It is corn eating season already and people are munching on corn cobs everywhere. Similarly, 2023, the year of general elections in Nigeria is getting closer every day and plans for electoral victory are being hatched by interested parties.

You want to be elected by the people into that lucrative public office, don’t you? You want to stand in front of the teeming crowd in the stadium, holding the Holy book in your hand and taking the oath of office, swearing to loot as much as you can within the shortest possible time be a servant of the people and bring peace, prosperity and development throughout your first term in office, don’t you?

But you have a problem, the people do not know you, neither do they trust you. This is mainly because you are far off from them, you are rich and do not mingle with them. But you need their votes and support, you need them to start talking about you and sharing your pictures everywhere.

To get this popularity, you have to start eating corn, maize, ube, abakppa, or whatever name you call it.

For curious reasons, the masses equate eating corn to humility, simplicity and good character, and as a result, would reward any corn eater seeking elective office with their votes.

So select a day to hit the streets in search of corn. It must be a sunny day with clear skies for bright pictures. Put on a casual outfit: a polo and jean would do and walk towards any corn roaster/seller by the roadside and stare at the corn on the grill with a smiley face. You must ensure your camera crew are surrounding you to document your simplicity and the humanitarian act of eating corn. Remember, you are putting up a show to win the 2023 elections in Nigeria.

Note that the corn seller has to be female. The more haggard-looking the corn seller is, the better for you as you would win the hearts of the masses by associating with her.
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If you can find a corn seller with a baby, then excellent! Take the baby from her and hold the baby in your arms. Smile affectionately at it and sing to it while your camera crew click away.

You can go further by taking over the roasting from the woman. Sit on the stool if any or stand beside the grill and cradle the baby with your left arm while you turn over the cobs on the wire mesh. Blow air on the firewood and cough as the smoke and dust enters your eyes and nostrils… That’s it, you are suffering alongside the masses, you feel their pain and they will vote for you.

Ensure you take enough photos with the corn cob in your mouth and ensure that the photos are quickly shared on social media with the caption:

Continue reading: https://leritude.com/how-to-win-the-2023-elections-in-nigeria-using-the-corn-eating-strategy/

Chia u have made my day bro

I'm going to share this with Buhari, so he can win a third term as President