Every single line in the OP was insulting to women. I picked the parts that were glaring to avoid redundancy and also not to enable anyone to pretend like they don’t see it.

Favfables1:


So the only thing you could pick out of the OP's very long write up is that?
You see why I say you feel attacked ...

As for men respecting women...
Well...
I can't speak for all men...
But I only respect people (male or female) who are worth respecting...

crackhaus:



He get small money abi...

The money no small I, na GLK the guy dey use o

solja147:
Life doesn't get easier when you get the wrong woman. It gets harder. Honest people know this.

Fixed.
Points above are mostly valid when you're with a woman who's wrong for you...

From my limited experience, I've seen "scattered young men" who got hitched with the right woman for them and the resulting orderliness led those folks from a mediocre life to something a bit better...

[s]

solja147:
Life doesn't get easier when you get a woman. It gets harder. Honest people know this.

Yet one of the most unpopular truths that provokes ridiculous reactions even in men is to say that women drag you down more than they help you.

People hate hearing this. Makes them defensive.
You get all these nonsense replies like

"Maybe you've just met the wrong kind of woman"

or "Men and women were made for each other and complement each other equally"

Or some other nonsense

All total cope, if you think women help men as much as men help them, you're delusional
It's the same with kids. Kids make life harder and drag you down as well.

In the hierarchy of neediness, men are least needy and children are most - with women in the middle.

Needy people make life harder, as they take up time and energy you'd otherwise allocate to building.
Does that mean you shouldn't have kids or get a woman?

No. These challenges can provide fresh meaning, and produce their own unique spiritual rewards.

Just realise every time you get with a woman or have an extra kid, you're increasing the difficulty level of your life.
Women are always the ones pushing for more. They want a baby. They want another baby. They want to get married. Why are the women always pushing for these things, rather than the men?

Because it's the men who bear the brunt of the increase in difficulty - not the women.
Don't get me wrong, a woman who's just had a child has certainly made her life harder. Before nobody relied on her. Now a child relies on her. But for the man, before it was just a woman relying on him, now it's a woman + a child relying on him. He has more people relying on him.
An easy life bereft of meaning is not a life worth living - and yet as with all things, difficulty should only rise in line with one's competence.

You don't jump straight from beginner to expert. You work your way up slowly.

Jumping into the deep end is how you wreck yourself.
Bearing all this in mind, you would think the needier sex would be the more grateful one, right?

Wrong.

It is more common for a man to be deeply thankful just to have any woman, than it is for a woman to be profoundly grateful for the man who cares for her.
You will hear "he's lucky to have her" or "I'm lucky to have her" more than "she's lucky to have him" and "I'm lucky to have him"

Women are far less modest, yet men are more pathetic. For women are more desperate than men when single, yet less grateful than men when taken.
The key to a lasting relationship is a sense of mutual appreciation, irrespective of the disparity in difficulty. If we accept we're a hierarchical species and that gender's a strong delineator of hierarchy, then it's absurd to be upset about "one having it harder than the other"
So it's not a matter of fairness in so much as it is a matter of gratitude, and readiness to endure and take on additional burden

Man's life is just one unending series of mounting burden, and a man who takes on more burden than he can endure collapses under the weight of it all
But given that man's burden is indeed the greatest, for he has not only the children, but the eternal adolescent, the woman to care for - he deserves the deepest gratitude and greatest thanks. Men build great empires and move whole oceans for little more than profound gratitude.
In this sense women make men better, not because they are an asset, but because they are a challenge, and, when they are the right kind of challenge - they moralise rather than demoralise. They give him a sense of purpose, even if they slow him down by making his life harder.
So you can think of a good woman as a gracious cheerleader. Her beauty both inside and out inspires the man, irrespective of the imposition of her needs. The beauty of her loins and the modesty of her soul transcends the ugliness of her neediness to invigorate him.
That is a best case scenario.

When such beauty is absent, the partnership loses its wholesome spiritual component and becomes parasitic. The man is demoralised, drained, like an unappreciated slave. He grows resentful, so he begins to crave freedom. He is slowly checking out.
A truly wise woman then is not only modest enough to accept the burden she represents - but mindful enough to actively counterbalance it by showering her man in beauty. She realises she keeps a man by showering him in the beauty of gratitude from the depths of her soul.
Women who fail to do this & allow themselves to become resentful (whether rightfully or wrongfully) will fail to keep their man in the long run.

There has to be some advantage, some reward, some positive for the man. You can't just endlessly mount him with burden with no thanks.
This is why narcissism although a terrible ugliness in general, is particularly ugly in woman.

Because at least narcissistic men provide.

What does an immodest woman have to offer a man at all in any meaningful spiritual sense?

She will cause him nothing but pain and problems.
All a woman has is her gratitude. She lives + dies by it, because it defines her immaterial beauty.

And so modesty for that reason alone is the chief + primary attribute women should cultivate and men should covet.

For without it, there can be no permanence, only temporariness.
This is why it's important for a man to cultivate a culture of appreciation within his relationship, and to set the pace at which he adopts additional burden.

Don't let women pressure you into taking on burdens you're unsuited to, and yet at the same time, do not lead her on.
Women feel anxiety about their fleeting fertility, but Rome wasn't built in a day. As such, your timescales are at odds and one party is forced to compromise.

The only real solution is to ensure a wider age difference.

Older, more established men with younger, unanxious women.

#Copied from @tellyoursonthis.

[/s]


The product of a dysfunctional human from a dysfunctional home, it's no one's fault your background affected your thought process making you see women through the lenses of your mother's behaviour to your father.

[s]

mk3jax:


I find myself getting angrier with the whole family thing as I grow older with more responsibilities and feeling of less appreciation from everybody around me. Its like the life os a man is work, work, work and more work until he end up in the grave. He get very little appreciation or recognition from society for all the years he toiled providing for people who are mostly ungrateful for all of his wasted life.
Also children are not any gift from God cos your get poorer for every child you make. The whole marriage/ family thing is a way to brainwash men into conforming to societal manipulations while being insulted at thesame time.

[/s]


Nobody put a gun to your head to get married, to breed kids, if you hate that you work to provide, quit your job, sit at home and become lazy, no one will thank you for your responsibility that you signed up for on your own, cos your wife is not thanked by you for her own responsibility,

If you hate your marriage and kids since they are a burden not blessings , divorce your wife, disown your kids and be at peace,

If females are a burden, isolate yourself from us and date/marry a man, this life is very very simple, you can even date a goat no one cares, it is your life.

tensazangetsu20:

It's mostly Africans foolish broke men that believe having kids is a blessing. All over the world men are avoiding marriage as it leads to severely lower living standards. It's so bad in so many countries now that government is even offering incentives to people to have a family. It's only in Nigeria and other shithole African countries that people see having a family as a good thing whereas na suffering dey wait o

Are you saying your father, an african man was foolish for having you as a kid? He must have taught you will be a blessing, instead you are a cursed existence to him right?

You Nigerian men will always use western men as the yardstick for your continuous failure as if you contributed immensely to the civilisation of the world today, if you do not want to marry, sit your single ass where the sun hates you and keep shut, no one put a gun to your head to marry and breed.

Biglittlelois:



Are you saying your father, an african man was foolish for having you as a kid? He must have taught you will be a blessing, instead you are a cursed existence to him right?

You Nigerian men will always use western men as the yardstick for your continuous failure as if you contributed immensely to the civilisation of the world today, if you do not want to marry, sit your single ass where the sun hates you and keep shut, no one put a gun to your head to marry and breed.

I knew someone was gonna say this. Yes he was foolish for doing so. You think if I had a choice to be a Nigerian and to not exist at all, I will choose the former.

mk3jax:


The incentives given in the west is only transient as the men will still get bleeped in the family court when the marriage ends. So the men will always loose anyway.
The major problem I see with modern family is that the men are expected to retain the 1900 status as provider and protector while the women have abandoned their 1900 roles. What are the incentives for a man to commit in todays world?

And yet, everywhere in the world today, people are getting married every weekend, the few projections of the media makes you think more people are single than married or avoiding marriage entirely, all these ones staying in their closet and yarning apata smh

The 1900 roles of protector and provision by men, and home maker by women is still on going in Nigeria today, Nigerian men are actually the idiots that wants a selfish modern marriage of equal financial provision from husband and wife, but refuse to be a hands on home maker, yet they are still the idiots running upandan, pouring spittle about as if they are being cheated in marriage, the modern western marriage that all of you like to use as an example is an all hands on deck running of the home, as in the husband will wash toilet, cook, clean, change daipers, and bath kids, how many of you black egoistically dumb negroes will agree to such terms?

Like I said earlier, pls don't marry, it is not by force, you will be doing Nigeria a huge favour of decreasing population explosion.

tensazangetsu20:


I knew someone was gonna say this. Yes he was foolish for doing so. You think if I had a choice to be a Nigerian and to not exist at all, I will choose the former.

You can start by not existing right now, simply off yourself, that way, you're doing your "foolish" father a huge favour, but before you do that, pray to whatever galaxy you believe in to teleport you to a country of your choice in your next life.

tensazangetsu20:

Lol you are a lady. It's okay to have countless children Afterall you won't be the one caring for them. Like the article says no difference between women and children.

Your father sees your mother as a child, so I understand where your hallucinations comes from, I'm sure if you meet Okonjo iweala tomorrow, you will pee in your pants cos of her imposing personality and grace, you, a man, your father, any common man, will be like a child in her presence(that is how ridiculous you sound in your women children analogy).

Biglittlelois:



You can start by not existing right now, simply off yourself, that way, you're doing your "foolish" father a huge favour, but before you do that, pray to whatever galaxy you believe in to teleport you to a country of your choice in your next life.

Calm down dear. The truth of the matter is that majority of us shouldn't have been born into this world. Majority don't have any business existing.

Religious-wise, majority of humans are useless to God. There's no doubt that Christians believe that majority will end in hell. At least 99% will go to hell (according to biblical teachings and current day revelations) so the idea of birthing candidates of hell has never and will never be a blessing to God.

That statement "children are a blessing" from the bible should never be heard among perpetual sinners. Humans today are perpetual and radical sinners so we should stop using that line.

Humanity-wise, majority are just useless to themselves and their environment. Tell me, would you prefer to live with kidnappers, armed robbers, bandits, and religious terrorists if you have a choice? Na pesin born these people o , they were "blessings" to their parents at their respective naming ceremonies.

Normal normal, we no suppose pass 10 million in Nigeria If we had a sane government, the remainder (190 million) would never have existed.

ReacherSaidNoth:
Marriage is thankless service to women. Even if they suddenly showed true gratitude what's that compared to a lifetime of self-sacrifice?

It is this dumb rhetorics that make materialistic women useless you guys that has nothing in your head except money, no woman will thank any man because of marriage cos you are not doing anyone any favourable service, remain single forever and live a thankful service to yourself alone, very simple.

cococandy:
Says the people whose lives fall apart the moment there’s not a woman in the family to hold everything together. Now there’s no difference between women and children. I’ve heard it all.

Your children raise themselves?
They feed themselves and feed you?
They keep the home running?
They go to work and contribute financially to the home? What amazing competent and capable children y’all must have then.

Every single minute on this forum there’s no lack of misogynistic tripe aimed at minimizing the worth of women even though most of can’t survive without them. But interesting thread . Yay. Perfect.

Thank you, the misogyny is really becoming nerve racking, I expect changes from most men here this new year but it seems it will be same rants year in year out all the time.

I just realised or should I say, became aware of something recently, looking at the ratio of comments by females and males, threads created by both genders, you'd see 80% are males, it begs the question, don't they have jobs or something doing outside this place? I mean, are most men really that idle they can't look for something worthwhile to engage themselves in instead of same complaints and rants about women, relationships money all the time? in fact, all nairaland sections are 90% male occupants, very very big shame to you all.

cococandy:

You’d think so. But they aren’t though.

It seems men can’t truly stand the idea of unmarried women. I’m hoping to see more men especially those who think marriage doesn’t benefit them stay single. Honestly many family problems can be avoided if men who think marriage isn’t for them chose not to go that route . But they will not and I wonder why. Maybe there’s a lie in there somewhere

True. I agree.

babyfaceafrica:
Very True. A coursemate once told me in school she can't date a short black man.. Fast forward last year.. She married one!! Never take ladies words literally

So your course mate's changed decision is the basis to conclude for all ladies words literally? You as a man have never changed your mind or decision on something or someone in your life?

Who raised this ones for Pete's sake? Like what the hell is wrong with you all sef? Is it that you guys just agreed to not use your brain to think when it comes to women? Any little degradation, insults, or untrue words against women gives you all some kind of fulfillment or award? Smh!!!

Biglittlelois:



Thank you, the misogyny is really becoming nerve racking, I expect changes from most men here this new year but it seems it will be same rants year in year out all the time.

Day in day out. They are relentless

cococandy:
Mmm I see. Now that we’ve pointed out what’s problematic with the thread, you want to avoid the fact that it’s problematic and try to shift the focus onto me. Nothing new here.

“Maybe the OP post struck a chord?” Of course it did. Why do you think I’m commenting?

Seeing women hold their own EVERY SINGLE DAY in marriages only to come online and read thrash about how we are a burden and eternal adolescents and make life harder bla bla bla and then see y’all classify is interesting and logical conversation did indeed strike a chord. Was that supposed to make me defensive?

And look who’s worried about generalizations. You have no problem when the OP was generalizing. Hypocritical much?

Kikikikikiki

Stop making this about you sweetheart, cause it isn't...

In as much as they're families where women "hold their own", they're a lot more where they don't!!!

And it's those kind of women the OP described up there...

And you know...
Come to think of it...
I haven't seen you speak this much vehement against threads that bash and demean men...

Oh yeah...
I remember...
It's the hypocrisy you spoke about

Biglittlelois:
I just realised or should I say, became aware of something recently, looking at the ratio of comments by females and males, threads created by both genders, you'd see 80% are males, it begs the question, don't they have jobs or something doing outside this place? I mean, are most men really that idle they can't look for something worthwhile to engage themselves in instead of same complaints and rants about women, relationships money all the time? in fact, all nairaland sections are 90% male occupants, very very big shame to you all.

The average guy don't do Tiktok, Snapchat, Facebook, IG, and Instablog gossip. So the ratio is not out of place.

babyfaceafrica:
The money no small I, na GLK the guy dey use o

That explains it then...

Beautiful responses here to the eternal negativity some boys use as a screen for their life insecurities and failures.

If marriage is so bad why not ignore it, rather than fighting it all day with hard words, when in the end it is likely that a lack of money has made you disdain, hate women, relationship goals and statuses that are unattainable to you? These things sound like self-hate being projected at women.

Same misogynists/women scorners that are secretly dying and plotting to have romance and get married to the dreaded women one way or the other, by hook and by crook. There's a lot of growing up to be done.

cococandy:


Don’t commit. Women don’t add anything to your life. It’s trap. You will loose. Women don’t work. They don’t bring any money to the family. They won’t even feed you. You will be the provider and “protector” and she will just sit on the couch all day and do nothing. Not even bringing up your children that’s if they even agree to have kids for you.

There’s nothing in it for you. Stay away

Keep quiet

crackhaus:

That explains it then...

Yes boss
Money moves mountain

Seeing women reasoning and contribution in this thread I can only conclude that they're irredeemable psychopaths


They're all about themselves, your pain is none of of their business. This is madness

This man/woman matter go cause civil war for nairaland ooo. Thank you @greenie77 for converting me.

I leave in peace.

Vision101:
This man/woman matter go cause civil war for nairaland ooo. Thank you @greenie77 for converting me.

I leave in peace.

Uncle Vision101, happy new year o!.

Biglittlelois:



And yet, everywhere in the world today, people are getting married every weekend, the few projections of the media makes you think more people are single than married or avoiding marriage entirely, all these ones staying in their closet and yarning apata smh

The 1900 roles of protector and provision by men, and home maker by women is still on going in Nigeria today, Nigerian men are actually the idiots that wants a selfish modern marriage of equal financial provision from husband and wife, but refuse to be a hands on home maker, yet they are still the idiots running upandan, pouring spittle about as if they are being cheated in marriage, the modern western marriage that all of you like to use as an example is an all hands on deck running of the home, as in the husband will wash toilet, cook, clean, change daipers, and bath kids, how many of you black egoistically dumb negroes will agree to such terms?

Like I said earlier, pls don't marry, it is not by force, you will be doing Nigeria a huge favour of decreasing population explosion.

You get mouth!

obinna58:
Seeing women reasoning and contribution in this thread I can only conclude that they're irredeemable psychopaths


They're all about themselves, your pain is none of of their business. This is madness

You have no idea what madness looks like!

Have you ever wondered why overwhelming majority of psychopaths are male?

@greenie77

Uncle Vision101, happy new year o!


@me
Happy new year my beautiful sis. More £ into your account in 2022. You have saved me from nairaland man/woman matter.

You didn't send tithe to uncle this season.

Vision101:
@greenie77

Uncle Vision101, happy new year o!


@me
Happy new year my beautiful sis. More £ into your account in 2022. You have saved me from nairaland man/woman matter.

You didn't send tithe to uncle this season.

Tithe wetin, my Parish Priest here no dey ask for am . I say Amen!!! to the " more £" make my hourly pay increase o!

@greenie77

Tithe wetin, my Parish Priest here no dey ask for am . I say Amen!!! to the " more £" make my hourly pay increase o!


@me
Leave oyibo matter to oyibo. They have coded ways of collecting theirs ..

Your hourly pay will increase this year. When it does send uncle's share. Send it in hard currency and I will receive it in soft currency. I love soft currency