If you were sexually abused when you are 10 years old by your step-brother, not just anyhow step brother, because people hardly know that you are not frm the same mother, and he is 25 years older than you. My question is "can you forgive him?"

Well, if I were which can never be of course, I will forgive him. God enjoins us to forgive and if you don't God himself will not forgive you and we sin on daily basis.

I would never forgive such. It's psychological and can even leads to many things and anytime I remember I'll put curse on him and his entire family.

its up to you what u want to do..its funny cuz this actually happened to me...and i actually forgave him....i found out when i did that..i actually felt better and kind of at peace with myself..it kind of let all the hurt go away.

Laide, don't you think it really affected you one way or the other? I mean psychological trauma and stuff.

It sure has. But dwelling on it, by still having ill thougts of the person really doesnt help.

I can tell you that, with the help of friends, God, and some counselling, I guess am goin to pull through what he did. It hurt me in everyway, that I found it so hard to trust another human being, because i really looked up to him. But i found out I couldnt live my life that way, with so much hatred and bitterness that way it's almost like he won.

Women are so quick to forgive sexual abusers. This is why women will keep being abused. If you forgive him without reporting and getting him punished, without disgracing him in public or getting him to spend a few years in prison, he will do it to other children under his care including his own children.

I am disgusted by the way you women women "forgive" sexual abusers without pushing for repentance on their part. Personally, I won't forgive any criminal who has not changed his ways and I think women are foolish to be so quick to forgive and that's why till tommorrow there will be violence against women in this country and it is your fault for not dealing with it intelligently and decisively.

Do you think your parents would have allowed your step-brother to keep abusing you sexually if you bothered to tell them? You think your father would be happy to hear that some boy is messing with his 10 year old daughter's life? So why not just report to him at the time, for goodness sake?

for the first time seun i totaly agree with all you just said totally

you all would forgive right and remember wahat the bible said about forgiveness so that he can forgive u i know it is too hard but it little by little then all the wounds would be healed God bless you all

the question you should ask is not can you but do you want to. forgiveness is a decision we make when we have been appeased. the question is what if we are never appeased? do we continue carrying that cancer with us eating away at every guy that comes our way? a decision must be made, forgiveness is not an option if u want to walk away from something that is 25 years old . gina i am the one that did it? can you find it in you to forgive me? Forgive me and leave me to GOD'S judgement, please . i want you to live a normal life.

from someone that cares

Hmm...

If the stepbrother were a mere 2/3 years older than me, I would forgive him in later years putting his actions down to an overdose of testosterone. But 25 years older? He's old enough to know better, old enough to be my father and certainly old enough to take responsibility for his actions.

I might forgive him based on what the Holy book preaches, but he will pay. Payment might come in the form of facing our parents and explaining the demon that possessed him to do whatever he did. I will never be able to forget however and our relationship will be forever fragile.

Ra how do you know it was a demon that pushed him to do such?
Anyway, I've said something like this in this forum and they nearly nicknamed me "Demologist"
or demon caster.

You better don't allow those who do not believe in demon nickname you like myself.

Ah dis is a tuff question o! Will i forgive my stepbrother if he sexually abused me probably not because he had 2 know that we were related before abusing me but really i say i won't forgive him but i might eventually forgive him anyways.

well it critical decision to make but then i know of this saying that says he who does not forgive others breaks the bridge in which him/her most pass. forgiveness is diffcult and it is really not into havinng thing to do with the level of harm the person has done to you but it the spirit to forgive people and which we should all try to develop as believers ok?

well it critical decision to make but then i know of this saying that says he who does not forgive others breaks the bridge in which him/her most pass. forgiveness is diffcult and it is really not into havinng thing to do with the level of harm the person has done to you but it the spirit to forgive people and which we should all try to develop as believers ok?

well it critical decision to make but then i know of this saying that says he who does not forgive others breaks the bridge in which him/her most pass. forgiveness is diffcult and it is really not into havinng thing to do with the level of harm the person has done to you but it the spirit to forgive people and which we should all try to develop as believers ok?

why are people always in a hurry to call God and talk about forgiveness quoting shizzle from the bible


na wa for u people o esp we nigerians even if you kill someone u will say erm

Greatpeter:

I will forgive him. God enjoins us to forgive and if you don't God himself will not forgive you and we sin on daily basis.

This is one of the reason why that country is not progressing!!

think of it personally if someone do the same to ur daughter will u be quoting the bible?

THUNDER! would fire any step brother or step sister that tries that with me. GOD knows his/her life would not be complete again.

@ must a far, God does not send thurder or whatever you call to fire someone, God invites sins to him you know forgiveness is hard but then one day you would have to, the fact is that the scar never go off, so therefore pray that you shall not experience such thing because it is big trial and we as christians most fight and were will be winners one day.

so u might think,

yea,u can forgave him but it will be very hard for u to forgive him

A 35year old MONSTER?Abusing a 10year old.Please that kind of forgiveness is with God.
I know you must have consented at that time but its wickedness cos at 10 you gat no mind of your own.
If you don't forgive him God will understand but you know what?Pray for God to get it off your mind and move on.
Make sure you report him to family members cos he will still abuse kids in his care like Seun said.
Wicked fool.

i'm sorry about the abuse.Its one thing to go through it,and another thing to be told about it.So ,please forgive their insensitivities.
i understand exactly what you must be going through,but yoiu are not alone in this.
I too was abused when I was 5 or 6,or even earlier,by more than one cousin,both male and female.today,i'm bisexual,and all people do is condemn ME for something i was too young to stop.Now i'm really not sure if i'm bi becos of the abuse or otherwise,but it may have contributed to it.
I think first of all that you should talk to someone about it.A psychologist would have been ideal but in Naija they all in the banks sotalk about it with someone who you respect and possibly someone who doesnt know your family too well.I have come to learn that talking about it with someone helps a lot.
i also think you should forgive your step-brother,but let him know what the abuse has done to you.what he says or how he responds is entirely up to him,dont even expect an apology,but by doing this and forgiving him,you are freeing YOURSELF.
and then move on.God will give you the strength to.
Good luck.

Right the naija environment is sincerely a difficult one to handle such but not telling anyone in the family?How about the other kids exposed to this same guy?Their souls won't forgive you if they fall victims too.

you can't just expect some1 who has passed thru all these to just forgive like that.its easy said that done

hell no i can forgive . but i will never forget which is going to make me hate him.

Seun:
Women are so quick to forgive sexual abusers. This is why women will keep being abused. If you forgive him without reporting and getting him punished, without disgracing him in public or getting him to spend a few years in prison, he will do it to other children under his care including his own children.

I am disgusted by the way you women women "forgive" sexual abusers without pushing for repentance on their part. Personally, I won't forgive any criminal who has not changed his ways and I think women are foolish to be so quick to forgive and that's why till tommorrow there will be violence against women in this country and it is your fault for not dealing with it intelligently and decisively.

Do you think your parents would have allowed your step-brother to keep abusing you sexually if you bothered to tell them? You think your father would be happy to hear that some boy is messing with his 10 year old daughter's life? So why not just report to him at the time, for goodness sake?

Women purportedly forgive because exposing the culprit means exposing oneself. No woman would want to be tagged a rape victim