THE DIVINE PURPOSE AND PLAN FOR THE GODLY FAMILY

TEXT: EPHESIANS 5:21-22,28-29,33

* 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
* 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
* 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
* 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
* 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

From the text we have read, the Lord gives us His expectations, stipulations and specification for the Christian family: the husband and the wife in their fellowship and relationship together. The Lord expects that this particular aspect of the word of God which runs from the beginning of the Bible to the end should be taken to heart by every believer and minister. The minister’s family must be according to the standard of the word of God, otherwise, how will he be able to teach effectively what the Lord expects from every family? We have seen the expectations, purpose, plan and prescription of God for every family.

Titus 2:4-5. Elderly women are to teach the younger women. The elderly women must have a good family so that from experience, they can pass their wisdom and knowledge across to the younger wives.

Ephesians 6:1-3. Children are to honour and obey their parents in the Lord that it may be well with them.

A. THE SEVEN PILLARS IN A GODLY FAMILY
Pillars are very important in any building, house or household. If the pillars are destroyed, eaten up by termites and it crumbles, the house or household cannot stand. The Bible is clear about pillars that uphold the family and the household.

Proverbs 9:1. When you look at the family, that is, the united entity, father, mother and the children, for the house to stand unmovable in all the vicissitude of life, to be able to weather the storm, for the seven pillars that sustain the family to remain unshakable, it takes the wisdom of the Lord, not that of the world to build the home.

Understand that when you have seven pillars supporting the family, if just one pillar is missing or destroyed, the solidity and balance of the house will be affected. When five of the pillars are down, it is sure that just two of the pillars cannot hold up the house.

Pillar 1. LOVE - Ephesians 5:25; Titus 2:4-5; Ephesians 4:31-32
This is one of the pillars supporting the family. It must not be one-sided, both should love each other. Some people say wives love naturally and need not be taught how to love, this is not true (Titus 2:4-5) The women leaders in the church who are married and have raised children were commanded to teach the younger wives to be sober, and love their husbands and children. The love must be beyond lip service, it must be genuine, and from the heart.

The wife must be a keeper at home, not one who would leave the home in the morning, and come back late in the night. The couple must always spend time together. Wives must obey their husbands (Ephesians 4:31-32) This is another side of love: the absence of bitterness, malice, bullying and shouting on each other, absence of every negative thing.

Be thoughtful, kind and tender hearted, forgiving and forgetting offenses just like our Heavenly Father. It is a determination we must take, we must be stronger and greater than any termite that will want to eat the pillar of our home (SOS 8:6-7). The love must not be cold and lethargic but fervent and hot like the flames of fire, it must be clear for all to see. Love like the love of Christ which can weather every storm and stand the test of time so that even when some expected things are not yet in the family, you will not allow the flood of criticism from inlaws to drown your love, neither the distraction from other men or women outside the home. The couple must see each other as king and queen and far better than anyone else who might be making them feel that they made a mistake in marrying each other in the first place.

Pillar 2. SELF SACRIFICE - Ephesians 5:25
A stingy man or woman will not make a good family. One of the pillars in the family is self forgetfulness and sacrifice. Thinking about the other person first, ahead of any other person outside the family (Isaiah 58:7) You will not allow your husband, wife or parents to be hungry. Children who are old enough and working will do well to make provisions for their parents, they must not eat all they have alone. Parents, continue to take care of your children as long as they are yet to be employed, even when they are through with school. Do not make them unwelcome in the home.

Husbands and wives must be one flesh, do not spend your money all alone. Put the other person into consideration. Do not hide what you have from one another.

Pillar 3. RIGHTEOUSNESS - Ephesians 5:26
The husband and wife ought to be righteous (Revelation 19:7- There must be righteousness between couples so that their hearts will be at rest towards one another even if they are not in the same place (Hebrews 13:4).

Pillar 4. COMPREHENSIVE CARE - Ephesians 5:28-29
My brother, how do you feel when you are hungry or the weather is extremely cold and you are not properly clothed? How do you feel when you go out and you are not properly dressed and people are looking down on you? Know that the way you feel is the way she feels when you do not take good care of her, so give her appropriate protection and shelter. Let there be comprehensive care for your children, husband and wife. After all, what is the money doing in the bank when a member of your family is suffering?

Husbands should care for their wives as Christ cares for the church (1 Thessalonians 2:7- The mothers must take care of the children the way the nurses in the hospital care for and nurture the sick. The presence of your spouse and children must not irritate or annoy you, you should be desirous to see your spouse all the time. Do not be the one that will go out and will not want to come back home. Let there be love and fellowship. Have family devotion, share the word of God and pray together.

1 Timothy 5:4. Grown up children must ensure they take good care of their parents who have spent all they had in caring for and educating them. Take special care of them especially when they are widows and widowers.
Fathers and mothers must take care of their family, there should not be segregation.

Pillar 5. INSEPARABLE ONENESS
Nothing must happen in the marriage and the couple will start considering separation or divorce (Ephesians 5:30-33) This is the will and plan of God. He wants the husband and wife to live and be together. They must weather every storm together. Do not move to your parents’ when there are problems in your marriage. Two are better than one, if the two of you pray and manifest faith together, solution will come faster (Matthew 19:3-4) Read your Bible. When there are challenges, difficulties, temptations and trials in the family, go to the Bible.
The word “cleave” is like glueing two things together, to separate them, you are going to destroy one or the other. Husbands and wives, by the marriage covenant, you are glued together, you are both one, not two. You are inseparable.

Pillar 6. MUTUAL RESPECT - Ephesians 5:32-33
The wife must see that she honour, reverence and respect her husband, while the husband must repent, and appreciate the wife so that his prayers are not hindered (1 Peter 3:7) Respect works both ways.

Pillar 7. SUBMISSION - Ephesians 5:21-22,24
Wives must submit to their husbands, love and cherish them, they must not despise them in their hearts (Genesis 21:10-14) God supported Sarah in the aspect of her request that Abraham sends away Ishmael and his mother. Submission in the family is both ways, there are times the wife will have a better idea, other times it will be the husband. The couple must respect each other’s ideas.

B. THE SUPPORTIVE PARTNERS FOR GREATER FRUITFULNESS
Before you get married as a child of God, you are fruitful in every area of your life: spiritually, professionally, and in the work of your hands, but God wants you to have a greater fulfillment and fruitfulness, so He gives you a husband and wife to help and support you to move faster and climb higher.

Genesis 2:18. God gave an assignment to Adam that he should subdue the earth and have dominion over everything. He was the one who named all the animals God created, whatever name he gave them stood till today. He was created complete, knowledgeable and over all things, yet, God said it was not good for him to be alone, so He decided to make an helpmeet who will help him - not create problems for him, pull him down or diminish him - achieve greater fruitfulness and success. This is why you need to marry, even though you have been fruitful before, your wife will be a support to you to achieve greater things.

1 Corinthians 11:9. The woman was created for the man. The man had a calling, profession and covenant of the Lord, and the woman was created to be a support to him (ch 7:2-5) The woman must support her husband so that he will not fall into temptation and the devices of the devil to bring him down. They both do not have control over their own bodies, they must not cheat on one another (vs 16) Your husband may have some peculiar weaknesses and God brought you into his life to help him because you are strong in those areas (vs 25) The virgin/single lady has no concern towards any man, she can go anywhere she wants and get so much involved in the work of God, but the married woman must take care of her home, go to the market, and seek how she would please her husband. You are in each other’s lives to complete one another.

Genesis 24:67. Isaac’s mother was dead and something was missing in his life but as soon as the wife came, he was comforted. She completed him.

Judges 13:22. Manoah, Samson's father was confused and superstitious, thinking that since they have seen the angel of God, they would die. It was the wife who allayed his fears. It happens like that at times that the wife has to be strong for the husband.

Matthew 27:19. Pilate was to judge Jesus Christ and the Jews were pushing him to judge and condemn Jesus but his wife sent a message to him to ensure that he does not have a hand in the death of Jesus, the righteous One. This is what wives are to do. When your husband is being goaded into an action that will destroy him, his business and family, an action that can bring him under the judgment of God, you who have better and clearer knowledge of the situation must not keep quiet but ensure you encourage him to do the right things (vs 24) Pilate actually listened to his wife and washed his hands off the case.

Proverbs 14:1. Every wise woman builds her home: the husband and the children. Be vigilant, look at the steps your husband is taking. You show concern when your husband is doing or working on anything, support him in every way possible so he can succeed, do not be indifferent, or say it is none of your business, you are part of his life and profession, dreams and proposals.

ch 31:10-31. Wherever the couple is apart from each other, the heart of the husband safely trust in the wife. She would not pull him down or tear him apart, she would not discourage or make him lose confidence in himself. She is hardworking whenever she has the opportunity to work, she will not say that she is not the husband or the bread winner. The wife should work willingly if the line has fallen on her to work.
If you have to provide for the family at this time when your husband cannot, yes, you will. What you have belongs to your husband and vice versa. Reach out and meet the need of your husband, children and the extended family. The husband is respected at the gate because of the qualities and character his wife has. She is not just fashionable but also strong, and she will never be involved in anything disgraceful and shameful.

She does not dig a grave for her husband and children with her mouth. She considers well before taking any decision. It gets to a point that a woman becomes old and no longer as beautiful as she used to be, but the good and sterling character she has will continue to make her beautiful. That is the gracious and born again woman who is supportive of her husband, pushing him to greatness.

C. THE SPECIFIC PRESERVATIVES FOR A GLORIOUS FUTURE
There is a glorious future awaiting us all, and the future that God has for us is a happy, pleasant and cheerful one that we will be happy with. There is a future here and another over there in glory, so, either way, there is a glorious future and there are specific preservatives for this.

Acts 16:31-34. Salvation is very important for the husband, wife and the children. As for the Philippian jailor, everyone in his family responded to the message of salvation given by Paul and Silas. Afterwards, because of their salvation experience, they both worked together to be hospitable towards the apostles. They made provision to clean them up and put food before them as they rejoiced in their new experience.

Luke 1:5-6. Zechariah and Elizabeth were both old, yet righteous, no children, yet righteous and serving the Lord blameless. Husband was filled with the Spirit (vs 13-15) Even their child was filled with the Holy Ghost from the womb (vs 41,67) Every family member was filled with the Holy Ghost. This is what God wants: for every member of the family to be saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost.

As we know, the salvation of the mother is not enough for the father, and that of the parents is not enough for the children, and vice versa. Each one must be saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost for a glorious future (Ezekiel 18:20) Each person must be righteous by himself (ch 14:16-20) Righteousness, salvation and getting to heaven are not transferable, but personal.

Romans 14:12. Everyone shall give account of himself to God. Each person must do his own work in order to have something to give account of before God. Why are the Christian experiences not transferable? (Luke 20:34-35) Marriage is for this world and all the fellowship and good and supportive pillars of marriage end in this world. On the other side, we shall be like the angels who do not marry. Each person has to prepare to get there.

Psalm 24:3. He (singular, not plural) who has clean hands and pure heart shall ascend to the hill of the Lord.

Matthew 5:6-8. Blessed are they who thirst and hunger after righteousness, they shall be filled.

Revelation 20:15. Whosoever, husband, wife or children was not found written in the book of life shall be cast into the lake of fire (ch 22:12) The glorious future is for us individually, depending on whether we are saved, sanctified and faithful to the Lord. The Lord will help us to be faithful. Amen.

What are we to do now? (Hosea 10:12) Is your heart hardened and congealed? Break them up so that God will come and rain righteousness upon you, upon us individually, and upon our family. All these things the Lord wants will manifest in our family in Jesus name. The grace of the Lord will multiply in our family, the love of God will increase in our family, and the progress He has ordained for us will be faster in Jesus name. Amen.

The Lord answer your prayers and fulfill your petitions, and give you the good desires of your heart for yourself, and the family. This year will be the best you have ever lived since you married in the name of Jesus. The Lord pour that blessing upon you. Amen and Amen.

#Prayer:
* Pray to God that His plan and purpose will be fulfilled in your life and family. Progress for everyone and God make your family godly and glorious in Jesus name.
* Pray for our Pastor that all these blessing he has showered over us will be his portion and that of his family in Jesus name.
* Amen and Amen.

#PastorKumuyiSaid
©‘Kemisola Omoyiola (SWTM11122021(123)