Uduak the pussy destroyer. I like your guts, keep it coming PASTOR pikin.

Carterj007:
Thanks for the update. You dy date werey as girlfriend.

I weak oooo

adajid209:
Uduak the pussy destroyer. I like your guts, keep it coming PASTOR pikin

I see you bruh...

Shegzdave:
Uduak my Man
Thanks for the update..

You're welcome bruh....

Biko biko, tell me Zuzi collected?

Kudos man

These are things you warned her about

WAACUT:
Kudos man

PraisesPblaze:
These are things you warned her about

I swear bruh

Olatoman:
Biko biko, tell me Zuzi collected?

Hahahahahaha, the next chapter shall tell ..

The next chapter go hot be that. PLEASE help me book sit.

Cylovee:
The next chapter go hot be that. PLEASE help me book sit.

Next chapter don done sir ...

~~~THIRTY~EIGHT~~~
"Zuzi, what did you do?"

"I delete pictures from My boyfriend phone." She replied proudly.


You know those moments where you dey dive enter person for slow motion. My own na for my mind I do am, she seemed to fragile, too innocent to lay my hands on. I could squeeze life out of her that moment.

I don't take pictures, my personal pictures no even reach twenty. So most of my pictures na by force I dey snap them, not to talk of the ones with babes, some of them wey I no go ever see for my life again, I felt so bitter.

"Zuzi, get out of my house."

I should have been pummeling her that moment but I have one rule, I don't hit people except they hit me first, this doesn't applies to some parties though.


The icy tone in my voice was enough to show her that I was already on the brink of destruction so she grabbed her purse and rushed out. I was shaking like a vibrator so I took two sticks of dope and went out to a lonely spot.

I was already calm just listening to soothing music while blowing my dope, the jungle wey I siddon, na only me dey there so I plugged my two ears and blasted music away.

I was about lighting a cigarette when bushes Infront of me shuffled,I thought it was my cruise at first but then it happen again,I quickly removed my earpiece, my heart began pounding as the familiar stench of cattle hit my nose.

The first thing that came to my mind were killer herdsmen, mehn, naso your boy go die? But then you're reading this story which is not yet completed so it shows that I survived right?

My heart was beating like mad but then incredibly I didn't stop smoking either, I sure wasn't ready for my end na why I no bother pray any last prayer, my pact with God didn't involve dying in the bush like a bush rat, so even though my heart was tearing up, I was sure that day wasn't gonna be my last.


A curious kid of not more than 17 was the only one tending to the cows, we eyed ourselves suspiciously, his hand caressing his cutlass absentmindedly while watching me keenly. My gaze didn't shift from his even for a second.


I swear I never meet anybody wey don defeat me for eye staring contest before, but that day, I met my match, but then I noticed something, he was the one actually scared of me cause he kept chasing any cow that came near me.

We kept looking at ourselves, finally I greeted him in Hausa language and waved, he shyly waved back.

I had two satchets of pure water with me, so I raised one to him and spoke to him to come get it, he slowly walked forward, staring around to be sure I was alone.

He gulped the water like gold, I had to add the second one for him, he filled his water bottle and handed the rest back.

He asked for my lighter and brought out a stick of Oris. I encouraged him to sit down, as he did, I unplugged my earpiece and searched for my naija music folder, then played it loud as I passed him the second stick of dope with me.

He was super greatful and a cheerful dude also. His zero potency in English and my inability to communicate fluently in Hausa language didn't spoil our cruise, a ganja man is always a ganja man, no matter the background.

I can understand Hausa perfectly but to speak am back na work, na so so cut and join I go dey do.

The dude inquired about my foot when he noticed me pressing out the pus, I managed to tell him wetin happen, he searched his side bag and brought out a weird looking powder tied in a small white Leather and asked me to apply it on the spot before I slept, I thanked him as he stood up to leave after awhile.


As soon as he left, I took to my heels, them no dey telli person two times o, if you know, you know...

A strange number hit me as soon as I got home. As soon as I picked, a loud annoying female voice blasted into my ear drums.

I kept quiet till she ranted finish before I quietly asked. "Abeg who dey talk? And why you dey para?"

The person broke into another long rant, thanks to my cruise, I was hearing nothing and using the call to catch cruise join until I heard Zuzi's name, naso my attention return.


"Yes, why are you shouting at me? What's your problem?" I screamed.


The person was stunned for some seconds, she finally calm down and talked to me in the language that I could understand. Hahaha.


"I'm sorry for shouting at you Peter, I'm ********* Zuzi's friend. She came back home crying, and refusing to eat, when she finally spoke, she said you chased her out of your house just because she deleted pictures that you took with another girl. I was mad, that's why I was shouting when I called."

Now you might be wondering why I didn't interrupt the rubbish that I was hearing, that was because I was choking in laughter and shaking my head and by the way, I was enjoying the rubbish that I was hearing.

."Okay ma'am, is that all that she told you? That she deleted only pictures I took with another girl? Wait, lemme ask you first, who has the phone? She help me buy am? Why she think say she go fit delete things inside?"


"Peter, no reason am, she's in love. You know love makes us do weird things. Please forgive her." The girl replied soberly. "She has been crying since she came back, she said she won't eat until she sees you."


"Madam, that one no be my problem, whether she eats or not doesn't concern me. My own be say, if she wants me to forgive her, she should go and undelete my pictures. Then we would be back as normal."




"C'mon Peter, e never reach impossible matters na. She's really sorry, you know she's fragile, she could fall sick if she keeps crying and starving herself like this. Please God said we should forgive ooo."


"Okay stop the sentimental bullshit, she suppose reason all this things before deleting my pictures, pictures are memories for God's sake, it takes a sadist to do what she did...."


"She's not a sadist, Peter, na love dey shack her...."


"I'm not her first boyfriend, please don't go there. I don't like saying bad things about people, or else I'll have blasted her, but eh, since na forgiveness una want, I'll want Zuzi and I to go on a month break, by then her body for don calm down."




"One month, what Peter....."


I abruptly cut the call and threw my phone on the bed, that felt good. My phone soon started ringing but then I was too stoned to care, I just watched the phone ring as I drifted into unconsciousness.



I woke up with a jerk around 7pm, Collins was the one that actually jerked me awake.


"Haba, you no go sleep in the night again. Come chop jare. And by the way, your phone just dey ring since, abeg who you kidnap?." He said laughing as he stepped out.


I had an amazing 92 missed calls from assorted strange numbers, be like all of them use their entire lines to bombard my phone.

As I dey shake my head, dey scroll down, another call enter. Talk of the devil, Zuzi was the caller.

"How can I help you?"


"Babe...... Babe..... I'm sorry....." The long epilogue of tears kept breaking her words into atoms, the matter just weak me but I was planning to be joyless for as long as I could hold it.


"Did my friend not give you my message? You either miraculously return back my pictures or we go one one month break. And please don't disturb my phone. I don't blacklist people's numbers, don't be my first." I warned sternly and abruptly cut the call.


She knew better not to call again. I heave a sigh of relief and started undressing. As I emptied my pocket, I noticed the powder given to me by the Fulani dude.

I thought of throwing it away but heck, what the hell. We only live once biko, I changed into shorts and went to take my bath.


Collins was waiting for the gist. I unloaded it to him while eating, he spent more time laughing than listening to me, I was glad that someone found my predicament laugh worthy, he immediately rushed to download the gist to the corpers, as per CNN wey him be, yeye pikin.



As I made to sleep, I remembered the powder again, I prayed and sprayed it on my affected foot.

The sting was out of this world, I was dancing makossa on my bed, I should have rushed to go wash it but that leg was unmovable, every little movements sent shock waves of pain through my body. I just bite my pillow and tried to stand the pain like the OG that I was.

I didn't have the Fulani guy's time yet, I'll curse him when I wake up the next morning. Fortunately, I slept off again.


The next morning I woke up in a maze, everything just seemed weird. I step off my bed and walked into the parlour, Collins was already up, I greeted him and passed to go get water cause I was feeling really thirsty for some reasons unknown.


I then passed to go get my toothbrush, that was when I noticed Collins looking at me strangely. I ignored him and entered my room, when I got back out to get cup he was still looking at me strangely.

"Baba wetin dey sup? My forehead dey shine?" I asked.


"Omor you never notice am?"



"Notice wetin?" I quizzed.


"You no dey stagger since you wake up?"

"Wait, what?" I asked, then I looked down, I was actually standing upright on both foot, before I dey usually balance all my weight on my right foot and hang my left foot to relive pressure but here I was standing without feeling a thing.


My left leg was completely dead, it was just moving out of impulse, I could actually stab that leg and wouldn't feel shit. What was more amazing was that my leg had completely dried up.

I was like, what the fuckkkkkkk........ I felt amazing, I immediately put call to my doctor to Inform her that my leg has finally stopped dripping, so phase two of treatment can now commence, she didn't believe me at first, cause I was atleast a month off schedule, she set a meeting for that evening.



As I cut the call, a strange number called me. I had a strange feeling about it but I picked the call nonetheless, nothing could spoil my day or so I thought.....




"Peter please don't cut the call. It's Zuzi's friend, please Peter forgive this girl, I'm begging. She has refused to eat since yesterday. Throughout the night she had been crying and Calling your name in her sleep. Please Peter, even if you won't forgive her, just come and convince her to eat. Please, find it in your heart....."





"Babe, it's okay, calm down. Make una cook indomie with enough egg and tbe rest, I'm coming." I said calmly and cut the call.






Remember I said nothing fit spoil my joy that day. In as much as I'll have found more joy blasting the hell out of the girl that called me, I just reason am, shebi she wants me to be the boyfriend, I was so gonna grant her wish .....


Hey, shebi the Initial plan was to gold dig her.... Who say men don't gold dig? Well, I'm a proud ex- gold digger or so I thought....

Hahahahahahahaha...

Nice one bro
I love this

Following back to back

Therock5555:
~~~THIRTY~~~
I was laying on my bed one evening surfing the Internet when Collins entered my room and sat next to me.

"Wetin dey happen? Please don't tell me you're still hungry again." I teased him.


"Baba I no fit chop sef, my problems pass food." He replied, sadness clouding his voice.

I quickly sat up. This matter serious o, sotey Collins reject food. I need to hear this matter with all seriousness.


"So what's happening?"

"Guy, my babe get belly."


"Whaaaaaaat? Which of them?" I was grinning broadly.


"Guy stop joking, how many girls I get? Na Becky I dey talk about johr." He spat out.


My smile didn't erase, I knew he was talking about Becky but I wanted to pull his legs small.

"Congratulations ooo. So how did it happen?" I teased.


"See guy, I no dey joke. This matter serious o, her parents know already."


"Ehhhhhhh!" That last line sent alarm bells ringing, Parents know already? How? Why? What happened?


"Wait o, dude start from the beginning, cause right now I just confuse. How belly reach stage wey parents know? How come you didn't tell me since?" I screamed.


"Na just this week she tell me, I been tell her say wetin she want, Becky say she wan pack come stay with me, and you know I still get final semester for school, where I wan see money from?"





"Wait, what? She wan come stay with you, and eat what? We wey dey strategize how to chop each day, baba which kind wahala be that?"



"That's not even the worse part, I told her she can't live with me just yet, naso she carry the matter go tell her folks. Them call me yesterday, I went over, her parents begin question me, I told them that I'm responsible but not capable of fathering a child now, naso them say them must see my people first make we reach agreement."




"Jeez, omor this is wahala pro max. So how you wan do am?" I asked.


"Na why I come meet you nah, shebi you know say I no fit allow my uncles know about the matter, and I noticed say your guys get matured faces Wella, them fit pass as my uncles, I tell her parents say I dey bring my people next tomorrow, so abeg you fit help me?"






"Bleep No bruh, when you were fucking anyhow, you no consult me o, na now wey matter cast Nai you know say I exist, why didn't you ask me for advice when she told you she was pregnant?"



I was fuming but the begging increased till I agreed to help him.

"Wait o, shebi you know say this one na job, my guys go need small chilling later o, so how we wan do with expenses now?"


"Leave that one to me, I go give you 3k make una use chill after we settle everything, atleast una go manage na." Collins replied, he was already getting his swagger back.

As he spoke, my mouth was open with shock. Like seriously? This is the same person that asked me for #100 that morning to buy Maggi, where he wan see 3k from? Like he read my mind, he left and returned with 3 crispy 1k notes and laid them next to me.



"Ahhh, so you get this kind money? Dude, you're a bastard." I said as I snatched the money.


As per the evil genius wey I be, I begin compile my first eleven list, 8 of the guys were confirmed hits, one of them na married man sef, he was to be the spokesperson, it took small convincing but almost all of them owe me a favor so they were down for what so ever.




On the D-Day, everybody gathered in Collins place. I noticed one dressing code amongst them, everyone wore native wears, guess what your boy wore?


I wore crazy jeans with a Manchester United Jersey. Hahahaha, naso them chase me Like fowl make I go find native wear.

I came out looking like 70 years old man, like literally.....


We rehearsed the whole plan again. Collins wanted to use kukere method to disbar the belly, all we had to do was to convince her parents that we were committed to the cause and hopes all things work out good.



Naso formation land for Becky house. Becky and her two younger sisters were already waiting outside.

She avoided my eyes as she greeted us, the rest of the guys were strange faces so she didn't suspect foul play, naso she bend down dey greet men them.


Collins would be like, Uncle James this is my babe. The yeye boys go throw am one wicked comment to show disdain for what both of them did. Their acting was almost Oscar worthy. I was trying hard not to laugh cause I knew that seventy percent of them there were high as Bleep...


We finally walked into a laid bare big parlour, two long sofas facing themselves at both ends of the wall was the only furniture in the room what so ever. The walls weren't even plastered inside, neither was the floor, it wasn't cemented, just rough cementing with lots of sand than cement.

The place smelled fouly, like chicken shit, pee, human poo and another foul smell that made my heart sank, we were looking at ourselves in confusion.

I'm not understanding. What's really happening, why were we led into a delapitated room? Abi them wan use us do ritual? Cause I doubt humans beings suppose live for there.

By the way, is it punishment for what Collins did, that we had to be brought there for nose torture, my eyes were already turninoninon.

I'm sure I was not the only one lost in fantasy land, my guys mind would have been running 4-40 right now. I turned to the only person that could answer all my questions.




Now note that all the above things I stated were in my thoughts, I had scanned the whole room in seconds as soon as we walked in, so I turned to Becky who was right behind me, on cue she began speaking, answering all our questions in one sentence.



"Welcome to my parent's house. Please make yourself comfortable, lemme go and call them, they are inside."


I painfully swallowed saliva as she walked away, the joke wasn't on me, it was on Collins. Like seriously? Na from this kind background Nai him go get babe. Babe wey dey dress like say dirty no dey touch her, so na for this kind place she dey comot from. I weak for Collins.


Funny enough, everybody was too shocked to even think of doing anything else, like a spell was cast on us, we matched slowly to one sofa. The sofa had seen zillions of better days, I didn't know if to sit on my hands or just stand, but as I notice everybody dey chop liver siddon and the sofa no collapse, I jejely balance for the arm rest, incase of incasity I fit jump off.




I observe everybody faces, I don't know if their bulging agonising faces was out of pure anger and hatred for Collins and to a lesser amount, myself cause as per agent, I suppose go spy location before I accept job but I guess the joy of finally chopping Collins money was too good to let by.

Or na the smell wey make them choke. They had to contort their faces in the most miserable look ever so that the Intake of fresh air would be constricted, make e dey enter slowly. Like me I was breathing oxygen like four times a minute, then hold my breath or stylishly chuck nose for my armpit dey inhale my perfume, the guy next to me was inhaling my other armpit, e better pass normal air.







This might sound really funny right now. But I swear, it wasn't funny one bit, all of us were coordinating ourselves, we were just waiting for one person to dash outside and the rest would join, but nobody moved an inch. I don't know but for some strange reasons, everyone wanted to see how this would end.

Collins unsurprisingly was the only one enjoying himself, he had swipe out his phone and was playing Zuma and grinning.



Ehhhhhhh!!!


Like his nose has double filter abi wetin dey happen. As I was still processing information, two small chicks ran in from the back door, boldly walked in between our legs, searching for food, we just sat transfixed, one of the chick shit for center of the room before they went outside to continue their hustle for food.


We were looking at ourselves like, is this for real. I was almost thinking of getting up and leading the charge out when I heard movement from the other room, we all stared at the door for seconds that seemed like hours before four people emerged.


Becky, her younger sister, her Mum and Dad.


My jaw dropped. I had to look at others to be sure I wasn't over reacting, others had their mouth wide open, we forgot all the smell, whether fly enter my mouth that moment, I no for close am.

I turn to look at Collins, he was the only person that was unperturbed. He was sliding his phone back into his breast pocket and standing up.......








My heart sank.... This is not what I came for.... No..... Fucking No.....

This your story make me remember when dem suspend me and my friends for secondary school, them kon say make we call our parents come school come sign undertaken when the suspension elapse. And none of us tell anybody for house say we chop suspension for school. We dey comot house for morning go game center with uniform or we go put uniform for bag.

Na the onile of the game center i carry go as my papa when the suspension elapse. All of us rent people drop 1k each. Lol

Shegzy8:

place your right hand on your head and let your voice roar like a mad man and repeat after me. These month heardsmen shall not cut my right bombom[begin to pray].

I shall live long to read and complete uncle Therock5555 story.

Lastly, Common sense locate me by fire.

Go and sin no more.

Cylovee:
place your right hand on your head and let your voice roar like a mad man and repeat after me. These month heardsmen shall not cut my right bombom[begin to pray].

I shall live long to read and complete uncle Therock5555 story.

Lastly, Common sense locate me by fire.

Go and sin no more.

Omor you no get joy, hahahahaha



Update don done ooo

~~~THIRTY~NINE~~~
I knew that the onslaught from Zuzi's friend would be alittle too much for me so I called two wing men, Francis and Victor.


Zuzi's lodge was located in an environment so covered with trees that bike men rarely takes anybody through there, you'll have to trek for an extra five to ten minutes just to reach her lodge.

On the way I updated my guys about happenings, surprisingly both of them took Zuzi's side. I was stupified. Francis was telling me that I have a rare opportunity and I'm mishandling things.


Victor said he would have personally deleted more pictures in solidarity if Zuzi had done same to him. I knew the battle was lost even before I reach her house.

Francis entered the compound first, Zuzi friends were outside, I had informed the person that kept picking Zuzi's phone that I was coming, Zuzi had locked herself in one room alone and wouldn't speak to anybody.

When I entered with Victor, Everybody body weak. My body weak cause I know say na kukere Waka I show, her friends weak for my squad, my squad weak as them see fine babes, naso them free me begin tackle the babes.


"She's in the room, go meet her." One of the friend informed me.

"Arrange the indomie come, I'll handle things." I said as I left my guys in their company.

I knocked softly and called out her name, the door snapped open in seconds. She hugged me tight as I entered the room, na my shirt come turn towel for her eyes and nose.

I just carry her up go bed, omor her eyes red pass me when I smoke three jumbo tie of SK, she surely had lost weight, she looked souless.

"Babe what kind of punishment are you giving yourself?" I asked out of compassion than concern.

"Shebi you said we should go on a month's break? I'm ready to starve myself till then, cause I can't stand a day without you."


"Babe e never reach that level nah, your friend would bring food and you'll eat. Your parents did not send you to school to die for anybody."



I don't know if it was because I brought her parents into the issue or because I considered myself too common to starve over for but she slipped out of my hand and sat at the far end of the bed, her eyes looking at me menancingly.



"Peter, back home. If my dad comes home and sees me crying, he is ready to turn the whole house upsidedown just to make me happy. So I don't know why you keep treating someone that loves you like trash, why can't you be like my dad and always put a smile on my face? Why my love?"




When she was staring at me icily, I wore a twisted smile but as she spoke, my face went from a smile to a sad face and then rage, just pure boiling rage, the words coming out of her mouth were like fire and daggers to my heart.


"Babe, lemme make something clear to you, you're an only child, I'm from a family of five children, you have everything you need on a platter, I work for everything I want and need. Babe you na princess, me na black goat. You can't compare me to your father. I didn't date you to please you how you want, I've got a life apart from you, who the fuvk are you......"



A loud knock paused my onslaught, fresh tears were pouring out as I spoke to Zuzi, luckily she was saved by the bell(knock). I finally had a grip on myself, damn, I was already slipping out of my mind. I know she's wrong in demanding my outmost attention but then this wasn't the right time to go on a crazy rant, she's in a fragile form for fucksake.

I quietly stood up and went to the door, I forced a smile at her friend who was staring at me angrily, she must have heard my rant, I collected the tray of food, I noticed the two forks and canned soft drinks, I just smile.... While attending to the intruder, I had time to rethink my stance, I needed to play things gently. No need for fawlence...


Zuzi had placed her head on the bed like a Muslim observing prayers. I placed the food on a reading table and walked to her.

"Babe come and eat.."



"Lemme alone. It's not yet one month."




"Ah, na you hungry go kill o, see, o I go enjoy this food alone." I said and dragged the food to the bed so that the aroma would pepper her, she slowly rolled over and laid facing the a wall.

I placed the food back on the table and laid down next to her, I drew circles on her neck gently, none of us spoke for a minute, she didn't waste the opportunity, immediately she turned, she kissed me, I was unresponsive for some seconds but then I was like what the hell? I grabbed her closer.






"Oya let's it, infact I'm feeding you." I cooed, she stifled a smile and weakly sat up. I got up, carried the food back to bed, placed it in front of her and then walked behind her and sat down.

I reached from under her arm and started feeding her slowly. I managed to survive the many romantic gestures, see sometimes it doesn't hurt to be a simp at times. Even though you don't like it, consider your partner. Na small simp I do, I no kill person.




We came out gisting, her smile was like the morning sun. Something in me knew that I have done well.

"Babe, I need to start treatment later today, I just dey reason how to raise small cash o. Anyway atleast I don solve your problem, now make I go reason my life." I said as we walked to the other room where our squad were. I had earlier gisted her of my previous day happenings.

She excused herself and went back to the room we came out from, she joined me after some minutes. Jumped on my back and asked me to take her to the other room.

I just shook my head and lifted her higher. Her friends were screaming in joy as we walked in. I swear the shout dey like the one wey people shout as Jesus wake him friend Lazarus from death. I'm sure na the person wey Lazarus dey owe money go dey scream the loudest.

"Thank you Jesus, Thank you Master Jesus...."




My stupid friends were even reluctant to leave, them dey beg me to go continue with Zuzi cause they were having fun, just being in the company of beautiful women was like a dream come true for Francis.

I left them and started leaving with Zuzi, the rest of the gang trughed behind us. As the turned to walk back, Zuzi placed something in my hand and kissed me. I quickly pocketed my hand.


I no go tell una how much, but the cash had been grinning like it was my 99th birthday party....





My stupid squad didn't even care to find out how I finish with Zuzi, them just dey gist me of her friends, them collect two of the girls number, and Francis wouldn't stop gushing.... Me sef just dey smile in my solace....


My day went even more better when my Doctor confirmed that my leg was ripe for phase two of treatment. But then my jaw drop when I heard billing.

Not just the billing, I had to be coming to her side everyday for rewashing and setting of the leg, I had to change my bandages regularly to avoid infections.


I just smiled and paid for a week's treatment. Atleast make she start, the rest go handle itself.

By the third day, I had perfected knowledge of what she was doing, I could do it myself but the problem were the tools. She gave me a small container filled with white powder that would dry up the sore quickly in-between bandages, the powder na every two weeks I go dey rebuy am.

The matter just choke my brain, but I pay for the first batch. At the end of the week, I took my drugs to a mega drugstore, and found out that I could buy them for 50-70% cheaper than the price the woman was billing me, I bought my drugs in quantities.


Next was how to get the medical apparatus, that was easy for me. I still had some keys with me, one of them was for my dad's school infirmary. Don't ask me why I have keys to first aid room o. Hahaha.



Evening time I stroll enter school, security just greet me trowey face. I go open door, load my pocket with enough bottles of spirit, ink and bandages. Finally took a pair of medical scissors and other stuffs.


God no go shame us......

I don secretly video the woman as she dey treat me, naso I play the video, arrange my tools begin dey loosen the old bandages.....


The woman never saw me again until I got well. See I be science student, my parents school fees can not waste like that, all the frog wey I dey dissect for school nkor, naso I dey dissect my leg dey go.


I repeat.... God no go shame us .....

you are just too good bro.. I introduced this story to my Yankee friend. she loves it but I do bear the suffering of explaining the pidgin aspect of the story and it ain't easy man���

Thanks man. You too much.

Nice one bro

God no go shame us my brother

Everybody dy simp abegi. Redpill na just to nor over simp...
Nice one... Still you Rock

Man everyone simp even animal dey simp.
a cock would dance to have his way some time.

God no go shame us baba

Carterj007:
Thanks man. You too much.

Thanks breh....

Cylovee:
God no go shame us my brother

At all, at all...

Oluwatimi2000:
Nice one bro

Thanks bruh

PraisesPblaze:
Everybody dy simp abegi. Redpill na just to nor over simp...
Nice one... Still you Rock

You couldn't have say it better. Simping is allowed, don't just make it a habit

Abdulreheem:
Man everyone simp even animal dey simp.
a cock would dance to have his way some time.

Hahahaha, this proverb choke..... E sweet my dada....

EAhumble:
you are just too good bro.. I introduced this story to my Yankee friend. she loves it but I do bear the suffering of explaining the pidgin aspect of the story and it ain't easy man���

Hahahahaha, shebi I don try reduce the pidgin, atleast it's less now. Make she read my other stories na. Weldone sir ..

Make I begin cook two updates for una, make una keep una fingers crossed...

~~~FORTY~~~
It is said that give a man a single maize plant to pluck and eat, trust me, tomorrow he'll take another for himself cause he feels that there would be no need for your permission anymore.

Same went for Zuzi. The babe automatically assumed that the fact that I was jobless meant she could see me almost every night, either I go to her place or she comes over.

Thankfully she loved sex with me, I really wasn't thrilled when ever we copulate cause my conscience go just dey worry anyhow. My major problem was the man marking I was receiving.

Well that didn't stop me from trying to correct few things about Zuzi. I was sitting in her room one evening when a co-tenant knocked and entered the room. I noticed the babe holding an extra large mug and spoon.

"Zuzi my mummy, abeg your girl wan drink tea this night."

I open mouth in surprise as old mama like that wey be two times Zuzi's size, Nai she dey call Mummy. I turn to Zuzi to hear reply.


"Okay daughter, check that place. Take as much as you want." Zuzi replied.



I watched as the neighbor went to where her beverages were stored, I was staring at her with side eyes but after the sixth spoon of milk, I had to concentrate on the werey.

I now understood the use of the big mug, I was counting, 8 spoonfuls of milk, 7 spoonfuls of Milo and about half a dozen cube of sugar. I just dey shake my head as the girl stood up, thanked Zuzi and left.


I was silent for awhile, thinking of how to start this heavy matter wey dey choke my heart but then someone knocked again.

Another co-tenant, this time a guy, poke his head into the room, greeted me cheerfully and hailed Zuzi too.

"Mama, I been dey cook and my gas finish, abeg make I use your gas?"


"Go carry am for kitchen." Zuzi said with a sweet innocent smile on her face.

I was already frowning as the guy left. That's it, this one no be charity organizations nah, abi I enter wrong multiverse neh?

"Babe when did you turn mama for this compound?"


"Babe calm down, it's just gas nah. I can easily refill it."


"And your provisions? Did you see how many spoons of milk and Milo that babe put in one cup of tea? E fita serve four people." I inquired.


"So? If it finishes, my dad would send more money to me..."


"Did your father ask you come to school and open charity organization? Babe, do they use to cook on your gas and share their food with you?"


"No. But the Bible said we should help each other in need." She replied.



"That's what I'm trying to tell you babe, they are not in need. No father would send his ward to school without provisions or money, they are saving theirs till your own finish."



"How did you know?"



"How do I fucking know? Babe I don enter street, I've seen life. Okay trust me, for one week, don't buy any provisions, depend on your co-tenants for food and see what would happen.

By the way, if your dad knows that your doing giveaway with your provisions, would he send another to you? Babe that man doesn't pick money on the ground, you better learn how to say No sometimes.

I'm very serious." I warned her.


Another knock interrupted us. I sat quietly facing her while backing the door, the person entered and greeted us both.


"Mama, hope you keep my food for me cause I dey hungry like this."

I turned to look at the dude speaking, he was smiling back at us. I turn to look at Zuzi who was staring back at me fearfully, her lips were trying to form a word but she didn't know how to start. I noticed that her eyes were bending to one corner like she was signalling the guy on what to do without me knowing.

I followed her eyes and saw a big flask near the bed. I turned and looked back at the dude that was still waiting for her to hand over his food, the one that his father sent money to Zuzi's father to send to his daughter to cook for both of them.

"Bros, sorry, she no keep anyone for you, I finished it all. Sorry."


The dude could have gladly strangled me that moment cause his face spoil like three days old amala.

"Eh, Mathew no vex, my boyfriend finish all the food before I could fetch your own. Please go kitchen and carry one spaghetti make you manage this night." Zuzi said.


I turned sharply to stare at her. Like which kind craze babe be this one, after all my advices. The dude went to the kitchen, took a packet of spaghetti and two eggs as bonus. I was shaking my head in digust as he left.



"Babe, go and collect those eggs back. The spaghetti I can allow but you didn't ask him to carry eggs, so go and get it back. Shebi all the talk wey I waste my time talk just waste abi?"


"How would I go and collect the egg back? Is it not two eggs?" She said.



"Oya invite everybody to come carry two each, let's see how many would remain. Babe infact since you start food bank, lemme help myself also."


I stood up and went to search for a big black leather, naso I begin compile provisions, packets of spaghetti, enough sardines, tea materials etc. I even divide her palm oil into two and clear half of her Noddles. Finally I jack the flask of food and add to my collection. Zuzi just say quietly watching me.


"So I dey here and you get liver cook food drop for another guy in the name of friendly neighbor, Mama the mama. Thanks alot for the provisions, atleast my own is better, na you and me go cook am together chop when you come visiting, atleast others dey chop without sharing with you.

And just so you know, this is the last time that I'm coming to your house, cause I can't stand all the rubbish that happened this evening. When you finally have enough sense to maintain your provisions, I can come back. I no dey date senseless chicks, when you start thinking well, come find me at home."




Tears were already pooling up as I walked out with my luggages, mad max style. I no greet nor answer anybody in that compound, I just went out quietly.

Then I remembered that Zuzi was supposed to give me transport to go back. I vex turn go back inside, as I burst into the room, she thought I came for reconciliation, I just remind her say she owe me transport, I pass go her wallet, comot #500, Waka go bed, kiss her for cheek and Waka again......





It's safe to say, when I came back to the house another day, no body neared her room. Something told me that they were pretending cause I was around cause I could feel the hate on their face as I passed them.


Stupid wereys wey dey take advantage of small girls wey get big money......

~~~FORTY~ONE~~~
"Guy you dey house?" Victor asked me on the phone.

As soon as I said yes, he cut the call. After about half an hour, he showed up, a strange girl was following him.

Collins wasn't at home then, Victor introduced the girl as his new chick. I eyed the babe suspiciously and muttered a greeting. He signalled me before taking her to my room then returned later with a roll of dope for me to go flex, he whispered that the babe was his new catch.

I wanted telling him something but he left immediately, I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed my stuffs for jungle activities.

When I stepped outside, I immediately retracted back like a worm that touch salt, I ran back inside and started banging my door.


"Guy abeg free me small nah, I dey busy." Victor's muffled voice said from inside the room.


Hen hen hen..... Shebi I wan yarn this guy urgent matter but him think say na toto be the way, the truth and the life. I just leave am comot again.


My neighbor was sitting outside with her Police man husband, his daughter and granddaughter, all associated with Victor. I just cheerfully greeted them and pass my own. Thank God say them know Victor and Collins pass Victor and Me.


I make sure say I blow two wraps before I remember say make I call Victor to see if him don fuvk finish.

The guy pick call on second ring....

"Baba e no go better for you..." Victor cursed as soon as he picked the call, he sounded like he had been running or was still running.


"Wetin dey happen? Who dey pursue you." I asked calmly, trying to pretend that I didn't know what was going on. Well I didn't, right?


"Why you no tell me say Happy and her parents dey outside?"



"Ohhhhhh, that one, shebi I been knock for door but you say make I free you. How the matter take go?"



"Guy you dey craze, how I wan know? Them catch my babe Sha, I me I run leave her. Shebi you dey go house, maybe drama still dey on. The girl no know my house, so I'm safe."

I no even allow am finish the call, I don cut call begin dey rush go house, this matter no sweet for phone, make I go see as happenings dey go.

People choke outside my house when I arrived, I just carry my hood cover face come dey peep to see wetin dey happen. I noticed Victor new catch kneeling down and shedding heavy tears, swearing to heaven and earth that she just met Victor so she no know him house. Say she think say na him house, Victor carry her come so.


Happy's dad just dey threaten her say if she no talk, police dey come carry her go station. I just jejely sneak enter house go carry key from where to told Victor to drop it, I enter house go call Collins, give am update make him no near house.



Hahahaha, as them drag the matter tire, them see say the babe no get any information, them finally free her, naso grown as babe dey cry dey go house. Me I dey for window dey peep all happenings....



When Collins returned late in the night, I gist am wetin happen, the bros vex no be small. Him go meet the woman the next morning make them settle the matter.


Him clear the woman say Victor came to his house without his knowledge so make them no think say na him encourage Victor to show with babe. The bros made sure I wasn't in the picture at all. As for Victor, na straight ban Collins give am. Him no wan see him shadow near that house sef....




After some days, Collins informed me that he was leaving for school, say him go stay with one guy for off campus, so the house is mine now. Make I no do anyhow.


I didn't really understood what he meant by the house is mine now until them bring NEPA bill come when he don go. As I dey see the bill, naso my legs dey shake.


The bill was usually divided into two, the other tenants(Happy's family) paid half, while the other half was paid by Collins and I, the two Corpers just contribute about 1k to our share.

I called Collins to ask for his share, the bros told me that it was now my responsibility, say him no dey stay for the house again so na me go handle bills alone. I just weak.


And that moment, I no get shi shi for body. But na me ginger everybody to pay quickly make I go pay for AEDC office.

I cheerfully carry the money without my share and went to pay. Unknown to them, I had one church member there who is a staff, me and the guy don dey play packages since when I dey my parents house. Na him dey supply me steady wires when ever him boys come cut my wire for house, then I no dey pay bill, na to chill, if them cut am, in the night, I go climb pole go fix another one.



By then the dude na big man already for the office so I called him and went to see him in his office, I yarn am wetin dey happen, he smiled and collected the money and pocketed it, then called a junior staff to go pay the bill and bring my receipt.

Him no give the guy any money, but the guy brought receipt and came back. I just dey smile like cat.

The man say when ever I wan pay bill, make I come meet am. I just dey nod my head dey thank am.




Trust me, I make sure say I comot my own share from the rent before I give am say na wetin I fit raise that month, him pocket the money and I received my receipt.....

I don tell am say I dey stay alone and I no dey work, him see my leg, na why him believe my lamba if I give am any amount.

As for Collins, his reward is in heaven...


Wait o, the man pocket fit be their bank o, hmmm, what do I know. Please can an Ex-NEPA staff try to explain?

Any one?? Even if you be boy boy for office, care to send your input? Or am I writing to myself? Or AEDC staffs no dey read stories? What am I even saying?

*Offs Mic* ......

Guy abeg. Tell of say zuzi change abeg. I hate such giveaway stupidity.

Thanks for the updates.

Keep rocking bro

We 9ija student wey be rat na im this gal no won learn.
back then wey i be jeje c for campus my friend dey ask ab weting u cook but any time i go their house i no go meet food , i change my eaing time tabe hahahaaah.