@ pansophist ; Dpsychologist ; CaveAdullam ; Theundercover ; GLYCOLYSISS ; chalantmike
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i honourably mention you here sir's.
pls bear with my cheer voluminous questions.
i wanted it to be more personal, but it will be more advantageous this way.
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thank you for your upcoming contributions.

reading through your posts is an eye opener. you are all an embodiment of wisdom. you're indeed a rare gem.

how i wish everyone could get access to all your posts in this forum. it is loaded. as in, you are highly cerebral!
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pls, i will need some advice from you all which i will write in the subsequent posts below.

1. firstly, ur posts reveal that u are a product of 'vast' reading.
i also wish i understand life better like you are. i wish i'm wise and intelligent as you.
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pls, can you recommend to me the self-help books that you normally read. though i've read some works of robert greene and some other authors, but i still don't feel they cover much aspect like you did.
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what i observed in these books is that they don't cover every facets of life. some may talk about business while others will talk abt relationship, some finance, and some spirituality, and d genres goes endless. so i feel uncomfortable getting hold of d right ones. as in they are not all rounder.
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pls reveal to me the "all rounders". as in books dat explicitly explain some major facets of life.
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note: i'm an avid reader and i can read any book dat u recommend to me.

2. now, i will love to bring you closer to my personal life.
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i am such a product of bad environment that breeds me up to become a beta-male, a simp, an introvert and an extremely shy guy with a low self-esteem. this is nt a product of 'gene' as my parents are extrovert.
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the most influncial of these enviromental factor is religion(born and raised in DEEPERLIFE precisely). it took very long to realise that i've been indoctrinated to be a simp and not a 'HOLY BRO' as it's called in the religious sphere.
(i was sort of this 'holiness' bro with baggy dress and innocent look. a nice guy indeed)
though, stammering when i was a child contributed to my introvertness too(i no more stammer).
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so, immediately i left sec school nd my parent environment. i change church and i began self development. though it's slow, bt experience sigificance changes.
i learned d hardways, but it keeps developing my experience.
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thank God 4 your redpill thread, i ws indeed a simp and amateur in relationship. i've learned

3. so, i started to man-up myself. i become bolder. as in, better than before.
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as for now i'm more extrovert than i was years back.
though the growth is a continous journey, i believe i will get there.
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as in formerly, i wasn't sociable most esp among strangers and girls. but now i'm quite better.
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lol, it wasn't funny that i didn't have a girlfriend not even a female friend till i left sec school, all due to religious dogmas.
but this very act damage my relationship and interaction with female at large then. as in, i can't stand/sit admist female not to talk of conversing with them. too bad indeed. but i wouldn't have my self to blame neither would i blame anyone. the past is gone!
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from experience and what i've read, i observe(predict) that if i don't develop myself. i will have alot to suffer in future. as in, it's gonna hinder me succeeding cos i was so weak!

4. But here are few instances that i'm facing which are beyond my control and didn't make my personal development smooter.
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but at first, lemme give you some hints.
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*i'm currenty 24yr
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*well, i could say i'm partially a late maturer.
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*i just started growing beards this year, though i have a very thick voice and mature facial look. though i have moustache since my teenage.
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*i'm bit below average height, though not so that short.
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*i'm neither thin or fat(just like the body shape of wizkid)
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*i'm naturally fit. even without gyming, i still maintain muscular arm and chest.
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*i just have a good posture, except for the so called "relative" shortness.
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*a mech engineering fresher in a fed uni.
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now my problem is this...(below)

5.
i often see guys taller than me and having beard as being older than me. even if i am way older than them. thereby having the compulsion to respect them and greet them first.(u will understand me better).
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i have this form of inferiority complex and envy when ever am with a tall guy.
i have the fear to talk to them as my mate. even if they are my junior.
i often feel cheated by nature(lol). why must i be so inferior to talk to my mate or junior cos they are tall.
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but i find it easier to form rapport with ppl of my size or shorter.
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though i blame this due to my lateness to enroll in higher institution. though due to reasons. bt thank God.
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though what ppl rever about me is my academic brilliancy. it's a top notch!(not proud'ing' though).

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now my problem is that i don't have the cognitive ability to recongnise those younger than me. in asmuch as u have beared. i will just assume dat u are older, and then i will feel obliged to respect you.
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in common senerios, if am on a seat, say in our house or a public place, and i see a tall guy passing near me. i will feel obliged to greet him. even if he's my junior junior. if i don't do so, i won't have a rest of mind!
even if d case is reversed and a tall guy is on a seat, and am passing by, i wil greet first to free my mind!
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and the funniest thing is that d tall guys hardly pay respect to me. they just walk and pass buy like am a persona non-grata. eventhough am way older than them.
i felt pained whenever i observe this. i don't know why.
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even in d worst case, i fear to talk to them without using 'sir' or ("eeh" as a yoruba boy).
u knw as a yoruba, there are words use to talk to elder. as in u cnt talk to elder just like u talk to ur mate.

7.
pls note: when i refer to "tall guys", i mean strangers. not actually my close friends.
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and finally i can't interact with girls of my age i.e 24yrs.
i often see them as older and mature than me(if i actually don't knw their age yet) , and i am always afraid to have a convo with them.
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well, this all boils down to culture again, as a yoruba guy talking with a lady you perceive older than you have to be done reverentially, as in u talk to her in respect(same applies to guys too).
so this make i difficult to make a friendly conversation with a girl which i perceive is older even though i may be older than her.(note: am also refering to stranger here)
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to explain better, i only feel comfortable to interract with girls 5/6 yrs YOUNGER than me cos i perceive them as my age mate.
not my fault though. and am never a pedophile.
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ladies(stranger) disregard/disrespect on me is the worst. as in, they can snub!
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though, i've been in relationship, though not serious/succesful.
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8.
most time, i would have use 'ma' while addressing a girl younger than me, until ppl tell their real age.
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if i feel inferior to guys, how dare do i feel inferior to girls too? it's absurd, i need to reprogramme myself!
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though, talking about dressing. i dress simple as for now. wear neat simple dress, not compared to what most guys are wearing as trending fashion. i have my hair in low cut. no real trendy dress as for now.
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THOUGH I'M NOT PHYSICALLY ABUSED COS I'M STRONG AND WIRY. so people rarely engage in fight with me.
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but that apart, what can i do? i believe d problem is in my "mind".
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n.b: i'm not the egoistic type, pls no 'moniker' should ask me dat "do i want to eat greetings or respect"? as the manner of some.

pls, for the moniker i will honourably mention, i'll need your contribution too.
i'm sorry for the long post, though, i don't intend it to be so that long.bt bear with me.
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your response won't be for i only, bt for d thousands of shorts guys, lowself esteem guy out there in the world. thank u for ur upcoming contributions.
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u can give ans to any segment since i have 8 segments here.
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Theundercover ; pansophist ; Dpsychologist ; caveAdullam ; GLYCOLYSISS;
chalantmike

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lalasticlacla ; seun

Chai, this is loaded. I'll be back. Make I rush cook egusi soup

But you could have sent me an email. It's on my profile. Either way, it's all good.

pansophist:
Chai, this is loaded. I'll be back. Make I rush cook egusi soup

you're welcome boss.
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i will love to have a taste of your soup(lol)

Before you comment here, abeg no tell am to go and make money, this isn't a "money matter."

Now before one of my bosses @pansophist comments on this post after cooking his delicious meal, I just have a couple of things to say.

Books:
Books will only give you the guidelines to follow, but it won't give you the confidence and energy needed to implement it. Only you can find this power and build it and this comes from continuous practising and determination. If you have various tools but still don't know how to use them, it would be as though you still don't have any. Implementation of knowledge is far superior than acquiring the knowledge itself. No one was born an alpha or a simp, the environment, how you were brought and what you're used to is what determines this.

Some books I can recommend are Robert Greene's, Rollo Tomassi's, and some threads on Nairaland like HARDDON's thread on Dating Drills. Some books on dating hacks and communication skills too might help. I'm sure it will go a long way, but in all, always remember, it requires continuous practice. Rejection is nothing and it's always better than regret.

On physical appearance:
How you view yourself is having an impact on your psychological state. You have to remove this mindset. You're projecting how you view yourself towards the other party and this is putting a dent on your self confidence. Remember, how you accord yourself is how people will accord you.

And also I think you having difficulties in interacting with both parties might be a sign of autism or should I say the reason behind this was how you were brought up? It's hard to tell really. Autism makes people unwilling or unable to be social and they might also find it difficult to hold a conversation, you can research more on this. If you know what usually cause this anxiety in you, then you can solve the problem.

Confidence:
I think you just need to start interacting more. Don't view yourself as inferior. Even if you have a stature to complement your age and you feel inferior with it, it will still affect your self confidence. If you've seen the TV series called Peaky Blinders, even though Arthur Shelby was the eldest, people still accord Thomas Shelby with more respect and also see him superior to Arthur because of the aura the younger one emanates. This is just how it is with the human nature also.

Continue working on yourself. Take care of yourself, dress well, groom well, wear nice perfume, and also control your anxiety. Know the rules of body language i.e. eye contact, body posture etcetera. Learn to start and hold a conversation, you can also practice privately, with time the anxiety you always have when interacting socially will be eliminated slowly.

It's really good having this conversation with you. I wish you all the best.

Hmmm. Religion don almost destroy u. Well, there's hope since u are willing to work towards change.

pansophist:
Chai, this is loaded. I'll be back. Make I rush cook egusi soup

But you could have sent me an email. It's on my profile. Either way, it's all good.

pls, we are still expecting your contribution.

brb

Op no get wetin hin dey tink

Ishilove:
Op no get wetin hin dey tink

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as in?
don't engage words with me pls.
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what shall it profit me if i "get wetin i dey think" and loose my emotional and relationship intelligence?

atom080:

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as in?
don't engage words with me pls.

Pussy cat, don't flatter yourself
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what shall it profit me if i "get wetin i dey think" and loose my emotional and relationship intelligence?

You will grow up... Eventually

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atom080:

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but when will i grow? @24 already.
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well, i adapt easily to changes and advice if i see any. that is why i put my mind up there.
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i am of the type that can easily apply what i read.
that is what works for me.
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and i observed that in the journey to my personal growth, reading has transformed and help me alot.

You need to interact offline more. You can't overcome shyness or low self esteem by reading a book.

Ishilove:

Pussy cat, don't flatter yourself
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You will grow up... Eventually

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sorry o mr pastor. you came up the other time justifying the sack of a pastor, yet you come here to call a man in God's image a "pussy cat". well you only have issue with the creator.
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and so true were the words of christ when he said that they are "wolf in sheep clothing".
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pls respect yourself, if you can't advice, don't derail my thread.
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and by the way this thread is not meant for the religious fanatics.
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kindly go to the religious section and go and be proving "holy holy"
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peace unto you!

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@ theundercover . thanks for your contribuuion sir. . i went to that HARDDON thread, it's was expository! . thank you much!

atom080:

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sorry o mr pastor. you came up the other time justifying the sack of a pastor, yet you come here to call a man in God's image a "pussy cat". well you only have issue with the creator.
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and so true were the words of christ when he said that they are "wolf in sheep clothing".
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pls respect yourself, if you can't advice, don't derail my thread.
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and by the way this thread is not meant for the religious fanatics.
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kindly go to the religious section and go and be proving "holy holy"
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peace unto you!

Very good. Now it is time to carry this razor mouth offline instead of coming online to write epistles. Go and practice with your mates instead of answering your juniors 'sir'. If you can run your gutter mouth like this when you logout, we will be spared the poorly written long story you are subjecting us to.

It is on Nairaland that agama lizards transform to crocodiles. Shior.

Ishilove:

Very good. Now it is time to carry this razor mouth offline instead of coming online to write epistles. Go and practice with your mates instead of answering your juniors 'sir'. If you can run your gutter mouth like this when you logout, we will be spared the poorly written long story you are subjecting us to.

It is on Nairaland that agama lizards transform to crocodiles. Shior.

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God bless you my pastor.
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well you can insult me till next decade, but i promise not to ever stoop too low to reply you back with insult.
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pls for christ's sake, don't reply me again!
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i accord my respect to you now pls reciprocate it back.
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God bless!

Tohsynetita1:
brb

you're wlcm boss