MadarasBlade:


I think it's best to exit the game, at least to me. What are the chances of ending up with a good woman?

pansophist:


It's not a crime to exit the game.

Adranidoo:
You write very well bro

pansophist:
I Find her interesting, then I'll need to hold on to the shaky faith in me to ask her out despite my fear of rejection, wondering if she will ever accept, and how I'll live with myself if she refuses. If she finds me interesting, then she would just give me green light, and pass the burden of chasing to me. If I didn't chase, she can safely conclude that I'm gay, that I'm not interested in her, or not man enough. Whichever case, the burden of performance rest solely on me, a position I can not negotiate myself away from.

So I finally summon the courage to ask her out, and she accept to go out on a date with me. Hallelujah. But a new chapter begin, I'll have to impress her. It's implied. Even if she finds me interesting, she knows she reserves the privilege to choose, why I reserves the liability to pursue. I'll have to be a gentleman to pay for the date, and probably pay for her uber if she is the broke type. The closest time I felt like this was during a job interview. The employer holds the power to choose. Let's not deceive ourself jare. She holds the power here, and even me the man's knows that. Only God knows the calibre of men in her contact list that she is ready to replace me with if I fork up. So I better be at my best behaviour.

Ok fast forward to the real deal. so she agreed, and we started dating. Now it's time to fork. I enter bed gallantly like John Cena, assured of my bedmatic skills to knack anything. But the problem is that even at my best, I may not measure up, because only God knows the gallant warriors that has gone through that route and set the bar so high, that she feel disappointed after the act. See me feeling like a superstar that I was able to reach three rounds, meanwhile, previous men de knack overnight non stop. Night vigil on top her body, for real. Again, the burden of performance rest solely on me. Just because I'm a man. Doesn't matter if other men don spoil show before me. Doesn't matter if na her fault for sampling multitudes of deeks, I just have to deliver satisfactorily.

Fast forward another day, on midnight. We are sleeping jejely. Then we heard a big knock, with a loud voice screaming, "open the door". She looks at me, shivering with her eyes saying, "baby, are we safe"? Of course implying that I should go check who is knocking on the door. It's not a duty to negotiate, it's my job as the man. And if anyone will be given the introductory slap, it definitely has to be me. Even if she a feminist, at that point, equality doesn't matter anymore. Gender role reactivated. She is a woman and I am the man. How about the two of us go see who is at the door? Two head is better than one? Well not in this case. The burden of performance rest solely on me.

If this is what is means to be the head, please, let's change role abeg. I'll gladly choose to be the neck, the liver, or even the oesophagus. All this responsibility and even multiple orgasm to compensate, I no see. Just a few sperm burst like tube toothpaste and I'm done. The one that pains me the most is that even in my innocence, just because the other party is a woman, then by default, the burden of proving myself innocent rest on me. She may give me a dirty hot slap in the street, and people will wonder what i did to deserve such slaps. Meanwhile if I do, all I'll hear is "do you want to kill her"? "Don't you know she is a woman? Real men don't beat women etc. If I was unlucky that it happened in a bad neighbourhood, I may be beaten public style, by boys who are quick to use my predicament as an opportunity to virtue signal.

Oya time to marry, I am ready, she is ready, but we are both broke. Although somehow, the burdens of brideprice, wedding expenses, proposing, buying ring, going to visit her family, arranging the house she will move in after marriage, and even more, falls on the man. Lots of men are unmarried nor because they are not ready but because they can't financially perform. Meanwhile, lots of women are unmarried not because they are not ready, but because they haven't met guys who will perform. My personal circumstances of being broke even if the economy is equally nacking us is unacceptable, but all I hear is, "bro just perform".

And this is one of the aspect I detest about maleness. That in relation with a woman, i bear almost, if not all the liability because I'm perceived as strong, and also that the burden of performance rest on me. Baba God, why?

CaveAdullam:
Well done Pansophist for such a wonderful write-up.

I
5. The problem these days is that Men are not granted their power despite their performance, hence, they tend to exhibit aversion towards marriage, long term relationship, societal upbringing, development of one's community. Men are being played and their eyes are opening to this fact. In our hunters gatherers past, men were rewarded for their performance with positions, lands, women, meats etc. These are what motivates men to work.

6. The state has deprived men of these things by siding with women while still expecting men to perform. Things doesn't work that way at all. Only the collective efforts of men (and women) can sustain civilization.

If everything in the book is not reviewed to favour men with appropriate rewards and women still enjoying their privileges, Men will continually retract themselves from what will benefit their community and society at large.

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