front page please

let's have fun answer the one you can answer and leave the rest to others

1. behind a toilet
bros where can i drop this waste product in my stomach?
2. how should i cook eba to make it look like akpu or poundy cos am tired of eating eba everyday
3. if i jump from a vehicle moving at 200km/h will i fall on the ground or the breeze will carry me along to my final destination?
4. if jokinly ask to see our igp and am jokinly permitted and then i jokinly went and jokinly gave him a heavy slap and his face jokinly swell up and they jokinly ask me why i jokinly slap him and i now jokinly said it is because he is the reason why i am not yet a police officer
what will happen?
...
remember police is our friend.