Please i need your advice on this.I met this lady about seven(7) years older than me (but she doesn't look her age)in an office i work.Other managers have been making a pass at her but she refused.One day while going home together she asked me to come over to know her house since it was close bye,i agreed and went,about 8pm i decided to leave but she asked me to stay till the next day because it was late.I agreed.When it was bed time, i wanted to lie on the chair but she invited me over the bed and told me not to worry.While lying on the bed,she turned and asked if i thought she would disturb me,she said in a weak voice while her hand was resting on my chest tickling my hair,I held her and caressed her with my blood boiling hot and my manhood erect.Suddenly i discovered there was no condom and i withdrew myself explaining to her and she laughed telling me she was sorry taking me unawares that when next i should come with my ''tools''.I went back next time and bleeped her for almost 2hours(no exaggeration).That was the beginning of the journey.She told neighbors that i was her brother that just got a job around.As we proceeded,she told me not to commit my heart too much in the relationship because she may be ordained a female priest in their church which doesnt permit them to marry.Some months later she came with the news that the situation has changed and as a female priest one could still marry.When she wanted to relocate to a new place the owner of the new house refused to accept payment from her cos she had a policy of not accepting single ladies.She missed the first opportunity.When she got another accommodation opportunity she begged me to present myself as the person in need,so i went and made the payment in my name and smartly told the owner that i have a sister that would be staying with me.I therefore decided to be passing most of my nights there to prevent suspicion from the owner of the house.The landlady was seeing us as a brother and sister.Our relationship started building,until a day she called me to complain that i was not showing her love outside,like holding her while walking on the streets but i reminded her that our representation to people around as brother and sister could not allow that.She continued complaining and later she called me in a night to ask me if i have plans of marrying her.That was a big question! I told her that my plan of marriage is in distant future.She reminded me that she was not getting younger,and asked if she should wait till any time im ready.I blankly told her that i would not be a clog to her wheels especially if she has gotten anybody that was ready to marry her,she should go ahead.She became angry and said i was deceiving her all the while,which i reminded her that i never,because i have helped her in several ways.Then anytime i dreamt i would be seeing another man in her house,i tried to find out if she had anybody,but she denied.All the while i saw that i could trust her because she said she didnt double date.We later settled our differences and she said since i wasnt ready to marry yet,i should leave her alone.I was touched but to prevent her from being thrown out of the house i rented with my name,i quickly told the landlady that i have been transfered that i would not be always around and my sister would be representing me.All these while we would still meet in the office and when there was need for me to see the landlady,i would pretend as if i came from journey and go.I discovered that anytime i went around,my girlfriend would be very excited,suddenly my feelings even to get married to her within a short time increased.I protected her interest in the office as a superior and my coleagues though suspected could not get any clue till date if we are dating or not.I take care of some of her financial needs anytime she called on me not to make her feel bad.She asked me to promise her not to date any female coleague in the office as they all fall head over heels for me and i agreed.She receives calls from different men almost every minute in the office and when going home(unlike before).Sometimes in some of the calls,she would inform the caller that she was with a coleague that they would talk later.One day, i became angry and told her that telling someone that on phone was a disregard to me.She apologised,but i told her no problem,she went ahead to swear that she still loved me that all the callers are just face book friends not even living in lagos.Because i trust her,i agreed. Yesterday, i got the shocker of my life when i got to my office and discovered she used my system to access her facebook without not logging off.I saw a message she sent to a male friend that she has missed his kisses,hugs and love making.I discoverd that the friend lives in lagos and her church member!.I left her face book logged on and getting to office today i saw another message telling another male friend that she had a child at 18. Now i am lost.I still drove her home from office today but decided to control myself.What should i do? I am boiling!

Kill her arse!

You dont love her and have no plans of marrying her in the distant future, yet you are angry that she is going about her life

Kick her out. waste of time

@poster
you are definitely confused, to say the least!
if you dont want anything to do with this lying stranger then why are you mad if she moves on with her life?!

Using paragraphs would make it so much easier to read and comment.

The earlier you leave her the better for the both of you

what do u want from her? are u sure u are ok? i thought u said u werent ready to marry her and she could go on to marry any man interested.

am i missing something here?

i dont get ur anger, this lady wants to settle down, u didnt want and now she is trying to move on u still dont want that. pls make up ur mind. either u are in or out. by way the she purposely left her mail for u to read. she wants to'see ur'reaction to the thought of her being with another man

She didn't know that her facebook was still logged on in my system because there was power interruption that automatically shut my system down and saved the tabs she was browsing at, because my UPS was faulty.I am a manager while she is the secretary.She went to print a document from my system and browsed her way off when i was off for an appointment.

I am sorry for not putting the whole writeup in paragraph,i wrote them out of anger and confusion.

sexylogan:

^^^lol.

@OP,

your lady friend used your system and left her fb msg page open twice so that u wud

read those msgs. it's not a mistake. she's tired of the relationship and wants u to get angry and

call it off. pretend u didnt see those messages and play it cool and see wat happens.

I absolutely agree with you

@ op

From the look of things, there might be more skeletons in her wardrobe. If I were you, I would find a way out before things get even messier.

And is that why you wanna kill her? Are you married to her? LMAO! just thank your stars and move on to another woman


Singing Jay z 99 problems.

If your having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bit**h ain't one ,  Hit me        

The problem with you is that you are possesive and the lady probably knows it so she is using it as a tool to get to you.
And what is it with guys and reading a girl's mails anyway? Why do read a mail someone sent on Facebook and believe it especially a girl it is PROBABLY FALSE

OP, you said you are the manager and she is the secretary. My interpretation: You are the maga and she is the player.

Play with caution,shine your eyes,keep your ear to the ground . Guard your heart ,keep ur kool and catch her red handed.

That's some long paragraph mehn!!!

Why worry yourself. Enjoy the relationship while it lasts knowing nothing will come out of it. Use a condom always.

op
re u not d lecturer dat is looking 4 a wife in dating n meetup zone?
Go n marry,
if u re sure dis story is real.

Awwww pele, she grew on you. just talk to her about how you feel and let her be. afterall u have no intentions of marrying her. avoid free food

Hmmmm, u must have really enjoyed those episodes of lovemaking u had with her,u find it difficult letting go.maybe it's time for both of u to move apart,aren't u tired of living such hypocritical life at work,home&everywhere.my advice,the fun is over,try&open a new chapter in ur romance life,propably a more reasonable one

You are boiling? Good for you. If you have no plans of marrying her -then what do you expect?

I actually understand what all of you are talking about, it may seem that i am trying to cage her despite not wanting to marry her.The truth is, if i had moved on with any other lady in the office or outside even though we have defined our relationship,she would be hell mad.She still confides in me like a brother,I advise her,help her out financially.She wants us to be enjoying together until she gets married(Though i was not comfortable with this cos it is also tying me down).We are perfect friends but for marriage compactibility, i have been indecisive but not conclusive.

My anger was for the fact that she has been presenting herself as a virteous woman and confided her past in me,this made me to even continue in assisting her and she still hope i would change my mind to marry her.Imagine telling such dirty secret to an online stranger just because he claimed to be a medical doctor in the US having problem with his American wife who later learnt he has a child in Nigeria.The guy in question has only a photograph in his profile and sent a number to her to call a brother which she foolishly did.Can you imagine the 419 personality?

This may be a way for God to let me know the impending danger,if i eventually give marrying her a second thought.I have made up my mind to move on with my life while she goes her way.While going home today.,i must confront her, I have the messages printed out. We must clarify issues once and for all.I have female admirers all over and I am a part time lecturer.I am realy serious to settle down,but this incident has increased my previous fears that i can not trust a woman!

The second guy she sent a message of having missed his kisses,hugs,touches and sex,is her church member in Lagos.She goes to church from the office every fridays and returns to her home on sunday night claiming attending choir practice and meeting.I must get to the root of this today after work!

Does she have big boobies by any chance?
Is that what's contributing to your inability to make the right decision?

^^ You see what ticks me about this whole story is:

*Why must you help her out financially. Are you Santa Claus?
*Is she the only woman out there? If not,why are you blinded of her trifling ways.
*You need to start thinking with your head man -why not cut your losses and move on.
*She wants you to be enjoying each other till she gets married? And what does that make you, a puppet on a string?

You need to man up, and take control of your emotions and life. That's all i'm saying.

look am nt going to blame dat babe oooo atalll 1 u dnt want to marry her 2 she must have been scared of lossing u u made it clear u dnt want to marry so wat d hack move on i dnt see anything if she has a child atlist she dnt abort it so make up ur mind