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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock (5144 Views)
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I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Orld777: 9:03pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Six yrs ago I left my city to a different city for a greener pasture, I left behind my wife and 2 children. I was a faithful husband to my wife and used her whenever I can everything was peaceful. Then come 2018 I have had planned to return back to my city in 2018 ending because I have had saved a lot of money to start business over there. Then the devil came to tempt me by sending me this beautiful woman till now I don't know how I gave in to her because I have vowed all my life to never cheat on my wife. But this lady won me over. We started dating and always sleep with her with condoms on to make sure that she doesn't get pregnant. But I was shocked jsut three months into the relationship, she drop a bombshell that she was pregnant, I was confused and I asked her what about all the condoms that I have been using and there's no way she could be pregnant but she insisted that I was the father. I told her I wasn't ready for the baby and I am married all I could ever do for her is to give her the money to terminated but she refused. She wanted to keep the pregnancy so I told her to keep it at her own risk because I will have nothing to do with her or the baby. I gave her the money incase she change her mind and decided to opt for the abortion she can use the money. She left my place in tears and she blocked me. I didn't know see her again till I left the city back to my city, actually I knew her house but I didn't bothered to go look for her. It has been 2 years plus since I am back with my family and I have never told my wife anything and she has never found out about my affair too. Last week I was in my office ( I am self employee) to my suprised the lady I had an affair with show up with a small girl who just look like me first time seeing her I was in tears . I was in shocked and started wondering how did she know my office I was angry what if my wife was there but I decided to keep my cool and listen to her. She said she was attending a funeral jsut 10 mins away from my place and she begged me to watch the child for her and she will be back in an hour. I asked her about the person who gave her my office address but she didn't respond she said she will tell me when she return back. She gave me her number to call her incase of any problem. Honestly I don't know how I have accepted to watch the child for her thinking that she will be coming in a hour like she said, but she never came back. Her number was not reachable she also gave me a wrong number. I was shattered and I didn't know what to do with the child, I was at my office until 10pm trying to figure out what to do with her. At the end I have to drop her at my cleaner house where she is now. My cleaner hasn't been coming to work because she is taking care of the child and I am restless because I have no idea what to do with her. I blamed the lady for everything when I have asked her and given her the money for the abortion and why did she choose to keep the pregnancy then later to abandoned her with me when she fully know that I never wanted her in the first place. What will I tell my wife and will she forgive and accept her that easily. I love my wife and kids so I don't want to this my illegitimate child issue to break my home. Please house advixe me. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by FairlyUSEDpussy: 9:10pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Nothing Oo brother....... Yo child remains yo child..... Yo blood is yo blood...... Just take responsibility of the kid okay ![]() Who knows..........she might even be your only biological child...........just saying anyway...... 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by KidDarkness(m): 9:11pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Orld777:Best thing you can do for your daughter is to take her to your home ASAP because she's your flesh and blood but first sit your wife down and confess your shortcomings. Next time tuck in your dick 10 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by thorpido(m): 9:11pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Tell your wife.It's what you will have to deal with. You can't just let the poor child suffer.If you are not sure the child is yours,do a DNA. Your wife will not be happy but you should seek her forgiveness and hopefully reach a compromise. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Nobody: 9:12pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
What ever you do remember that child is innocent 9 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Jashub: 9:14pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
My brother, the deed has been done but there are two things I'll advise that you do 1. Look for a way to cater for that child first. You see, that child happens to be a victim of circumstances beyond her control and it would be wickedness to send her to an orphanage. 2. Confess to your wife your infidelity and ask her for forgiveness. The reason I say this is because you've been living for two years with the guilt and the only way you can move forward is by confessing to your wife. Peace. 6 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by lkillbrokehoes: 9:22pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Like someone said earlier, the deed have been done, the kid is now your responsibility, take good care of her and you should explain everything that transpired with your wife before it's too late. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Lonelypacifist6: 9:23pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Are you 100% sure she's your child? If you are sure open up to your wife. If you're not get a DNA test done to confirm if She isn't return her to the owner. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by KidDarkness(m): 9:27pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Be grateful to God if your wife forgives you because it's going to be very difficult. Confession is a must , so brace up because a huge marital storm is ahead and you must do all you can to calm it. You and your wife should understand that the little girl is innocent so she must not be a victim of transferred aggression. For pulling such a stunt, I would make sure the young lady never sees or have a relationship with the daughter ever 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Zenithpeak(m): 9:38pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
The preg is questionable in the first place. Abandoning the child with you not minding what becomes of the poor girl testify to the fact, he's using you and aimed at blackmailing you to take responsibility over an illegitimate child and break your home alongside.... Report the case to ministry of women affairs in her state of residence and give detailed information on how she or any of her relatives can be contacted... Make sure a paternity test is conducted. Even if DNA test results put you on the part of responsibility, the ministry will help in talking to your wife and may even enroll the child into an orphanage if your cannot cope with child living with her. Just take a bold step. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by sisisioge: 9:41pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Biko if you perceive that your wife may not care for the child well, please let your mom, sister or any other female in your family care for her. Her silly mom already abandoned her, biko dont abandon her too. It is well. As for your wife, na tell you go tell am. She wont kill you. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Cutehector(m): 9:42pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
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Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by anna44: 9:48pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
I can advise you to read more about dating sites and be sure to read reviews and descriptions of sites on freedatingsites.com.au/flirt/ Now there are very many different dating sites and I think that in order to get to know someone with whom you will have a lot in common you need to chat on the site where there will be people with the same interests as yours. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Mrsoft3(m): 9:48pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Ok by all indication you have accepted she is your child,cos you said the child looks like you. Women truly know who the father of their child is, for her coming to drop the child is a sign the child is yours. You have made a mistake, your wife will understand, you need to forgive yourself first and then ask for forgiveness from your wife. Please go and take the girl from the cleaner house, children don't make mistakes, parents are the ones making such mistakes. Don't let her suffer for anything she didn't commit. Your wife will not be happy,there is high possibility she will maltreat the child, but I honestly pray the fear of God consume her. We sometimes find ourselves in situation we don't plan for, and the devil is a crafty idiot that is ready to plan for us when we are not watchful. I pray God grants us the grace to walk this walk. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Orld777: 9:49pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
FairlyUSEDpussy: Thanks. She look exactly like me and she has a birthmark in the same spot as me. I am 100% sure she is definitely mine but I will also conduct a DNA later just to be sure. 5 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Orld777: 9:50pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
KidDarkness: Thanks. I am scared I don't want to loose my wife and children. I have learnt a lesson and I have never cheated again. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Mrsoft3(m): 9:50pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Orld777: Don't waste your money, use that money to buy gifts for your wife,she needs it. Your kids needs the money so biko don't waste that money. Pikin na pikin 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by sweetmelanin(f): 9:50pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
You're calling this child illegitimate.. but how are you certain the ones your wife has for you are "legitimate"? Conduct DNA on ALL your kids before you start labelling them... 5 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by gfon(m): 9:52pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Cutehector:you guys shouting DNA,didn't you see when the OP said the kid looks like him.boss just take care of that kid,you never can tell of the future if u've got a president or governor with you. For your information condoms dey burst without you knowing. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Cutehector(m): 9:53pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
gfon:bros .wetin na..na just laugh emoji i post . No come dey quote wrong person. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by HONESTFACT101(m): 9:53pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
1-Op leave the devil out of this 2-You yourself cheated so bear the consequences like a man 3-And you get mind considering abortion person say condom too expensive Nonsense has taken over the streets of nairaland......signing out 5 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Orld777: 9:53pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
zangaozanga: Thanks. I know she is innocent that's why I don't want her to suffer and I am also confuse because I don't know how to give her a better life without loosing my wife and children. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Orld777: 9:56pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
sweetmelanin: I am 1000% sure they are all mine because my girls look exactly like me but my son look like my wife but they are mine. I have no doubt about them even my illegimate child I am 1000% sure she is mine because she look exactly like me and has a birthmark in the same spot as me. 5 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Orld777: 9:57pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
sisisioge: We are based in Senegal and my family are in Nigeria. There's no way I can take her back to Nigeria right now. 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by gfon(m): 9:59pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Cutehector:lolz i didn't even know i qouted you man.My day has been filled with 'highness'.if you know what i mean. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Cutehector(m): 10:02pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
gfon:oya appease the gods with one bottle of heineken ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by gfon(m): 10:15pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Cutehector:mofo ooo...which time sango start to drink beer? |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Cutehector(m): 10:17pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
gfon:since buhari enter power . ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by gfon(m): 10:21pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Cutehector:lolz recession really reach the god's side be that too. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Cutehector(m): 10:27pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
gfon: ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by Gloriagee(f): 10:34pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
@OP, You used HER whenever u can sounds so degrading. Is she an object? 5 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do About My child out of wedlock by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 10:37pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
You are reaping what you sowed. She carries the pregnancy and now she feels it's your turn to carry the baby. But how could you still be talking of how you reminded her to abort the baby even after seeing the child. That's how you two would have wasted that innocent child like that. Her God.no dey sleep. Person wey God say no go die, even abortion no go for kill am 7 Likes |
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