Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,199,806 members, 7,972,885 topics. Date: Friday, 11 October 2024 at 09:35 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start (1031 Views)
I Will Make My Children To Marry At 16 If They Start Misbehaving - Lady / Infidelity: Wives, Mistresses’ Fights Get Messier, Spill To Social Media (pics) / 88-year-old Man Seeks Divorce From 55-year-old Wife Over Infidelity (2) (3) (4)
Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 12:29pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
Preventing Infidelity: How to Stop Affairs Before They Start Affairs, both physical and emotional, are devastating. It is estimated that approximately 46% of men and 25% of women will engage in an extra-marital affair during the lifetime of their marriage. Affairs, both physical and emotional, are devastating. The damage done after the discovery or revelation of an affair can destroy a marriage and family. Rebuilding a relationship after an affair, while certainly possible, can take a long time, and in some cases, may be unattainable. It is generally far better to prevent an affair from happening. Be aware of the danger signs of infidelity. The late Shirley Glass, Ph.D., was among the leading researchers in the field of infidelity. She describes three signs that should indicate to a person that they have crossed a marital boundary, and may be dangerously close to having an affair. 1. Emotional intimacy – Do you find yourself sharing deep thoughts and feelings with a member of the opposite sex? Do you discuss details of your marriage and problems with your partner? Would you not want your spouse to hear what you are saying? 2. Sexual tension – Do you find yourself sexually attracted to another person and imagine being with that person in a romantic way? 3. Secrecy – Do you leave out details of your day because they include spending time with the person you are attracted to? Do you lie to your spouse about this person? Be honest with yourself and your spouse and do not ignore these signs. It is a common myth that only people who are living in an unhappy marriage engage in affairs. This is far from reality. Sometimes, even people in happy marriages can find themselves tempted to become involved with another person outside of the marriage. The best way to prevent infidelity is to mutually “affair proof” your marriage. The following tips may be helpful. It is a common myth that only people who are living in an unhappy marriage engage in affairs. 1. Honor your spouse by honoring your marriage vow of fidelity. Remind yourself daily of the commitment you and your spouse have made to one another. Frame a copy of your wedding vows and hang it someplace where you can see it daily as a gentle reminder of the vows you took. Fidelity is a decision and you and your spouse need to understand that you both intend to practice it. 2. Be aware of infidelity “danger zones.” The workplace and the Internet can be dangerous to your marriage. Many people that engage in affairs meet at work or on-line. Many jobs these days involve traveling, often with male and female colleagues going on business trips together. If there is a person from work that you feel you may develop an attraction for, protect your marriage by not spending time alone with that person. At work, or while traveling, socialize in groups. Be disciplined about your behavior in working relationships. Be careful about drinking alcohol when traveling or at work parties. Do not disclose too much personal information to people at work. If you are having problems in your marriage, discuss this with a counselor not a friend or colleague of the opposite sex. A good rule of thumb in terms of preventing an affair is to ask yourself “would I be doing or saying this if my spouse was here”, if the answer is “no”, then you may be treading into the danger zone of infidelity. On-line relationships can be very dangerous to a marriage. Many marriages today are damaged by “emotional affairs” which occur via email, chat rooms, or other Web-based forums. Having a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex can sometimes lead to an emotional affair. Some indications of an emotional affair include sharing inappropriate or intimate thoughts or personal information, talking in detail about your marriage in a negative way, and keeping the relationship secret from your spouse. An “emotional affair” is often just as devastating to a marriage as a physical affair. In each case, one spouse has turned away from their partner, is being dishonest and is violating trust and honor in the marriage. Prevent on-line affairs by keeping the computer in a shared room such as a family room or kitchen where the screen cannot be hidden from your spouse. Avoid chat rooms and discussing emotional topics, personal or marital problems with people over the Internet. If there is a person from work that you feel you may develop an attraction for, protect your marriage by not spending time alone with that person. Prevent on-line affairs by keeping the computer in a shared room such as a family room or kitchen where the screen cannot be hidden from your spouse. 3. Know yourself and create open lines of communication with your spouse. Honestly assess if you may be vulnerable to an affair. Ask yourself if you are angry with your spouse; you feel resentful; find it hard to communicate; or you feel disconnected. Any of these feelings can make you more susceptible to an affair. Discuss your concerns with your partner, or meet with a couple’s counselor together to learn how to approach difficult subjects. Consider taking a marriage education class that will teach you good communication and conflict management skills. These can give you the skills you and your spouse need to have these conversations. Discuss together how to “affair-proof” your marriage. Find out what your partner is comfortable with in regards to relationships with members of the opposite sex and set guidelines for how each of you will behave in these situations. For example, you may agree that neither of you goes to dinner alone with a colleague while traveling for work. Discuss the boundaries and expectations of your marriage in terms of fidelity. 4. Discuss with your spouse whenever you are feeling attracted to another person. The myth that once we are married we will never be attracted to anyone else can be very damaging and can create a lot of personal feelings of guilt and shame if not expressed. People in happy marriages may occasionally be attracted to someone else. By mutually acknowledging this they can redirect themselves and be reminded of their boundaries and commitment to their marriage. By not discussing these issues, they become “secret” and it becomes easier to get involved in an affair. 5. Make your marriage a priority. Life is very busy and it is easy to get caught up in work and children and other things that consume your time and energy. Many people let their marriage fall lower on the priority list and take their spouse for granted. Set aside daily time to reconnect with your spouse, even if just for a short while. A cup of coffee together in the morning, a time alone to talk in the evening, a weekly lunch date or a walk together after dinner are some simple ways to stay connected. The amount of quiet time together does not have to be huge, but spending 15-20 minutes a day alone together will help to keep your marriage on track. 6. Create a marriage vision. One way to do this is to take some time alone and write a very specific vision of what a great marriage looks like to you. After each partner defines their own vision, they should share this vision with each other Consider taking a marriage education class that will teach you good communication and conflict management skills. Lalasticlala mynd44 www.TwoOfUs.org 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by fergie001: 12:34pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
War Start.....
|
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 12:36pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by fergie001: 12:41pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
robosky02:Who needs the trampoline? Let the rain fall everywhere biko. |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Kriss216: 12:43pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
There's no template on how to Start or Stop affair. 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by efficiencie(m): 12:58pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
@robosky02 forget it...if your nature is not compatible with doing what is right at all times you will almost always fall...it takes right size yansh and boobs and booom bro has forgotten he is married, it takes the right amount of cash, generosity and dick size and boooom sister's knees are knocking each other for another man...for the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh! Stolen waters are insanely sweet and bread eaten in secret can give multiple orgasms...you must be born again to live right conveniently or else you spend the rest of your life contending with the delicious motions of sin until on day you fall like a pack of cards! 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 2:11pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
efficiencie: for the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh! Stolen waters are insanely sweet and bread eaten in secret can give multiple orgasms...you must be born again to live right conveniently or else you spend the rest of your life contending with the delicious motions of sin until on day you fall like a pack of cards! Then you better Be born again now 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Richy4(m): 4:29pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
I'm glad I did not read that number 4 very well....Whoever wrote this wants family civil war...Apply number 4 and u will never hear the end of it
|
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 4:34pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
Richy4: To get it secret is to do yourself more harm You can indirectly say it and that will help you become accountable |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Richy4(m): 4:54pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
robosky02: There are certain things that should be left unsaid buddy....The man or woman that introduced the proverb "let the sleeping dogs lie"...Is not foolish at all...feeling attracted to another woman and not saying it to the Mrs should be on top of the list of certain things that should be left unsaid... To avoid cold war especially in the bedroom,...Throwing it at our face at any given opportunity...and so no......Some might pick grudges with the said woman even when you have not made the intension known to the other woman ...It is dangerous whichever way you look at it.... 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by Bola146(f): 5:02pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
God bless you for this wonderful sermon |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 6:37pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by efficiencie(m): 8:41pm On Jun 11, 2021 |
robosky02: yelz ohh...I totally agree and on that path... |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by mosdii(m): 7:32am On Jun 12, 2021 |
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them 2 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 10:59am On Jun 12, 2021 |
Re: Preventing Infidelity: How To Stop Affairs Before They Start by robosky02(m): 4:18pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Richy4: You are not serious It will only help take the secrecy away |
(1) (Reply)
Is Anything Wrong With Paying Tithe This Way / She Is Not Saying Yes Or No But Always Saying Am Thinking About It.i Propossed To Her For The Past O / .
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 38 |