It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

Lamanii22:
I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

World war 3 in your mind..

Lamanii22:
It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

Every MIL is not the same so don't attempt to judge them all by using your case.

Also, marriage every marriage is not the same. While some take the fact that a marriage is a strict partnership between a man and his woman, others, such as yourself,choose to leave the door open to third-parties for reasons best known to them. All marriages are not the same and for good reason.

By the way, I hope this love for MIL isn't one-sided in your case. Hope your husband shows the same love and respect to your own mother in your union..

Women need to know that when they marry a man, they also marry his family.
I really don't know the matter and why some girls don't like their mothers in law but one vow I've made to myself is to accept and tolerate my husband's family which includes his mother. You can't love everyone but you can try to tolerate.

NovesaTillie:
Women need to know that when they marry a man, they also marry his family.

2. I really don't know the matter and why some girls don't like their mothers in law but one vow I've made to myself is to accept and tolerate my husband's family which includes his mother. You can't love everyone but you can try to tolerate.

1. The statement in bold is not legally supported even in Nigeria. It is for the man and woman in the marriage to decide whether to allow third-parties into their home or not.

2. The matter here is society attempts to impinge on rights of the married man and woman in their union. Choices you make in your own marriage are that, for your own marriage- not for everyone else's.

Many things will make you not to fight your mother inlaw which includes, but not limited to your love for your husband, good home upbringing, the fear of God, and karma

Lamanii22:
It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

So so good of you.

May you also be loved by your daughter-in-laws.

It is possible to live peacefully with ones mother in law if one sees her as one’s mother

Yes, it's very possible to live in peace with your mother inlaw...
Buh women too get issues...

And sometimes I can't help but ask...
Why is it that it's very rare to hear cases of husband's fighting their father in-law as compared to wives fighting their mother inlaw...

Yeah a woman marries her husband's family and all, right. Still doesn't mean the mother-in-law (and others) shouldn't give her son and his wife some space. No matter how much chemistry the wife and the mother-in-law have, over time, there's bound to be squabbles coz familiarity surely breeds contempt. Which in turn would put the husband in a tricky limbo...
Thank God for my mum anyways, she's got too much on her hands to come and be "choking" her son's family. Na you go dey beg her say make she find time visit sef

And sometimes I can't help but ask...
Why is it that it's very rare to hear cases of husband's fighting their father in-law as compared to wives fighting their mother inlaw...

Men don't have entitlement mentality like most mother-in-law. And also, women are too emotionally attached to their children/wards.

If the man is rich. . .why not?

MufasaLion:


Men don't have entitlement mentality like most mother-in-law. And also, women are too emotionally attached to their children/wards.

You get how it works. Women are wired differently bruv. Best bet is to give each other space, respectfully. Make momma visit, spend max couple weeks go back to her place. Case closed.. the whole long-term "mother-in-law living in" thing builds resentment over time nd rarely ends well..

Sekoni003:


You get how it works. Women are wired differently bruv. Best bet is to give each other space, respectfully. Make momma visit, spend max couple weeks go back to her place. Case closed.. the whole long-term "mother-in-law living in" thing builds resentment over time nd rarely ends well..

I don't even support parents living with couples except in very rare cases.

But there are some person's that whatsoever you do, they see nothing good but nevertheless, when you have a good upbringing, there are somethings you get to tolerate especially when it comes from your in-laws....not disputing the fact that some can push you to the wall to see your actions, I'll advice try as much as you can and overlook and the ones you think are beyond your strength put your knees on the ground.

What I'm saying in essence is that, observe your mother inlaw if she's the toxic type avoid all her wahala or anything that will create problem
If God blesses you with an amazing mother inlaw, your marriage journey go sweet....in all always remember you'll be a mother inlaw someday.
Do to others what yourself can accept.

Lamanii22:
It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

There are only 4 of you on earth. One each in one billion out of the 4 billion girls/ladies/women in earth. Jesus has a special place for you in Heaven

It is possible but it would mostly depend on you because your MIL will most likely not accept certain things and might be very expressiveness about the. Now, how you handle such situations determines how things will go from there. It's not easy but it's not difficult.

Lamanii22:
It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

Kobojunkie:
Every MIL is not the same so don't attempt to judge them all by using your case.

Also, marriage every marriage is not the same. While some take the fact that a marriage is a strict partnership between a man and his woman, others, such as yourself,choose to leave the door open to third-parties for reasons best known to them. All marriages are not the same and for good reason.

By the way, I hope this love for MIL isn't one-sided in your case. Hope your husband shows the same love and respect to your own mother in your union..

It's not one-sided.... I am not saying every marriage is the same, I'm just airing my own perspective .

Opeyemiextra:
It is possible but it would mostly depend on you because your MIL will most likely not accept certain things and might be very expressiveness about the. Now, how you handle such situations determines how things will go from there. It's not easy but it's not difficult.

Yeah, I agree with you....

Ebubechuwku:



World war 3 in your mind..

I swearrr Mann.....

Amotolongbo:
So so good of you.

May you also be loved by your daughter-in-laws.

It is possible to live peacefully with ones mother in law if one sees her as one’s mother

....


Awwwwn amen, thank you.

Richy4:
U seem like a good girl OP.. Don't just because of fictitious things you see and read on the internet and u decide to experiment and wage war with your mother in-law, It might backfire...

U have already said your mother in-law is an amazing person, just leave it at that please... If u can't shout on your mother, I wonder why u can dream of doing it to an elder that gave birth to your husband...

I don't know why I have a feeling that u wanna try.. I might be wrong though... But nursing for a war in your mind that doesn't exist might cost u ......It is said,....' Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks'

Ha! No I can never try it! I don't pray for it to happen... I even had a dream something ensued between us but I have been extra careful and prayerful.... I'm not talking about wars per say.... I mean every response that might hurt her, I simply scream it out in my mind lol and say it as calmly as I could on the outside...

Maybe because women tend to mark territory and are mostly jealous of each other. Mum might not want to accept that another woman might be taking her place in her son's life. She's no more the only woman in his life.

Wife might feel husband's mum is interfering a little too much in her son'slife. And they now put the guy on a spot.

Let everyone know their place and try to live in peace.

Lamanii22:
It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

Lucky you.

In my own case, I have found it hard to forgive. So I hardly call her because I am not too goodatpretending. .

ImaIma1:


Lucky you.

In my own case, I have found it hard to forgive. So I hardly call her because I am not too goodatpretending. .

Awwwwn was she that bad.... The only problem I have got with mine is just regarding the baby... I want to raise my baby differently but she feels she knows best regarding babies... Sometimes in my head I'd be like "back off woman she's not your baby, she's mine".... Aside from that we are cool....

ImaIma1:
Maybe because women tend to mark territory and are mostly jealous of each other. Mum might not want to accept that another woman might be taking her place in her son's life. She's no more the only woman in his life.

Wife might feel husband's mum is interfering a little too much in her son'slife. And they now put the guy on a spot.

Let everyone know their place and try to live in peace.

So true.... In future when I become a mother-in-law and I interfere in my son's marriage, I should be given a hot tap lol.... We should all strive to live in peace....

We can love each other and live in our respective houses.

It's very possible

MufasaLion:


Men don't have entitlement mentality like most mother-in-law. And also, women are too emotionally attached to their children/wards.

The father in law is at fault, partially.


The time he should have spent building a solid bond with his wife, he got too busy leaving the woman to direct all her affection to her kids. Now it's not easy to break a bond that is firmly rooted in the brain.

The woman will definitely intrude in her children's lives.

It's a cycle as the daughter in law will do the same when the time comes because her husband is already neglecting her.

When a woman gets married, the husband expects her to abandon her family and friends and focus on him and his family.

While this benefits the husband because he gets to isolate the woman so he can do as he pleases. In the long run, the woman, who has no support or defense ends up turning her kids into her friends and only means of support.


Once the children grow up and begin to start their families, the woman grasps at every means possible to keep the only friends she knows, her kids!!!!!!!


So, if the woman is a nasty person, or she has had horrible experiences for which nobody seeks therapy, well, she will take it out on anyone in close contact with her. And who is the easiest target? You guessed it: Daughter in law.