Letter to Nigerian Parents

HELLO

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WROTE THIS BUT IT MAKES INTERESTING READING & FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Friends,Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline)speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime minister in the UK – he travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton(the lady soon to marry Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there's one core difference them and us(generally speaking). They (even the billionaires among
them) work for their money,we steal ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not having to "steal", which seem to be the norm these days.

"30 is the new 18", which seem to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria.

At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults.

I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10 years in Nigeria. I have a broad range of experience from recruiting graduates to executive director level of large corporations. In addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively privileged upbringing.

Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back home to stay was for 3 months before I got married!

Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London - indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3 bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial help from my parents!
For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's. Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving" parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So where exactly is this "child" is my usual question. Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but "earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I eel that an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion the greatest evil
handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is at the root of our national malaise.

We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being "breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s. Even though the examples I have given above are rom parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from beokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake up dad! You are practically loving your children to death! No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birth right.

I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over 20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them to succeed without your "help".

Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman, what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are today? No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults complaining, "my parents didn't buyclothes for me this christmas", ask him/her how old-30+. Because of the challenges we faced in our youth, we are where and what we today, this syndrome-my children will not suffer what I suffered is destroying our tomorrow.

Deliberately reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on Saturday till late afternoon or evening-do as occasion deserve.

I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go, what a life. No one wants to marry them. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.- Henry Ford. Hard work does not kill, everything in Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your ward fare?

If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retire, will you fly a plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria? People now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or read an article without bomb blast! Which Way Nigeria!, Which Way Nigerians!! Is this how we will ALL sit and watch this country SINK?

Hello everyone, please lets be careful here about this guys info, because there are elements of truth and some of lies. The lies are just due to improper observation of Nigerian youths. Like somebody said. Yes i hawked pure water in Eko market, lolly pop in oyingbo, during off school months,our family made fufu, sold peanuts and i worked at the sawmill. I did all this because i believed in my God and myself that i will survive and make it in Nigeria. Nobody in my church knew what i was doing ( particularly for me: i hawked, worked at the sawmill and collected trash for money and worked with a man in my street that rented out chairs and tables for parities. Sometimes i will run into our neighbours from our street but not church members, i felt ashamed but not discourage becos as the first child, i was not going to steal,or be identified with it also wanted to model hard work to my other siblings) . Yet i was taking classes as student, i was determined to bring home something more than mediocrity.
I am saying this not to take glory of myself but to tell the Nigerian youth that u can survive and rise up anywhere u are right now in the world. Mind u am am from Nigeria, born and breed in Lagos, originally from Uyo. During my secondary school years, being a boarding school in Ogun while my parents lived in Lagos, i was used to working, i will tell distant neighbours, that i am a student, they will allow me into their homes, to work house help, with house chores, on the weekends sometimes on sunday after church. I never told my parents because, they would discourage me. Not even anyone in my dormitory knew about it, no matter how close they are to me. Little did my parents knew that i did not want to intentionally bother them because i knew how bad things were, even though they did not disclose it to me. I had other siblings after me for them to help as they were all students themselves. I did this for years why waiting for more money from them via fellow friends. Mind u i was in my teens.
After finishing in 1996, i took Jamb and gained admission into two schools UYO / Laspotec, i choose laspotec, during school off days, i would arrange with parents and teach their children math and english for money. To cut the story short i relocated to the state in 1999 till date the rest is history. I am never disconnected from our great country Nigeria because it is my motherland. And i am persuaded that any youth in Nigeria and in this world can succeed.
Recently, most precisely, last month a family member older than me a womanizer and a lazy person, called me after twelve years. The first thing is, please send me money i want to start a business. By the way i am 33years Married and blessed with two children. He is not married at 40 and wants me to send him money for a business. Mind you folks i am a people-person, if i have i will help.
In fact, my desire is to provide humanitarian and philanthropic aid to people. I never told him this, (are there not banks in Nigeria where he can borrow money to start a business). Only because he heard i built a house in Lagos, he foolishly taught am a millionaire, yes i am but it is not by sitting my behind on the chair and looking the sky, with a women am not married to in my house wasting my life away. Sorry i did not want to sound like a fanatic, if that is your perception that is fine i don't care. it is by prayer, sacrifice, determination, resilience,focus, planing and a lesser sleep now for more tommorrow. To me Nigerian youth are over sleeping, over talking, over indulging, over eating and over playing. I told him i have no solid job, just a medial job, with just doing a medial job am still able to do the unbelievable.

My personal achievement:
1. Currently married, with children,
2, Started a house in Lagos in 2003 age 25, completes 2011 by age 33
3. Currently a worker and off course a bread winner
4, Currently in the University, schooling.
5. Acquired a land in Uyo this 2011 ( Possible site for generation of income for people/self)
6 Live in house in America, that is not appartment. Nothing wrong with that though
7. My ultimate goal is to establish employment opportunities for people in Nigeria

Why am i saying this, is it to expose my self no. This is my personal life an i want people to learn from my simplicity. Every Nigerian Youth/child has the potential to be whatever God intended for them if they are wise. They can work today and rest tomorrow. Instead of the people looking for quick rich scams that will imprison them, thereby loosing precious time that would have been invested constructively to better their life. The youth should stay humble, stay where God place an you will be divinely lifted in due time. Does it look like am just a father, no am a worker or civil servant , am a student also. Please lets grow up and stop growing under our parents. I personally hated receiving from my parents. Trees that grow on their own thrive better than those that grow under others. Mind you my parents have two houses over the course 10 years, just bought another land. I never in my life think or let it cross my mind that i will take their properties.
I indirectly don't need it, because i have mine. Some youth are like that they want to suck their parents to death. I hear somebody say, they work alot in that family, foolish you. U want us to depend on the government, hun!! or sit down and watch our potential do something that will benefit us and other pass away without doing anything. It is not right. It is not under my watch like President Bush says. Nigerian Youth need to be reeducated,retaught, and rebuilt. Otherwise, everybody will blame the economy,economy,economy, and nothing can be done. Nigeria is on the list as one of the best place to do business because of its fast growing population, its increase need in man power, increase need for financial sustainability and increase spread in globalization and mcdonaldization. Lets not be left behind in this move.
Finally Nigerian youth can get the best out of their life if they wake up from their sleep. At least i can prove that i am making it in life through hard work and the Grace of God. Mind you they will not die because of hard work. For he that does not work doesnot deserve food.I passionately hate to steal another Man's money i can have mine, because he is able that promise. God bless Nigeria, God bless America and God has bless this planet. Stay cool.