True love is a term people have coined in order to distinguish between shallow emotions and love. However, I am not here to talk about terminology. I am here to address this matter properly. Please if you don't agree with me, you can express your opinion here on this post or you can DM me on [url]repostam.com[/url] @infoboy. Your opinion is welcome. What I am about to say will not come appealing to everyone but it is however true.

I remember my last days as a student in Europe. I happened to have schooled in a country that possed extremely sexy and beautiful women. These women did no surgery, nor did they put on excessive makeup yet these girls were like real-life Barbie dolls. Their voice was extremely seductive and their blue eyes were capable of charming any man. This was like living in a state of constant temptation for 4 years ( I stayed in Europe for about 4 years and 6 months ).

One faithful Sunday I was climbing the stairs of the gallery...and this girl called Danuto was standing there in the gallery. Our eyes jammed. She smiled. I was ravished. It was love at first sight! Now I was in trouble. Why? As a typical Naija boy, I made up my mind to marry a Naija babe. I wanted a pretty yet well-behaved black Naija babe. So I was pretty clear about what I wanted. I was attracted to black skin the way my other classmates were attracted to white skin. So how come was I ravished by that smile? I quickly ran downstairs, trying to run away from my emotions. Deep down I knew something was wrong but I could not lay my fingers on it.

So what could it be? Was it infatuation? Probably! Could I help it? Maybe. To make the matter worse the girl followed me. She was herself "in love" with me already. I tried to avoid this girl. I would go up to the gallery during weekdays to play the organ, and lo and behold this girl would be there. One day, I was there alone, and she came up to me and was thanking me for playing the organ for them. She started rubbing her breast on my body in a manner that did not seem intentional but was meant to make me feel her feminine side. She accompanied that with a pat on the back. A naive person would have totally assumed that she was just being an innocent girl. She looked so innocent. Apparently, she was. There is no way I could know that. However, I managed to control myself and greeted her in a gentle and "brotherly" manner pretending not to have been affected by the electricity. For weeks I battled this temptation. Here was I in my final year, very close to returning to Naija and marrying my dream girl. "Which kind of temptation be this one?", I said to myself. Then a gentle voice inside me said "Stop running! Ask her for her age!". I stopped running indeed and decided to face the goliath.

I was in the gallery again when she came up to me and started talking to me. I immediately asked her for her age pretending to be genuinely interested. Of course, Oyinbo no Sabi lie. She told me her age immediately, and lo and behold! She was a minor! Omo, I quickly made the sign of the cross ( any person who has been to Europe knows what I am insinuating. To avoid minors in Europe is to run away from trouble ). Sharp, sharp, my love at first sight vanished!

The question here is: was this love in the first place? If it was love, I should have waited for her to come of age. If it was the love, I would not be with my dream Naija woman now.

I have long forgotten about Danuto and her charming eyes. This is the story of many. A lot has fallen victim to infatuation. The object of their love has been based on superficial things. They have not really accessed their desires and judged their intentions. They have become prey to their feelings. They have let their feelings be the judge. Their feelings have dominated their sense of judgment.

I will address both genders equally. Men often fall prey to their feelings, the moment they let their eyes dictate for them. A pretty girl with hips and huge breasts never passes a group of men without the assurance of turned necks. Why? Because men are attracted by what they see. But we know that the most dangerous thing to do is to be attracted by what you see alone. Say, for example, you see a very appetizing burger. You immediately start to salivate and quickly forget that burger is nothing but junk food and could lead to health issues if taken in excess. It is amazing to see men make lifelong decisions based on looks alone. You meet this figure 8 woman and you immediately begin to fantasize about marrying her. You forthwith imagine that she would make a good wife, even before knowing her name! And the most annoying thing is that God in one way or the other will use a friend or relative to warn you about your infatuation but you would still go ahead.
Some of these men don't even know how to attract women ( I will write about this topic of attraction, seduction, toasting, and how to make a man or woman fall for you effortlessly later on here on nairaland on [url]repostam.com[/url] , so stay tuned ).

So they go brandishing their wealth before these women. And what usually follows is heartbreak. Then they suddenly adopt a new philosophy claiming that True love does not exist. Whereas they were the architect of their own problem and there was no love involved in the first place. It was their feelings that have led them to heartbreak.

Women are hypergamous by nature, that is to say, women want to marry a man they perceive to be of high quality. Hence a lot of girls imagine that if a guy is rich ( i.e having lots of money ) then the man must be a man of quality. They imagine that if he is externally confident, then he is a potential good husband. This confirmation bias even gets worse, when the man begins to tell them what they want to hear. Without any investigation on their part, without questions or prayers or even mere observation, they jump into a relationship with the hope of tieing the knot some time "soon". They don't even bother to know the man's intentions or if his intentions are genuine, they just jump right in. ( Women, your case is so complex that I cannot address all your potential questions here but in case you need my specific advice on your current situation, you can DM me on [url]repostam.com[/url] @infoboy. I am not a self-acclaimed relationship "expert" but I can guarantee you I know way lot about women and also men than you can imagine. I was born and raised by a psychologist and a scientist, and also studied with religious monks who taught me ancient wisdom which I would be glad to share with you. Teaching you some of the signs you should look out for in order to distinguish honest men and good men from time wasters. And by the way, I don't charge for my advice hence I can't guarantee that I will answer everyone. I have a full-time career that consumes most of my time. I do this for fun when I have time. I love writing and teaching ).

So women are easily carried away by their emotions. This leads to a lot of catastrophe down the road. When their heart becomes broken, they quickly console themselves by saying that all men are the same and that all men prefer sex to love. They also imagine that all men are cheats and come to the false conclusion that there is no true love. This is their way of coping with disaster. They put up high walls around them and simply chose to settle for less. They give up totally about finding a good man while assuming that there are no good men. They rejoice anytime they hear that a man fell into temptation. They are on the lookout for heartbreaks. They begin to rejoice in disaster only. When they hear that a 20 years marriage ended, they jump in pure excitement and shout: "I said it! All men are the same!". Their confirmation bias blinds them to the extent that they exhaust their chances of meeting good men. They fill themselves with negativity. And if eventually, they marry, they are on the lookout for the slightest reason why the marriage won't work. Marrying such women is like a time bomb waiting to happen. If only these women would step out of their mindset and see the beauty in the world God has made, they would realize how limited their beliefs are!

I will make another post some other time. For now, my time is up. For an immediate response and a free one-on-one advice, Follow me and chat me on [url]repostam.com[/url] @infoboy.