BigBashiru:


This is utter BS. You better reprogram yourself before its too late for you. And who told you men are not programmed to be nurturers too? A father nurturing his children with good character and manners nko?

Most of you are just looking for excuses to dump all financial responsibility on the man but that era is long gone. You must be bringing something (something significant oh).

Another case in point, as a bachelor, i went to work, cooked and cleaned my house and nurtured my younger brothers; so after marriage which nurturing you wan come do? Omo better go and find something small you can be doing to contribute your 40% to the house.

Now, about nuturing. Are you saying a woman who takes care of the home and does her chores well isn't doing something significant already? She'll still have to accommodate all your madness in the other room as well o.

faithfull18:

Thank you, most men wouldn't survive for a month.

Women deserve serious appreciation.

They do the work of cook, this is some people's career for crying out loud, they are paid for it.

They do laundry, some people's full time job.

They take care of children - Nannies are heavily paid in the west, it's a full time job.

They clean the house, mehn, let's not get started.

All these in addition to holding down full time jobs and businesses.

If you doing all these alone for yourself, it's not easy not to talk about caring and cleaning after 2 and more.

If we swap gender roles, most men can't survive. Women deserve everything good abeg.

Nice twisting of words. Everything you wrote here, a woman does for herself before she got married, so will these duties dissappear because you're married or suddenly becomes harder? Of course not. Will you also tell me that household choirs is more difficult now, than let's say hundred years ago? Of course not. Technology made these things easy.

I'm not sure which universe you live in, but the one I live in, men do these things, and it's not hard. Infact today, it took me less than two hours to do all these things and guess what? It doesn't kill. There is no such thing as housework death, but there is of course, a thing knows as workplace death, and men are the overwhelming majority.

Yes they pay for laundary, cooking, cleaning etc, but they also pay to change car tyre, lift heavy loads like chairs, repair stuff, secure you if needed, and so much more. Because men don't complain about doing these things doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You paint it in such a way that makes its seems like you're a slave in marriage, and I wonder why are women so desperate to go into it than men?

And since its women that choose a man they submit to, why choose an idiot of a man? It's like a man complaining his wife is promiscuous when he choose to marry a prostitute. Vet a man properly before accepting his proposal, and it shall be well with you.

Mariangeles:




The day we all remove the M and the F tags beside our monikers, nairaland will begin to make sense.
Our comments will no longer be judged based on gender, but as our opinions.
Gender hate will decrease drastically.

Hmmm. Right.

Opeyemiextra:
We know that traditionally, women are saddled with the responsibility of running and taking care of the home hence the title home makers while their male counterparts provide what is needed to run the home, hence the title, providers. These roles are taken seriously and failures by either party would be termed as irresponsibility.

But in recent times, we have seen an unprecedented shift and fluidity in these roles and how they are played. Women are now providers and sometimes even breadwinners while men have also been involved in running the home especially with child care. This has generated debates with some still holding on to the traditional role division.

To the reason for this post:
So, most men, at least on this platform, complain of women only wanting them because of what they can bring to the table. If the tables are turned, as a man, would you be a househusband while your wife provides?

Where are you people getting this warped ideas from? It is against the natural order. The man is the provider. The woman is a helpmate.

Pure and simple.

pansophist:


Nice twisting of words. Everything you wrote here, a woman does for herself before she got married, so will these duties dissappear because you're married or suddenly becomes harder? Of course not. Will you also tell me that household choirs is more difficult now, than let's say hundred years ago? Of course not. Technology made these things easy.

I'm not sure which universe you live in, but the one I live in, men do these things, and it's not hard. Infact today, it took me less than two hours to do all these things and guess what? It doesn't kill. There is no such thing as housework death, but there is of course, a thing knows as workplace death, and men are the overwhelming majority.

Yes they pay for laundary, cooking, cleaning etc, but they also pay to change car tyre, lift heavy loads like chairs, repair stuff, secure you if needed, and so much more. Because men don't complain about doing these things doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You paint it in such a way that makes its seems like you're a slave in marriage, and I wonder why are women so desperate to go into it than men?

And since its women that choose a man they submit to, why choose an idiot of a man? It's like a man complaining his wife is promiscuous when he choose to marry a prostitute. Vet a man properly before accepting his proposal, and it shall be well with you.

I really don't want to go this lane with you.

How many men provide 100% and still does chores??

The average woman has a job, business or both, does all these and still contributes financially.

Let's use Nigeria/Nigerians as a case study. Biblically sef, most will refer to Proverbs 31 woman but from most of the families mentioned, they always had helps.

The point is a man cannot do what the average woman does successfully without hiccups.

What of those of us that provide for the family and at times do house chores waiting una go call us

faithfull18:

Thank you, most men wouldn't survive for a month.

Women deserve serious appreciation.

They do the work of cook, this is some people's career for crying out loud, they are paid for it.

They do laundry, some people's full time job.

They take care of children - Nannies are heavily paid in the west, it's a full time job.

They clean the house, mehn, let's not get started.

All these in addition to holding down full time jobs and businesses.

If you doing all these alone for yourself, it's not easy not to talk about caring and cleaning after 2 and more.

If we swap gender roles, most men can't survive. Women deserve everything good abeg.

shut up your mouth there, just shut up that thing you called mouth

Women deserve serious appreciation then what of men?

Unless you are born a bastard you won't understand the stress and pressure men (your father if you even got a father hence your stupid statement) goes through to keep the family at safe and provided for the the family

All those chores mentioned up there can be Don by a push of button (washing machine and the rest)

So what rules do you play as a woman other than to open your smelly vagina for sex

Men are the one who truly deserve appreciation for providing and keeping you safe with all the global and economic stress on we men

Check the sucide rate between men and ya female baboons and see the statistics yourself

Once again! Is only a bastard that will make this foolish statement of yours

womenareapess:
shut up your mouth there, just shut up that thing you called mouth

Women deserve serious appreciation then what of men?

Unless you are born a bastard you won't understand the stress and pressure men (your father if you even got a father hence your stupid statement) goes through to keep the family at safe and provided for the the family

You are very silly, I made my point, make yours.

I see you made no sensible point. If e easy, try it.

micxwell:

Now, about nuturing. Are you saying a woman who takes care of the home and does her chores well isn't doing something significant already? She'll still have to accommodate all your madness in the other room as well o.

You dont understand the point. as a bachelor, i did my chores, now married, i still do my chores... chores are not a big deal... i also cooked when i was single and still cook now that im married.... feeding and taking care of babies is work and that is significant on the part of the woman - that is why i said after each child birth, she takes a leave of absence and i do most of the work at home...

But the idea that im against is that im a woman's cash cow....

frozen70:


Any man that can't provide for his family, should willingly submit himself to be house-husband

Anything short of that will lead to trouble marriage

Who even like this your comment?

BigBashiru:


You dont understand the point. as a bachelor, i did my chores, now married, i still do my chores... chores are not a big deal... i also cooked when i was single and still cook now that im married.... feeding and taking care of babies is work and that is significant on the part of the woman - that is why i said after each child birth, she takes a leave of absence and i do most of the work at home...

But the idea that im against is that im a woman's cash cow....

Simple. You don't buy the idea of a housewife. No matter how little, your wife has to augment the little you make efforts to provide and in turn you'll do your best to assist with the chores and child rearing; right?

womenareapess:
shut up your mouth there, just shut up that thing you called mouth

Women deserve serious appreciation then what of men?

Unless you are born a bastard you won't understand the stress and pressure men (your father if you even got a father hence your stupid statement) goes through to keep the family at safe and provided for the the family

All those chores mentioned up there can be Don by a push of button (washing machine and the rest)

So what rules do you play as a woman other than to open your smelly vagina for sex

Men are the one who truly deserve appreciation for providing and keeping you safe with all the global and economic stress on we men

Check the sucide rate between men and ya female baboons and see the statistics yourself

Once again! Is only a bastard that will make this foolish statement of yours

Like your mama? Her only contribution to the human race was opening her smelly vagina for sex...

Escape menstruation like yourself...

I completely disagree. We Nigerians ONLY focus on money, money, money when it comes to being a provider. That is why we have families in turmoil all over the place.
A man can provide guidance and direction to his children every day, do the school runs twice a day, teach the kids how to take care of themselves and teach them in words and deeds the values and principles that result in living a successful life, and I am not talking about money ( you can live in a room and parlour apartment with your wife and kid in erm say Okokomaiko and still be very successful. It's all about your mindset). It is only in impoverished societies that money becomes the yardstick for everything. Success means being a decent human, a kind, considerate and empathetic individual who respects everyone around him or her regardless of societal status or wealth and someone who is in tune with his creator. That is success. I actually think more men should stay home and provide these for their kids where possible. Look around you. Men are going about trying to make money(what do you guys call it - hustle), sometimes 24/7 and their children end up growing up in the "wild" while having the comfortable things of life. But they become beasts that are eventually unleashed on society. When they gang up and join cults even before they are teenagers and kill their fellow student, we all shout " but he is from a rich home and has been provided for". No! Money and the comforts of life are the very least things that kids need to grow up as well adjusted adults. As for me, I will jump at the opportunity to be a house husband if it presents itself(naturally the woman will be a humble, self respecting and loyal one, else kasala go burst). I have worked at all levels of the corporate world in every continent on earth and I have arrived at the same conclusion the great King Solomon arrived at: it is all in vain! We pursue honour and glory at the expense of the things that truly matter. I'm only glad I understood this while still a young man.

frozen70:


Any man that can't provide for his family, should willingly submit himself to be house-husband

Anything short of that will lead to trouble marriage

Make I See

faithfull18:

You are very silly, I made my point, make yours.

I see you made no sensible point. If e easy, try it.

I made a mistake communicating with a fish minded creature

micxwell:
Simple. You don't buy the idea of a housewife. No matter how little, your wife has to augment the little you make efforts to provide and in turn you'll do your best to assist with the chores and child rearing; right?

Yes she has to augument to start... then later she becomes a housewife... this way she respects money and understands that the process of making it is hard....

Absolutely not.

BigBashiru:


Yes she has to augument to start... then later she becomes a housewife... this way she respects money and understands that the process of making it is hard....

That's my mindset as well.

WHY NOT, AFTER ALL, WHAT A MAN CAN DO, A WOMAN CAN DO BETTER.

Omo see talk, why to carry responsibilities dey hungry this women nowadays, make I no lie, if she decides to wan carry the breadwinner title let her go ahead, more free time for me to pursue small small girls, also I'm high maintenance, if she can take care of my expenses then no wham. RNS

Mariangeles:


I’ve been noticing your comments.
You are the best husband on nairaland.

Thank you for the complement madam

I used to follow your comment too, your comment and response are always top notch

Negroid001:
Ok this is a good one. Depends tho. I like having strong ties with family.
The person that mentored me in animation is a stay at home dad. He does most of his work at home, even has a studio and office at home. He rarely goes out except it's a hangout or family outing thingy. This lifestyle is very okay by me.

As for me, already following that path already, setting up my studio bit by bit at home here. Even now, only proposals, meetings, dates with my girlfriend and once in a while collaborations takes me out. I don't know if my wife would want the stay at home thing and it's fine. I always say its also not compulsory for her to work too. Everything na planning.... As for me, except maybe work demand, I'm cool at home. I don't even like going out.

This is different , the man is working from home. Far far different scenerio. A sensible man with this kind of job will be able to spend more time with his family, time supposed to spend in traffic etc.



@topic all of a sudden people are realizing it's unnatural for a man to be a househusbands, but it can be natural for the wife to provide abi.

The hypocrisy on NL ehn, Thank God real life is different from social media.

Hathor5:


With a newborn?

Yes? Why not?

wunmi590:



Thank you for the complement madam

I used to follow your comment too, your comment and response are always top notch

Thank you.

Bennysam:

Who even like this your comment?

Lol, people like you won't understand the meaning

Ko

NemoDatQuod:
I completely disagree. We Nigerians ONLY focus on money, money, money when it comes to being a provider. That is why we have families in turmoil all over the place.
A man can provide guidance and direction to his children every day, do the school runs twice a day, teach the kids how to take care of themselves and teach them in words and deeds the values and principles that result in living a successful life, and I am not talking about money ( you can live in a room and parlour apartment with your wife and kid in erm say Okokomaiko and still be very successful. It's all about your mindset). It is only in impoverished societies that money becomes the yardstick for everything. Success means being a decent human, a kind, considerate and empathetic individual who respects everyone around him or her regardless of societal status or wealth and someone who is in tune with his creator. That is success. I actually think more men should stay home and provide these for their kids where possible. Look around you. Men are going about trying to make money(what do you guys call it - hustle), sometimes 24/7 and their children end up growing up in the "wild" while having the comfortable things of life. But they become beasts that are eventually unleashed on society. When they gang up and join cults even before they are teenagers and kill their fellow student, we all shout " but he is from a rich home and has been provided for". No! Money and the comforts of life are the very least things that kids need to grow up as well adjusted adults. As for me, I will jump at the opportunity to be a house husband if it presents itself(naturally the woman will be a humble, self respecting and loyal one, else kasala go burst). I have worked at all levels of the corporate world in every continent on earth and I have arrived at the same conclusion the great King Solomon arrived at: it is all in vain! We pursue honour and glory at the expense of the things that truly matter. I'm only glad I understood this while still a young man.

No one is laying emphasis on money in this particular topic

But if you mean to say that money shouldn't come in, how will the children go to school, pay for test books

How possible is it to leave in a tented apartment with our paying rent

How do you get food stuffs and keep for the family without buying it with money

How do you cloth yourself without buy clothes

What else do you think we need at home that we don't need money to buy it

It's still in the same cooky-jar, if you can't hustle to keep the family going be you man or woman, humble yourself and do the house work

emonis88:

Even if dat man agrees to b d house husband , na una go still complain. Our oldmen used to say that any man a woman is feeding, that man il soon grow a hunched back.

A woman is nit meant to keep a man at home and feed him

If a man fashions his life that a woman will feed him in marriage, of course he will grow a hunch back because that's where her food goes

Yes. If my wife can provide all my needs. After all nah she go tired.

jaxxy:


We are know there’s nothing like house husband. It doesn’t exist. Embarrass and degrade ur husband at ur own peril and expense of ur marriage.

A man is not forced into a role that’s unnatural to him, he can only take it if he wants or agrees with it.

Nobody forces a woman to do hard labor jobs/chores in the house.




Go and ask Funke alakija.

It’s funny how rich women have respect for their husbands and gals who make small money want to turn their husbands into houseboys. It’s the marriage that will suffer at the end of ur misadventures.

Mrs Alakija Excelled because her husband gave her the support

Okonjo iweala excelled because her husband gave her all the support she needed

Dora Akunyili excelled because the husband stood by her and gave her the support she needed

All these world powerful women I mentioned, how often do you hear about their husbands

Incase you don't know, such men humbled themselves from day one and gave their wives wings to Soar like eagles and bring fortunes home

udemzyudex:


Wrong,most women will still nag for being the one providing everything even when the husband is a house-husband, we have seen cases of women after providing for some months begin to Insult and do all sort of things to their husband just because they are no the breadwinner of the house.

So how then do you assume anything sort of that will lead to a trouble marriage? The fact is, even if the husband submit himself or not, as long as he is no longer the breadwinner, there will always be trouble.

That's exactly the same reason why men are still struggling till old age because they don't want a woman to play their roles for them, only to still insult them because they can no longer provide

perambulator:

any man that cant provide for his family is not worthy of being a husband. You have to also question a woman willing to marry a man who cant provide.

If every woman doesn't want to marry a man because he can't provide, people will bear children at a very old age, yet the problem isn't solved

Yes a woman can still get married to a man that is yet to get something doing in the condition that the man has vision

The man may he focused but yet to get his bearing

A man gets married and doors starts opening

Any man that is not realy lazy must have something doing no matter how small

frozen70:


Mrs Alakija Excelled because her husband gave her the support

Okonjo iweala excelled because her husband gave her all the support she needed

Dora Akunyili excelled because the husband stood by her and gave her the support she needed

All these world powerful women I mentioned, how often do you hear about their husbands

Incase you don't know, such men humbled themselves from day one and gave their wives wings to Soar like eagles and bring fortunes home

Yes they humbled themselves and supported their wives by their wives humbled themselves too not dictating or controlling the man and home like some of u little girls are bent on trying to do.

These ladies u mention still did and still do their wifey duties despite arriving not telling the man to go to the kitchen since they earn more.

U young ladies should learn and have sense. Marry Sm1 u respect not because of he has more money than u bt for other qualities he’s has.

Don’t F00l with small money than u will insult because u suddenly have more money than him or he’s out of job.