Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

In threads like this, check the comments from people and know how to reply, cos not everyone is out there seeing women in bad light.. Don't make a joke out of a serious discussion...

FriendsAndFans:

The answer to your question is obvious.
Money is a tool to control, a wife will hardly want to disrespect you when she knows you hold a value of control over her needs

Don't mind the guy, I decided to stop replying him cos he is forcing me to accept his position without considering the fact that I'm talking from experience.
My problem with his comments is how they may influence a gullible fellow go and deep his hands in fire.

dobnina:

Thank you for this beautiful piece. The problem is the people with strong coconut head, they will read and still make the same mistake.

Thanks sis,

Some of comments up there is making me laugh, there is a big difference between dating and marriage. This is how people will be pushing you to get married but once you bring the woman home, you will be on your own. Not even biological parents can be there for you 24/7.

Klass99:


Lol , that wasn't my intention at all.

But, the matter na common sense something naah, no need to argue or debate the issue.

It's common sense to suspend marriage plans when you don't have a reliable or stable income source.

And I hate the pretentious attitude and reactions we tend to have about money. E.g like when you have a job interview and you are told not to answer the salary question truthfully but instead freestyle bullshit, with BS answers to that question.

Our lives revolve around the making, spending and saving of money, so why this constant narrative that it (money) doesn't matter or it's not a necessity for a good life?

I didn't bother reading the thread which gave birth to this counter one, the moment I saw the topic of that thread I was like, this one nah nonsense and ingredients talk.

And the thread was created by a lady o

Some people thinking use to shock me

u re right in some way..

what about a case, where the lady is not getting younger (>28yr) and she has spent the last 2-3yrs with u..

what will u still advise the man?

What works and doesn't work for you does not in anyway implies it would be for everyone.


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Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

Bro u are a lady but I won't tell anybody

The most annoying thing about this marriage of a thing is una no get money and una go dey born like 6children with the most 2years difference

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Hmmmm

MrBrownJay1:
all you people are looking at marriage with a failed vision.... you dont need money to get married, marriage is just an extention of a r/ship sealed by a useless piece of paper....if you guys were broke and could date happily, then there is no reason why you couldnt get married and still be happy. the problem here is that all you people are thinking that a broke couple should do exactly the same thing as one with money, while the couple with little money needs to ADAPT TO THEIR SITUATION until they have enough money to care for a family (aka children etc)

a lot of people are quick to call a man/woman broke because they only have money to take care of their own needs, but the reality is that there are many people who are broke because they paid their rent, put food in the fridge and paid their bills etc. if 2 broke people join hands, then they can EASILY live happily ever after (so long as they dont try to add to their family). so a broke married couple needs to take contraception, need to cut their coat according to their situation and they need to work towards getting a better life situation in order to have kids etc

it takes money for a single person to take care of their basic need... its called LIFE and everyone should be able to take care of their basic needs before thinking of marriage, same for married ones. you dont need "more" money to get married than the money you each had to take care of your basic needs, if your spouse cant/couldnt take care of their basic needs then you shouldnt get married and that person should sort that part of their lives 1st before thinking of getting married, as they are a LIABILITY

as for your hustle statement, no wonder so many men fail in marriage when they think that having money to take care of a liability is the solution to their problem....a liability is a LIABILITY whether you bring more money to the table or not.

Since I joined in 2010 or so this your comment is one of the most sensible , reasonable comment I have ever seen. Nice one bro u understand life ehn

It is not

That it didn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others. Marriage has a way of unlocking blessings to the couple involved. Also, it is partnership for life. Thus, when you you marry a woman whose thinking aligns with yours, you can do exploit. Remember that two good heads are better than one.


Also, you don't have to write your union off. You and madam should go back to the drawing board and trace where the problems are from, make necessary adjustments and see how things would turn out for good.

udoji2021:


Thanks

So what should a married man do when his finances enters struggling mode later in the marriage...??

Divorce his wife??

May God continue to bless you OP
I have been preaching this for years but deluded folks keep believing that c*rap that blessings come when you marry

please if you're not financially okay, don't get married, there're many children out there suffering because of this, don't bring another innocent child into this world to come and suffer, please I take God beg unna.

Please support the work of my hand, I will develop a business management software for you at a very affordable price.

At this rate, every Mallam with im kettle.

Marry kee u there

It is well.

If you never stable, don't marry irrespective of your age.. Na people wey dey hurry you, go use your laugh

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Dude, d same way d other thread generalised, is d same way u are generalising. U even contradicted urself by giving ur personal experience of ur wife who was faithful to u despite pressure from outside. These things aren't cast in stone or strictly black & white. It might work for some people, it might not work for some people. Some ladies can manage, some ladies can't manage. Some guys with money might not even attract good ladies with all their wealth. It's just life. If u find a good lady who gets down with u, thank God. It does not necessarily mean it's universal

So far the income is steady

Low income is better than no job at all

Couples should learn to cut their clothes according to their cloth

Lol whalala for who jump first

Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

How many have you destroyed?

Anyone wey you like do.
No basic way to live.
Pray for luck in whatever you do.
Some decades ago,wey I dey single, nai e hard pass when I arrange wives put for house.

Let everyone follow his or her mind. Our glory is different from each others. What you are rejecting is actually working well for others. Just follow your dream and believe in Christ alone.

I made that mistake and I really felt it

I don't advice it as well