You're not a man at all. She and her family are manipulating you. Infact you're a disgrace to your family. A woman has the gut to fight your mum and even raise knife on her in other words that's an attempted mother and yet you allow her to bring her own mum to your house... Oga you're not okay.
Shame on you...

God knows and every girl that comes into my life gets to understand clearly, that I will not tolerate any disrespectful remark or gesture made against my mum. I cannot even imagine a girl fight or attack my mum. I will uproot such a person out of my life instantly. Even if she has 50kids for me. And I will never forgive anybody, be it a girlfriend, wife, sibling or any relative that antagonize my mum. My mum is a red line no one is allowed to ever cross.

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

It's post partum depression she suffers/ed from...it can be so frustrating most especially when ppl around you expect so much but you can't help it. Op please forgive her cus to pass through that phase no be moi moi. You guys are still getting to know eachother in the marriage and so you have to let go. But what was the cause of the quarrels with your mum?

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

Most of you lack sense.


You are a Nigerian and you are not a whiteman. Nigerian cultures are older than you. One of my brothers married into a very rich family. When I say rich, I mean one of the family's that currently have the Governor of one of Nigeria's states. Yet the woman went for Omugwo talkless of your mom an ordinary underpaid Nigerian lecturer that I can comfortably put on payroll.


You foolish boys with no identity love mocking your culture in the name of your foolish civilisation that you arent even among the top.


Are you or your family richer than Obi Cubana, Arthur Eze, etc that respect their cultures? Who is your family in Nigeria? Who know your family name?


How does Omugwo equate to poverty?

When my wife gave birth, nobody came for Omugwo cos her mom is late and my mom wasn't feeling so well then. Even though we had domestic workers, we still missed the fact that no grandma came for Omugwo.


So carry your useless poverty striken city wannabe mentality and gerraat



I so much hate people that despise their identity

NOETHNICITY:
God knows and every girl that comes into my life gets to understand clearly, that I will not tolerate any disrespectful remark or gesture made against my mum. I cannot even imagine a girl fight or attack my mum. I will uproot such a person out of my life instantly. Even if she has 50kids for me. And I will never forgive anybody, be it a girlfriend, wife, sibling or any relative that antagonize my mum. My mum is a red line no one is allowed to ever cross.

Take am easy ...and two shall become one and not three! Your mum will be trying to know her and likewise your wife. Before your mum comes to your house, advise her to package herself well and also maintain peace in your home. Your mum isn't perfect you know, most times I correct my mum's notions about stuff that can bring choas in my family or extended family too.

Gireiboy:

Anybody that pulls a knife on my mum would instantly become my archenemy, and i will never forgive that person in these life or the next

I believe forgiveness should be a choice when it comes to some certain issues....but nevertheless for your sanity sake you ought to.

viyon02:
So her mum can come for omugo abi? If you don't want thunder fire you, don't allow her mum too to come for omugo period.

I swear.. She should do the omugo her sef. She think say she wise..
Pull a knife on my mama,you come go carry ur mama come my hux
She go run comot in two days.. Only my face go scare her run

Vickyvice:
mother-in-law are using it to achieve control over their daughter and hubby, something we frown at, we DONT DO THIS SHIT, we only provide all the supplies both for the baby and family. That's the real omugwo. I have two sisters abroad, and we are too busy to ask my mom to do this nonsense, she herself is a lecture lre too busy to consider this. while, we waybill all the needed stuff and send abroad. Any woman can do it, not necessarily the girls mum.

Y do u think more women abroad suffer postpartum depression? But u il not understand till it happens to someone u know, then u il respect ur African traditions.

Verysmart101:


Is that enough reason to use a knife against her mother-in-law and physically assulting her? Her family has failed woofully and she needs to be sent packing with immediate effect

Anger must have led to that. If he handle their misunderstanding maturedly, it wouldn't have resulted to all these. He was one sided in handling the issue.

TheKingsmann1:
see the way you reason.
No wonder why you're unmarried at your age

Congratulations married man.
Am so happy you got married early, keep enjoying your marriage BUT watch your tongue.

Mariangeles:
Have you considered the fact that your wife might be going or might've gone through postpartum depression, which might've led to that behaviour?

Were she and your mum having problems before your wife got pregnant and had a baby?

N.B. Postpartum depression is not an excuse for bad behaviour, it is real.

don't indulge people with this postpartum depression thing

This means someone can stab u n hide under postpartum depression...she goofed,let her accept n move on

Justkatty:
That wasn't nice of her her, irrespective of what could have happened, she wouldn't have resulted in carrying knife or having a physical fight with her mother inlaw.....She for get mind carry knife for her own mama?
Anyways since she has apologise, please forgive her but a Stern warning should be given.

God abeg give me mother inlaw wey go take me as her daughter and I promise to cherish her.
The way my mama born me naso she too born the person I call my crown.
Desist from violence it doesn't pay.

If na your mama your brother wife wan attack with knife, will you just say that your brother should just forgive his wife and things should go back to normal?
That's an attempted murder by a ride and useless woman with bad home training on a woman who came to help out.

Sorry is very USELESS here.

Always thinking before you talk and shy from being a hypocrite.

When you see a silly wife fighting her mother in law, there is an extremely f00lish husband in the equation.

Retrace ur steps.

My wife can not reply any member of my family in a derogatory manner.

Nobody , I Mean no living person in my family can use a derogatory word to address my wife.

The lines are clearly drawn and dem no born any of the parties to cross it.

Not to talk of physical fight with Knife involved.

You need to draw a red line. Mine knows the day she draws out knife at me or destroy my property, it is automatically over.

She will stab u soon out of anger.

Ninisun:



Take am easy ...and two shall become one and not three! Your mum will be trying to know her and likewise your wife. Before your mum comes to your house, advise her to package herself well and also maintain peace in your home. Your mum isn't perfect you know, most times I correct my mum's notions about stuff that can bring choas in my family or extended family too.

Well my mum is a perfect person. Since I grew up and became an adult I ve never seen my mum quarrel with anybody much unlike most women in the neighborhood where I grew up. Even if my mum wasn't perfect, I expect anyone around me (particularly my wife) to condole whatever behavior or act of indiscretion my mum may exhibit in the cause of her temporary stay with us. Any woman or anybody who hesitate to understand this is not fit be in my nucleus

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

You took the words right out of my mouth. Mama wey suppose dey busy with her career,hubby and other areas of her life go leave am come stay with pikin for three months because of omugwo.

You have said it all

Don't mind the Op. He is probably a teen boy. You can tell he is angry his mom wanted to leave her lecturing job. Probably his mom is providing for him.

He also condemn Africa and how low mentality is killing us. He will never understand what a culture is. Even in Universities in U.S the have some cultural classes offered in their curriculum.

His mom could not secure a visa, so she couldn't not go and visit. Mother's love their grandkids.

Op is a teen. She doesn't know how hard it's to have a new born in the house. He is not married yet. He doesn't understand why we still practice that culture. Even white people do it. Someone who has never been to Ghana is condemning our culture. Get sense!

For the guy who is having issues with his family. Bro be careful. Our actions and words can never be forgotten. Mind what you say or do around your mother inlaw. Please don't defend your mom simply because she is your mom. You didn't tell us what happened. Your wife will not just pick a fight with your mom just like that. Be reasonable, stand on the truth.

Your wife is passing through a lot. Emotional stress, sleepless nights, pains etc. Just leave the woman alone. Having a baby is not a joke. Depression might be kicking in.

Good luck.

Kobojunkie:
I don't understand understand the tradition at all but I do realize that some women need help of other women especially after her first birth or maybe in situation where depression or some other illness keeps her from being able to properly care for herself and her husband is unable to take time off to care for her..

TheWolfen:
Lol not a sincere one
If she truly sorry then the husband mother should come back to the house and sort things out and she stay for couple of weeks before leaving that is how broken bridge between them can be truly fixed otherwise it seams she deliberately wanna chase her out of the home. It is nothing but selfishness & wickedness it is not SMARTNESS. I see no reason why daughter in law and mother in law can't peacefully coexist. . .


cc: DjBigMoni

I understand where you are driving at sincerely
But I think for now the husband should be in a better position to bring peace among them...
And I believe the wife should be remorseful now.

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

Utter rubbish. Omugwo is simply for a mother to assist her daughter to take care of the new baby. What makes it low grade or low mentality?
You have issues

Olubi15:
Read carefully and get the gist.

I got it

uniqueboi1:
Use your head.
See as e easy for you to type
Delilah.

Is that the name of your sister?�

Kobojunkie:
Her husband can and should adequately fill that post instead. After all, the baby was made by both of them in the marriage.

It ought to be the man caring for and helping nurse his wife back to health after the ordeal, unless circumstances don't allow for it - busy work schedule for example. Oyinbo husbands dey even take time off from work in order to care for wife and baby during such times. Rarely do you see them inviting a third partyover during those times and they take turns feeding baby during night shift and all.

Surely Nigeria husbands aren't shigidi that can't lift a finger to care their own wife and kid in similar situations naw!

You do realise that the husband is a man and so would not understand most of the things his wife is passing through during the course of the pregnancy and delivery. Omugwo is a period where the girl's mother or the husband's mother comes to visit and to help nurse the girl and baby back to good condition

Vickyvice:
[s] mother-in-law are using it to achieve control over their daughter and hubby, something we frown at, we DONT DO THIS SHIT, we only provide all the supplies both for the baby and family. That's the real omugwo. I have two sisters abroad, and we are too busy to ask my mom to do this nonsense, she herself is a lecture lre too busy to consider this. while, we waybill all the needed stuff and send abroad. Any woman can do it, not necessarily the girls mum.[/s]

Yen yen yen , like it's only your sisters that are in abroad.is it this same Europe we dey abi na somewhere outside earth wey we no fit hear word.

Like someone told u ,it's not about money or gift. A colleague of mine here wished her mother could come for omugwo to help her after she put to birth. But covid restrictions dey

Nonexisting:
But the depression didn't make her fight or point knife at her own mother? The woman has terrible attitude, don't blame any depression. Besides, in some places, the husband's mother is the first to come and stay for a few days before the wife's mother comes for full time omugwo. They say it's because the wife's mother will need the few days to put together things needed for the omugwo and the baby has to be taken care of by an experienced mother for those first few days.

I'm not in support of what the wife did, but have you asked yourself what could have prompted that? Did she just wake up to carry knife and point at them? Do you know what they must have made her go through? Did the husbands mom helped at all or was she expected to do everything considering she gave birth newly and through csection? Was she treated with care at all. Given birth through normal delivery is painful talk more of doing it through csection. After going through the stress of taking care of the new born throughout the night, did your mum made her(your wife) go through taking care of her(your mum) and yourself during the day?

Mariangeles:
Have you considered the fact that your wife might be going or might've gone through postpartum depression, which might've led to that behaviour?

Were she and your mum having problems before your wife got pregnant and had a baby?

N.B. Postpartum depression is not an excuse for bad behaviour, it is real.

are you okay..

Kobojunkie:
It ought not to be a tradition/custom though.

How many married men would, after having to be directly involved, and in charge of caring for wife and child- we are talking being hands own here I.e. changing diapers, feeding, bathing, massaging the mother, waking up at night to feed and change baby or sing said baby to sleep - this during the first 6 to 9 months after birth, opt for several more of that experience?

Some men would say no more kids after 1 or 2. Your Omugwos while helpful to some, serves as a serious impediment and ought to seize as a tradition.

You are a man who will never have to give birth or have to fully participate in the care of a baby, so, it is easy for you to balance and talk about something you clearly have little understanding of.

Omugwo is one of the most important traditions in Africa, because new mums really go through a lot the first year of child birth, especially when they never had to care for a child before that

Do you think it is easy to wake up in the middle of the night to care for a baby? To not have any time to yourself? To constantly have to check if they are hungry or if their diapers are full, or if it's an actual sickness? Do you know it can drive some people mad?

I am very sure you have never had to stay with a baby for up to 12 hours without help, else, you would not have some of these considerations.

Cc @ Vickyvice

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

Point of correction, her mum was supposed to come for omugwu not your mum because she is still alive or are you a manipulative person?

GboyegaD:
Does omugwo stop the man from being involved first hand in the caring of his wife and child?

Does an omugwo guest show up to sit on the couch and supervise the man and woman as they do it all then?

The point is the involvement of an optional third-party takes away from the experience that is meant to be played by husband and wife in this.

Pataricatering:
oga, talk true ? Wetin be your problem with women ?

Simple. Their wickedness

Pataricatering:
if we begin to talk the evil men do -, you people will start crying and telling the world about how feminists hate men ! from human ritual., banditry, terrorism ,kidnapping, armed robbery etc etc its men ! no be men go hold fresh human head of pikin wey dem kill becos of greed ? And so many other evil atrocities but you people will blind your eyes to all that - na dishonesty go kill all.of una

Na their women dey spur them to do all those wicked things nna. After all Na una go tell them no be them mate dey drive Benz so why Dem no go find way drive too

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

You are a complete idiot for disparaging the African culture......A woman that has never given birth before and knows little about an infant needs help from people close to her....E Pele oooooo, Family Dangote

sunjai:
I'm not in support of what the wife did, but have you asked yourself what could have prompted that? Did she just wake up to carry knife and point at them? Do you know what they must have made her go through? Did the husbands mom helped at all or was she expected to do everything considering she gave birth newly and through csection? Was she treated with care at all. Given birth through normal delivery is painful talk more of doing it through csection. After going through the stress of taking care of the new born throughout the night, did your mum made her(your wife) go through taking care of her(your mum) and yourself during the day?

I don't support disrespecting elders but I have to agree, your point is valid.
Some mothers in law and aunties in general no get joy.

I have witnessed first hand where the in-laws that came to visit a mother who newly put to bed less than three days before, expecting the same woman to go into the kitchen and cook and serve them food.

All the while they just sat down comfortably in the parlor gisting.
They were waiting for a woman who was still having post partum bleeding and in pains from giving birth to entertain them. Some old people no get sense at all.

xpool:

You are obviously low grade and your family lacks love and peace.

Your grandparents who did omugwo must be paupers by your shallow analysis.

There is nothing wrong with omugwo, it is not mandatory, besides, anybody can do omugwo for you, neighbors, husbands, caregiver or nanny can do omugwo.

Stop fighting with yourself, you lack love

Lol,the dude not only lacks love but is poor mentally and physically