litaninja:
Calm your tities. There is no formular to longevity in marriage, however experience in sex counts. And the only way to get experience in sex is to have sex.

Image123:


Like the OP had been doing for 9 years right? All these teenagers and their gullibility.

OKOATA:
If church finds out, will the church open your stomach or mouth to know you guys had sex? I think the problem with most people is that when they tend to be too holy and allow some form of people to have control over them they start feeling that they can't do their own thinking without the higher authority calling the shots for them.

MrBrownJay1:
have you ever taken the time to ask her what she desires/likes in the bedroom?! did you guys dated before marriage? how was the sexual part then? was she ever enthusiastic about sex or was it always like that?

if you could manage for 9yrs then..... hang in there bro!

whatever goes through your mind, unless you wanna divorce the babe or get a second wife, anythging else isnt worthy!

Kobojunkie:
The man felt he needed to include that himself as if to suggest he be judged by a different set of standards than the average man would, and that's what happened.

If he had not included it, I don't think much of that would have occurred. Maybe now he knows not to do that again.

emmyN:


This is why I advise men to go back the way of our fathers and have second and third wives. This monopoly or monogamy is not for our african women. They were raised to be in competition with their fellow wives, so once that is absent in the marriage, they hold you by the balls and you start "managing", and hearing ridiculous statements like sex shouldn't be your problem after nine years.


Add me as a contact on WhatsApp. https:///qr/BGBBDCXO3I2BD1
You said she is a good woman yet she doesn't make you feel desired

Kobojunkiee:
Yes, sex drive is ultimately influenced by hormones. However, who is to decide what is normal for whom?

I have met folks with near near no sex drive and no complaints - healthy as far as they know. Then I have met folks with supposedly healthy sex drives who chose celibacy and yes, also healthy as far as they know. And then there are those who believe sex is essential to their existence.... there is a whole spectrum out there...

godliman:

If I were you, I will make the most of it. Like it or not, not every woman is sexy. If she doesn't deny you your conjugal rights, if she doesn't cheat, if she is not frigid or complain about your poor performance, why should you bother when she is not complaining. Satisfy yourself and let life go on. Sex is even over rated. I consider you lucky. Many homes are in crises today over wives complaining of husbands not satisfying them forcing many men into taking sex enhancement drugs.

crackhaus:
Since you say you're a pastor, my usual kind of professional advice in a situation like this cannot apply to you.

However, let me burst your brain small...

You see this problem you say you have? It's not a big problem at all.

As long as she's still opening her legs for you and she does not deny you sex anytime you need it, then you can survive.
Forget about whether she's enjoying it, or if she's enthusiastic about it. Just do what you went there to do, cúm your cúm and sleep afterwards.

Maybe she didn't expect that a pastor sef will have so many kinks about love-making.

godliman:

I envy you frankly, I wish I have this kind of wive. Sex is over rated, it is not worth skinning a man for. This problem will fizzle out by itself as you age and your libido falls. Don't destroy your family over what will pass off with time.

faithfull18:
Men problems plenty. Op looking for a combination of a slut in a wife. Like someone mentioned, focus on winning souls for the kingdom.

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

kkins25:
lack of libido means the unwillingness to engage in sexual activities which really means lack of motivation to reproduce.

Imagine of we were totally governed by instincts, that would mean that individual's gene automatically dies off because its faulty, and that is a big problem.

Mind you, people without limbs are also living fine and healthy, that doesn't mean they aren't abnormal with regards to morphology.

Pastor should take his wife to see a doctor. I too wouldn't enjoy "mounting" a woman with no interest in the sex affair. I'd feel like forcing it on her.. Sex is very important in marriage. We marry because of sex- Biological speaking. LOVE is just a cocktail of hormones.

solasoulmusic:
Making Love starts with pre-intimacy … tease and be stimulated that’s the problem with men in Nigeria porn won’t teach you how to nurture and make women wet but older movies will.

I remember when learnt why some envy you.

Sexual compatibility is important and people really force themselves to enjoy sex with people they don’t find attractive what their no longer intrigued or stimulated by

I love to be kissed and teased guess the kind of man you marry if you want that?

Start sucking and rubbing don’t just think of yourself … every time pamper her

It’s not always penetration first.

That’s why no matter how many risky Dey A woman yatoooo there are veins in a woman’s breast

godliman:

I envy you frankly, I wish I have this kind of wive. Sex is over rated, it is not worth skinning a man for. This problem will fizzle out by itself as you age and your libido falls. Don't destroy your family over what will pass off with time.

Kobojunkiee:
1. What exactly are you confused about ? What is it that you really expect your wife to do in this case?

2. You claim the marriage is dwindling but from your explanation, the problem is not the marriage but your sudden expectations that is the issue...

3. You claim you are a pastor but it seems you are suddenly letting your body pull the strings as far as your decision making. You married a virgin and it turns out she is not as enthused about sex as you are, what do you want? For her to turn into a porn star in bed after 9 years and 4 kids?

Botking:
Retired man , 4 kid already, 9 year of marriage

Retired in peace

Fucus in other things in life

Sex is not food

That's how the body of women become after many kids,

Sex will be sweet to her again when she gets to her 50th

lordally:


It's obvious you're not married...cos if you're , you would know Sex is a very strong Part of a coupes commitment to each other!

APCNig:
Isn't it obvious that Pastor has been watching porn and wants his wife to act like a porn star?

APCNig:


I have been married for over 10 years. Sex is not food. You cannot finish fuccking a pussy. You will fucck it till you die. Stop making Sex the best thing after Christ.

lordally:


It's obvious you're not married...cos if you're , you would know Sex is a very strong Part of a coupes commitment to each other!

Kobojunkie:
Lack of motivation to reproduce?

Yet some of the same people you refer to are today happily parents thanks to science(surrogacy in particular).

Obviously pastor's wife, if she is one's you speak of either since she does not seem to lack motivation to reproduce either. The woman is clearly great in that department and her hormones are doing well too it seems..4 in 9 years. That is already much.

Look, if she isn't dealing with any psychological trauma, and she is not complaining about her sexual health, there is nothing even a doctor can do for her. Loading her up with drugs so as to get her wired up to please her sexually frustrated husband amounts will not make her any better. She will still be taking it as she has over the last 9 years, only when high, she will do it with a smile and maybe some moans to please her husband....no guarantee she will enjoy any of it more than she already does right now.

Gobdddd:
Pls do recommend for me.

I can drop my contact. But If you will wish for me to give you a call, pls drop yours.

09076737179

kkins25:
so pastor should continue to suffer in silence.. Good advice.

for a pastor to come out and confess that his wife no dey give am green light, i am sure, its beyond the ordinary "african women don't like sex" cliche.

you seem to be oblivious to an important statement.

"To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her."

Kobojunkiee:
female Circumcision, albeit horrible, does not take away sexual urge, which is mostly chemical by the way. What it does is mutilate her vaginal parts. A woman has several exotic zones on her body that mutilating just the one does not render her sexually handicapped.

eddynaira125:
Try marry one, u go understand

Kobojunkie:
There are so many married women out there who are circumcised and married, still with very healthy sexual habits. Stop allowing myths(lies) dictate your choices in life.

eddynaira125:
Oga try marry one, So that you go talk for experience

Juventus4life:
He said he married her as a virgin and she was the first women he had sex with. Then no need to ask him about their sex part before marriage.

Ochibaisik:
He said he didn't have sexual relationship before marriage.

jacoik:
sometimes I wonder how people reason. Guy abi u be girl. Why didn't you read the story before commenting. Didn't you read where the op said that he was a virgin likewise the girl? Why this silly question nitori oloru