Hahaha haha, I do all that, my kids are 7 and 4yrs. I still bath them, clean their bumbum when they poop. There's nothing in that. As a matter of fact the only area I'm lazy doing domestic chores like cooking.

Fridaya30:
Bath them too , pack the pups, replace the pampers, breastfeed the baby, pamper ham if na cry the baby Dey cry, be there always to attend to the baby’s needs �.
Abeg find another thing talk about. U think say e easy to be a mother. I be man o. Before u come replying yin yin yan yan yan

kansoboy:


How many mummy they do school work?
Most times father's do it

True

God bless the op, this is the best thread ever on nairaland. We are also trying to change the way we reason, not everything involve force, diplomacy is the way to go

CondemnBattery:
I wish I could give you more likes. You have spoken like a real man that was both a child and is a husband

They key to all this is this.

As a man while you hustle hustle hard to take care of your family at same time reserve certain amounts in savings for your old age in an account not known to your wife or kids maybe known to a trusted friend or brother or sister in case of any sudden exit. You may also keep some properties that generates you revenue to sustain your life style at old age.

Men are unfairly treated and the kind of wives we have this days most are horrible they will totally turn the kids against the man. Only very few understands the deep and unseen sacrifices the man put through.

lucky4west:
if you are within Ikeja come now let me buy you a drink....you have nailed it...this kind of manipulation (though at times may not be the intentions of the woman) has made most kids grow up scared of their Dad(who in most cases is thinking of how to pay their bills: this morning now i don pay school fees for one of my kids and still thinking of how the raise the rest for others when i never even chop!)...at times my wife use to wait for me to punish the kids when they commit their never-ending misdemeanor ...from today na she go de punish dem herself...if dem do am for my presence i go punish dem on my own

When you are punishing them, explain to them why. So they develop a clear sense of right and wrong .

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

You are actually off point to what op is saying.

Moheat:

Funnily, you don't know what you are saying.

He has a point!! There is no way a sailor, military official posted to North or offshore fathers can cope.. Most spend less than 2 months with their children, while the woman is there.

otipoju:


I observed this. But thing now is the kids come to me when they want to play or need help with fixing something. Should i be worried? For nurturing things...they go to their mum. Little kids.

You are not competing with your wife for their love so it shouldn't really bother you

You should consider yourself blessed that your kids even come to you and can open up to you when they want something and need your help to fix things that shows that you are valuable to them and they think about you.Some children can't even approach their fathers or play with them just be relatable to them they are still growing and you can fit into the nurturing role too because a part of men can be nurturers and sensitive to the needs of kids it isn't a women exclusive thing .

They are still little always play with them, instill values and teach them with love.

Why can't mothers just tell their children, their dad cares about them and say great words instead of instigating the children against their father

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

Doesn't count, both my parents were military personnel, so it doesn't count.

Ladyhippolyta88:


Exactly,it is isn't always about the money but the quality time,love and affection the father gives to their kids that this children will remember more than the gifts they were given.
The values they instilled and their outlook on life also matters too because our children learn from us unconsciously.

Yes. I think these men are getting it wrong and just trying to compete rather than collaborate with their wives and even accusing them of being manipulative rather than taking responsibility and the right actions to have good and quality relationships with their kids.

babyfaceafrica:
Why can't mothers just tell their children, their dad cares about them and say great words instead of instigating the children against their father

Mothers do that too but if the man is a terrible father the children are not blind and can clearly see things for themselves.

And children can interpret your being disciplined when spanking them or not making out time for them as being wicked or indifferent (not showing care) to their well being.

Sometimes to effectively handle children you should reason like them and some father's fail to communicate with their children hence the friction and a bad wife can use it to her advantage

Women more than men are masters of manipulation.

jaxxy:


Yes. I think these men are getting it wrong and just trying to compete rather than collaborate with their wives and even accusing them of being manipulative rather than taking responsibility and the right actions to have good and quality relationships with their kids.

God bless you,you have said it all nothing to add here

There is no big pay off for being a man, we just came into this world to satisfy and sacrifice for other people. Whether you like it all not men must start playing the home front politics too to get their children affection too for all the sacrifice we make.

Man know thyself, Woman know thyself!!!

As husbands dont spend all your life sleeping with only your wife, diversify jare.

Whats the joy in eating only rice for the rest of ya lfe?

Ladyhippolyta88:


Mothers do that too but if the man is a terrible father the children are not blind and can clearly see things for themselves.

And children can interpret your being disciplined when spanking them or not making out time for them as being wicked or indifferent (not showing care) to their well being.

Sometimes to effectively handle children you should reason like them.

Depends on age ooo..
. Maybe for teens, young Children feed on what you tell them. Anyways let love lead. Even when their father misbehaves, there is no reason to pit them against their children.

jaxxy:


Yes. I think these men are getting it wrong and just trying to compete rather than collaborate with their wives and even accusing them of being manipulative rather than taking responsibility and the right actions to have good and quality relationships with their kids.

Easier said from your keyboard, reality differs

Very correct.

Any woman wey wan discipline her pikin and is waiting for me to do it for her in the name of father, go wait tire.

Madam, na your pikin too as well as mine.
Discipline am yourself.

CondemnBattery:
Gbam, most of them will make you see your father as a witch or terror, whereas behind you they will be the ones to incite your dad against you, because when most of these things that will make your dad discipline you will happen your dad won't be at home, but somehow, the wife will report to dad, and dad will take action.

Then when you are away she will tell the kids how you can't even show little mercy.

The earlier men starts playing the family politics, the better for them

Hmmm

Fridaya30:
Bath them too , pack the pups, replace the pampers, breastfeed the baby, pamper ham if na cry the baby Dey cry, be there always to attend to the baby’s needs �.
Abeg find another thing talk about. U think say e easy to be a mother. I be man o. Before u come replying yin yin yan yan yan

Loool the only thing in that write up is buybuy buy, I was expecting to see the above.

Do homework, bathe them, feed them, play with them none of this is there only buy buy buy.

As if buying things will make your children love you.

Some fathers that are not present due to their jobs are better fathers that those available 24/7

babyfaceafrica:
Easier said from your keyboard, reality differs

What is hard in grooming ur kids? U can groom and take care of ur many gfs bt find it hard to be there for ur kids??

It is rocket science?

No matter the logic we men gonna play.... Child will always love mother more than father. What is natural is hard to change... Wake up...

Ladyhippolyta88:


Mothers do that too but if the man is a terrible father the children are not blind and can clearly see things for themselves.

And children can interpret your being disciplined when spanking them or not making out time for them as being wicked or indifferent (not showing care) to their well being.

Sometimes to effectively handle children you should reason like them and some father's fail to communicate with their children hence the friction and a bad wife can use it to her advantage

Most women portray an overly exaggerated negative view of their husbands to their children.

Atleast 90% in Nigeria.

The women will never talk about how he is funding the children school fees, and living expenses.

It's only when he did not drop enough money for soup or is shouting at her that she will talk about.

And then add the fact that it is men that bear the burden of disciplinarian.

Sacrificing our selves and reputation for the greater good, while the mother is there smelling of roses.

Very divisive approach that will make the kids hate you more.
Kids need their daddy not his money.

Until you know that, kids will grow to continue tilting towards mummy side

jaxxy:


What is hard in grooming ur kids? U can groom and take care of ur many gfs bt find it hard to be there for ur kids??

It is rocket science?

You are talking in the nansense here, you and who is doing gfs?

descarado:
Very divisive approach that will make the kids hate you more.
Kids need their daddy not his money.

Until you know that, kids will grow to continue tilting towards mummy side

How can military and sailor daddy cope?

CSTRR:

Most women portray an overly exaggerated negative view of their husbands to their children.

Atleast 90% in Nigeria.

The women will never talk about how he is funding the children school fees, and living expenses.

It's only when he did not drop enough money for soup or is shouting at her that she will talk about.

And then add the fact that it is men that bear the burden of disciplinarian.

Sacrificing our selves and reputation for the greater good, while the mother is there smelling of roses.

Eggzactly it's not a battle that you can win easily. These ladies know how to manipulate these kids. I think it's easier for a man with one wife, but when polygamy comes, it's pretty hard.

babyfaceafrica:
Depends on age ooo..
. Maybe for teens, young Children feed on what you tell them. Anyways let love lead. Even when their father misbehaves, there is no reason to pit them against their children.

Lol children don't always feed on what you tell them but what they see you do. Experts on child development has opined that there is an unconscious learning bias kids have that they see you as a model and are more likely to do what they see you do than what you say to them not all kids feed on what you tell them no child is dumb that if they don't see daddy around to play with them then they can safely conclude that daddy doesn't love them(reasoning as a child without knowing that daddy has to work and provide for them).

I agree with the rest of your statements and I don't believe women should put the kids against their father because he is a bad or terrible husband children shouldn't be involved in such fights.

Morenikeji090:
No matter the logic we men gonna play.... Child will always love mother more than father. What is natural is hard to change... Wake up...

Child will not love mummy more if dad does the right thing.

How many dad do school run, help in homework and listen attentively to gibberish that children say?
Even eat on the same plate with them?

You are eating and cut some meat, call one of your child and give her that meat or divide the meat amongst them?
The child nose is blocked and you do the needful?

During pta, you are there instead of mum?
Mum works as you but make out time for these kids. Cook with them in the kitchen even if it's making a cup of chocolate etc.
These are what endears children to parents not money.

captainamiedi1:
Provide for them. dont be a dead beat father. Always be there for them. even if their mother tell lies about you to them, one day, they will know the truth. i have a dead beat father and i don't about him. he manage the little from my mom. he has never paid my school nor buy food. he would reap where he didn't sow. we have open a shop for my mom. last December i gave her 90k. i gave my dad no money. it was my mom that gave him 10k from her 90k.

The children are not stupid they see all the effort of the parents. you don't drink away ur life and expect so much from me

You say you have a dead beat father and don't care about him, that he never paid for your school or buy food. Is that what your mother told you? Look here bro, what goes arround always comes arround, sebi you'll soon become a father and years from now when you wife replays what your mother did to your father to you, then you will understand!!!!