I couldn't break my gaze at her while making a mental note of the number of men she mentioned. She had been through 13 romantic relationships since her 24th birthday. Wow! What a collection of Ex's. How Telema managed all those without ending up in bed with one of them remains a mystery, making her a super woman, more like a highly principled girl...Isn't she? The awful of her dilemma is that none of these men held on for more than 8months.
Good enough she hadn't lost her virginity before her visit to me but holding onto it may not be the reason men dump Telema.
No doubt, several men who want sex before marriage do insist or walk away if not obliged. In this case, the problem may not be the virginity or the sex denial. It wasn't her looks either. She was an alluring beauty which I prefer to being charming...she was every feature a sexy piece worth waiting for by any man in his right senses. I see no need for the rush to co habit to disrespect her wish which seemed to have been the judging by her narration. Telema indulged me regarding her social and financial status, revealing how she attained self-sufficiency in a dignified fashion.
Despite all these, she isn't good enough for keeps as a wife yet. Please don't say "it's not her time yet". This statement has kept many from looking inward and unlearning or relearning as maybe required. Thankfully, she's enlightened and courageous to overstep such assertions to seek professional help.

I will tell you for free... after what seemed like an hour thirty minutes listening to her, I had some questions popping up on my mind but had to wait for her to take a breather but she ignored all the signals I gave her to let me come in beyond nodding, shaking my head and saying "awwwww" She would stop me with" Let me finish Doc, I'm not done talking doc" Realizing she was never going to finish, I started deciphering what her problem could be. It is beyond being attracted to men who aren't ever ready to settle down. It Is possible she obviously ignored a character trait tarnishing her personality...something her crop of men frown at. It's exhausive to deal with someone whose opinion must hold since they would never hear from the other side. It surficed that i would never have my chance so i kept listening as she went over and over about herself, her pride, her dignity, her beauty, her money her age and over bearing being. she couldn't stop talking and didn't stop. she drank water all the way to bottom of the bottle. Could it be she is tied to certain kind of personality who detests people who can not hold a decent interactive communication but who likes being engaged in a boring one sided conversation. Telema spoke lightly but breathlessly, maybe eloquently but rarely considered a pause. It occurred to me she wasn't one to listen to anyone else but herself.

Telema talks too much! I had to conclude. The beautiful wealthy damsel sitting before me is talkative. Yes, Talkativeness!... This is the problem. While she goes wordy, rambling inexhaustibly, the men who encounter her are impatiently dying to have the amiable girl, the meek personality projected by her appearance... this often seem at large, That girl is never there, It's only a matter of time, sooner than later actually, the center just falls apart and they would be gone. Anything done too much is bad.

The popular scriptural parable of the ten virgins revealed both the wise and the foolish were virgins; A set of five were not allowed to see the bridegroom not because they refused to lose their virginity to the groom before the wedding night...But because they were foolish. They were called foolish because they had no extra oil and were adamant. Extra oil in this case is good character!



Telema didn't have extra oil to sustain the kind of relationship she's presumably destined for. While she bragged about her virginity which seemed basically what she had to offer, these men sought more enduring quality. Unfortunately as it seemed, she never heeded self-counsel either because everything she might need as counsel from me, she said herself. She knew it all and proudly called herself a chatter box but she was simply garrulous. I couldn't agree with her on hiding under a street jargon "Chatter box" to rot in rudeness.
It's in fact rude not to let others have their turn to talk in a supposedly interactive session. I have admired "chatter boxes" but only on instances where they chart a money spinning course with it...where it's been converted to a potential source of livelihood the way Bovi and Treva Noah have done. Even the doctrine teaches Christians to fast from words that they may listen and learn.

If she could barely shut up, how can she handle confidential matters? She has a bad behavior which of course many may have tried to point out to her.


I broke through her one million word per minute to get her to take a deep breath and a minute to think...I asked her to tell me one thing her erstwhile lovers complained about her, just one common thing her lovers complained about her.

Surprisingly it seemed a tough one for her to figure out. I had to quickly make a note, listing a few bad manner seemingly associated with ladies of her age and class.

Overtly sensitive

Criticism

Waywardness

Crowding themselves with friends

Showy

Opinionated

Domineering

Frigid

Stinginess

Expensive to maintain

Religiosity

Quick-temper

Hiding a health condition

After going through the note…They say I talk too much, she said casually but I think am just bold and quite expressive….

She was in the middle of more when I cut in again to ask her to choose the option/options nearest to "talking too much" in the list. Taking a closer look, she chose domineering, opinionated and showy.

Impressive! It felt. She said it herself which made it easy for me. I explained straight how talkativeness could have been the bane of her relationship, talkative are usually socially awkward since no one sticks too long around them…
to be continued...
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