i suggest he should give her belle, then she should go with that one. LMAO. Afterall, people are only talking of the man here. don't you think the woman is scared too for her marriage? 

Inability to communicate. Lack of planning and consideration. Career first. All symptomatic of a failed humanity. That's the beginning pf the end of that marriage.

Reference:

Inability to communicate. Lack of planning and consideration. Career first. All symptomatic of a failed humanity. That's the beginning pf the end of that marriage.

The man can just move with her to save the marriage.  It's no big deal. There may be better jobs there.

well, it depends which is top priority for them - marriage or job outside her country home. No doubt distance 'kills' relationships.

People where are your sense logic in the first place? A lady got married and a year on she lands this dream job in a foreign country. And the question of should I stay in my marriage or toss it for my career pops up. Well simple anwser; the marriage was just a spare option, someone up there feels he is about to lose one of his acquisitions and therefore the best option is keep her stocked away where he can still maintain his authority. The hubby should just let go and find himself a wife and not a woman. Basta
Usually a typical Nigerian wife will be more interested in raising a family first after marriage and not career; hubby rich or poor. This character in this picture is not for real rather a mere time bomb. Like I earlier said the hubby shld go nd find himself a wife and not a woman.

I second the motion joh!!

Let the wife ask this question: if the roles were swapped, would the guy stay back?

Obviously not so in my own opinion, I would tell the guy to take a hike. If he loves her he would agree,

On the other hand, if she goes and the dude stays back in Nigeria, she shouldn't complain if Lagos chicks start to cream her husband.

Distance is a great causer of infidelity coz I bet that chick will do runs too.

Why can't he just follow her? Problem solved. Chikena.

Seun:

The man can just move with her to save the marriage.  It's no big deal.  There may be better jobs there.

No doubt Seun but the fact it poses a question means they are not communicating, have not planned forward and are weighing two things that are not comparable. Most of us want everything. Wisdom is knowing limits and the fortitude to accepting what you can be and what you never will. Hollywood for instance is filled with men and women so high on their careers everything comes second and we are all too familiar with the results. Nothing bad if it is a corporate choice. The fact that hubby or wife has issues with your important choices means your courtship or lack of it has been a waste of time. That union has no future beyond pretense, cheating and stress. Love is all about sacrifice and marriage is an extension of it. For a newly wedded couple to have issues with this basic and fundamental question is really puzzling. What then are you wedded for. The man is to complement the woman and the woman the man. This couple is battling to stay apart.

If the marriage is still very young-say less than 5yrs, it will be very dangerous for any of the parties involved to be distanced from the other. A solid marriage requires a strong foundation-they both have to take time to build first before such moves can be made. If not, the whole thing could crumble and they both could become strangers to each other after that 5yrs cos there's no solid ground underneath,

Mrmik:

People where are your sense logic in the first place? A lady got married and a year on she lands this dream job in a foreign country. And the question of should I stay in my marriage or toss it for my career pops up. Well simple anwser; the marriage was just a spare option, someone up there feels he is about to lose one of his acquisitions and therefore the best option is keep her stocked away where he can still maintain his authority. The hubby should just let go and find himself a wife and not a woman. Basta
Usually a typical Nigerian wife will be more interested in raising a family first after marriage and not career; hubby rich or poor. This character in this picture is not for real rather a mere time bomb. Like I earlier said the hubby shld go nd find himself a wife and not a woman.

its funny/amazing how you automatically view this dream job as "tossing the marriage aside". i guess your male ego is in the way of your common sense.
here is a fact: i doubt this wifey started looking for such jobs AFTER marriage, therefore, no doubt that hubby knew of her high intentions all along, he simply didnt have faith in her getting successful.

you have already lost the plot the minute you wrote that a Nigerian wife would be more interested in raising a family than career. but hey, he should have thought about that while dating her.

Okay lemmie clarify this. since its a couple I know of and they are in church.The lady was working/studying too while they dated with the hope of advancing careerwise.

1. The man can't leave his secure job however low paying to go be a house husband.What guarantee is there tht he will get a job,dont 4get its only  a 5 year contract so giving up on his job isnt easy.And who said he cant be promoted??

2.Imagine what would happen if the wife doesnt go.Will you as a man live wth the guilt of having let a dream career for your spouse fly away Dont u think she will keep blaming you and reminding you of that for the rest of your life

3.Suppose you struggle financially.She wil always use that to justify herself.Now tht can really weigh down a man.

4.They dont live in Nigeria but Africa.

Do you think if Jennifer Anniston has the chance to go back and change her decision to put her career before having a family with Brad Pitt?

If the wife wants to go, please let her go, but she should be shocked if she gets back and someone has taken her place

I Corin 7

.Imagine what would happen if the wife doesnt go.Will you as a man live wth the guilt of having let a dream career for your spouse fly away

Nope!!!!!!!!

@ babyboy.assume it was the other way round.Would you let go that dream job to stay home and raise family? Are you really sure you will nevr regret it especially when the 'honeymoon is over ,no more lovely dovey feeling.When you have a kid that you cant afford to pay fees cz the money aint enough for etc etc.
It would take a REAL MAN to bear that.

The woman can go if she wants to and therein after face the consequences while the man can also stick to whatever decision he likes and faces the consequences likewise. On the other hand they can both work something out which satisfies both parties. It is a very big shame that they are both christians though and they cannot resolve this in a Godly manner and have even gone to the extent of sleeping on different beds.

@Poster . . . Since they are Christians, please tell the wife to read and meditate on this bible passages, 

Ecclesiastes 1,  and 1 john 2, 17.

I Corinthians 13 that talks about love which both of them should study and the golden rule christian principle.

@ Pharoh,
Have you ever been in a place where the word of God doesnt seem to make sense? It happens at times when we want an excuse to justify our actions.
In marriage there comes that time when things get soo bad thet nothing makes sense and you dont really care.
She also has scriptures to justify herself same to the hubby.Its a scripture versus scripture battle. Each claims God is on their side.

The husband should let the woman pursue her dreams.

J12:

The husband should let the woman pursue her dreams.

The woman may or not be in a cage for all we know. Perhaps (and I can only speculate) they have shared certain aspirations and dreams and suddenly something comes out of the blues so the reaction may be one of "but we have agreed on this so why this now." or perhaps they don't know anything about each other and the only thing that holds them together is money, earnings, how much they bring to the table. One thing is certain before they decide to bring any child into their "yet to be settled lives" they'd better sit down and consider carefully the implications of adding yet another problem to our over-strained social fabric.

@ upendo 98

A woman is meant to support a man's dream,

Have you ever been in a place where the word of God doesnt seem to make sense?

Really!!!!!!!!! show me?

@Upendo 98

I see and well i think the purpose of this thread is to seek for useful advice or solutions and for others to learn one or two things if they face similar or some other kind of dicey situations. Most African or Nigerian man will not accept such arrangements, living apart even if they can sometimes accept the reality of the wife having more income than them.

There is a reason why we have a culture that defines the way we should live our life and they really help a lot in solving our problems. The issue we have today is that, we are embracing the western life style at a rapid  and even trying  to dump our culture at a more speedy rate. Before anybody term me to be primitive like the typical African man. I should say we live in the modern times and am in support of both the woman and man doing whatever they want.

To pursue your career, to cheat, to marry more than one wife, to have one or gazillion of kids but we sure do need  somethings in all these when it comes to marriage. They are understanding, sacrifice, compromise,  etc and where these factors cannot be applied to solve our issues then we should talk any actions we deem fit and live with the consequences. The man or the woman should do what feels right in his or her mind and take whatever comes out of it at the end of the day.

@pharo

Yes,

When for instance a woman barren say for 20 years finally after much prayer and fasting conceives.Then the baby dies a month after birth !!
Now at that moment though shes christian, God's words and promises dont make much sense.Now that dont mean that she has lost faith or God is a liar.
It just shows how frail we are as humans.
eg.When you lose all your family members at one go yet all of you were firm believers. Does anything make sense at thet time? No
But God doesnt change either.He remains sitted on the throne. Tht is what I meant.

op
dere marriage is still early 4 such risk.

It's simple. The lady should make the sacrifice. That way, the husband will love and care for her better, work harder knowing what was given up for him. Besides, you never can tell what the husband is scared of. Distance apart could cripple the marriage not only from the side of the husband, but also possible from the side of the wife. Money is not every thing, but happy home is. The wife should be contended and aim for happy home than mere wealth. What will she gain if after she got all the wealth and losses the happiness of a united home? Above all, the couple should seek the face of the almighty for guidance.

@upendo, i tink d best solution 2 diz problem is, lyk i said b4, d man shld move wif her. However considerin wat u've mentioned abt d man nt lykin d idea of being a house-hubby, i've refined it diz way : wat if she 1st leaves n start workin wif d company n den in d 1st few months she actively luks 4 a job 4 her hubby (it might even be @ d company she wrk wif, she kip pesterin her boss abt d fact dat she's married n wants a job 4 her hubby, hopefully wif her connection she might get it) n wen d job clicks, as in, she finally succeeds in gettin him a job, he den move ova 2 join her.

mmh well not a bad idea.really. But look at all the options.A typical man will not want the wife to like 'help 'him get a job when he already got one.Correct me there (its just a thought). its an ego thing.Then picture this. Suppose after all that sweat ,the dude gets promotion at his work place !!!! and decides he cant move!!!

It is either they both go together or they both stay. Women can not be trusted to leave her husband for a long time.
Believe me, she will come across someone who has more swagger than the husband over there and that may means the beginning of the end.
or possibly the end of a supposedly lasting relationship,
A woman with more resources to control at her disposal without the caution of a husband nearby is liable to a lot of temptation and infatuatation.

For the wife to start misbehaving to the tune of abandoning her matrimonial bed and even engaged in malice shows that
she can't be trusted if allowed to carry out her wish.

She suppose to compose herself and even be sober to convince her husband that no matter what she will still be a good wife.
just because the husband said no at the beginning does not mean that he can not reconsider later.
but putting on this attitude will make him hardened his heart. which i think may be right

In as much as the marriage is still very young. I support the husband.
God will provide another one. if thats the case. who knows this may be the devil's antics.
Don't you think so

@Upendo, u kip talkin abt d man gettin promoted, if datz a realistic drim, if really he'll get promoted soon, den she shldn't leave. Lyk sum1 said happiness in marital lyf is much more better dan wealth, on dat note, i'll say let dem kip managing 4 nw until wen he gets promoted n he cums home wif an upgraded pay package (which shld b soon). Meanwhile, let her kip searchin 4 jobs within their environs, as far as she kips searchin, job opportunities wil cum up, it wil nw b left 4 her 2 choose d 1 she prefer.

They really need to make a wise decision puting each involve into consideration
Every family has it own needs, in this case they should weigh the pros and cons
Decision shud not jus base on personal interest at all.

The husband should let the wife go, at least, allow her take her life in her own hands, why is he so bent on her staying, "making babies and cooking". So that later, he will see another ambitious woman n follow her, just because she is married does not mean her dreams should be shattered.

WHO HAS THE ADDRESS OF THE UNITED NATIONS?? OR YOU THINK AFRICAN UNION CAN SOLVE THIS??
ANYBODY CAPABLE OF BRINGING KING SOLOMON BACK TO LIFE

if they are living in east africa, then the man should stay back n the wife goes since he does not want to go. I mean rwanda is at most 2 hrs away from the kenya/tanzania.
even buses go there. So he can visit every weekend. And stop saying its just a 5 year contract. it could be extended.