To forgive is wisdom, to forget is foolishness. Choose one.

I have forgiven them for my own peace of mind. Not necessarily because I am satisfied with how the events turned out. I only want to be at peace with my soul and my religion.

But if in a hundred other years, the opportunity comes around for me to revenge. All it will take is for me to remember what happened. Remember the lies they told, the words they spoke and the actions they took, how they became such great monuments of ingratitude. How all the love and care i gave was put to airy nothingness, how my experience with them made me a different person, made me paranoid and untrusting, how i got depressed and never told anyone. And you know whats worse? the fact that they never regretted their actions nor rendered any apology. I will shed tears. Multiple of them. In fact, tatoo tears.

It will be a hard decision for me to take. But Maybe I will realise I never really forgave them. I only acted to the dictate of necessity for my own peace of mind. I forgave my self for the pains I felt.

Maybe I will revenge. Just maybe!

I often find my self forgiving them over and over again though with a bitter soul. I wake myself up from day dreams of posterity returning my pound of flesh taken from me. I don't want to do no man no harm. But if it comes, like I said; I'd shed tears.

The tears shall flow in high torrents from my soul. Memories of the past will rush in from a part of me I don't really know, trying to escape from the little opening in a prison they had neither seen light nor had fresh air to breathe in many moons. The turbulent flow of these memories will be occasioned by gusts of rage and fits. Questions that had begged for answers for so long. Why was I the object of envy when all that happened to me was grace from God. I never told anyone otherwise! Why was I treated that way? With hate and injustice? Lies and discrimination? Why did my heart need to turn so cold?
I will shed tatoo tears for every hurt and pain I felt. But what will follow those tears, that I cannot guarantee. I'm only human after all.

I still pray to God to grant me the senerity to forgive with no hidden desires for revenge

Coly2012:
Forgiveness only let go of wrong done but can't wipe the memories off, even God don't forget our wrong even when he has forgive us.

How Dare you say this?

If we sin and beg Forgiveness from God, he punishes us alittle and Forgives/Forget completely..
E.g the case of David, Nebuchadnezzar, etc..God can't be remembering the Past!

Anyone that Says I can Forgive but Not Forget is Fooling himself/herself..

True Forgiveness Means Forgetting completely!!

MALIGNANTGuest:

I don't think you know the meaning of FORGETFULNESS.
The problem we have as Nigerians is we apply spirituality and religion to everything.
The worst happens when University Graduates imbibe such character.
FORGIVENESS is simple.
Forgetting the deed is difficult but that doesn't mean the person hasn't forgiven.

Your BRAIN has memory.
It stores events.
That's why you reproduce things when demanded or not, when necessary or not.
That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven.
AMNESIA is loss of memory.
People suffering from such can forgive & forget.

The truth is you don't really have to agree with my opinion dear, but I don't record wrong doings done to me, I can't be giving myself undue mental stress on top of the offence been done to me.Sincerely, when I deal with people, I give room for wrong doings, errors and mistakes because they are humans.Humans are not God, they can't be perfect no matter who or what they are.

There's "forgive",but forgetting is hard

Forgive = I'm OK. I will not punish you for this offence.
Forget = I will not use this offence against you or make reference to it in future. Not easy though.

MALIGNANTGuest:

I don't think you know the meaning of FORGETFULNESS.
The problem we have as Nigerians is we apply spirituality and religion to everything.
The worst happens when University Graduates imbibe such character.
FORGIVENESS is simple.
Forgetting the deed is difficult but that doesn't mean the person hasn't forgiven.

Your BRAIN has memory.
It stores events.
That's why you reproduce things when demanded or not, when necessary or not.
That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven.
AMNESIA is loss of memory.
People suffering from such can forgive & forget.

Oga, To forgive MEANS TO FORGET completely!!
People saying Forgive But don't forget are Deceiving Themselves!!
It means They didn't Forgive@All. They still Harbour grudges/Hate!

When Jesus forgave Peter, he didn't think Back.
When Esau forgave Jacob, Did he Think back?
Even battered wives forgives their husbands, some don't look back!..

You should also remember dat Humans are NOT Perfect!!
If a person Wrongs you, comes to Apologise, Forgive and simply Move on (Forget)..

WibusJaga:

Forget here does not mean to be erased from your memory.
It implies you don't allow any offences of yesterday to be a factor in your judgements & decisions of today.

Thank you � many do not get the point

How do you want to progress in life when you don’t forgive and forget? It draws one back, not forgiving and forgetting would not give you a full impact even if you thinking you are doing well in life with your decision.

But check me out



Check my video below

200k plus winning not up to 7 minutes, I used my 100% guaranteed trick on 49ja bet zero (people mostly know as color color) Made withdrawal of 580k plus here (link to watch my withdrawal:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKLc863ISsg )

100k to 200k plus

Watch


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGceQTGyuIo

mardis:
There is forgive but definitely not forget. Infact anybody that says he/she has forgotten is a big LIER

Read d second message above that I quoted to understand the concept of forget as used.

It’s about your judgement and decisions concerning the person who offended you...

ohosi4real:

That mean you worst than Buhari. Try to learn how to forget issues

WRONG!!!...

Forgetting is not always deliberate... Matter of fact, it is actually a defect in mental health to easily forget.

You can realistically suppress something painful but not exactly forget it. Most of what we forget are things that are not quite remarkable or monumental, while the reverse remains the case if the event is deep and impactful.

So, you can forgive (Accept repentance and allow for reparations) without necessarily losing the memory of the incidence. That you always remember it doesn't imply that you haven't forgiven. Forgetting takes a longer time, process, and might even require that you distance yourself from the the persons or place of offense to enhance the healing process.

Forgive and don't forget

mardis:
There is forgive but definitely not forget. Infact anybody that says he/she has forgotten is a big LIER

You don't know anything

No true forgiveness exist without forgetting cos you ll always give REVENGE a chance in your heart if you did not FORGET

binarymachine:
“Okay, back up a second, I can do forgiveness but you see forgetting? Uh uh I can’t. You see I come from a long line of historians, we keep track of people who have done us wrong, so I am definitely not going to do that. People do not actually change, they say they do but they don’t, you have to shine your eyes, watch out for the next time they are going to do the same thing, so you toss them off and move on”.

Wait- that’s a whole lot of work, to watch out for someone’s mistakes. Well let’s move on.
Now, What Does It Actually Mean To Forgive?
Well, from the English Dictionary It means;

a) To absolve somebody completely for a past or wrong doing;
b) to pardon with neither resentment nor a view to retribution.

Now To Forget means to overlook, pass over, disremember.

Look at the second definition of Forgive carefully, it says to pardon “without resentment”. How would you forgive someone and then still have that chip on your shoulder. Wait, What? What kind of chip? Well it’s the one you have as a constant reminder that somehow, somewhere that person you just forgave will repeat the same thing or even worse do something more terrible to you. So you tell the person you have forgiven him/her and you convince yourself that you have, but deep within, you sure know you’re holding back.

Robert Brault said- “If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one”. I would beg to disagree because you see,
If you pick forgiving and decide not to forget, often times you may find yourself stuck. How so? When you forgive an individual for wronging you, you give yourself the opportunity to move on,to grow. If the person is your friend, you know he/she won’t deliberately hurt you and even if they do, it would be a mistake, and they would immediately apologise.

Now, the growth process will make this person (friend or not) to be a better individual if he chooses to. But most importantly you will be a better person and you will feel good, better you would feel great.
Look at it this way? How would you feel if you lashed out on your friend in anger. She is hurt and you apologise quickly, you didn’t mean to hurt her, but for your “quick tongue”. She says she has forgiven you and now you have the past behind you and both move on. Seems the friendship is progressing until six months later, you lashed out on her again, this time not deliberately.

The therapist you’ve been visiting for the past months said you breathe in and breathe out for at least five seconds before saying anything when angry. It has been working but today you slipped, this one time, so you apologise. She is enraged, she looks you in the face and says you’ll never change, that you’d keep doing the same thing over and over again, to make matters worse, she goes down memory lane to recount each of your past misdoings. Yes I know how you would feel. Your shoulders are slumped, you’re sorry and hurt.

You realize now, she didn’t actually forgive you, she just told you she did but she didn’t in the real sense of the word. The progress you were trying to make to be a better person now looks like a mirage. You feel terrible. Then you may decide to break off the relationship to stay true to yourself and be with someone who would help your growth process. Or worse, you may decide to believe that you aren’t going to be a better individual, that you will never change and pretty soon it will take a toll on you.
On the other hand, to truly forget a wrong, you have to go through a process of healing, which will make it easy for you to move on.

After all, Confucius said-” To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it”. This can’t really happen without you forgiving the person who hurt you and forgiving yourself. You forgive yourself for letting this person into your life, and letting him/her hurt you that way.

Now don’t take this the wrong way, forgiving and forgetting a person’s wrong shouldn’t make you to constantly allow toxicity in your life or allow people who constantly bring you down to remain. Sometimes if it’s a friendship, forgetting may mean to shut the door completely and never look back, never allow such a fellow into your life again. It helps your sanity.

In forgiving and forgetting, you get to be wiser, stronger and very powerful- you are in control of your emotions. You know the people to avoid in the future and you know the people to let in, you know the steps to take when wrong and you know how to let go and move on. I’ll conclude with this quote by Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/08/25/is-there-such-a-thing-as-forgive-and-forget/

Forgive and forget

Forgive is to put someone who offended you in a position as if he or she has never offended/wronged you. If the person has killed your loved one, you can from your heart say to him or her[b] I love you[/b] as if he or she has not offended you or killed your loved one.
Forget does not mean the memory of that event will not come into your mind. It means you should not into account of the offender of what she or he did to you. For example, if Mr A offended you by slapping you on your face and forgave him. Tomorrow he came again and slapped you, and you turned to him and say, see yesterday you slapped and hear you are today slapped me againi will not take it here you brought yesterday offense into account. Treat today's offense as if he has not offended you before and forgive him again till seventy times seven in a day.

chii8:

The truth is you don't really have to agree with my opinion dear, but I don't record wrong doings done to me, I can't be giving myself undue mental stress on top of the offence been done to me.Sincerely, when I deal with people, I give room for wrong doings, errors and mistakes because they are humans.Humans are not God, they can't be perfect no matter who or what they are.

Maybe you guys don't actually understand what it means not to forget.



Not forgeting is a mechanism the body uses to shield you from further attack by prompting your brain to look for ways to safeguard yourself from that person who has wronged you. That's why bad things done to people lasts longer than good things in our memory. It help build your resilience and follow plan B if need be. It is very natural. Nobody in this world forgets the wrong done to them. Nobody.
Also, characters are built by not forgeting.
A CEO that his employee embezzled his money might forgive his employee especially if it's a close friend or family member but he will be careful next time mixing business with private life or friendship. That's not forgeting.

You leave a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend bc you didn't forget or an abusive relationship.

Vinnie2000:

Oga, To forgive MEANS TO FORGET completely!!
People saying Forgive But don't forget are Deceiving Themselves!!
It means They didn't Forgive@All. They still Harbour grudges/Hate!

When Jesus forgave Peter, he didn't think Back.
When Esau forgave Jacob, Did he Think back?
Even battered wives forgives their husbands, some don't look back!..

You should also remember dat Humans are NOT Perfect!!
If a person Wrongs you, comes to Apologise, Forgive and simply Move on (Forget)..

Good points you noted.
But you haven't answered the Question.
FORGET means to FORGET...
No synonym can take its place.
In this context, FORGETFULNESS means to come to a complete loss of events which transpired between you and the said person, with the aim of accomplishing forgiveness.

mardis:
There is forgive but definitely not forget. Infact anybody that says he/she has forgotten is a big LIER

English will still cause the next world war.

As you can see from the attached definitions. 4th definition does not mean you don't have the memory but you choose to stop bringing up the issue.
Forgetting here is a choice of not bringing up the issue next time.

So when they say Forgive and Forget, it simply means you have forgiven the person and you have chosen not to bring up the issue next time.

This is where most ladies need to learn.
Women never forget to bring up old issues. This is called nagging.

Vinnie2000:




Some of you Do not understand the concept of forgiveness@all..

Forgive means YOU MUST FORGET. Thanks to the OP for dis topic!

When the Prodigal son's father forgave him, will d father start remembering the boy's mistakes?
Or when Joseph forgave his Brothers..He will start to remember d Pit?

Using your Bible as your standard where is the bolden written in your Bible?

Yes there is.

You forgive the person for their wrong deeds and forget they ever exist.

I do that all the time, I forgive and forget about the person.

storm001:
Yes there is.

You forgive the person for their wrong deeds and forget they ever exist.

Great minds think alike. It's easy for me to forgive and forget

You will still remember

Vinnie2000:

Some of you Do not understand the concept of forgiveness@all..

Forgive means YOU MUST FORGET. Thanks to the OP for dis topic!

When the Prodigal son's father forgave him, will d father start remembering the boy's mistakes?
Or when Joseph forgave his Brothers..He will start to remember d Pit?

You can't say most of us do not understand the concept of FORGIVENESS.
There's Forgiveness, that I agree.
But FORGETFULNESS is difficult.
Even the JOSEPH you quoted will still remember what his brothers did to him if such is required of him in heaven.
ESAU will remember too.
STOP using your Religious Inclination to interpret things for others.
I'm also a Christian.
But don't make it look as though other opinions don't count too.
Your ANSWER is not the GOLD STANDARD.
People are making categorical assertions here.

Nothing like that. You can forgive but to forget is not to learn.

binarymachine:
“Okay, back up a second, I can do forgiveness but you see forgetting? Uh uh I can’t. You see I come from a long line of historians, we keep track of people who have done us wrong, so I am definitely not going to do that. People do not actually change, they say they do but they don’t, you have to shine your eyes, watch out for the next time they are going to do the same thing, so you toss them off and move on”.

Wait- that’s a whole lot of work, to watch out for someone’s mistakes. Well let’s move on.
Now, What Does It Actually Mean To Forgive?
Well, from the English Dictionary It means;

a) To absolve somebody completely for a past or wrong doing;
b) to pardon with neither resentment nor a view to retribution.

Now To Forget means to overlook, pass over, disremember.

Look at the second definition of Forgive carefully, it says to pardon “without resentment”. How would you forgive someone and then still have that chip on your shoulder. Wait, What? What kind of chip? Well it’s the one you have as a constant reminder that somehow, somewhere that person you just forgave will repeat the same thing or even worse do something more terrible to you. So you tell the person you have forgiven him/her and you convince yourself that you have, but deep within, you sure know you’re holding back.

Robert Brault said- “If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one”. I would beg to disagree because you see,
If you pick forgiving and decide not to forget, often times you may find yourself stuck. How so? When you forgive an individual for wronging you, you give yourself the opportunity to move on,to grow. If the person is your friend, you know he/she won’t deliberately hurt you and even if they do, it would be a mistake, and they would immediately apologise.

Now, the growth process will make this person (friend or not) to be a better individual if he chooses to. But most importantly you will be a better person and you will feel good, better you would feel great.
Look at it this way? How would you feel if you lashed out on your friend in anger. She is hurt and you apologise quickly, you didn’t mean to hurt her, but for your “quick tongue”. She says she has forgiven you and now you have the past behind you and both move on. Seems the friendship is progressing until six months later, you lashed out on her again, this time not deliberately.

The therapist you’ve been visiting for the past months said you breathe in and breathe out for at least five seconds before saying anything when angry. It has been working but today you slipped, this one time, so you apologise. She is enraged, she looks you in the face and says you’ll never change, that you’d keep doing the same thing over and over again, to make matters worse, she goes down memory lane to recount each of your past misdoings. Yes I know how you would feel. Your shoulders are slumped, you’re sorry and hurt.

You realize now, she didn’t actually forgive you, she just told you she did but she didn’t in the real sense of the word. The progress you were trying to make to be a better person now looks like a mirage. You feel terrible. Then you may decide to break off the relationship to stay true to yourself and be with someone who would help your growth process. Or worse, you may decide to believe that you aren’t going to be a better individual, that you will never change and pretty soon it will take a toll on you.
On the other hand, to truly forget a wrong, you have to go through a process of healing, which will make it easy for you to move on.

After all, Confucius said-” To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it”. This can’t really happen without you forgiving the person who hurt you and forgiving yourself. You forgive yourself for letting this person into your life, and letting him/her hurt you that way.

Now don’t take this the wrong way, forgiving and forgetting a person’s wrong shouldn’t make you to constantly allow toxicity in your life or allow people who constantly bring you down to remain. Sometimes if it’s a friendship, forgetting may mean to shut the door completely and never look back, never allow such a fellow into your life again. It helps your sanity.

In forgiving and forgetting, you get to be wiser, stronger and very powerful- you are in control of your emotions. You know the people to avoid in the future and you know the people to let in, you know the steps to take when wrong and you know how to let go and move on. I’ll conclude with this quote by Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/08/25/is-there-such-a-thing-as-forgive-and-forget/

Forgetting doesn't really mean that you forget totally after forgiving.

The way is see forgive and forget is like this....when someone offends you and you forgive them, the forgetting aspect is not using that particular thing as a reminder next time when they offend you.

For example, your bf/gf cheats on you and then they apologize and amend their ways....you forgive them, then along the line you have a heated argument over something else and then you say something like "that's how you cheated on me the other day"...that statement there shows that you haven't totally forgiven and forgotten. But when you don't bring up or use it against them, then it shows that you have forgiven and forgotten.

Yes it's possible. U can forgive and forget completely and life goes on.

Yes, I think there is. It depends on d nature of the person. I have such tendencies. I forgive and forget fucking easily n sometimes it pisses me off

Yes. I do forgive often but not necessarily forget as I usually recall if the person misbehaves again. But recently, I have decided to forgive and forget without recalling past misdeeds even when you offend again.

The inner peace I got from the later decision is not explainable, so glorious and splendid.

Nothing like "forgive and forget", only the dead forgets. Even in the Bible, God will always forgive the Israelites, but will still remind them of what they did in d past, and how He forgave them. Forgive, but don't use the past as a pay back

We can only forgive and not forget because if we forget there will not be history

If you read all, you deserve one bottle