contested. This is where parties throw mud at each other while desperately trying to prove that the other party is not a fit and proper parent to have custody.

The position of the law is that the court will always, as a matter of course, award primary custody of the children of the marriage to their mother, except there is a reasonable cause to believe that the mother is unfit to have custody.

litigator:



Weak men..what if she misbehaves and get you to your breaking point.

How do you handle that part?

Please educate our ignorance as there are some weak men that will love to learn from your fountain of wisdom.

I usually don't hit women, I will just give her enough time to reminisce on her actions whilst I attend to work. I have a truckload of bank and individual cases to attend to. And if I can't think law at that moment, I read a law report or play video games with a bottle of beer. We must always settle our selves before the following morning.

Women can sometimes be loose with their tongues. No matter what she says, it is still not an excuse to hit her. If the situation is so tense, the best bet is to leave the scene and return when tensions are calm. This is what I will do though.

I do not know about others. However hitting a woman is a no, no for me. If my Sister reports to me about her man raising his hand at her, I will confront him, he should pick someone his size instead.