Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? - Family - Nairaland
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| Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by blackmann(m): 8:53pm On May 24, 2011 |
I read this story online about a man and his domineering aunt, and i thot i shld share it witht the house. What wuld any of u guys do if u were in his shoes? Excerps:- Dear Aunty Kemi, As i write u this letter, i'm in tears. things have not been going on well with my wife and i ever since i sent my aunt out of the house. i need your advice on what to do, as well as the advice of many well nigerians. My wife nd i got married about 9 months ago. we wanted to start our lives together in the best way we could, away from the prying eyes of my extended family members, so after getting married, i requested my office transfer me to Abuja from Lagos. My wife is not from my tribe(she is a non-yoruba), ever since i began dating her, most of my family members were against me dating and wanting to marry a non-yoruba lady. i stood my ground, saying that this is who i want to marry. To God's glory, my parents supported me. My younger brothers also took her like the sister they never had. I have this aunt of mine(my dad’s older sister). Everyone knew that this woman sometimes had alot of wahala about her, selfish, poking her nose into other pple's business, always wanting to take from pple but wasn’t willing to give. I was warned by my brothers to try as much as not to discuss my fiancee(now my wife) in front of her, but since her two sons(my cousins) were used to coming to spend sometime with me in Lagos then, they met her anytime she flew down from abuja for the weekend. They both liked her so much and i guess they ended up telling their mum, cos i was surprised when one day my baby called me and told me my aunt called her, asking about her, this, that. I was surprised that she didn’t even call me to ask about her b4 talking to her. Anyway i let that one pass. I 4got to mention earlier that i usually give this my aunt some money anytime she asked for it, and that was frequently. Now that i had a wife and home of my own, my responsibilities shifted and i had to stop giving out money as frequently as i used to. This annoyed my aunt and she kept on telling me so. I tried expaining things to her, but since she didn’t want to listen, i decided to keep quiet. The last thing that broke the straw was when she came over to spend sometime with my wife nd i. I was skeptical about the whole thing and told my wife so, but she said there will be no problem, that i shld let her come. She came with her 2nd daugher, and ever since that visit, my life has never been the same. From day one, if it is not this, it is that. She never seemed to be pleased with anything my wife did. My baby kept on complaining anytime i got home from work, but i told her to keep her cool, that she will not be there for long. In the long run, she ended up spending more than 3 weeks with us, and she was always like she wanted to eat this, she wanted to go here nd there, even with the limited budget my wife nd i were following. One evening, i came home nd met my wife crying in the room. I asked her what happened nd she said my aunt insulted her. i asked my aunt what she did to warrant such insults, nd she started shouting, telling me she never knew my wife was so disrespectful, that she had warned me never to marry a non-yoruba girl, this, that. I felt pissed and bad, knowing very well that my wife would never do such a thing. I had to call my dad nd mum who are in USA for advice. They told me to try as much as possible to get her out of the house. I finally decided to act when things were getting worse. One Saturday i dropped my aunt and her daughter off at another of my big sister’s place, nd my wife had gone to the saloon and market. I had these motion detector surveilance cameras i bought while in the USA for my studies, and i decided to install them securely where they wouldn’t be seen. At least if anything happened, i’ll have proof. For the next 3 days, i secretly recorded happenings going on between my wife nd my aunt. I also saw that her daughter too connived with her mum to treat my baby badly. On the last day, i witnessed her slap my wife, and when she went to tell her mum, she too slapped her!!! i acted as if i wasn’t in the know. The following morning(Wednesday), i called all of them and sat them down. I quietly played the whole thing to them. I asked my aunt why she treated my baby like that. She refused to answer, rather shot daggers with her eyes at me. I also turned to my cousin and asked her who gave her the audacity to slap my wife. She was about to say some trash when i snapped. The beating i gave her that day, no one was able to stop me until i finished. I then told my aunt that i want her out of my house by the next day, and that she shldn’t ever come back. On my way to work, i called my dad in USA and told him everything. To cut a long story short, my aunt went back to her Lagos and started painting my wife in a bad image, telling everyone who cared to listen that i beat my cousin and sent both of them out of the house because of a woman who wasn’t even from their tribe. Some of my other family members supported her, but my dad nd mum just told me to take things easy, that i shldn’t make any contact with them anymore. Right now my wife is so heartbroken. She was so sad and depressed, she had a miscarriage, which devastated not only her, but me too. My mum had to talk to her a couple of times. I plan sending her to US to be with my mum for sometime next month. Right now i’m so sad. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:08pm On May 24, 2011 |
you dont need to apologise you did your best to investigate and you got the proof any one who says shi.t play them the video, the video will do the talking for you |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Odunnu: 9:11pm On May 24, 2011 |
End of discussion! You'v done all you have to do abi you want go beat am again? |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Sissy3(f): 9:14pm On May 24, 2011 |
he did the right thing by sending them both out the house and setting the boundary. they both just need to get adjusted to the venom that will coming their way, causing from the sound of it, that auntie of his is not going to let go easily. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Nobody: 9:19pm On May 24, 2011 |
the only thing the poster forgot to do what beat his aunt, too. good riddance. he and his wife will be more than alright. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by LadyT(f): 11:26pm On May 24, 2011 |
Your parents should bloody step in and tell your aunt to back off!!! Arrant nonsense |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Nekai(f): 11:28pm On May 24, 2011 |
Wowww, yeah the video should speak for itself. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by HighChief4(m): 12:09am On May 25, 2011 |
You did exactly what any man that loves his wife should do. Maybe your Dad has to contact his family and talk some sense into them. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Sheyun(m): 3:32pm On May 25, 2011 |
Very well, your cousin deserves to be dealt with and u did just that except she is older than u. I like what u did,no one should come btw u &ur wife and to top it beat her in ur own house. Nonsence! Please send ur wife go see maale make she go relax. God will give u guys another kid. Ori e pee daa da |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Outstrip(f): 4:30am On May 26, 2011 |
I am sorry but the wife has to take some blame here. People always start what they cannot finish. The aunty should never have come to the house. They had enough warning. Even the man crying for his "baby" did not want the aunty initially. Then the woman came and the over desperate wife started what she couldnot finish and was cooking a different soup everyday. When she found out that she could not realistically keep up with the demands she became overwhelmed. People like this aunty are like wild animals on the prowl. They can smell fear and this woman basically fed them the idea that she is desperate enough to put up with poo. Anyway I hope she has learned her lesson. A close friend of mine went through the same thing. hers was worse because it was her mother in law. She has learned now but I know the relationship has been affected forever. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Sissy3(f): 8:11am On May 26, 2011 |
^^^ from the look of it, it seems like she was trying to 'please' the aunty, sort of like showing/proving to her " aunty, you see im not that kind of girl you think i am" kind of it, giving that the aunty never liked her from the beginning. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by blackmann(m): 6:27pm On May 26, 2011 |
~Sissy~: Would you blame her? She was only trying to develop a good relationship with her husband's aunt, that's all. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by Outstrip(f): 6:38pm On May 26, 2011 |
~Sissy~: I get what she was trying to do but it back fired and she deserves it. That technique never works. She set herself up for failure. Are the other family members that warned her stupid? The other big part is intuition. It was obvious but she felt she could fix it. If you feel that you are a good person then just be yourself. People who appreciate honesty and kindness will accept you. Those that cannot accept you unless you go out of yoru way to draw them in will NEVER accept you. Furthermore if you have to brown nose to get their acceptance then be ready to face whatever comes when you stop brown nosing. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by blackmann(m): 6:50pm On May 26, 2011 |
Outstrip: And that's the problem we yorubas have. I feel what the aunt's problem is that her source of "free" money had been cut short, and naturally being the greedy type, she was taking it out on the poor wife because she knew that the priorities would change. The poor girl was only trying to make things okay between her and the old woman, but like you said, it backfired. |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by feminineA: 12:46am On May 27, 2011 |
The truth is you did the very right thing. In marriages when rules are made they must be followed to the letter no matter who will be hurt at the end of the day. I know its not easy for your wife infact i really understand her pain. She needs you more now. Ignore what your Aunt is saying up and down thats her business none of yours.I wont be surprise if she is out of her husband's house. All you need to do is to get closer to you wife and give her all the assurance she needs its sad she had a mis carriage pls make sure you help her get over it and move your marriage to the next level void of family interference Also, i recommend the trip to the states to stay with your parents for a while. she needs support of some members of the family especially your parents |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by 735i(m): 5:50pm On May 27, 2011 |
Personally; i commend you for having d patience to wait and ask questions before losing it. but i would have loved it if you had made ur wife slap dis ur so called cousin and ur aunt too. dem dey madt!!! imagine someone slapping my wife  Na death be dat. straight up!!! |
| Re: Does He Owe His Aunt An Apology? by iwakunbaba: 8:43pm On May 30, 2011 |
put everybody in their places, only your direct siblings should come around and your parents . every other ppl should be fenced off. you owe no 1 apology, even GOD will be happy @ what you did. your home 1st and other ppl. |
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