By Oramadike Ifeanyi | October 07, 2021

Teenagers may have the view that they know it all, but research says vice versa! The rational part of the brain does not fully develop until 23-25 of age. Adult brains and teenage brains operate purely in a different way. In primary school, the child look up to their parents. But at adolescence stage? Not so ample.

Spending more time with family at home has been a hopeful prospect of these stress and storms periods . Learning and working from home has brought thousands of families closer, and the absence of typical excursions has build more opportunities to interact with and entertain with the family.
But for most homes/families, it’s been a mixed blessing.

According to Sean Grover, licensed psychotherapist and author of “When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully and Enjoy Being a Parent Again,” states, “Teenagers rebel because they want to be different from their parents, plain and simple.”They want freedom at this stage to showcase themselves. “As teenagers struggle to establish their own unique identity, they often reject their parents in the process. This is healthy and necessary for them to develop a strong sense of self.”

it is practicable and important to keep a positive and unshakable relationship and closeness with your teenage child.

The following are few guides to assist facilitate that:

Guide #1: Give your teen some responsibilities;
Teenagers want independence, and parents should foster this by giving them responsibility when possible.

Guide #2: Don’t wait until it’s too late;
"Establishing a family culture of mutual respect and keeping communication open from an early age will assist with the teens years", According to Grover .
“Don’t incline heavily on punishments, as a top-down parenting model will backfire in adolescence big time".

Guide #3: Give a listening ear and be open;
According to Grover, "It’s important to listen more than you talk and maintain a healthy curiosity,”

Guide #4: Be an Example to what you preach;
When parents encourage open communication, it can provide a safe space to talk about peer influence. This, in turn,can assist teenager choose healthy, positive friendships where they will get a reciprocated relationship with other teenagers.

Some questions on Teenagers real identity.
Few questions that will get your teen talking and build your relationship in the process, once you notice that your teenage child is giving you a distance.
Good conversations with teenager are often grounded in their self experiences, likes and dislikes, or opinions.
Some of the questions will come under some categories which includes;
#School/Learning
#Relationship/Friends
#Light-hearted Questions
#Big Questions
#Framework Questions

#School/Learning Questions

Teenagers always have a lot to say on their daily experience in school when the parents ask a basic question like 'How was school?'instead, when speaking to your 17-year-old about their day and school in general, please asks more detailed questions, such as:
What is your favorite subject in school? Tell me about the best activity you’ve ever done in that subject.
What do you think is the most important quality in a teacher? Reason?
Did anything funny happen with [friend] at school today?
Which is the most difficult rule to follow in school? Why do you think that is?
What’s something you’re really good at in school?

#Relationship/Friend Questions

Be genuinely curious about your teen’s world and the people who inhabit or they share it.
Some relationship/friend questions to ask:
What do you think makes a good friend?
What kind of things do you like to do together with your friends?
If you and your friends won a $200 prize, how would you spend it?
Did you meet anyone new today? What are they like?
How do you think this person will impact your life positively?
According to Morrison, "These questions will help parents get a better understanding of whether or not their child’s friendship is a positive or negative influence in their life."

#Light-hearted Questions

Getting information and providing strong leadership doesn’t have to be done so through a dictatorship.”
Grover states,“It’s so important to keep a sense of humor when talking with your teen.”
Light-hearted questions to ask:
What’s your favorite TV show?
What do you look forward to most each day?
In your opinion, what is the most useful/entertaining app?
What’s your favorite song of all time?
What do you look forward to most each day?

#Big Questions

Most times the time and place is ripe for getting your teenage child to really discuss.
Big questions to consider are:
Do you think you have enough support at home? If not, how can we change that?
Do you want to get married one day?
What’s something you wish adults understood about kids today?
Tell me about an achievement/ experience you’re really proud of. Why is it important to you?
What do you think makes your generation unique?

#Framework Questions

Some of the Framework Questions
What superpower would you want to have? How would you use it?
Do you think aliens exist? How would you explain Earth/humans to them?
If you had one year to spend three million dollars, how would you spend it?
Do you think there is too much/ not enough technology in the world? What would you change?
Describe your perfect meal.

Some children will ‘talk’ more through art or through writing journal messages to each other. The important thing is that you’re listening in every way you can. Getting closer to your teenage child is one of the most useful part of their life.