Mercychen:
You're playing with fire!

Why did you go ahead and toy with his feelings by getting so close and doing those stuff for him when you knew you won't marry him?

Why did you go forming a bond you knew you won't maintain in the first place?
You're cooking, shopping and frolicking with a man and expect him not to feel attached to you in the end? Or you think it's only sex that attach people together?

I bet you knew what you were playing at all along. You were simply enjoying the moment and that feeling of " Im being dragged by two men" got into you and you felt cool at the time. Or should I say, LONG THROAT for what you'll gain from him after the cooking and shopping made you condescend so low and got yourself into such a mess. I pity you!

Youre still there thinking if you should help a wounded lion heal, When What you should in fact do is run and be watching your back as that man can harm you if he sees that he cant have you in the end.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

Stop toying with people's emotions. It's witchcraft.

U don talk am finish. My candid advice is to involve ur family and equally make him see reason to let go. Go and marry. U need to be careful with how u toy with peoples emotion. Infact, someday u need to become a motivational speaker on telling girls not to play with peoples emotion. U chop and clean mouth, so enjoy ur cruise

Shior

cococandypost=107568799:
Lol. Did his wife ask you to help him?
Some of you are just funny.

Big brother ko.
If you want to help him, tell his wife what’s been going on. Let her handle it

As in eh. You took the words out of my mouth. Big brother indeed. A man that asked her out and she's still saying he didn't define what he wanted. Cock and bull story. We resemble children for her eyes.

The man is hurting obviously because of the money he spent on her which she acknowledged. Some men are stupid. You allow a girl chop you mugu for nothing. Shame on the man

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

How can a man who is not related to you be a big bro/ benefactor? and even you said he had asked you out in ty past,why not drop him back then? Very few man can be a benefactor to a non relative without the intent to date even if married! And how many of his relatives has he been a big brother to?

DICKstractor:



Give him kpekus let him chop before you marry. Atleast you won't be the one committing adultery but him

lol indeed your name is dickstractor ....

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Why would you tell him that you are single and I can't marry a married man, and then laugh laugh about it. It shows that you were not serious about what you said.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

Why will you be so close to a man, you have no relation or no intention to have relations with? It doesn't make any sense? How do you explain your relationship to your mum, siblings and family members? In my family, even as a young man, bringing a girl to my house was a taboo, unless when I got old enough for marriage. Once I brought a girl home, she was already considered my wife. What kind of family welcomes an older married man to visit their daughter in the house?

You help him out with his cooking and shopping? Why? What happened to his wife and family members? Was his wife aware you were doing "wife duties" for her husband. Even if we take your word for it that there was no physical cheating, what you did was emotional cheating, which is as bad. This was because you denied his wife and children his attention and emotional bonding.

You knew he loved you and never stopped asking you out, you continued encouraging him for 4 years. Why? Most probably because you and your family were exploiting the emotional vulnerable man for financial benefits.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

How did you introduce him to your boyfriend and now fiancee? I am sure as an uncle. If you told your boyfriend the truth, he would have insisted you stop the relationship or he leaves. I am sure he would suspect you or he would frown at you exploiting the man. To me you were manipulative and wicked.

Make sure you tell your fiancee everything before the marruage, so you two can deal with the issue to avoid trust issues. The foundation of a good marriage is trust.

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

The day you ought to cut him off was the very first or at least the second time he asked you out. What kind of a man who doesn't respect his vows do you keep as a friend? Nawa for you. Soft heartedness could destroy your life and his.

BobbieZion:
Keep him as a Friend,and I mean a very good friend that he has been.
Let him know your stance...and that you are getting married.

Don't push him off,I know u like him very much,only that he is married?

Don't do as others say u should,from what u said ,he is a good person... Such people hardly come by.
He is a Loyal friend,keep him.
If u want to fxck him,do it.
And let everybody .... Fxck off with their advice.

Mo gbe

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

You're both idiots lolz

Why you no call yourself anabelle04-044-0214... olosho werey

If the man wife pour you acid now e go be like say she do bad thing

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

it's too early to be confuse. You haven't decided what you want. No be today we don dey see una type! You better go tell that married man (past husband) say it is over with him and also inform your current husband about your past husband if not; na yourself you go blame for wetin go happen when you don fully start with this current one. Say no to Married men and Sugar Daddy! I get why!

Jahwinaboy:
U don talk am finish. My candid advice is to involve ur family and equally make him see reason to let go. Go and marry. U need to be careful with how u toy with peoples emotion. Infact, someday u need to become a motivational speaker on telling girls not to play with peoples emotion. U chop and clean mouth, so enjoy ur cruise

Gbam!

Forget about him and focus in your marriage. That man is just there to ruin your happiness.

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

And yet you still didn't cut him off after he asked you out severally. Which kind big bro and lil sis story you dey tell us so?

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

Sometimes I feel like slapping a lot of you guys with these your crazy attitudes and wanting people to tell you what you already know and can do.

First, when a man or a woman asks you out and you are not interested, start from day one to avoid him or her.

Again, what's your business that a married wants to kill himself?

Face your life and let him kill himself. His blood is not on your head. Simple.

Shalommy:
Forget about him and focus in your marriage. That man is just there to ruin your happiness.

How is the man ruining her happiness? Is it not the lady that is ruining his happiness?

Please run away from him.He is forming been hurt to sleep with you.He is married for goodness sake.I repeat dont go to his house again.Dont join the queue of People sleeping with other men a day to their wedding.The best way for the man to heal is for you to distance yourself from him.

Annabelle12344
No ounce of pity for the man.

It's partly your fault for stringing him on. A firm no would have been sufficed. If his wife knew, do you think she'd be happy with you?

Anyway,I'm proud of you for the fact you didn't give him.

No need to feel bad. He's irresponsible. He wants to ruin his home and bring punishment from God unto you (Read Hebrew 13:4).

He might still look for you after you're married. This will really enrage your husband but your family can protect you from any backlash, knowing nothing transpired.

Happy married life

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

There is no friendship between a married man and a single lady.

You should have cut him off since and I guess your family accommodated him due to the benefits as no family should ever support such.

Put yourself in his wife’s shoes...Oh good thing you are also getting married. Let’s see how you’d be happy to see your hubby and bestie go shopping together and even let her choose your wears.

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

If na me,, I for don end this friendly-situationship long long time ago

OChimex:


Sometimes I feel like slapping a lot of you guys with these your crazy attitudes and wanting people to tell you what you already know and can do.

First, when a man or a woman asks you out and you are not interested, start from day one to avoid him or her.

Again, what's your business that a married wants to kill himself?

Face your life and let him kill himself. His blood is not on your head. Simple.

It seems you don't understand the nature of Nigerian girls. Nigerians girls usually start out by doing shakara before they eventually agree to date you. They expect you to beg, spend tons of money on them and meet their whole family before they agree to a relationship. Some believe in making the guy work hard to get them to prove they are not cheap. The man probably thought the lady was playing hard to get.

Madam Anabel
I feel like putting the whole blame on you.
Yunno the man is married and you still accept the emotional intimacy, am sure is wife is not aware of your big bro and small sister closeness

Imagine she is aware, what do you think will happen
Even at this point, due to your words, the man as been showing interest many times to date and eat your pussy or marry you and naso his own marriage go dey shake

Now, you are getting married, imagine your husband gets a small sister elsewhere too and he is wounded emotional,

Can you imagine how he will act to you when he got home ?

You shouldn't have given in into that much intimacy and you should have end the relationship after his many trial to date you

Stop the fucking relationship let him be hurt emotional, he will be healed by his wife

Do you know you have made the man love for his wife reduce?
Imagine you are the wife



Explain to the man, and end the relationship that day

I had to login to tell you this, am 100% sure your mind is playing you. See am sure the man is just hurt because he was unable to bed you. See if care is not taken, you will visit thinking he is hurt and he will have sex with you. See you will destroy your marriage before getting married self. Avoid the man like plague, don't let him play you, you will regret it later if you have sex with him just because you thought you owe him. You owe him nothing.

wirinet:

How is the man ruining her happiness? Is it not the lady that is ruining his happiness?

He's playing mind game with her. And if she's not smart enough, she'll have problem in her marriage while the man marriage will go on smoothly.

How some women find it comfortable having anything doing with a married man still baffles me.
Doing stuff together when you know his wife is somewhere waiting for his return innocently.
Now ua getting married,how would you feel if by chance work take your husband out of town,how would you feel if you find out that one random girl is cooking, shopping and visiting him?.

Ua not a good person.

. *He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.*

How are we sure you are saying the truth

After you chop hin money wey e suppose dey send give his wife and family finish

Though, if a married man is to close to you like that without sexual intimacy

He has a problem with his wife... Tell him to go readjust with her

DhanBaba:
Madam Anabel
I feel like putting the whole blame on you.
Yunno the man is married and you still accept the emotional intimacy, am sure is wife is not aware of your big bro and small sister closeness

Imagine she is aware, what do you think will happen
Even at this point, due to your words, the man as been showing interest many times to date and eat your pussy or marry you and naso his own marriage go dey shake

Now, you are getting married, imagine your husband gets a small sister elsewhere too and he is wounded emotional,

Can you imagine how he will act to you when he got home ?

You shouldn't have given in into that much intimacy and you should have end the relationship after his many trial to date you

Stop the fucking relationship let him be hurt emotional, he will be healed by his wife

Do you know you have made the man love for his wife reduce?
Imagine you are the wife



Explain to the man, and end the relationship that day

my dear u typed my thought.
some girls are shameless.
Any woman doing stuff with a married man is wicked bc definitely the love and closeness to d wife will reduce.

Shalommy:
Forget about him and focus in your marriage. That man is just there to ruin your happiness.

I don't think that's the best way..She needs to put closure to that relationship otherwise, people deals differently with emotional hurt and that man might do something drastic..She too need to tell the husband to be about him so that they can deal with it together. Moving on like nothing happen may or may not be catastrophic

dahnimoh:
. *He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.*

How are we sure you are saying the truth

she is enjoying the attention and care from someone's man without sex.
Even without sex she is not innocent.

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

You claim you never had anything to do with him sexually, what about emotionally? Why become a bestie to a married man, does his wife know you are her husband's bestie? Would u become best friends with another man after you get married?

I know for a fact you are hiding some truths from us here cos it's not common for a single lady and a married man to frolick with each other for years and you act as if it was all platonic...

Shalommy:
He's playing mind game with her. And if she's not smart enough, she'll have problem in her marriage while the man marriage will go on smoothly.

He is playing mind games? How did you reach that conclusion from the OP's post. The man said what he wanted from the word go. He did not lie about his marital status. Even though she said no, but she laughed about it. He strung the man on for 4 years, accepting gifts and money from him and occasionally going to shop and cook for him. Now all of a sudden, she tells him she is off to get married? Now who is manipulating who?
Will she continue the relationship with him after she marries?

M