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So This Is Marriage? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / So This Is Marriage? (38957 Views)

Is Marriage An Achievement?? / Is Marriage A Distraction In A Person's Pursuit Of Success? / Is Marriage For Me? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: So This Is Marriage? by Stainless2000: 12:55pm On Apr 12, 2021
The truth in marriage is summarize in this, marry ur 'best friend' , develop a forgiving spirit with ur spouse, accommodate ur spouse weak points(weaknesses) & finally involve divine assistance thro prayers.

2 Likes

Re: So This Is Marriage? by DestroyEvil: 12:58pm On Apr 12, 2021
Marriage is for the truly mature realistic imperfect persons, not for kids that want a perfect spouse that only exist in dream Land.

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by Bmaster(m): 1:08pm On Apr 12, 2021
Richy4:
This is the kind of quality write up that used to make front page in 2009-12 before the popular Nairaland internet crash.......After the crash, everything went south...Thank you OP for bringing the fond memories of NL back with this write up!!!!
so sad bro,
I witnessed it
embarassed embarassed

That time when....nairaland was superb
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Pharaoh4rin(m): 1:11pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:
Now, I'm scared.

ive actually seen this happen in so many homes and it's the men that first start dousing the fire of love in marriage. They'll start by going to viewing centers or a friend's place to watch soccer, leaving the woman all alone at home. Before you know it, the gap is formed. The Interest in each other drops and you begin to see yourselves as siblings or biz partners.

It sucks.

You've 4gotten that in as much as a man want to remain at home with his wife, the wife most often in time steal all the show. She controls the remote whenever a man want to watch tv, she monitor his call and seeks explanation at every calls received, she seeks man's contribution to house chores. To avoid all all these nilly-willy, we choose to seek alternatives.

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by Bmaster(m): 1:12pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:


Easier said than done . grin

What if it's someone like me who doesn't like watching soccer? Im not sure it will work. That aside, some men, even if the woman likes, let her be a soccer fan, he'll still prefer to go out and watch it just to be in the midst of fellow men where the discuss will flow better.

Men just tend to get tired after seeing you continuously for a while. It happens with some women too. Too much see finish.

I think the best thing is for one of them to go on a vacation so that by the time they come back, they would have missed each other so well. I prefer it that way.
e.g buhhari/aishhha marriage abi shocked
Re: So This Is Marriage? by OnlyDeCapPlease(m): 1:12pm On Apr 12, 2021
robosky02:


https://m.facebook.com/chyflexofficial/photos/a.125925315788798/280045457043449/?type=3

Well said! I'm actually giving you standing ovation here.

One is bound to encounter challenges in marriage that will either make the unit stronger or weaken it. Like someone mentioned above, there is a right person for everyone. Some people are lucky to find the right person straightaway, some have to try a few times and some never find, not because the person is not out there, but because they haven't been lucky yet. Just like lottery, you never know if you will be lucky if you don't try it.

Like the op said above, it's the small small things that can scatter marriage. Small petty, irritating and annoying things that slowly build up until it becomes larger than life. During that period the man or woman will have, in their head, arrested, prosecuted, and found the other person guilty. All in their head o. Punishment could be the man or woman deciding to move on from the other emotionally (he or she ain't got your back no more and would be fair game for another man or woman) or end the marriage. To the other person it will be like it just happened out of the blue, "we don't have any major issues, just normal husband and wife stuff?!" etc etc. It's the small things.

That's why it's very important that you try and marry someone that you can get along with easily on a normal padi padi level. Someone you can do things with. Can easily talk to each other. And for pete's sake, there has to be some sexual chemistry because marriage is no longer the life sentence of abstinence it used to during the time of our elders. People will look outside if all hope has been lost inside their marriage.

Also it's foolish to marry someone just because they are from the same tribe with you. You might speak the same language and still not COMMUNICATE with each other. You might be the same tribe but very DIFFERENT individuals with different upbringing that will just be grating against each other.

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by Muslimsworldng: 1:13pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:


That men are the ones who start making the marriage boring and uninteresting.

I know some couples who after one or two kids, the man will start spending most of his time outside. He can be out till 12midnight only to come back and slip into the bed. I can't imagine such happening to me and it will never happen!
The responsibility of marriage working is on both side, stop playing victim. If a man decides to spend less time with his family, has the wife communicated with her man. A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT MEN MUST DO THIS MEN MUST DO THAT, WOMEN HAS A ROLE TO PLAY TOO.
Re: So This Is Marriage? by lillsmart121(m): 1:14pm On Apr 12, 2021
[color=#000099][/colour this write up deserves credit,to me it's a word of encouragement

Re: So This Is Marriage? by Kokaine(m): 1:21pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:
Now, I'm scared.

ive actually seen this happen in so many homes and it's the men that first start dousing the fire of love in marriage. They'll start by going to viewing centers or a friend's place to watch soccer, leaving the woman all alone at home. Before you know it, the gap is formed. The Interest in each other drops and you begin to see yourselves as siblings or biz partners.

It sucks.

looool. sounds funny but bizarre when implemented
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Praxis758: 1:23pm On Apr 12, 2021
I have a question........

Is the OP telling us that a good man on bed (BBD) in the other room with a handsome finance cannot serially make a woman happy in marriage?

The reason for that question is as result of the summary of criteria most single ladies are looking for to date/marry a may/guy.

A good answer will help me. Thanks.
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Ghostmode2two(m): 1:24pm On Apr 12, 2021
Marriage is both sweet and bitter
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Themie9: 1:36pm On Apr 12, 2021
robosky02:


https://m.facebook.com/chyflexofficial/photos/a.125925315788798/280045457043449/?type=3
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Kokaine(m): 1:43pm On Apr 12, 2021
NevetsIbot:
Lol... OP. Nice write up


I don’t even think I wanna get into this thing called marriage.

Me wey be say any small discomfort from somebody’s daughter, I go Dey reason break up. grin cheesy grin
I think I have this issue too
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Slynation(m): 1:43pm On Apr 12, 2021
We the single Men association are taking notice of the whole scenario and saying jisike to all those currently married....
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Labadi69: 1:48pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:


so, how do you deal with see finish?

Space. Give your partner space. Let him go and watch football and let her go and do her own things that women like to do na. Trust me, they will start missing each other and when they finally get to hang out, it will be like a new relationship.

2 Likes

Re: So This Is Marriage? by ashjay001(m): 2:05pm On Apr 12, 2021
robosky02:
Oyindidi


You try sha. But, I dont forgive sha. Esp, if you continue the same character/misbehaviour, after several warnings.

The 2 have to display mutual respect at all times. No one is doing the other a favour
Re: So This Is Marriage? by digitalman2811(m): 2:06pm On Apr 12, 2021
Bilabong:
Too long


Summarize pls
,
small pikin

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by labelle123(f): 2:10pm On Apr 12, 2021
chelsea1116:
Jus like life is sweet but we still know of the challenges it has.

That same way marriage is sweet and has its own challenges.

We build and prepare ourselves for the challenges of life

That same way..prepare and build urslf for the challenges of marriage.

I cant wait for d day i will be called "Dad" ..this alone has got me preparing and working hard to make sure that lady who will give me children will be well taken care of.
. wow

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by Nobody: 2:31pm On Apr 12, 2021
Labadi69:


Space. Give your partner space. Let him go and watch football and let her go and do her own things that women like to do na. Trust me, they will start missing each other and when they finally get to hang out, it will be like a new relationship.

Ok. If you say so.
Re: So This Is Marriage? by MIKOLOWISKA: 2:41pm On Apr 12, 2021
Seun:
What makes a person the right partner?
the one that will not be asking such question
Re: So This Is Marriage? by meobizy(f): 2:48pm On Apr 12, 2021
Last I remember, monkeys learned from observation. If as a human being you can’t learn from afar what marriage entails then the fault is yours. I’ve seen too many people — both newly wedded and old in the institution — fall out over meager issues. Add to that the constant silent treatment and rejection of food over petty quarrels. Many people you see celebrating each other both in real life and on media can’t stand one another’s presence in the privacy of their home. Stay wise. If someone suggests that I get married based on my age and wisdom, I don’t believe they have my best interest at heart. Why should I take heed the matrimonial advice of someone who has failed in the construct for the third time running? I guess there are many who don’t believe one doesn’t need children and partners to stay happy.

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by Ekugbeh(m): 3:57pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:
Now, I'm scared.

ive actually seen this happen in so many homes and it's the men that first start dousing the fire of love in marriage. They'll start by going to viewing centers or a friend's place to watch soccer, leaving the woman all alone at home. Before you know it, the gap is formed. The Interest in each other drops and you begin to see yourselves as siblings or biz partners.

It sucks.
because I got married I shouldn't wash champions league again. I leave my girl in the house to wash league matches joor. And she understands even wen she frowns at it, I always try to make it up with her
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Solidkay(m): 4:11pm On Apr 12, 2021
Bilabong:
Too long


Summarize pls

if e hard you to read this wonderful write-up, leaves me wondering how you take write your 500words essay in your waec
Re: So This Is Marriage? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 4:28pm On Apr 12, 2021
pansophist:
As far as I know, it's usually women that have such delusions about marriage, hardly men. Men sees marriage for what it is, as an institution of responsibility, with little incentive as in the past, especially with the kind of women we have now. A woman only "show up" in marriages, but men have to pay bride price, sponsor the ceremony, and more till he drop dead. This is why I have not married my darling Uyai.

Meanwhile, women sees marriage as a place of bliss, enjoyment and an ego boost, changing her status to Mrs. Little wonder they go for well to do men. Its not coincidental that in weddings, women are jubilating more than men, I would if was a woman. Ask the average man, they are scared and many don't even want to marry, this is not the same for women. Women want it.



So, when will you be ready for me finally? 2020 what? You know I can't keep waiting, my prince. wink
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Nobody: 4:38pm On Apr 12, 2021
Goldbw122:
That is why if you want to marry, please marry your friends so that it would be fun, this love texting, sex, communication will be sweet, so that is it is supposed to be, marriage is sweet, and forgiveness is really and highly require in marriage, because you need to be mature and maturity comes with understanding...
which friend? Friend or no friend challenges must come don't be foolish.
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Ryan03(f): 4:46pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:
Now, I'm scared.

ive actually seen this happen in so many homes and it's the men that first start dousing the fire of love in marriage. They'll start by going to viewing centers or a friend's place to watch soccer, leaving the woman all alone at home. Before you know it, the gap is formed. The Interest in each other drops and you begin to see yourselves as siblings or biz partners.

It sucks.
not always the men. Some women soon turn their phones to second husband. after attending to children, they occupy their selves with their phones while neglecting the man
For some of them, it is zee world, it eats up whatever little time they have left. What do you expect the man to do when they start acting like he is disturbing each time he demands their attention?
Re: So This Is Marriage? by JTCHI: 4:56pm On Apr 12, 2021
Still reading ���
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Pelxmiye(m): 5:00pm On Apr 12, 2021
AsherAmari:


You just keep saying follow him follow him.. I once follow an ex to a viewing center but he couldn't concentrate because his whole focus and attention was on me while I devour my plate of pepper soup. I'm sure if I had asked him what was scores, he wouldn't have been able to tell me... hahahahaaa so what's the point following him when he won't concentrate and I'm a kind a person that likes my man's attention 100%.

Anyways, I'll kukuma settle for an introvert like me. I can shout.

So I should come and die on top your matter ,abi? shocked shocked shocked
Re: So This Is Marriage? by Nobody: 5:09pm On Apr 12, 2021
Ryan03:
not always the men. Some women soon turn their phones to second husband. after attending to children, they occupy their selves with their phones while neglecting the man
For some of them, it is zee world, it eats up whatever little time they have left. What do you expect the man to do when they start acting like he is disturbing each time he demands their attention?

Well... I admit it goes both ways though but the men are always the first to start.

It good to strike a balance like everyone has said. In as much as you men want to be free to do as you wish, try to be there for her and don't abandon her altogether or
treat her like a piece of furniture.
Re: So This Is Marriage? by robosky02(m): 5:11pm On Apr 12, 2021
Seun:
What makes a person the right partner?

In one word


"Adaptability"



The one person that will leave all she or he has known as a way of life or culture and be willing to adapt to you..... From another background.
Forsaking all others and consistently forgive to make the relationship thrive.

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by harmony75: 5:14pm On Apr 12, 2021
I so much believe in marriage when to 2 are determined to make it work �❤ oh you love to be married ��

1 Like

Re: So This Is Marriage? by robosky02(m): 5:14pm On Apr 12, 2021
bmdmix3:
are u married


Do you have a wife material for me?

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