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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? (5168 Views)
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Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Ohyinyeah: 9:32am On Aug 24, 2021 |
�♂️ �♂️ MEN �♂️ �♂️ You see almost 80% of men who suffer loneliness and rejection at old age today is as the result of the wickedness meted on their wives in the past , she will endure you at young age because of her kids but once they grow up , she releases her long awaited revenge , she goes for Omugwo and lives you at home and sometimes most women , especially the ones that go to their kids abroad don’t usually come back and woe betide you if those kids saw you maltreat their mum . They will keep their mum with them and be sending you money for upkeep. One of the major things that takes your wife away from you is cheating. Umu Nwanyi has grown thick skin towards their hubby abuses, meanwhile Nwoke will be dancing that he has put her in her place ����, Nna listen to this ;you are living with wounded lioness and you need serious prayers for Divine intervention and please thread with serious caution while you wait for that divine intervention . So many women today are no more having sexual relationships with their husband anymore because they don't want to die of diseases, they just issue you a certificate of cheating (COC ��) , I guess it is a degree honor��,And you they issued the degree is happy, Chaiii Ekwensu egwugo gi Chandum!!, now my question is this , who will contact all sorts of Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD), HIV, AIDS etc Nna another question I have for you is this , how long will you flirt with women??. Nna you see eeeh,A time will come, when you cannot climb a woman ,even if she is naked before you, some men are already on this table even at this their young age�♀️ . Nna a time will come when you cannot drive yourself in that latest car,�♀️ Nna a time comes when you cannot go to club because Anuta agbogho, etufuo agadi �♀️�♀️. Nna a time comes when you prefer to wear a simple T-shirt than that designers in Your closet because ego maintenance adirozi�♀️�♀️. Nna a time might come when you just want to be at home watching TV with your wife, kids or grand kids and by then your wife’s love and care has travelled to Malaysia or Kuala Lumpu ebe ife na eme �♀️�♀️. Nna a time will come when things that matters now become so tasteless for you and those your ladies you preferred over your wife agago iru with other men . Nna a time will come when that money that you used to intimidate your wife and boxed her to a corner and did all the cheating , can't buy you happiness and at this time Nwanne all you need is to have your loved ones around you ,Mana you know what ? This is the time when most women remember all you did to them. Nwannem I am not here to tell you to stop cheating or don’t cheat , you can continue tasting different soups INUGO. Afterall many of you said that Variety is the spice of life !! A woman never forgets cheating ,So Jisike and be blabbing of how you will deal with your wife if she cheats on you , you should also not cheat on her . So many of you will not like this post and so many will come here and say ‘what of women who cheat ‘, nwanne I am not here to discuss but if you like you can read the post and interpret it up side down na you sabi �♀️��. When a man refused to reciprocate your love as his wife ,Don't kill yourself just transfer the love to your children and sit down to wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow must surly come . Please you can correct all the grammatical error yourself Nekwanu mic � jide . �♂️�♂️�♂️�♂️ 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Romanoff(f): 10:03am On Aug 24, 2021 |
I actually read through your entire post and realize most of what you put there is the truth. Men who maltreat their wives don't know that the children are watching. Men who are dead beat fathers that let their wives train the kids don't realize the kids are watching. Men who sleep around and their children know don't realize that the silence of their wives and children is not due to stupidity. I've seen many of such men abandoned in old age and learned not to judge or lay blames on the children. These days, you will see people type on social media "Na papa wey do us well we go take care of for old age" or "Na papa wey treat us well we go give befitting burial". If you're not ready for marriage, don't marry, marriage is for responsible people. A responsible man who is willing to be faithful to one woman and take care of his family. 34 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by mrsteel: 11:07am On Aug 24, 2021 |
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Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by mrsteel: 11:14am On Aug 24, 2021 |
Romanoff:If a man decide to stay faithful to one woman, that is his own cup of tea & shouldn't be use as standard to decide if a man is ready for marriage. If a man decides to marry more than two women & take care of his family, are u saying such a man is not ready for marriage? If u are woman, a man decide to stay faithful to only u, then lucky u! Guess the man below wasn't ready for marriage according to u? 10 Likes
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Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by otipoju(m): 11:53am On Aug 24, 2021 |
As you labor hard to take care of your wife and children...do not forget to invest for your old age. There is no guarantee that your children will reciprocate the sacrifices you made. Women also use that period to poison the children's mind against their father.( they are very good at this) A lot of women dont have the capacity to love....they calculate. If the man is not of any benefit to them in the present , or does not have the potential of being of any benefit to them in the future, they will throw him in the dustbin. Na men dey fall in love. Wise up and enjoy your time on earth doing whatever it is you love doing. 30 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Nobody: 12:06pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
![]() I always hear some women threatening their hubby with old age to deal with them when that time comes. One day, I asked. Why do you have to endure all the suffering in your youth instead of moving out and doing something useful with your life, just to get back at him in old age? And she was like, "shey now, he's doing bobo bobo" but when that time comes he'll need her to take care of him but she'll make him suffer neglect by abandoning him. I was like .. hmm.. Men, be wise as this is a very common thing we see happening and many young women are still making that threat. Stop with the "guy-yoyo" you're forming for your wife so that she doesn't abandon you when you need her the most. Nuf said. 7 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 12:07pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
otipoju: I am sure you have seen fathers well taken care of at old age (when they are no longer 'useful' financially). Instead of repeating redpill teachings that don't make sense, do an actual analysis around you. Women don't love ![]() I am sure the terrible stories littered in this family section from husbands to wives and the demonic posts from fellow men are actually women in disguise. Instead of men to step up and be better fathers and husbands, they keep whining when they get the result of their handiwork in their younger years. You cannot sow the wind and not expect to reap the whirlwind. Good fathers all over are reaping the fruit of their labour and have wives & children always excited to be with them. @OP: Let them keep whining instead of stepping up their fatherhood and husbandry game. 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Arsenate(m): 12:17pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
otipoju:This can't be stated enough. Men, save; invest for your old selves. Higher chances you will be abandoned by the same people you made sacrifices for in your youth. Worse still, you'll be blamed for that. You'll be accused of failing to "bond" with your kids, which, let's face it, is a luxury most men can't afford with the harsh economic realities. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by ImaIma1(f): 12:21pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Too much igbo for different audience. I remember like 2yrs back, a friend's babe had to travel to the village to take care of her dad who had recently gone blind. Her mum was alive but the father had sent the mum away and married a younger wife. The younger wife left the man and he had to fall back on his children. The babe was advised to go back to Lagos and live her life and not waste it caring for the father in the village. The children had to come together to pay someone to care for him. On the other hand, my mum and all of us were there for my dad for 7yrs of stroke before he passed. He was a typical family man. Took my mum out on company dinners, outings, etc. She sacrificed her time and health for 7yrs for him. So I can relate. Consequences are waiting in front. 32 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Redpillar(m): 12:25pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
After spending all your youth doing boyoyo and claiming men are polygamous in nature, you return to your virtuous wife in retirement. Woman that didn’t enjoy you when you were healthy and energetic, you na want her to spend her own retirement nursing your failing health? Smh! ![]() 28 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by descarado: 12:47pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
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Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by RightToReject(m): 12:55pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Nothing can be more ironical and appalling than seeing articles portraying women, who have been known to be the weaker vessel, as the more scrupulous of the two genders. Given that, as the weaker vessel, they are both more susceptible and involved in immorality than men, the assertions in an article like this that state that there are more women victims of marital abuse/neglect between spouses than men are nonsensical. It's a fact that 89% of the time, women are the cause of marital problems in homes having spousal issues - realistically, they are; notionally, they aren't. Well, as much as I will continue doubting the veracity of the public claim that most men are usually abandoned at old age by their children; yet, I know for a fact that where such happens, 89% of the time, it stems from the pure inherent wickedness of the women involved - every proponent of hypergamy has inherent marital wickedness in them - which usually manifests fully when in an advantageous position than as a result of the neglect/abuse they suffered in the hands of their male partners in the past, and of course, together with ignorance/feeble-mindedness of the partaking children in the unjust injustice against their fathers. Every man living with a woman who believes in hypergamy or married him on that basis has a frenemy living with him, just as every woman living with a man who believes in women subjugation has a frenemy living with her. It is just a question of time and opportunity before the proponent rears their ugly head. 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by otipoju(m): 1:09pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
bukatyne: I dont base my assessment on nairaland stories. I form my opinion based on real life observations and personal experiences. Very few women are selfless. All their goodness and niceness always come with hidden strings attached and often times men will not those see those strings until it is way toooo late....and they have become entwined and unable to extricate themselves without being labelled as an evil person. Its not a hatred game as we still have to live with them regardless! Knowing not to expect love from women is the liberating beginning of wisdom and happiness. Nature that programmed one of a man's deepest need as " Respect " knew what it was doing. 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Arsenate(m): 1:45pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
RightToReject:Some of us know this perfectly well and only ignorant and naive men will believe the women on this thread. Really laughable their efforts in trying to have everyone believe that men deserve such ill treatments in their old age simply because they engaged in some "boyoyo", "guy-yoyo" in their youth. (Whatever the fckkc these mean ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by ImaIma1(f): 2:17pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
otipoju: If you invest love and time in your children, nobody can turn their hearts against you. Children are that simple. A man cannot live his life carelessly and think that providing school fees and feeding money is enough to build a bond. A woman will work just like the man and contribute money also, and still find time to bond with the children. It's not rocket science. It's simple cause and effect. A man that comes to say the mum poisoned the children against him has a big fault there. He has an equal chance with his wife to bond with his children. 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by kay9(m): 2:21pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
I personally think the topic itself is flawed. Being treated "bad" in old age is not restricted to men. In fact, more women actually suffer this than men. Go to any village - ANY village at all - and check for yourself. I think the reason for the false impression that men suffer it more is because of our society in this part of the world - men are identified with power, so when the frailty that comes with old age starts, it seems like a bigger downfall than when compared with women. Yes, there are plenty stories of men who weren't kind to their families being abandoned at old age. But there are also plenty stories also of women being treated the same. In other words, please take that gender-biased tale and shove it somewhere the sun don't shine. As for tales of women jetting off to live with their grown children while the man stays back alone, the truth is not many men will accept to go and live under their child's roof. Both of my grandfathers refused to do so. Maybe for a few weeks, yeah, but leaving your own house to go live permanently with a child you raised because you are now old? ![]() 22 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by ImaIma1(f): 2:28pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Arsenate: This is just an excuse men create to get out of doing the right thing. I know a family where the woman is the busier one; a banker in one of the top banks. The husband's jobbis more flexible and gives him more free time and is home more. But guess what?! The woman is still closer to their child. He leaves the child with the help and hangs out with friends. The woman's free time is spent more with the child. That man will grow old and say his children are closer to their mum than him. Paying school fees is not sacrifice for the children you brought into the world. 16 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Redpillar(m): 2:39pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
bukatyne: Thank you. Better still, rather than whining, they can start from taking care of their old fathers and uncles. Are they not the sons to these neglected old men? Resign your jobs and go stay with them in the village or bring them to live with you in the city. ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by mariahAngel(f): 2:44pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
kay9: I very much, very much like your contribution! Especially the latter part of it. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Redpillar(m): 2:57pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Arsenate: Yea right. They never have time to bond with their kids, but they have the time to sit at bars drinking small stout and pepper snail. They also have time to keep numerous side chicks. Tell them to help with the kids, they will become very busy and tired. Tiri gbosa for Nijiriyan men. ![]() 12 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:10pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
otipoju: 1. I also do real life observations and most of the fathers who complain of neglect were bad fathers & husbands. 2. Selflessness is not a very common human trait. Men and women would always do goodness with strings attached. (either expecting the person/karma to repay, expecting their wards to reap the benefits, in fulfillment of God's commandments etc. Even in the Bible, 'goodness and obedience' is always rewarded.; God even told us to 'Love our neighbors as we love ourselves.' So oga, men are not more 'selfless' than women. While men and women may have unique character traits, selflessness/selfishness is not one of them. 3. I don't see it as hatred game. If you don't expect love from your woman or the women in your family did not love the men, it is your loss. Day in, day out, men are enjoying the love of good women around them. 4. If you cannot intepret what is clear in my signature, how would I take you seriously? Mbok, read my signature again and take out the last line. And to address your point, everyone MUST prove themselves worthy of respect and loveable at all things. @ prove, I don't mean money because that's the only thing an average "Nigerian" man/husband thinks he has to offer. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Arsenate(m): 3:12pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
ImaIma1:You really think it's just an excuse and that there are no men who genuinely want to spend time with their children but their jobs just don't afford them such opportunities? Your minds seem made up and you guys are always eager to project few examples (like the one you cited) to all men. Apparently, women find it hard to empathize with men and relate with their struggles. Knowing this, I'll rather just look out for myself and I also advise other men to do the same; save and invest for your old selves. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Arsenate(m): 3:18pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Redpillar:You guys with your almost annoying knack for projecting some men's lifestyle onto all men. |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by Redpillar(m): 3:25pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Arsenate: Women also work 9-5s. Wherever it is that most Nijiriyan men work, women work there too. Yet these women are expected to cook, clean and attend to their busy husbands. Cut off the time you spend with Chidinma Ojukwus and go home early! 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:26pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Arsenate: @bold: Excuse!, excuses!! excuses!!! You guys should learn how to be intentional about parenting like mothers. A mother would go to work and still find time to bond with her children. I know someone who got home very late at a former job and bought a diary for her daughter. The daughter would summarize her day with concerns and the mother would respond either when she comes back or on her way out the next morning. Naturally, they would discuss whatever was required over the weekend. She also took the daughter to the saloon, market, friend's place etc. to bond. If you do not sleep at the place of work 24 hours 7 days in a week, you can do much more than a financial sperm donor to your kids. Take them to barbing saloon with you, ask them what they learnt at school, after church/mosque ask them to summary the lessons they learnt on your way home, take an interest in their homework, the subject you know teach them yourself, once in a while take them all to the kitchen and cook/concort something, be available when they want to discuss life issues. Have enough presence/influence in their lives that they will always say 'my daddy said; my daddy thinks' etc. Lead them by example: don't lie, treat their mother with genuine love and affection, let them know you as a person of integrity, lead them in prayers, be interested in their welfare, provide emotional, spiritual, mental and social support. Train them, set appropriate boundaries then discipline them in love when they err with the aim of correction. Let them feel safe and protected when they remember you as their father. Stop saying 'go to your mother, let me rest/I am tired' when they come excited to engage you. Even if you are an atheist, pass on whatever morals you want them to have. Know their likes, dislikes and preferences. Be approachable, teach them the life skills you know (how to repairs things/paint/polish shoes/fishing/farming/electrical works/trade/gist them about your job etc.) I DELIBRATELY LISTED THINGS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE MONEY. Don't be a third party relying on your wife to translate your love/annoyance to them. How would she be able to 'poison them against you' when you have a relationship with them? ![]() I remember a scene I was blessed to witness and I have said it here several times: A keke driver drove his kids around the street on a fine Saturday morning to bond with them. Do you know the snacks they had? The akara their mother fried at home. And they were freaking happy. Back then, the man would not spend more than N1k to fuel the keke for that trip and prepare the akara. 26 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:28pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Redpillar: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:30pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Arsenate: @bold: And women don't work these jobs yet make time to bond with their kids? Or the men work 24 * 7 and practically do NOTHING ELSE apart from work? @last paragraph: Both genders find it hard to empathize with each other ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by ImaIma1(f): 3:31pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Arsenate: Fortunately, there are also women in that busy organization who bond with their children. It takes a conscious effort. My mind is not made up against men. I know men who are really close to their children. They try to spend weekends and free time with them. Do their homework with them, etc. But some other men will spend most of their free time hanging out with friends that are less important. Then when they are older, they expect everything to fall into place like it's magic. They say it's the woman's job Then we start hearing, I sacrificed, I inconvenienced myself for my family and many other sentimental talks. What were the sacrifices and inconveniences? Consequences always wait for us in front. No cheating. 9 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by greenie77: 3:32pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Hmmm......Some console/deceive themselves with talks that in adulthood "children will always go look for their fathers". You would ask, if it is the young ones of this generation that you would guilt trip and expect them to seek out parents who absconded from their responsibilities of nurturing them......dem go wait tire! 3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:33pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Redpillar: The same people singing their mothers are saints and fathers demons? Luckily, fathers are now becoming much more intentional about parenting and would reap the rewards in their old age. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Are Treated Badly At Old Age? by bukatyne(f): 3:40pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
CharisEleos: @bold: Discussion for another day. Why would a woman endure all sorts of nonsense because she wants to pay back at old age? This life is one and I will start enjoying it from my small age. When I look back in old age, I want to reminisce about all the good times I had with my husband/kids/work/family/church/life generally and how I want to enjoy my old age. I don't have the time to remember all the bad things someone did and how I want to start paying back. My lifetime is to precious for that. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
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