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Please I'm At A Crossroad - Family - Nairaland

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Please I'm At A Crossroad by Alaji1220: 4:34pm On Nov 20, 2021
I need a very reasonable advice from this wonderful forum.

I got married close to a decade ago and the marriage is blessed with two kids.
Though things were tough at the beginning because wife lost her job and I bore the burden solely for 4 years, we had our st child 5 months after wedding andh the second 2 years later. Lost my job around the time our second kid arrived, we kept struggling with great hope. Around 2017 she connected me with a mam that help with an adhoc work in a recruiting firm, I got their within 2 months I helped madam to secured a marketing job, I managed with the job for like 8 months before it ended. Immediately it ended Madam began to behave funny let's I forget I sold my car to pay for her final year exam and also gave her money to get the certificate all amounting to 250k then. Around 2018 I was thrown back to the labour market and I was shown hell by wife, several calls of men, knew about 4 men through her watssap messages that she had affairs with I always get to see these whenever she fell asleep with her phone in her hand. 2019 I got back on my feet and I noticed she stopped the runs. Meanwhile she made so much money during the period of her escapades because of clients deposit that earned her bonuses at work but squadder a huge sum on travelings which were unsuccessful. She joined another financial institution this year and she handles client that need loan, 2 months after securing the job she started talking of getting car ordinarily I would have discouraged her but being someone that is always resolute in her decision making I quickly wade in so as to safe her from men that may want to take advantage of her as this has happened before I tried to inquire about the source of fund for the car she said she liase with a client to take loan that she will only pay back the principal portion that the client will pay the interest and she will be using all her salary to pay back, before we got the car I told her to go for a lesser car like 700k but she said it's 1m she budget for Nigeria used Toyota Corolla. But since we have got the car madam is so stressed up financially while I take care of all the bills even before she got the car she has not be helpful in the area of bill but only buy food stuff whenever she feels like but since she got the car she's still pestering me to be funding the maintenance of the car she drives to work everyday. I saw her chat with a man like 3 months ago and from the chart she was wooing the man for financial assistance, they arrange a meeting which I'm sure something must have transpired between them I confronted her and she promised not to see him again, my main pro is that in her new office some people around there know me we carried out maintenance work on the car recently that got her to online loan debt and I can observe that she was connecting with some men again for financial help, I got some messages confirming her promiscuity again and I confronted her she began to raise excuse here and there I was so mad with her that she thought I will beat her but thank God I didn't though we kept away from each other for 3 days but on getting home yesterday I discovered she had packed her loads and kids loads and left for her parents house and this should be her 4th time of doing this whenever we have misunderstanding. I love my kids but her attitude is making me to gradually loose the the love I have for these kids. I reported her to her mum she was kneeling down and begging me yesterday but for how long I'm I going to continue with this woman...

Please I need advice that will guide my decision, I only fear for those innocent kids future because she doesn't seem to care about their present well being though she claims all she is doing is to process traveling to secure their future.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by ahnie: 4:41pm On Nov 20, 2021
Zobo wey enter glasscup na red wine he bi be that.










If what is bigger than a barn is seen...then the barn would be sold.

6 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Davash222(m): 4:44pm On Nov 20, 2021
It's only a foolish man that will forgive a cheating a wife.

God, please don't let me come to the level of tolerating my wife having intimate chats or conversation with another man.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by ahnie: 4:49pm On Nov 20, 2021
On behalf of isoko women....i'm disappointed in you.your wife is fucking around selling sex to highest bidders like someone working in a dredging company.



The reason why you are not progressive is because of your wife's banging outside.

19 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Tallesty1(m): 4:52pm On Nov 20, 2021
I don't understand the kinda men we have these days.

Your wife is sleeping around whenever she's broke and you're still with her? Really?

Nah when she finally kills you to have her way you go get sense.

Anyways I just say make I tell you that you're the only one married in this unah union.

You're married to her but she ain't married to you.

Get sense.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by pocohantas(f): 4:59pm On Nov 20, 2021
Tallesty1:
I don't understand the kinda men we have these days.

Your wife is sleeping around whenever she's broke and you're still with her? Really?

Nah when she finally kills you to have her way you go get sense.

Anyways I just say make I tell you that you're the only one married in this unah union.

You're married to her but she ain't married to you. Get sense.

See ehn, I have gotten to understand that all this fire and brimstones we rain is because we never dey faced with the matter. Let’s not pray to meet temptation that is more than us because no one marries with the plan of ending it after years of suffering together, not forgetting the kids.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Kobojunkie: 5:00pm On Nov 20, 2021
Alaji1220:
we kept away from each other for 3 days but on getting home yesterday I discovered she had packed her loads and kids loads and left for her parents house and this should be her 4th time of doing this whenever we have misunderstanding. I love my kids but her attitude is making me to gradually loose the the love I have for these kids. I reported her to her mum she was kneeling down and begging me yesterday but for how long I'm I going to continue with this woman...

Please I need advice that will guide my decision, I only fear for those innocent kids future because she doesn't seem to care about their present well being though she claims all she is doing is to process traveling to secure their future.
Advise to guide what decision though? You have yet to state exactly what it is you want to happen. undecided

She packed her load go her parent's house, have confirmed that this is where she is infact headed with your kids? undecided

As for the kids, how can you say you are gradually losing love for your own flesh and blood? They are victims of the problem in your marriage and not part of the problem so why even think of making them pay for any of this by trying to withhold your love from them? undecided

You know the situation better than anyone else and so whatever you decide, you should be willing and ready to bear the consequences. undecided

4 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Tallesty1(m): 5:10pm On Nov 20, 2021
pocohantas:


See ehn, I have gotten to understand that all this fire and brimstones we rain is because we never dey faced with the matter. Let’s not pray to meet temptation that is more than us because no one marries with the plan of ending it after years of suffering together, not forgetting the kids.
You don't cure suffering with suffering or endure suffering to avoid suffering.

This guy is not dealing with a woman who had a one time affair, or a couple of affairs and repented. He's with a woman who cheats whenever she needs money. It has happened and will always happen.

This guy dies, resurrects to die again.

A woman who doesn't contribute to the running of the family.

A woman who treats him like thrash when he doesn't have.

Except the guy is lying, there's no reason a man would want to stay with such a woman. A woman who does what she wants no matter what you say or do, common what's there to hold on to?

12 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by ahnie: 5:10pm On Nov 20, 2021
Madam has duduke'd you.

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Nobody: 5:11pm On Nov 20, 2021
.

3 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by thorpido(m): 5:19pm On Nov 20, 2021
Don't lose your love for your kids because of their mother.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by pocohantas(f): 5:25pm On Nov 20, 2021
Tallesty1:
You don't cure suffering with suffering or endure suffering to avoid suffering.

This guy is not dealing with a woman who had a one time affair, or a couple of affairs and repented. He's with a woman who cheats whenever she needs money. It has happened and will always happen.

This guy dies, resurrects to die again.

A woman who doesn't contribute to the running of the family.

A woman who treats him like thrash when he doesn't have.

Except the guy is lying, there's no reason a man would want to stay with such a woman. A woman who does what she wants no matter what you say or do, common what's there to hold on to?

Strange things are happening. She fit get im mumu button. grin

4 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by gasparpisciotta: 5:29pm On Nov 20, 2021
I understand that you may tolerate her for the sake of your children to make them a little more matured before ending the marriage.

A promiscuous wife is slow poison, she will be your end.

Be selfish for once, concentrate on improving yourself so long as you have a good background.

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by bjprodint1: 5:39pm On Nov 20, 2021
If na my village woman,she 4 don run mad,d husband wey know say him wife dey cheat and still dey chop her food 4 don die.its an abomination 4 a woman 2 use d money she got from sleeping with other men 2 cook 4 her husband(my village o).

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Tallesty1(m): 5:41pm On Nov 20, 2021
pocohantas:


Strange things are happening. She fit get im mumu button. grin
Every man should locate and remove this mumu button abeg.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Tallesty1(m): 5:43pm On Nov 20, 2021
bjprodint1:
If na my village woman,she 4 don run mad,d husband wey know say him wife dey cheat and still dey chop her food 4 don die.its an abomination 4 a woman 2 use d money she got from sleeping with other men 2 cook 4 her husband[b] (my village o)[/b] .
Where's that?
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by waywardpikin: 5:53pm On Nov 20, 2021
pocohantas:


See ehn, I have gotten to understand that all this fire and brimstones we rain is because we never dey faced with the matter. Let’s not pray to meet temptation that is more than us because no one marries with the plan of ending it after years of suffering together, not forgetting the kids.

Nuff said.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by waywardpikin: 6:03pm On Nov 20, 2021
Tallesty1:
You don't cure suffering with suffering or endure suffering to avoid suffering.

This guy is not dealing with a woman who had a one time affair, or a couple of affairs and repented. He's with a woman who cheats whenever she needs money. It has happened and will always happen.

This guy dies, resurrects to die again.

A woman who doesn't contribute to the running of the family.

A woman who treats him like thrash when he doesn't have.

Except the guy is lying, there's no reason a man would want to stay with such a woman. A woman who does what she wants no matter what you say or do, common what's there to hold on to?

He obviously enables her, unless you want to deny the facts stipulated in the original post. He depends on her and has a weak backbone.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 6:09pm On Nov 20, 2021
You married a whõre! Nothing can change her. You can only keep her if you got more money!

She ain't even for keeps, anyways.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 6:10pm On Nov 20, 2021
Tallesty1:
I don't understand the kinda men we have these days.

Your wife is sleeping around whenever she's broke and you're still with her? Really?

Nah when she finally kills you to have her way you go get sense.

Anyways I just say make I tell you that you're the only one married in this unah union.

You're married to her but she ain't married to you.

Get sense.

Most married men in his shoes don't always have the courage to leave the marriage. Weak men!

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by pocohantas(f): 6:11pm On Nov 20, 2021
Tallesty1:
Where's that?

You wan go marry for that side? cheesy

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by waywardpikin: 6:11pm On Nov 20, 2021
InTheCloudySky:
She's sleeping with other men yet she's the one who is angry with you and has packed her loads to her parents' house for the 4th time? I guess she wants you to come and beg her so that she can come back to you to continue her escapades. The manipulation.

Basically.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by waywardpikin: 6:15pm On Nov 20, 2021
bjprodint1:
If na my village woman,she 4 don run mad,d husband wey know say him wife dey cheat and still dey chop her food 4 don die.its an abomination 4 a woman 2 use d money she got from sleeping with other men 2 cook 4 her husband(my village o).

Tell 'em.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Tallesty1(m): 6:17pm On Nov 20, 2021
pocohantas:


You wan go marry for that side? cheesy
So that you will track her down and change her mind.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by waywardpikin: 6:18pm On Nov 20, 2021
NarcissistKing:
You married a whõre! Nothing can change her. You can only keep her if you got more money!

She ain't even for keeps, anyways.

You said it already, such a woman isn't worth keeping.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Klass99(f): 6:21pm On Nov 20, 2021
.

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 6:21pm On Nov 20, 2021
waywardpikin:


You said it already, such a woman isn't worth keeping.

Nobody can keep a whõre. There's always someone richer than you, so she's available to the highest bidder(s).

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Saintmary(f): 6:35pm On Nov 20, 2021
This your story get as e be.

You have been dealing with an adulterous wife for a long time.

How are you even sure the kids are yours?

Didn't anyone tell you that adultery is a valid reason for divorce?

Why have you wrapped yourself around your marriage so much that you don't even have an identity of your own?

Did you open up to any of your family members about this?
Alaji1220:
I need a very reasonable advice from this wonderful forum.

I got married close to a decade ago and the marriage is blessed with two kids.
Though things were tough at the beginning because wife lost her job and I bore the burden solely for 4 years, we had our st child 5 months after wedding andh the second 2 years later. Lost my job around the time our second kid arrived, we kept struggling with great hope. Around 2017 she connected me with a mam that help with an adhoc work in a recruiting firm, I got their within 2 months I helped madam to secured a marketing job, I managed with the job for like 8 months before it ended. Immediately it ended Madam began to behave funny let's I forget I sold my car to pay for her final year exam and also gave her money to get the certificate all amounting to 250k then. Around 2018 I was thrown back to the labour market and I was shown hell by wife, several calls of men, knew about 4 men through her watssap messages that she had affairs with I always get to see these whenever she fell asleep with her phone in her hand. 2019 I got back on my feet and I noticed she stopped the runs. Meanwhile she made so much money during the period of her escapades because of clients deposit that earned her bonuses at work but squadder a huge sum on travelings which were unsuccessful. She joined another financial institution this year and she handles client that need loan, 2 months after securing the job she started talking of getting car ordinarily I would have discouraged her but being someone that is always resolute in her decision making I quickly wade in so as to safe her from men that may want to take advantage of her as this has happened before I tried to inquire about the source of fund for the car she said she liase with a client to take loan that she will only pay back the principal portion that the client will pay the interest and she will be using all her salary to pay back, before we got the car I told her to go for a lesser car like 700k but she said it's 1m she budget for Nigeria used Toyota Corolla. But since we have got the car madam is so stressed up financially while I take care of all the bills even before she got the car she has not be helpful in the area of bill but only buy food stuff whenever she feels like but since she got the car she's still pestering me to be funding the maintenance of the car she drives to work everyday. I saw her chat with a man like 3 months ago and from the chart she was wooing the man for financial assistance, they arrange a meeting which I'm sure something must have transpired between them I confronted her and she promised not to see him again, my main pro is that in her new office some people around there know me we carried out maintenance work on the car recently that got her to online loan debt and I can observe that she was connecting with some men again for financial help, I got some messages confirming her promiscuity again and I confronted her she began to raise excuse here and there I was so mad with her that she thought I will beat her but thank God I didn't though we kept away from each other for 3 days but on getting home yesterday I discovered she had packed her loads and kids loads and left for her parents house and this should be her 4th time of doing this whenever we have misunderstanding. I love my kids but her attitude is making me to gradually loose the the love I have for these kids. I reported her to her mum she was kneeling down and begging me yesterday but for how long I'm I going to continue with this woman...

Please I need advice that will guide my decision, I only fear for those innocent kids future because she doesn't seem to care about their present well being though she claims all she is doing is to process traveling to secure their future.
Please go and meet a psychologist or you should go for deliverance.

It's either you're under psychological manipulation or spiritual manipulation.

3 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by izzou(m): 6:40pm On Nov 20, 2021
I really don't want to dwell much on the issue you have, but what annoys me is why your wife would run to her parents' house whenever there's a misunderstanding.

And what kind of parent would keep their child at home? When it's not a case of domestic violence?

If my future wife tries it just once, that would be the last time she'll step a foot in my apartment.

Very disgusting attitude

5 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by tensazangetsu20(m): 6:51pm On Nov 20, 2021
The greatest misfortune that can ever befall a man is poverty chei lipsrsealed.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Ishilove: 6:53pm On Nov 20, 2021
'Our' wife.

Òlòbò molue. Anybody can enter.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by crackhaus: 6:59pm On Nov 20, 2021
tensazangetsu20:
The greatest misfortune that can ever befall a man is poverty chei lipsrsealed.
The greatest misfortune that can befall a man is being with the wrong woman.

Poverty is nothing compared to that.

8 Likes 3 Shares

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