beautyhd:
You people keep creating issues for yourself.

If you don't want to marry a lady then don't promise her marriage and make her wait for you. 6 good years and now with a baby you suddenly realized that it's not gonna work out.

Some people are even advising you to stay away from her, do you know the heartache she will be going through right now.

Tomorrow we will hear an ex girlfriend killed an intending groom to be and everyone will blame the lady.

Do unto others as you will want them do unto you.

The red flags were always there but she kept on promising change which never came... We just couldn't work out some few fundamental issues.

NengiWIDEtoto:
This is pure wickedness bros, na people like you buhari dey teach in language you will understand.

I guess when a guy wants to quit a relationship he is always to be blamed as to why the relationship didn't work out.

nokspos:
what you need is a space, don't bother telling her anything, just get another apartment, and visit her frequently.

Wicked human

To me, marriage is not a do or die affair but I have questions for you bro
1. Do you promise her marriage? If you do, you better marry that girl before Ogun, amadioha, IFA go kill you.
2. Bro you have to be considerate too, six year no be moi moi, it will take 4 , 5, 6 years to graduate from any university. My brother let the truth be told, you waisted her time and to me its unfair.
3. The son you had together, do you care about him at all?
4. The only advice I will give is that to me, every women is the same so I don't see reason you should leave her for another.

Please reconsider your decision and manage her the way she is, even we that are married, we manage our own women too. I bet you, what you are running away from, you will get times two of it in another woman.

lawrenzooo:

I guess when a guy wants to quit a relationship he is always to be blamed as to why the relationship didn't work out.

why date someone for 6 whole years if you do not plan to have a future with her? On top of that still produced a son out of the relationship. Do you know the number of potential suitors who backed out on seeing she had a guy? Let's tell ourselves the truth this is totally wrong, I'm not in anyway saying the girl is a good girl or something but my point is do not lead someone on for this length of time only to dump her, who will marry her after dumping her?

What kind of fuckery is this? 6 good wasted years and you then discovered that you ain't compatible?

E choke

so your problem is already solved, with time you might fall in love with her again. women capitalizes on what you say for years. she might in turn become a sweet woman , gainfully employed , worked on her body and you start falling in love with her again. just keep your space and distance , call once in a while, get another lady if you want but don't leave the mother of your child to suffer. Ideally men her not created to marry one woman , Christianity messed this thing up for us.

lawrenzooo:

We don't stay together.

lawrenzooo:

If our previous discussions have yeilded fruit maybe just maybe it would have been a different story entirely.

I know right, this one might not yield anything, but be optimistic, it will take time before it yields anything positive

nokspos:
so your problem is already solved, with time you might fall in love with her again. women capitalizes on what you say for years. she might in turn become a sweet woman , gainfully employed , worked on her body and you start falling in love with her again. just keep your space and distance , call once in a while, get another lady if you want but don't leave the mother of your child to suffer. Ideally men her not created to marry one woman , Christianity messed this thing up for us.

Una don come with una idea again, next time personalize that thing. Say Personally men are not created to marry woman not ideally. Nobody wrote down the blueprint of marriage

I pray karma doesnt come calling soon, imagine a whole six years

beautyhd:
You people keep creating issues for yourself.

If you don't want to marry a lady then don't promise her marriage and make her wait for you. 6 good years and now with a baby you suddenly realized that it's not gonna work out.

Some people are even advising you to stay away from her, do you know the heartache she will be going through right now.

Tomorrow we will hear an ex girlfriend killed an intending groom to be and everyone will blame the lady.

Do unto others as you will want them do unto you.

So because a man promise a lady marriage means he can't change his mind if the lady isn't what he wants? Emotional rant

gregyboy:


Nawa for u oo, so because of issues you won leave woman wen u give belle to, who go marry d woman now, shey d issues nor dey wen u dey put ur Longman inside her kontos...

I see you as a very useless sombori


The painful thing is d innocent pikin go suffer the fate of your own decision

But wait oo who you leave d woman for wen go come marry am, ehnn

And even your friends dey tell u make u run without warnings, from your friends advise i can tell you're an irresponsible nuthead

I pity the next lady.... In your life, oga do and run

Oga and fix your relationship and stop being a runaway mofo, to have a dick and money is not all it takes to be a man, you need to still have sense

There is no wa for him. There is no compulsion in a relationship. His happiness is of utmost importance to him, likewise the lady to her.

NengiWIDEtoto:
This is pure wickedness bros, na people like you buhari dey teach in language you will understand.

What is wickedness in someone making his life decision?

dtruth50:
and u think after u end it, d next lady won't be like her? u don't see the signs of ending throughout the years of being together but boom!!! she gave birth and u started seeing those signs? only God will judge u.
Premarital sex is a sin, flee from it especially women. they are at the losing end

Another silly comment. So because the next lady might be worse he should not leave uncomfortable relationship? What if the next lady gives him what he seeks?

HeavenlyCherub:


So it’s after you defiled her and made her a single mom that sense came to you. God punish you and every single man like you who uses another mans daughter.. nonsense

Why will God punish him for deciding what is best for him? WTF do you mean by defilement? Is marriage by force? When a girl fail to do her due diligence before opening her legs or when she fail to exhibit the right attitude, such fate will befall her...
.

Yxwqq:


That you're even considering doing that after 6-years of being with her and having a baby together, is totally ridiculous. You and the people who advised you to do that are equally senseless and cruel.

What is senseless and cruel? Is marriage by force?

@OP Lawrenzooo my advice for you is to evaluate the situation critically and make decision. If continuing with her won't guarantee your peace, TAKE A WALK OUT!

What you owe her at this time is to be a responsible father your the child you both have, and a lover to her (while the relationship lasts). Relationship/Marriage is not by force. Our peace is paramount. Don't allow popular opinion into blackmailing you to take silly decision that is unfavorable to you. Promise to marry or length of relationship isn't a meal ticket to marriage.

Use your brain because when e set na you go face am

lawrenzooo:

Distance is a bit difficult as sometimes we would have to hold work related conversation...

Then u are NOT SERIOUS yet and be getting ready to be the next Ataga and chidinma news in town..U think after 6years with a son and only God know how many abortions then u will just up and leave her like that for who to marry an after one?telling us shit happened along the line?tell us what it was that happened 'ALONG THE LINE' Ogbeni if she didn't cheat on u then u have no right to ditch her now,IF na ur sister or daughter person do this one u go like am?and u want to ruin ur kids life abi let him be a product of a broken home

mardis:
How will you date a lady for good six years even to the extent of producing a child yet you don't want to marry her. Is her character dat bad that you didn't let her go all this while so that she can be available for another guy? You have been enjoying free knacking and other things now you think you can't marry her. How heartless can you be hun? Don't worry karma will definitely pay you a visit

I find it funny when other men ask this type feminine question. Please tell me if she was not also enjoying free penis? Yet she stupidly did not ask him to marry her. Women choose the men that sleep with them but then blame the men when they don't want them, stop thinking like a woman.
It's 100% true that there's always a man disturbing women for marriage but they ignore him for casanova.

May a man date your sister or your future daughters for 6 years or more, impregnate her and dumb her like a pig.

Why didn't you advice her to take anticeptives when una dey do or even go for abortion? So you have messed her life up like this and you want to japa bah?

6 whole years, why did you wait this long? All these while, you didn't see any change and you went ahead with this..

"Raw is sweet yh and why not?! you both are in a committed relationship & there's this mutual trust", these are the excuses but look what happened now, no one is ever prepared for the possible outcome, no one.. If the lady wasn't good enough for you, you should've put your feet down at some point.. Promises, I know our word is our bond but then actions speak louder than voice anytime any day, I'm sure you knew that but you didn't act on it..

If you feel you both have irreconcilable differences then it's okay to cut her loose.. I am not one to "force" a partner on anybody for whatever reasons, we all deserve to be loved, to be valued, to be treated nicely, to be happy, to have peace of mind, to be respected yes we deserve 'em all and as such we should not be a reason for someone's pain, sadness & eternal sorrow..

Have that sit-down discussion with her, talk about it.. The child must be cared for, in every sense of the word.. He's the first for both of you, he didn't ask for all of this so please you both lay down plans, set things straight.. For animosity, I cannot say but what I do know is that she will be hurt, crushed.. Whatever you do, do it right.

I don't blame people like you, I blame the crop of loose girls walking around these days.

My advice to men is this, if you dont like her or love her so, just hit it a few times and go stop hoarding what you wont keep. Unless she changed along the way for worse I see no reason to be unfair to her.

mardis:
How will you date a lady for good six years even to the extent of producing a child yet you don't want to marry her. Is her character dat bad that you didn't let her go all this while so that she can be available for another guy? You have been enjoying free knacking and other things now you think you can't marry her. How heartless can you be hun? Don't worry karma will definitely pay you a visit

Seriously pple like this should be sued!

But then again NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS!

lawrenzooo:
I have been in a relationship with a lady for the last 6 years and last year and the relationship produce a son last year.
As it stands now I don't intend proceeding with marriage as we have had so many issues along the line.
The problem
I intend sitting down with her to have the conversation and discuss the baby's upkeep.
However some people think I should just keep my distance and she would get the message rather than discussing it with her but then again a child is involved that I have to cater for.

You advice would be welcome
Am a bit confused as to how to go about the whole thing.

.
You depleted her stores for good 6years and a child even came out of it.


So, who u Wan leave the vandalized woman for

Issue you have been handling for six years suddenly becomes what you can't. This is unfair because the probability of you getting a wife is way higher than she getting a husband with her being a mother again

.

lawrenzooo:
I have been in a relationship with a lady for the last 6 years and last year and the relationship produce a son last year.
As it stands now I don't intend proceeding with marriage as we have had so many issues along the line.
The problem
I intend sitting down with her to have the conversation and discuss the baby's upkeep.
However some people think I should just keep my distance and she would get the message rather than discussing it with her but then again a child is involved that I have to cater for.

You advice would be welcome
Am a bit confused as to how to go about the whole thing.

You were with her for 6 years, got her pregnant and want to abandon her for who?

Put yourself in her shoes. Don't you consider your action callous. You have devalued her and want to move on. Boy, you are wicked.

Yxwqq:

Him wanting to keep his "distance" without communicating his decision to her and working out arrangements for his child's care, is. In other words, he will just abandon her and the child, hoping she will get the message. If this is how some of y'all behave, then it's no wonder there're many baby mamas in Nigeria. Ridiculous.

Marriage isn't by why force, but it's not after being with someone for not 1 or 2 but 6-years, promising them marriage, knacking and having them carry your child that you'll suddenly realize you don't want to marry them and should that be the case, you're obligated to tell them wassup.

Keeping distance from her doesn't mean not playing his permanent role of being a father to his child. He owes her no obligation or explanation whether legally or morally. If he decides to communicate his exit to her, fine! If otherwise, still fine irrespective of whether he dated her for 6 days or 60 years! Stop sounding emotional...

rooftops:
Issue you have been handling for six years suddenly becomes what you can't. This is unfair because the probability of you getting a wife is way higher than she getting a husband with her being a mother again

So because she has lower chance of marriage he shouldn't follow his happiness? How you people reason amazes me

lawrenzooo:
I have been in a relationship with a lady for the last 6 years and last year and the relationship produce a son last year.
As it stands now I don't intend proceeding with marriage as we have had so many issues along the line.

This is exactly how you people bring curses upon yourselves. If you think you'll get away with this, you're joking.

I also do not understand why ladies allow themselves get pregnant by someone they're not married to. It's a big risk. Above all, a foolish foolish decision.

What happens if he doesn't marry you? You cannot force marriage on anyone, pregnancy or not.

All that said, there's a reward for dumping someone in such manner and I can assure you Op that you wouldn't go scot-free.

AishaYesufu:

Keeping distance from her doesn't mean not playing his permanent role of being a father to his child. He owes her no obligation or explanation whether legally or morally. If he decides to communicate his exit to her, fine! If otherwise, still fine irrespective of whether he dated her for 6 days or 60 years! Stop sounding emotional...

Logic must not be your forte. If he "keeps [his] distance" from her (and not communicate that he doesn't want to proceed with the marriage and by extension, not discuss co-parenting terms with her either), how will he play his role of being a father to his child— sneak into her house to spend time with the baby and give him/her upkeep money? Lol. It's obvious he's going to be an absentee father if he does do what he's considering.

Stop sounding irrational.

YoungBlackRico:
I don't blame people like you, I blame the crop of loose girls walking around these days.

Loose how? What if she loves him? What's the crime in being with someone you love? The only unreasonable thing she did was getting pregnant outside wedlock but how does being with someone for 6 years translate to being loose?

lawrenzooo:

I guess when a guy wants to quit a relationship he is always to be blamed as to why the relationship didn't work out.

Oga, leave her if you want to, no begging. But let me tell you this for sure, you're building your OWN karma. When it comes, which of course would, e go shock you.

You no try at all, let's be honest

lawrenzooo:

We tried our best..

Shut up baby daddy, you don knack finsh u won move, Mtcheew u for nor give am belle


Baby daddy

[s]

Yxwqq:
Logic must not be your forte. If he "keeps [his] distance" from her (and not communicate that he doesn't want to proceed with the marriage and by extension, not discuss co-parenting terms with her either), how will play his role of being a father to his child— sneak into her house to spend time with the baby and give him/her the upkeep money? Lol. It's obvious he's going to be an absentee father if he does do what he's considering.

Stop sounding irrational.

[/s]olodo distance in this context is emotional distance not physical distance.

ezegenigbonine:
To me, marriage is not a do or die affair but I have questions for you bro
1. Do you promise her marriage? If you do, you better marry that girl before Ogun, amadioha, IFA go kill you.
2. Bro you have to be considerate too, six year no be moi moi, it will take 4 , 5, 6 years to graduate from any university. My brother let the truth be told, you waisted her time and to me its unfair.
3. The son you had together, do you care about him at all?
4. The only advice I will give is that to me, every women is the same so I don't see reason you should leave her for another.

Please reconsider your decision and manage her the way she is, even we that are married, we manage our own women too. I bet you, what you are running away from, you will get times two of it in another woman.

Let me answer your questions.
1. I told her when I asked her out in that if things worked out between us we did get married.
2. Yeah I wasted her her time 6 years is a long time and sincerely I regret my action. But two years ago I told her I can't proceed with the relationship but everybody felt four years was too long to let go..
Our parent intervene and she dragged the pastor into the matter with a promise that she did turn a new leaf. I wished I ended everything then.
3. Off course I care about my friend. However a home without peace would not be in his best interest.
4. Thanks for the advice