paulokwudiri:

i dey feel you bro

hahahaha!

how you doing big guy?
blessings

Guy they go to wester world to hustle and come bk home to enjoy their sweat.or do u expect them to enjoy over there and suffer here, must everybody be a prodigal son, pls leave them alone,i never been there but if, i wil do d same

i think u mesuderstaood me, i am not talking about the people who have made it big and come home and live big O!!
just the struggling ones over there who come home and pretend, that is the issue

i pray sha that ur dreams come true my guy

Amin,

@poster, ths is just the problem wt Nigerians and its one of d rizn why evryone is striving to make it by all means wen they travelled abroad.
The people at home are the main cause of this behaviour because once they knw u hv travelled overseas,evryone wl be requesting for sometin and even telling u wat other guys that travelled were doing for their relatives. If u tel them that u are nt doing drugs bt a legitimate job,some wl say that u aren't smart enuf and that u are so dull.
I knw a guy that travelled to South Africa last year june,he thot he wl hit it fast bt nw he's regreting it,coming bak is his best decision nw bt he doesn't wnt to come bak empty handed. He shares a room wt 4 guys who came b4 hm and yet none is doing well,they hardly feeds and her sister has sent almost $3k to hm.
Its really a problem wt we Nigerians bt nt all.

??

Digriz:

@poster, ths is just the problem wt Nigerians and its one of d rizn why evryone is striving to make it by all means wen they travelled abroad.
The people at home are the main cause of this behaviour because once they knw u hv travelled overseas,evryone wl be requesting for sometin and even telling u wat other guys that travelled were doing for their relatives. If u tel them that u are nt doing drugs bt a legitimate job,some wl say that u aren't smart enuf and that u are so dull.
I knw a guy that travelled to South Africa last year june,he thot he wl hit it fast bt nw he's regreting it,coming bak is his best decision nw bt he doesn't wnt to come bak empty handed. He shares a room wt 4 guys who came b4 hm and yet none is doing well,they hardly feeds and her sister has sent almost $3k to hm.
Its really a problem wt we Nigerians bt nt all.

yes, i totally agree with you and i understand what u r saying!

it's like that even in europe and one day after one of those boys sharing a room have suffered up and down and save 5k or 10k he will go to naija and pretend he has made it big and everyone will be envious but only for him to go back to his hard life selling bananas on the streets of south africa!!
but it can only stop if we smarten up and let people at home who r too weak or too poor to travel or send their children away, turn around n tell us how to live and what's up!!
if they say we r dull for not selling drugs or prostituting or doing 419, no problem, they should come and do it or send their children so that way, they will not need us to go steal or do anything to impress or help them!!

what do u think??

we need to be strong and stopped being so weak and controlled by what others say or think of us, life is hard for everyone including the people running their mouths always

my people,u can make it legaly without comit astrocity ,alow people to advice u but dont alow pple to control, dont alow anybody to push u to d world, i agree dat most of pple @home are d cause of most thint, let them send dere children to go and do those rubish,na so he dey easy, nl enjoy urself

Digriz:

@poster, ths is just the problem wt Nigerians and its one of d rizn why evryone is striving to make it by all means wen they travelled abroad.
The people at home are the main cause of this behaviour because once they knw u hv travelled overseas,evryone wl be requesting for sometin and even telling u wat other guys that travelled were doing for their relatives. If u tel them that u are nt doing drugs bt a legitimate job,some wl say that u aren't smart enuf and that u are so dull.
I knw a guy that travelled to South Africa last year june,he thot he wl hit it fast bt nw he's regreting it,coming bak is his best decision nw bt he doesn't wnt to come bak empty handed. He shares a room wt 4 guys who came b4 hm and yet none is doing well,they hardly feeds and her sister has sent almost $3k to hm.
Its really a problem wt we Nigerians bt nt all.

How are the people at home the main cause of this behavoiur ehn? how can u hold other people responsible for your own behaviour? You simply react like that because you have been lying to yourself so if you tell them you dont have money they will lynch you.? have they lynched the ones in Nigeria because they dont have? Yes people have expectations high and low but they are also aware of the realities of the day if you let them know. A lot of Nigerians know say na hustle full that side you just need not be a showoff. When you tell the truth it will set you free.

Quote from: Digriz on July 03, 2011, 10:07 PM
@poster, ths is just the problem wt Nigerians and its one of d rizn why evryone is striving to make it by all means wen they travelled abroad.
The people at home are the main cause of this behaviour because once they knw u hv travelled overseas,evryone wl be requesting for sometin and even telling u wat other guys that travelled were doing for their relatives. If u tel them that u are nt doing drugs bt a legitimate job,some wl say that u aren't smart enuf and that u are so dull.
I knw a guy that travelled to South Africa last year june,he thot he wl hit it fast bt nw he's regreting it,coming bak is his best decision nw bt he doesn't wnt to come bak empty handed. He shares a room wt 4 guys who came b4 hm and yet none is doing well,they hardly feeds and her sister has sent almost $3k to hm.
Its really a problem wt we Nigerians bt nt all.

How are the people at home the main cause of this behavoiur ehn? how can u hold other people responsible for your own behaviour? You simply react like that because you have been lying to yourself so if you tell them you dont have money they will lynch you.? have they lynched the ones in Nigeria because they dont have? Yes people have expectations high and low but they are also aware of the realities of the day if you let them know. A lot of Nigerians know say na hustle full that side you just need not be a showoff. When you tell the truth it will set you free.

it's easier said than done, africans are raised with family values and it's not like in the west where it's usually me me me! we r not happy unless we have the approval of family , this is why they can have so much influence on us all - even politician thieves in nigeria mostly steal to be hailed and approved by the people - if no one cares, as in the West, then they would struggle mostly for what they need, rather than show off lifestyle!

@poster hmmmmm let me try in my own way to answer your question which i find very interesting,i have personally notice this trend a lot among some friends i have but let me use my self in this case,during my first visit home i shouted at the rooftops on top of my voice to all my relatives and friends that the western world is not easy o,even told them about the farm where i was working then,but do you know what they called me at the end of the day?a selfish man who didnt want to help anybodyi was called names by my own brothers and sister and even parents,i remember a particular friend i advised against travelling then nothing this guy no take spoil my name but as for me have resolved to speak the truth at all times no matter what thats me for you.
The truth is there are certain things very difficult to explain to poor folks back home,for instance take a look at any nigerian or immigrant here everyone looks fresh,despite whatever they might be going through,even a common cleaner in europe looks fresher than a minister in nigeria though the minster is richer in terms of money in the account,but in apperance the minister looks like the one suffering , now when this "cleaner" visits nigeria,even his friends and family cant reconganise him again,what do you expect them to say or belive?even if the guy decides to dey wear slippers and rags it will still be obvious that say this guy no be homebased o.the truth is that there are certain advantages in living in a developed world,you can never compare the living standard of a poor white man to a middle class nigerian living in nigeria,the so called poor whiteman can still enjoy certain things a poorman can never enjoy in nigeria like for example equality before the law ,a decent car etc so many people are aready to live in one room as long as they can gather their earnings here to build a home back home,if you ask me i think thats a very wise and smart thing,a rent for a flat here for two months can rent you a flat in lagos for a year

Exchange rate makes it possible

$tunna:

Quote from: Digriz on July 03, 2011, 10:07 PM
@poster, ths is just the problem wt Nigerians and its one of d rizn why evryone is striving to make it by all means wen they travelled abroad.
The people at home are the main cause of this behaviour because once they knw u hv travelled overseas,evryone wl be requesting for sometin and even telling u wat other guys that travelled were doing for their relatives. If u tel them that u are nt doing drugs bt a legitimate job,some wl say that u aren't smart enuf and that u are so dull.
I knw a guy that travelled to South Africa last year june,he thot he wl hit it fast bt nw he's regreting it,coming bak is his best decision nw bt he doesn't wnt to come bak empty handed. He shares a room wt 4 guys who came b4 hm and yet none is doing well,they hardly feeds and her sister has sent almost $3k to hm.
Its really a problem wt we Nigerians bt nt all.

it's easier said than done, africans are raised with family values and it's not like in the west where it's usually me me me! we r not happy unless we have the approval of family , this is why they can have so much influence on us all - even politician thieves in nigeria mostly steal to be hailed and approved by the people - if no one cares, as in the West, then they would struggle mostly for what they need, rather than show off lifestyle!

You knw sometimes Nigerians in diaspora come back home very loud and like to show that they live abroad and when everyone descends on them they start shouting.why cant a man tell his mother and father and siblings the true state of his finances? how is he suddenly responsible for all the adult in the family? the worst part is the friends must you impress them? Unless the education or feeding of his siblings were stopped so he could get abroad thats when he should feel bad when he is not in a position to help them out and so cough out all his savings and even at that sense dictates that he should know the savings can be transformed into extra for the future so why spend it on frivolous things to make believe he has made it and you knw Nigerians got big ego so they like brother brother is coming. This boils down to being honest with yoursewlf and people around you plus the initial mindset of your travel the truth being lots of Nigerians think its easy over there and they can make quick money then come home and shine.

I know expectations are high but you cant give what you dont have and peoples expectations is no excuse to go into crime or prostitution and if you believe in yourself and are there legally or ilegally (things go hard sha) with clear goals and vision for yourself its just a matter of time before you can show some love but if you are looking at chidi that went yesterday came back with x6,built a mansion for his father and bought car for his father you will put yourself under unnecessary pressure also politicians steal because the system allows them to steal and become rolemodels. If you watch too much Nigerian movies you might also be under pressure.

frankkky:

@poster hmmmmm let me try in my own way to answer your question which i find very interesting,i have personally notice this trend a lot among some friends i have but let me use my self in this case,during my first visit home i shouted at the rooftops on top of my voice to all my relatives and friends that the western world is not easy o,even told them about the farm where i was working then,but do you know what they called me at the end of the day?a selfish man who didnt want to help anybodyi was called names by my own brothers and sister and even parents,i remember a particular friend i advised against travelling then nothing this guy no take spoil my name but as for me have resolved to speak the truth at all times no matter what thats me for you.
The truth is there are certain things very difficult to explain to poor folks back home,for instance take a look at any nigerian or immigrant here everyone looks fresh,despite whatever they might be going through,even a common cleaner in europe looks fresher than a minister in nigeria though the minster is richer in terms of money in the account,but in apperance the minister looks like the one suffering , now when this "cleaner" visits nigeria,even his friends and family cant reconganise him again,what do you expect them to say or belive?even if the guy decides to dey wear slippers and rags it will still be obvious that say this guy no be homebased o.the truth is that there are certain advantages in living in a developed world,you can never compare the living standard of a poor white man to a middle class nigerian living in nigeria,the so called poor whiteman can still enjoy certain things a poorman can never enjoy in nigeria like for example equality before the law ,a decent car etc so many people are aready to live in one room as long as they can gather their earnings here to build a home back home,if you ask me i think thats a very wise and smart thing,a rent for a flat here for two months  can rent you a flat in lagos for a year

well, if u live in Europe, why do u wanna rent a flat in Lagos?? my father build a small house in the village where mom raised us, not in the villiage of his mother where he was born!

so, why does a man not save up mpney to rext a good place where they live rather than share rooms and then go live it up elsewhere on vacations, ?

u do have many good points and from reading, i see there r many reasons why guys do this:
i just want ur further opinion on the above point! thanks

andromida:

You knw sometimes Nigerians in diaspora come back home very loud and like to show that they live abroad and when everyone descends on them they start shouting.why cant a man tell his mother and father and siblings the true state of his finances? how is he,

I know expectations are high but you cant give what you dont have and peoples expectations is no excuse to go into crime or prostitution and if you believe in yourself and are there legally or ilegally (things go hard sha) with clear goals and vision for yourself its just a matter of time before you can show some love but if you are looking at chidi that went yesterday came back with x6,built a mansion for his father and bought car for his father you will put yourself under unnecessary pressure also politicians steal because the system allows them to steal and become rolemodels. If you watch too much Nigerian movies you might also be under pressure.

again you hav raised some very interesting observations based on facts! i do agree with u, but i however believe that a very substantial part of the reason people do this who live like a retched african man while in europe and go live like a weathy european while in africa for two or four weeks n then come back and continue with the previous retched life

some new wives wanna leave because they say the men came to lie to them about his lifestyle, after they get to europeor america and there r no mansions belonging to these guys!!

but u r on points

@poster let me try and answer the points you raised out of my response cause they are good points,yes why would someone live in europe and go and rent a flat in lagos?i was only making reference to the exchange rate of naira to the euro,in my case i rented a flat in lagos for two years before i completed building my house, why?because it was cheaper than paying for hotels anytime i visited home and some of my siblings who were corpers then had to have somewhere to stay in lagos.
Another thing is that except for the ones from wealthy homes in nigeria,the rest of us travelled out to make a better life for ourselves,to go back home one day and settle down because there is no place like home(my own personal belief),so the reason for leaving becomes the focal point of whatever you are doing ,personally i dont like the idea of living stingy here just to do things back home but i was once in that stage hence i cant blame guys who are in that current situation,if i see u doing an honest work here and living in a room but building a home back home i commend you and even help out at times ,today i live alone in a decent flat and have over two mansions in nigeria and i am sure many are like that today but it wasnt easy at the begining ,that is the point am trying to make.in my case at everystage i was trutfull to my friends and family back home,whether they choosed to belive me or not is their problem not mine,i even lost the woman i was supposed to marry then cause things were still rough for me here,i refused to bring her over then and i didnt want to waste her time or give her a wrong immpression ,the only thing that pained me is that now that things are ok for me she is married,thats life for you but i would never bring a woman to come join me to hustle that time but some guys would do it,i think thats the point you making here sha

^^^^ true talk. If most men are honest enough to tell the women the true state of things many women will come with them prepared the ones who leave because they cant stomach hardship have a right to leave as well lets face it most women do not have the heart for unnecessary suffering except when situation makes it compulsory if given a choice they will opt out.

I guess i agree that some people do go home and pretend. But even those who live in Europe and the Americas do the same. I mean everyone works and eventually you take a vacation and how you choose to spend that time is your concern. If you want to go home to show off so be it at least you worked hard for that money.

poster have you ever been on vacation to an all inclusive resort? where your food drinks entertainment is paid for even before you get there and you go to such a resort a live like a king because people cater to your every need. After the week or 2 weeks you spend there you have to go home and at home no one brings you a drink or food . I say this to say that is how i spend my vacations and if someone want to go home with a new jeep and front like they are ballers then so be it it's their own vacation.

omega25red:

I guess i agree that some people do go home and pretend. But even those who live in Europe and the Americas do the same. I mean everyone works and eventually you take a vacation and how you choose to spend that time is your concern. If you want to go home to show off so be it at least you worked hard for that money.

poster have you ever been on vacation to an all inclusive resort? where your food drinks entertainment is paid for even before you get there and you go to such a resort a live like a king because people cater to your every need. After the week or 2 weeks you spend there you have to go home and at home no one brings you a drink or food . I say this to say that is how i spend my vacations and if someone want to go home with a new jeep and front like they are ballers then so be it it's their own vacation.

points taken; however, when people go on vacations in the West and spend one or two thousand dollars for a week or two, remember they may come back to a house where the monthly mortgage is like 2 or 3000 dollars so by any means ,,,the vacations is withing their lifestyle as far as i can see! in the west, people rent a car when they go on vacations but i have countless people who say while living in Europe, they ship down a 5000 dollar jeep becos they might go home for two or 3 weeks 2years from now and are then pissed when their bros use and wreck the jeep before they come!

u r on point but their are some egregious situations that im referring to here, same as people in the 80s; fly to Japan for 3 year then back home with a BMW and 10k but with no Visa n be stranded for ever-after back in naija in poorverty, after showing off for a year!! whats up with that??

that's the kind of foolishness im talking about, u feel me!

frankkky:

@poster let me try and answer the points you raised out of my response cause they are good points,yes why would someone live in europe and go and rent a flat in lagos?i was only making reference  to the exchange rate of naira to the euro,in my case i rented a flat in lagos for two years before i completed building my house, why?because it was cheaper than paying for hotels anytime i visited home and some of my siblings who were corpers then had to have somewhere to stay in lagos.
Another thing is that except for the ones from wealthy homes in nigeria,the rest of us travelled out to make a better life for ourselves,to go back home one day and settle down because  there is no place like home(my own personal belief),so the reason for leaving becomes the focal point of whatever you are doing ,personally i dont like the idea of living stingy here just to do things back home but i was once in that stage hence i cant blame guys who are in that current situation,if i see u doing an honest work here and living in a room but building a home back home i commend you and even help out at times ,today i live alone in a decent flat and have over two mansions in  nigeria and i am sure many are like that today but it wasnt easy at the begining ,that is the point am trying to make.in my case at everystage i was trutfull to my friends and family back home,whether they choosed to belive me or not is their problem not mine,i even lost the woman i was supposed to marry then cause things were still rough for me here,i refused to bring her over then  and i didnt want to waste her time or give her a wrong immpression ,the only thing that pained me is that now that things are ok for me she is married,thats life for you but i would never bring a woman to come join me to hustle that time but some guys would do it,i think thats the point you making here sha

i understand what u mean bro,

however, i seems to have taken a different approach than you have, in the sense that i decided to build my Mansion where i actually live b4 maybe building one back home, either now or later when im ready or willing to move back there!
im convinced that since i have one life to live that i know of, i must live it in the best house and environment as possible!
we all must 1st live in one room or share a room but you did so while saving money to build ur own place as an investment in ur future, very good! but the issue i raised is with people who rush there to go and show they have made it when in fact they hav not!

look at any naija movie: graduate from college, leave a girl and travel while ur school mates stay home and struggle; come back three years later and she is dating a local okay guy who have been struggling as a manager for 15years at some company and she is fighting with him n taking a walk when u zoom by on ur 70.000Jeep; u pick her up and take her to ur hotel and apologize and the two of u go mansion shopping a few days later and buy few more jeeps and live happily ever after or until, the efcc comes calling! hahahahaha!

why am i still seeing this story repeated in naija movie today?? no wonder i hear most of the men who were married to naija actresses left them for women from overseas,
the pretending must stop
most nigerians who drive jeeps can not afford the monthly insurance cost in a society with laws and order!!
even in advanced nations, nigerians often drive a 50.000jeep n not have insurance as they can not afford it, so what gives??

so, it's the attitude that is the source of this behaviour that im trying to address here, and im glad with the contributions from yall so far