obinna58:


The aim is to be successful and if you're lucky enough to find yourself in right lane then no need forcing it to get on the wrong one.

Getting a valuable friend you must be valuable yourself, all this useless street friendship or women are almost useless.

The aim has always been to be successful. But u don't have to be a loner to achieve that. U mentioned things like staying focused, addiction, women and overspending; discipline, not loneliness is needed. Op's problem is socializing and building relationship. Not a single friend..offline or online, nobody he can call and crack dry joke with..and u want him to continue?..if he doesn't start learning how to do that now, when will he?..is it till he has millions, he will now be looking for friends?..abi na inside house e wan dey learn the nitty gritty of life?

Perhaps you walk around with a scowl on your face. Even extremely quiet people still have people who walk up to them and want to be friends.

Anyway, always have a pleasant disposition. Move close to where people are having a conversation. Listen to them and occasionally chip in. With time you'll have one or two people who know you and don't mind talking to you.

You must learn to make an attempt at friendship. It may be hard at first but it'll get much easier with time.

Automolite:

The aim has always been to be successful. But u don't have to be a loner to achieve that. U mentioned things like staying focused, addiction, women and overspending; discipline, not loneliness is needed. Op's problem is socializing and building relationship. Not a single friend..offline or online, nobody he can call and crack dry joke with..and u want him to continue?..if he doesn't start learning how to do that now, when will he?..is it till he has millions, he will now be looking for friends?..abi na inside house e wan dey learn the nitty gritty of life?

Baba you're talking it as if it's a disability
That he's a loner doesn't mean he can not do necessary talking, introverted is different from dumbness.
What he needs is the right friends not just friends, there are too much toxicity in the street, he gets on track with this people it can only lead to depression, regrets and more depression, why? Because you'll have to fake a lot of things, if he continues faking it he'll see himself balancing to dishonest lifestyle, that alone will change you, change your personality and dreams.
Why not allow life to balance itself and give your purpose while you're working hard, pursuing your goals you're more likely to meet people who shared same mindset, the process of life struggles will get you to meet genuine friendships as well as great partnership and valuable friends.

obinna58:

Baba you're talking it as if it's a disability
That he's a loner doesn't mean he can not do necessary talking, introverted is different from dumbness.
What he needs is the right friends not just friends, there are too much toxicity in the street, he gets on track with this people it can only lead to depression, regrets and more depression, why? Because you'll have to fake a lot of things, if he continues faking it he'll see himself balancing to dishonest lifestyle, that alone will change you, change your personality and dreams.
Why not allow life to balance itself and give your purpose while you're working hard, pursuing your goals you're more likely to meet people who shared same mindset, the process of life struggles will get you to meet genuine friendships as well as great partnership and valuable friends.

Bro..we seem to be saying the same thing but from different perspective.
How does make friends "fake or true" when u can't even be in the midst of pple?.
Fake alot of things on the streets?..that's for pple with low self esteem.
In the journey of "pursing goals"..how will u forge partnership when u cannot engage the next man in idle chat?. or hold my interest long enough to strike a bond?
If I may ask, ur present crop of valuable friends. Did u meet them by spending time at home or u built ur friendship through socialization and companionship.
U will never meet or make friends if u cannot socialize whether online or offline..
Even if you and I have a shared mindset and goal...we will at best forever be acquaintances if we cannot strike a bond and enjoy each other's company.
In summary, he needs to learn to socialize..

caspee:
Help me
I have no Friends at all not even a single person who I can talk to.
I spend my entire time on my phone either playing games, watching movies, reading novels or browsing on the Internet and when I am not doing all these I am sleeping. I spend my entire day indoors but even the times I go outside I don't have anyone to talk to or play with. Throughout my day in the polytechnic I had no single friend in school when I finished my ND I was alone taking pictures and no one even celebrated with me.
I heard my siblings today talking about how they will spend their Christmas day with people yet I can't even relate well with my siblings.
I can't keep a chat going with people online or offline because sometimes I run out of what to say.
I don't even have a girlfriend nor have I ever asked a girl out, I don't even know what to say to them.
Any advice is appreciated all I need is to stop this boring lifestyle of mine.
I see people on the street laughing and joking, sometimes insulting each other and wish I am among them. I really need a friend even if it's a bad one

Are u a male or a female? Why can't u make friends?

Automolite:

Bro..we seem to be saying the same thing but from different perspective.
How does make friends "fake or true" when u can't even be in the midst of pple?.
Fake alot of things on the streets?..that's for pple with low self esteem.
In the journey of "pursing goals"..how will u forge partnership when u cannot engage the next man in idle chat?. or hold my interest long enough to strike a bond?
If I may ask, ur present crop of valuable friends. Did u meet them by spending time at home or u built ur friendship through socialization and companionship.
U will never meet or make friends if u cannot socialize whether online or offline..
Even if you and I have a shared mindset and goal...we will at best forever be acquaintances if we cannot strike a bond and enjoy each other's company.
In summary, he needs to learn to socialize..

Once again you're mistaking introvertism for dumbness, you're a loner doesn't mean you can't talk to people when need arises. Even your national newscaster or that receptionist you know might be introverted.

My kinda friendship are more like partnership friendship. It's not something I'm forcing. Same league friendship.

obinna58:

Once again you're mistaking introvertism for dumbness, you're a loner doesn't mean you can't talk to people when need arises. Even your national newscaster or that receptionist you know might be introverted.

My kinda friendship are more like partnership friendship. It's not something I'm forcing. Same league friendship.

No I'm not bro...
But maybe if u reread the Op's story, u will understand where im coming from.
At anyrate...it's been nice a banter with u. I'm sure if this was real time, u and I would have built enough rapport to discuss other matters. Which is partly what am saying, u cannot build a friendship or partnership if u don't interact with people.
The OP can either do something about it or remain in his state of Inertia.
Peace mohn!

TheN1:
Perhaps you walk around with a scowl on your face. Even extremely quiet people still have people who walk up to them and want to be friends.

Anyway, always have a pleasant disposition. Move close to where people are having a conversation. Listen to them and occasionally chip in. With time you'll have one or two people who know you and don't mind talking to you.

You must learn to make an attempt at friendship. It may be hard at first but it'll get much easier with time.

I actually have a smile on my face and I have had people walk up to me to be my friend but I end up pushing them away because when next I see them I usually have nothing to say and end up ignoring them. I just find it hard to make friends.

Newyorkitis:



Don't wish for a bad friend, please.

I really do not know the kind of novels you read, brotherly. However, I'll suggest you read how to win frend and influence people by Dale Carnegie.

On another level, you have to see other people as unique and not as items to be taken from your shelf whenever you need them.

Also, use your phone to read about current issues and you won't run out of ideas when having a conversation.
Cheers!

Thanks for this I will download the book

Kobicove:
The problem is with you!

I know that is why I need help