Ask your wife some questions too. This is unhealthy.

Now you are Eminem ...singing am sorry mama I never meant to hurt you ...

BluntTheApostle:


You can't blame him for being sentimental.

Issues like this make people sentimental.

Supposing your brother disowns your mother for preferring that his wife's life be sacrificed for their baby's, would you just support his decision?

Matters like this are better solved using diplomacy, not anger.

Yes, if it's a fact our mother said those sad words, i will support his decision. With her words, she has suceeded in dissolving the tiny fabric that held the family together. She lacks empathy.

The mother from all indications has always been a troublesome woman, even advising OP not to marry from his Father's tribe. Is that not the same tribe she herself married from? I wonder how she's been treating OP's father.

Now let's twist it a little: if your mother prefered you to die instead of your own 2day old baby, would you still be sentimental in reasoning?

vRendoh:
That woman you disowned is the only one I can guarantee her love for you in this world. The problem between ur mum and wife is not peculiar to you only. Over 80% of mother inlaws and daughter inlaws relationship is not cordial. The son/ husband manages it . That is what I expect from you. Your Brother recording your mum words and sending it to you has not help issues. You calling and playing before her did wrong too. The women want to control one man! That is the clash. It is happening in many homes. You can never fight and win your mother. She (mum) will need to adjust and accept your wife but you must love and respect her into doing this . Your wife must drop her position of SHE HATES ME....cos she ll do even worse to her daughter inlaw tomorrow. Everybody got to adjust! Grow up as a man and win the two women.

Your post is the definition of WISDOM.

Many of the ladies supporting OP's rash decisions would learn one day when they become the mothers of grownup men.

In life, many of us will have clashes with our children which will reorientate us that our children are no longer under our watch. Sometimes these clashes happen so early in life.

I have had such clashes with my dad as well, and I expect that my children will have such clashes with me too.

Clashes like this are normal. There is no need to blow them out of proportion.

It is not easy to be parents, especially to be mothers.

That is why women tend to forget that their once little angels have become men.

So when they have their first clash with their grownup sons, they panic.

And if the son shows no empathy, they become cold.

Treat your parents nicely. Empathize with them, even if you don't agree with their decisions.

Because you will be parents of grownup children one day too.

Perhaps, you are thinking that you can never be as cold hearted as OP's mother so no child will disown you.

But you can never be too sure.

Always remember that no one is INHERENTLY good or bad.

In fact, we are more bad than we are good.

So, when you make your own mistakes in life, how would you feel if your once little angel disowns you?

BabaIbo:


Swear that you have never wished any of your leaders death.

When Abba Kyari died, some people said they wished it was the president... that died.
Because they felt he's the cause of the happenings in the country.

That is similar thing to what the OP posted, the mom out of her sentimental love wished the wife died instead of the kid who probably my be her first grandchild, maybe because OP is her son and she knows the kid will forever be hers irrespective of a divorce or not, and again the case will be different if OP is her daughter and not a son.

The OP need to apply wisdom in this kind of issue. Decision on such delicate matters shouldn't be taken in a hurry because it may come back to hunt him.

Find out why she has such feeling towards her.


On the other hand, OP don't even know if both of them are in two separate cults and they are using him to practise their power fight.

I like your angle of reasoning.
Yes i agree OP should not take decision in a hurrry. OP already gave the reasons he thinks his mum hates his wife.

The fact still remains that the mother is not a good woman. No matter the grievances she should not have wished death for his DIL.

What goes around comes back around

[quote author=MISSCONGENIALITY post=9963433
some even strangle the baby instead of just leaving them alive where someone can pick them.
[/quote]

Strangle ke

na wa o. God have mercy

xavuv:


I like your angle of reasoning.
Yes i agree OP should not take decision in a hurrry. OP already gave the reasons he thinks his mum hates his wife.

The fact still remains that the mother is not a good woman. No matter the grievances she should not have wished death for his DIL.

What goes around comes back around

I agree the woman is not a good person.

But who really is a good person in this world?

Are you?

There are traces of anger, sentiment, selfishness, and every other vice in everyone of us.

If you have not shown any of this vice, it is because there has not been any need to.

[quote author=judedwriter post=99634615][/quote]Yes nah.

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

She [Your mum] doesn't like you in the first place.
There's no way someone would claim to love you without loving your immediate family.

Her act is a clear manifestation of the hatred she has for you despite the fact that an innocent life was lost.

Just be prayerful and don't ever discuss your wins or loses with her ever again even when the matter is finally resolved.

E get why

Thumbs up. Very cogent reasoning!

Such rubbish coming from a mother makes it more annoying.
Anyways, life deals with all of us in different ways.

BluntTheApostle:


I agree the woman is not a good person.

But who really is a good person in this world?

Are you?

There are traces of anger, sentiment, selfishness, and every other vice in everyone of us.

If you have not shown any of this vice, it is because there has not been any need to.

xavuv:


Yes, if it's a fact our mother said those sad words, i will support his decision. With her words, she has suceeded in dissolving the tiny fabric that held the family together. She lacks empathy.

The mother from all indications has always been a troublesome woman, even advising OP not to marry from his Father's tribe. Is that not the same tribe she herself married from? I wonder how she's been treating OP's father.

Now let's twist it a little: if your mother prefered you to die instead of your own 2day old baby, would you still be sentimental in reasoning?

First of all, if a loved one (not a stranger) wishes me dead, I will not DISOWN them.

I will demand answers.

If disowning is something that can be done freely, many people on this thread would have been disowned by their parents for every misguided utterances.

it all boils down to forgiving and moving on.

lesson learnt!

BluntTheApostle:


First of all, if a loved one (not a stranger) wishes me dead, I will not DISOWN them.

I will demand answers.

If disowning is something that can be done freely, many people on this thread would have been disowned by their parents for every misguided utterances.

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

Sorry for your loss!
Visit your mum and express how bad you feel when you heard what she said(not angrily o).am sure she will have something to say,if what she said dose not make any sense to you dont be angry instead try make her love your wife.
You need to also be very prayerful o! now that your stepmother has taken the place of your mother.
Abo oro lan so fun omonuabi,it o ba de inu re a di odindin

Brother, be wise; be patience, slow to anger but swift in reading between lines.

God forbids evil but:

What happens tomorrow if something else happens to u and ur wife leaves u?

Who do you think will be left with u in the real trouble of life? Ur wife or mum?

Who do u know first?

Who has sacrifice for u to be where u are today?

How do u quantify the pains and sacrifices made by serious minded parents?

Brother! Blood is thicker than water.

I pray you get sense and make ur mum accept ur choice of wife u have made.

Irrespective of her stubbornness, she is ur mother and u have to be wise.

U are in the process of fatherhood and l am sure u would not want anything comes between u and ur children.

The pains, suffering and endless worry over a child can't be quantified.

Be wise

xavuv:
Thumbs up. Very cogent reasoning!

Such rubbish coming from a mother makes it more annoying.
Anyways, life deals with all of us in different ways.

Are you a good person?

How certain are you that you would be just good enough never to step on the toes of your grownup children for which you would be disowned?

I still maintain that disowning the mother is wrong.

And her misguided utterance is bad.

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

People please carry your people along when choosing life partner, your mom is even lenient , some you go do juju against your wife

kense88:
My friend shut the trap. She has lost all respect she deserves, the moment she wished her own daughter in law dead. She is a disgrace and deserves to be kept at arms length.

Who starts conversations with shut up?? U lack proper communication skills....and u are mannerless... if not u won’t think it’s okay to insult someone’s mother..? If u have an opinion, say it like a civilized human being..

Ur opinion is ur opinion, my opinion is mine..


What u dont know is that some people don’t have filter in their mouth...they say what they don’t mean all the time..I’ve seen it many times.

I’ve heard it btw brothers, sisters, I’ve heard friends wish other dead, Ive heard children wish their parent dead...:my point is u don’t take permanent decision over a temporary feeling..

I hate or dislike u today...I can always love u tomorrow..

BluntTheApostle:


Are you a good person?

How certain are you that you would be just good enough never to step on the toes of your grownup children for which you would be disowned?

I still maintain that disowning the mother is wrong.

And her misguided utterance is bad.

yes i have come to realize that disowning her is a little bit misguided, but keeping a good distance is better.

Newoldme:
How old is ur younger brother?very childish of him.

If he didn't do it this may go another dimension madam

id4sho:

I was invited to a baby dedication, when I got there the baby was sleeping, I have to leave since the celebrant is not serious....very disrespectful.

Took me a second or two to wrap my head around your post. How da hell can d celebrant be sleeping?? Indeed very disrespectful.

BluntTheApostle:


Your post is the definition of WISDOM.

Many of the ladies supporting OP's rash decisions would learn one day when they become the mothers of grownup men.

In life, many of us will have clashes with our children which will reorientate us that our children are no longer under our watch. Sometimes these clashes happen so early in life.

I have had such clashes with my dad as well, and I expect that my children will have such clashes with me too.

Clashes like this are normal. There is no need to blow them out of proportion.

It is not easy to be parents, especially to be mothers.

That is why women tend to forget that their once little angels have become men.

So when they have their first clash with their grownup sons, they panic.

And if the son shows no empathy, they become cold.

Treat your parents nicely. Empathize with them, even if you don't agree with their decisions.

Because you will be parents of grownup children one day too.

Perhaps, you are thinking that you can never be as cold hearted as OP's mother so no child will disown you.

But you can never be too sure.

Always remember that no one is INHERENTLY good or bad.

In fact, we are more bad than we are good.

So, when you make your own mistakes in life, how would you feel if your once little angel disowns you?

See his other topics.He also talked about the hell he grew up in with his mother.
The woman has been evil from day one.

You have done no wrong in disowning a woman that wants your wife dead. Pay no attention to those preaching to you to accept her motherly "love". You will just die for nothing if you continue to make appeals to the number one enemy and antagonist of your existence. Avoid that woman for your (own) good.

The hypocrites typing nonsense on the first page will switch narrative if the death wish was from your father. Don't let them guilt trip your sanity into thinking it is OKAY to LOVE her. You already have a mother in your step mother.

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

One thing I will never do is disowning my mother. Have you bothered figuring why your mum so much despise your wife? I think that should have been your ultimate assignment and not disowning someone who had gone through sleepless night watching you grow.
Mothers are so precious bro, you should make peace with your mother and do all you can to settle the differences between your mum and your wife please.

sorry for the lost. but no one bother to know the already detoriated relationship between the mother and the son since the new wife came in. And remember maturity just utility diminish with age.

xavuv:


I like your angle of reasoning.
Yes i agree OP should not take decision in a hurrry. OP already gave the reasons he thinks his mum hates his wife.

The fact still remains that the mother is not a good woman. No matter the grievances she should not have wished death for his DIL.

What goes around comes back around

It is only God that knows who is good or bad.

Never jump to conclusion like that, her words or actions may be born out of something.

After all, there is a saying that for every action there is an opposite reaction.

What if she feels like she is losing her son and she doesn't care about anything again.

I'm not saying she is good, neither am I saying she bad.

The koko is that the OP need to apply wisdom in this kind of issue.

OP pray for wisdom.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
Some women are too bitter and can wish their child anything and you begin to wonder if they really have birth to the child.
Just like it's not every man who got a woman pregnant is a Father, not every woman who carries pregnancy is a mother.
Women give birth and dump the babies in the dustbin, some in the pit toilet some even strangle the baby instead of just leaving them alive where someone can pick them.

you're right. I agree with you.


can I DM you?

Acidosis:

You have done no wrong in disowning a woman that wants your wife dead. Pay no attention to those preaching to you to accept her motherly "love". You will just die for nothing if you continue to make appeals to the number one enemy and antagonist of your existence. Avoid that woman for your (own) good.

So the mother has suddenly become an enemy now right? A mother who could have taken just a second to suffocate the son at an infant stage and nobody would have suspected suchva murder has suddenly become a witch now.
If the mother despise the wife I think it's the duty of the son to find out why and make peace between the two parties.
I actually like the mother, some women would've tried to deny such matters but the mother proved that she was never an hypocrite.

igbowoman:


It is unfortunate but take the truth for what it is
You have done right.Your mother is evil. Don't allow her near you,near your wife or near your kids.
She has shown you who she is believe her
I commend you for standing by your wife, some jellyback men will not

Don't conclude matter like that there might be more to this online story.
A mother came to Lagos to visit her son, during her stay she was sleeping in the junior wife's room,after some days/weeks she discovered some fetish thing inside the wife's room covered in calabash unexpectedly (na da woman de top chart for the man heart den).what do you expect of a mother?she raised alarm upon that her son didn't see anything wrong.not too long the mother passed away and the issue died down but it was clear she never liked that woman.lemmi stop here...

phorget:



So the mother has suddenly become an enemy now right? A mother who could have taken just a second to suffocate the son at an infant stage and nobody would have suspected suchva murder has suddenly become a witch now.
If the mother despise the wife I think it's the duty of the son to find out why and make peace between the two parties.
I actually like the mother, some women would've tried to deny such matters but the mother proved that she was never an hypocrite.

Your point is that the woman who has in the past threatened to kill even her (own) son should be forgiven and pardoned because she's a woman and a mother?


If everyone reasons like una, no woman should be in prison.

Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

You can't disown your mother for not liking your wife rather make see reasons to like your wife it's simple like that, maybe you don't have a good relationship with your mother.

I could c some fault u made.
For your stepmother to b der 4 ur wife shows ur wife like her n no mother likes that.
Disowning ur mother because of ur wife shows something is even wrong wt u n no mother want to loose der son to his wife.
Trying to make us feel ur mother doesn't like ur baby shows u r trying to blackmail ur mother.

My brother, ur mother not liking ur wife is very likely is ur fault sir. U r a bad politician. It takes diplomacy to manage those 2.

We wey no disown our Mama no mean say everything correct o.

Sorry for your loss but what bothers me is why would your brother record your mom's discussion with him and play it boldly to your hearing?. Something is not adding up here. Your brother should be uniting and bringing peace to both parties, not recording the conversation, thereby igniting the fire. Are you sure there's no bitterness within the family, cause it doesn't strike to me like your mom is your only problem.