Bt Op
dere r still lyk a thousand n four ladies on ere lookin 4 whom 2 hook up wit
y nt jst use dis opportunity
i bet it cool

First of, I have read all your threads about this your current babe and it seems her flaws are too much for you to handle, so why dont you just call off the engagement?

Secondly,as regards your ex, it is not a must for you to marry her, so get over her, stop regretting cos its not going to solve anything, there are other fishes in the ocean though you might not get the best time around

Lastly, stop blaming your friend, he only played a smart one on you by grabbing the jewel you lost, in as much as he advised you, he did not make the decision for you, so get over that too!


Bottom line, you have learnt your lesson,

the story lacks coherence, imo.

Poster I am not nailing you to the cross for leaving your ex, we humans have this way of finding sweet words with which to justify some of our actions, I have a feeling that you may be doing so. Why will you let go of a good woman when you found her just because you were still living with your parents and have no job or something, you two should have worked hard to protect the priceless understanding you had. You alone knows what you saw in your intending wife-to-be that made you go for her? Somewhere in the corner of your heart you know the truth dearie. Don't you?
[b]I was able to gather from your heart rending that your relationship with your ex is not in the distant past, it seems like a recent occurrence. How come when you finally got ready to marry you never bothered to ask whether she can agree to marry you knowng that she is still single. [/b]Now somebody else you must have confided in how good and domesticated she is becoming attracted to her and you can't stand it, you are even alluding that the person tricked you out of a good woman. Do you want us to conclude for you that that friend of yours actually planned and got you off your ex so that he can have her? If that is the case, you must be entertaining us with a movie that is more engaging than our Nollywood movies ("Wait let me get my popcorn and return sweetie", Ivy dashes to the kitchen, returns with a bowl of Popcorn and curls up on the sofa)

Ehen, where did we stop sef------------
You ignored her when you want to marry for some reasons you alone truly know and now you can't bear for her to look at somebody else. Don't you want her to marry too like you yourself is about doing? You should be able to know what you want in a woman and not letting your self get swayed by the glitters and blings. Indeed how deep rooted are you Sweetie?
You are pouring your heart out to us and having people tell you not to make mistake, to go for who you actually love. You need to get some confidence and integrity up your spine for it will help you as a man if somebody else disappoints your own sister as you are about to disappoint this BB and BIGGS hopping lady (as you called her, I no fit laugh abeg  , it's not even funny) that you were at the verge of getting married to, will you be happy about it?  If I decide to just read your post, be moved by your emotions and get convinced by you, I will also be saying that you quickly diss our BB wife-to-be and go for the ex you truly love. Indeed even without being moved by those, I will rather you marry somebody you love than the person you just got attracted to with no deep feelings for because love is what will carry you and your wife through the vagaries of life yet all I am trying to point out to you is that you man up, not break the heart of ladies and be thinking deep when you make your decisions especially decisions that affect others even if you are gaining the whole world from it.
You actually have me wondering whether you truly and deeply love your ex as you are making us believe and not just having some jitters over your intending engagement/wedding. Are you sure that the fact that somebody else is looking her way has not stirred up some jealousy that made her appreciate in your eyes? How sure are you that when you go back to her, weds her and after she has a child and perhaps fattens up a bit and may not be looking very blinged up that you may not start wishing for our BB babe cladded in her tight jeans and sexy high heels dancing to "Beyonce"  (Oldboy you no want make a Sisi entertain her man with sexy dance again, na wao  ). Search your heart and be real to your self, is it a case of "the ex is the very domesticated-and-not-too-flashy humble and home girl" and the intending wife-to-be is so high class/high-maintenance and sophisticated that you got swept off your feet? My friend sit down and think deeply, know what you want before you break the heart of that girl in calling things off.
The fact that we women have to wait for the hands of men in marriage is positioning some women at the whims and caprices of some men and even making some men toy with some weak women, that is undignifying and should not be!(I don't like to see women being placed in that position). I don't even know who made that law. I am not being harsh on you Sweetie but when I consider these two women as though they are my sisters, you are simply not being fair to them at all.

@190
i tire
@ ivynwa
For a hot minute, my fianceé's shenanigans captivated me. Now it's not funny anymore. Just because I've taken certain decisions, doesn't mean I lack depth. I wanted to retain close communication with my ex after the breakup, but she didnt want that. So when I picked up the pace of my life, the door of communition between me and ex was virtually closed.
I don't want to disappoint my fiancée, but I don't want a broken home too.
And you can't deny that my friend acted in a despicable manner.

heavy g:

@190
i tire
@ ivynwa
For a hot minute, my fianceé's shenanigans captivated me. Now it's not funny anymore. Just because I've taken certain decisions, doesn't mean I lack depth. I wanted to retain close communication with my ex after the breakup, but she didnt want that. So when I picked up the pace of my life, the door of communition between me and ex was virtually closed.
I don't want to disappoint my fiancée, but I don't want a broken home too.
And you can't deny that my friend acted in a despicable manner.

Okay Maybe I shouldn't call it shallow/lack of deep rootedness on your part but your bolded words above did confirm that you were swayed by your fiance's flashiness but later pulled your self together which is the truth I was referring to. I am not blaming you much for that, glittering women does move some men and we humans gravitate to good looking things but need to have our thoughts together when we do. I will advice that you don't cancel things outrightly as the decision was brought about by different emotions (the thoughts of your ex, the jealousy your friend excited from going for her, the annoyance towards your high maintenance wife-to-be). You can put a hold on the engagement/wedding and give things a little time for you to simmer down and take good actions, you can talk to your fiancee about your distaste to her spending habit and her ignoring you and spending a greater part of her time Bbing.

I am not reading any bad behaviour she is exhibiting, she seems like a young girl enjoying her life being the young girl that she is. If she ask for things that you cannot afford, be bold to tell her that you can't afford that even if her Dad owns the whole world. It is better that she knows and sees you as you are now (so that she can find her way if she is not okay that you can't afford such things for her). Don't appease her now, and fulfill all her spending whims just to make her happy (while you are dying inside) only to start refusing her whims when you marry her. She doesn't seem bad from what you have told us, unless there are other bad things she is doing. Be real with her and with your self and see how things goes. As per your friend stabbing your heart, need you worry when the lady is not even interested in him? Take a time out to know what you want before going for it okay.

190:

^cheii see essay

@190
Don't let me catch you there -o-o-o, where is my broom? Ivy chases 190 out of the thread with a broom------Naughty boy!

A leopard will not change its spots. Your fiance will not change, she is who she is. You are not over your ex.
Call off your engagement with your fiancee since she will never be your no 1. Then go for your ex.

Remember tho, its been a while since you dated your ex. A lot of water (and diks) will have passed under that bridge.

At best you may need to postpone this wedding. At worst, cancel it completely and remain single for a while so you can figure yourself out.

What your current fiancee lacks is maturity. No one can teach you how to be mature. You need to learn it for yourself.  How old is she? And how old are you?

It's a bit sad that you now extol the virtues of your ex while your present gf is giving you hell. You must have seen some qualities in your present fiancée that made you want to marry her. . . try to remember them (if you can stomach her behaviour, that is).

I don't like jumping to conclusions but yes, what your friend did seems very opportunistic and manipulative. But this is how a lot of Nigerians are.

One more question though. Why did you feel the need to consult all your friends before breaking up with her? I don't get this idea that boys have that their friends must approve of everything they do before doing it. Why not have just ONE good and trustworthy friend you can talk to about personal issues? It never occured to you that guys can be as bitchy as girls are, did it? I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way. Even me too I learned the hard way as well that you don't put your trust in everyone. Not everyone likes you or even cares about you.  

But to be quite frank, you're not supposed to care about your ex any more. Your anger is a bit unreasonable. Are you angry because she's getting some attention, or because it's your friend that she's getting the attention from?

Would you still have broken up with her if your "friend" had disapproved instead of approving of your breakup? To me it looks like you would have. If your friends advice was extremely instrumental in your breakup with her, then you probably have a right to be angry. But you had already made up your mind to break up with her by the time you went to meet your elders (friends) for your village meeting . . . lol.

Anyway there are a lot of questions you need to need to ask yourself here. And you need to make a decision and go about it the right way, because even if you break up with your fiancee now, you can't just jump back into your ex's life and continue as if nothing happened. If she's everything you said she is, then I'm sure she's not stupid. And if thats the case then she's never going to fully trust you again. She may not even agree to get back with you. So I think you need to chill and ask yourself why you're so angry in the first place.

u obviously will run out of dat marriage before u know it. if u r a true christian, it makes it works cause u cant run out again after the marriage. if u r nt, my broda, repent now or u will turn out a serious womanizer as dey call it (she will respect you later though). just run off.

^

bhusayor:

^

busayo is that ur picture? infact give me ur email. we need to talk of air asap asap

dont pity u

ur friend is a sharp guy, ur plain daft

@op,all I have to say is dat nxt time,use wisdom(if u ve got some)
Quit whining and stick to ur bimbo.
Nxt pls!

I rebuke you Satan

satani22:

busayo is that your picture? infact give me your email. we need to talk of air asap asap

op
were u stabbed with pencil?

bhusayor:

I rebuke you Satan

My dear busayo, ignore the name. im serious. hit me up asap dear

^^^ and how do i HIT you satan?

bhusayor:

^^^ and how do i HIT you satan?

My dear kindly send me a mail

edited

@heavy g- marrying that african beyonce would be the worst mistake you would ever make in life. Nothing more would compare to that singular mistake. But if you really love her, you can tame her. (read the novel, "taming of the shrew" by William Shakespeare.

^^^^^^^^^^^^ this one pass shrew? you think say this lady na mumu wey no know difference btw sun and moon?

Heavy g, I think it is better you leave your fiancee and let her be, you were out gallivanting with your "trophy fiancee", and did not care about how she would have felt when you broke her heart, now, you don't see her (fiancee) as a good wife to be and have decided to go after your ex, so you can dump her n pick her up whenever you will. Now, you are angry that you have been betrayed by your friend? Your friend saw a good thing and decided to keep it for himself, will you blame him, ? Abeg !!! forget friendship sometimes when it comes to taking a stand for your future, I wish your ex was already married, then I would have known if you will go on with the wedding or not, you are double minded now because you have an option, now you are thinking of breaking another heart, abegiiiiii, mtchew, nonsense

Oh dia!
Not again.
Is love by force?

190:

SMH

Ivynwa has totally lost it, Shaking my head

Never mind Sweetie, it's a pity Mukina refused to have me (that hardly curse) curse in NL for the first time.
Can you imagine that? Babe picked the wrong playmate. Hope she stays on course now and respect others. One love! 

lmaoooo!!

kandiikane:

lmaoooo!!

*shrugs*

190
Nnaa I should take off my goodly-two-shoes and try cursing more often, it was so free-ing when I did that. The only thing is that it's too ghetto and streetwise for a lady to curse but at a very good time a sophisticated lil bit of it is necessary. 

@Mr. Heavy G.
I just read that part about you being a quivering mass of emotions and truly felt for you, we shouldn't be hard on you dearie. You have received great advice from good heads so far and you need to take time off and chill it down a bit so that you can pull yourself together.
Choosing a spouse to marry is a very big decision that can make or mar a man or a woman. You are supposed to have smiles and happiness when that wedding day arrives and not treading in trepidations and having feelings like "what am I getting into?" as you seem to be having right now. Do take care of yourself and your emotions.

Do let me add this for you, the fact that your fiancee is high maintenance is not enough to mark her bad. If she isn't a person with bad/dirty and disgusting behaviour, there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look her best (I agree it has to be within her means). A certain celebrity once said that her mother taught her that a woman should be a chef in the kitchen, a queen in the parlour and a w.hore in the bedroom. I agree with that to some extent, here the word w.hore was not used in the negative sense. The statement simply meant that a wife is supposed to be a balanced female that can take care of her responsibilities in the kitchen, housekeep very well, dress well and satisfy her husband in the bedroom. (emphasis on wife not girlfriend-o-o)

If a woman is taking exceptional care of herself, it is still within the boundary of feminity. The only thing here is that she spends without being sensitive to your feelings towards that, if that is remedied you don't seem to have much problem. All in all, you are the one that knows the other places it pinches you.