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Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 10:30am On Jun 18, 2011
Earlier in the year my cousin slowly began to isolate herself. Well she's young so I assumed that kind of behavior was commonplace especially in the western society abi
So to get to the core of the issue, during her self-inflicted isolation she "befriended" one guy on the internet - I say befriended but abeg you people sabi better thing.

My cousin was actually going through a difficult period to be fair to her but instead of reaching out to her nearest and dearest she chose to reach out to a complete stranger over the web  sad

She is usually sensible but I was surprised to find out how far she had taken levels with this stranger (side-note: why do some women allow compliments to go to their head and then begin to forget reasoning )

She started actually skipping school to talk to this guy. I was just thinking what company does this guy provide her that her family members and friends cannot give her again  cry

Anyway she told me that the guy initiated the conversation and in the beginning she was actually weary (actually she's shy). I and her friend warned her that plenty wayo people dey over the net, that guy is sleazy (he too dey toast any babes over the net sha) and that she should kuku eliminate contact from said guy now now.
She come dey do yanga for us whilst that guy started doing yanga for her. In the beginning he used to call her up (yep she was even silly enough to give him her number - smh).When the calls started to cool she began calling him and the funny thing is he hardly answers her calls. I told this girl to stop disturbing the guy that he is probably busy anyway - I mean there is an age gap between them.

She refused to listen again and proceeded to video call him. You see how this guy be, when she agreed to video call that is when he feigned interest in her again. I'm not surprised really because he kept on asking for her pics which she declined and I thank God for that.

Anyhow the way she narrates her own side of the story, she tell me say things don cool off now, that last time she called him he wasn't really interested in anything she was saying and that he was flaunting his exploits with other girls in her face.

I ain't gonna lie, she's my coz and I love her but part of me feel she deserves it for being a little bit silly  embarassed

She tell me say the guy no fine when she saw him but she still dey do shakara for us and I bet the way she was acting I bet she made that guy feel handsome (smh)

This whole circumstance was so strange to me yet I believe it is not uncommon. Why on earth do people become emotionally attached to other people over the internet? What is this trend? Do some people like the neutral perspective the other person could offer (because of their anonymity)?
Well I figured she was shy but she didn't remember her shyness when she was forming for this guy or do people feel a little secure knowing that the other person is in another country so they won't be confronted with that individual daily? is it an adventure to some? is it because of the fantasy and illusion (she wasn't truthful about everything) one can use as a cover? do people like a bit of danger? experimenting perhaps?

Okay I bet anyone can do most of the things I listed above in person so why seek affection over the internet? undecided
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Dyt(f): 10:41am On Jun 18, 2011
Hmmm so very real
sighs
wat can i say cos i happen 2 b a victim of a similar story.
In my own case i hardly lyk ppl,both dose arnd n ova d net
bt one cant say anyth dat can happen
i ll jst crown it all by sayin
sh1t happens
we all learn everyday one way or d oda

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Cuddlemii: 3:16pm On Jun 18, 2011
@emofine,
Hiss. I kept reading your story waiting for the interesting part and something worth discussing and realized the story was not even anything serz. Its not like they had something or the guy used her or exploited her financially so whats the fuzz.

The whole story sound like a nursery rhyme. She is intact now, its just an experience she probably just wanted to explore and came out hale and ok.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 3:26pm On Jun 18, 2011
Cuddlemii:

@emofine,
Hiss. I kept reading your story waiting for the interesting part and something worth discussing and realized the story was not even anything serz. Its not like they had something or the guy used her or exploited her financially so whats the fuzz.

lol please forgive me I had to render the censored version but yes you are right he never exploited her financially perhaps emotionally but I blame her more. I guess she felt like a spare tyre but hopefully now she'll move on, focus on school and not cyber Romeo.

The whole story sound like a nursery rhyme. She is intact now, its just an experience she probably just wanted to explore and came out hale and ok.

Yeah she confessed that she wanted to meet him in his country, well he did send her an invitation to come over - thank God she's broke (well he apparently offered to foot the bill).
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by MurphyG1(m): 3:27pm On Jun 18, 2011
Cuddlemii:

@emofine,
Hiss. I kept reading your story waiting for the interesting part and something worth discussing and realized the story was not even anything serz. Its not like they had something or the guy used her or exploited her financially so whats the fuzz.

The whole story sound like a nursery rhyme. She is intact now, its just an experience she probably just wanted to explore and came out hale and ok.




GBAM!!!!
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Cuddlemii: 3:43pm On Jun 18, 2011
lolz
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by 1010101: 3:50pm On Jun 18, 2011
Buahahahahaha
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by kyensco87(m): 10:02am On Jun 19, 2011
developing emotional attachment ovet the inetrnet is very dangerous o.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 11:54am On Jun 19, 2011
kyensco87:

developing emotional attachment ovet the inetrnet is very dangerous o.

I agree.

Some people cannot differentiate fantasy from reality or sometimes they merge the two. On the internet the line between fact and fiction is very fine and a lot of the times feelings and thoughts can get misinterpreted over the net. Investing emotionally to an anonymous intangible person on the internet is not really healthy nor wise in my opinion.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by tpia5: 12:25pm On Jun 19, 2011
She better thank her stars it didnt progress further (probably because she had no money).

From all indications, the whole thing would have headed nowhere, to her detriment, not the guy's own.

Hope she didnt send him n,aked photos or anything.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 3:01pm On Jun 19, 2011
tpia@:
Hope she didnt send him n,aked photos or anything.

Oh no, she never sent any pics (or so I've been told) but only God knows how she carried herself in their private video chats - that one she no fit tell me sef mschewww (smh)
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by MMM2(m): 2:46am On Jun 20, 2011
i dont know angry
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Goldieluks: 2:50am On Jun 20, 2011
Cause these people are ignorant and childish.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Zahnda(f): 11:30am On Jun 20, 2011
Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet?

Because they're pathetic?  undecided
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by DeepSoul(f): 12:26pm On Jun 20, 2011
Who are we to judge?

Millions of people have met on the internet and gotten married.

To each his own!
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by djcandy(m): 12:32pm On Jun 20, 2011
Obviously these people lack attention in their real lives so they seek love on the web! Aint nothing wrong in that, so long as no one gets swindled or hurt!
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Nayah(f): 12:35pm On Jun 20, 2011
I wouldn't judge because everyone has different stories in his life but as for me I think it's quite difficult falling in love with someone I don't even know or via Net, because you don't really have this ' thing' that makes the difference between the real and virtual and it's sounds a bit artificial to me, anyway we never know where your happiness is
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Nobody: 12:41pm On Jun 20, 2011
Summarize please
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by djcandy(m): 12:44pm On Jun 20, 2011
J12:

Summarize please


Lol lazy girl. Didn;t you ever learn how to skim long posts? That;s what I did and I got the gist of it.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by fd4all234(m): 12:57pm On Jun 20, 2011
@Deep Soul u are righ, who are we to judge them,
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 1:10pm On Jun 20, 2011
J12:

Summarize please


LOL  grin Cute baby

Basically I'm wondering how can someone be pining or be attached emotionally to another person from the web. Some people are charismatic I get that, but to invest emotionally I just don't know. I know there is online dating etc but that is premeditated and as such there is an objective to those sites. However some people actually catch feelings for a person on a random web (that is dissociated from online dating).
How does such occur?
dj candy:

Obviously these people lack attention in their real lives so they seek love on the web! Aint nothing wrong in that, so long as no one gets swindled or hurt!

I agree.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by snthesis(m): 1:31pm On Jun 20, 2011
emofine:

LOL grin Cute baby

Basically I'm wondering how can someone be pining or be attached emotionally to another person from the web. Some people are charismatic I get that, but to invest emotionally I just don't know. I know there is online dating etc but that is premeditated and as such there is an objective to those sites. However some people actually catch feelings for a person on a random web (that is dissociated from online dating).
How does such occur?
I agree.

choi!!! u actually summarized shocked shocked

pls can u write in french too- im having difficulty reading ingleesh grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 1:35pm On Jun 20, 2011
Je suis desole mon francais c'est mal grin
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by tellwisdom: 1:52pm On Jun 20, 2011
Anyway she told me that the guy initiated the conversation and in the beginning she was actually weary (actually she's shy). I and her friend warned her that plenty wayo people dey over the net, that guy is sleazy (he too dey toast any babes over the net sha) and that she should kuku eliminate contact from said guy now now.
She come dey do yanga for us whilst that guy started doing yanga for her. In the beginning he used to call her up (yep she was even mumu enough to give him her number - smh).When the calls started to cool she began calling him and the funny thing is he hardly answers her calls. I told this girl to stop disturbing the guy that he is probably busy anyway - I mean there is an age gap between them.
I ain't gonna lie, she's my coz and I love her but part of me feel she deserves it for being mumu 

[size=13pt]But you sounded more MUMU, judging by your post embarassed No aaffencel[/size]
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by snthesis(m): 1:53pm On Jun 20, 2011
emofine:

Je suis desole mon francais c'est mal grin

Pas de wahalaè mon cher, je comprends grin
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by dastudent(m): 1:54pm On Jun 20, 2011
So i really wasted my time reading this?Back to listening to my lady gaga album.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by Nobody: 2:04pm On Jun 20, 2011
emofine:

LOL  grin Cute baby

Basically I'm wondering how can someone be pining or be attached emotionally to another person from the web. Some people are charismatic I get that, but to invest emotionally I just don't know. I know there is online dating etc but that is premeditated and as such there is an objective to those sites. However some people actually catch feelings for a person on a random web (that is dissociated from online dating).
How does such occur?



Now you're talking. Anyway, I don't know what else to say apart from the fact that were are all different, and your cousin is still young and inexperienced. And the dynamics of attraction is very flexible, elastic and strange too, what's appealing to me, might not be appealing to you. You dont know what attracted her to the guy and you never will. So, don't sweat yourself. Thanks for the summary
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by emofine(f): 2:35pm On Jun 20, 2011
da student:

So i really wasted my time reading this?Back to listening to my lady gaga album.

and you happened to also waste your time posting tongue

tellwisdom:

[size=13pt]But you sounded more MUMU, judging by your post embarassed No aaffencel[/size]

At infrequent times I have a habit of unintentionally sounding mumu-ish, no "aaffencel" taken. However I should have opted for the word silly or naive instead of "mumu" - that was sanctimonious of me embarassed

J12:
Thanks for the summary

no probs and thanks for the in depth response
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by iice(f): 2:56pm On Jun 20, 2011
Probably anonymity or the neutral view.
Maybe also, sometimes if one is lucky. . .you click with someone not close to you.

Anyway. . .can barely attach to people around me, much more over the net.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by kcjazz(m): 3:57pm On Jun 20, 2011
The internet gives anonymity and in a busy world where there are fewer folks to talk to, folks are more inclined to get on web at least one support person is available in 6 billion people.

I was sad when I realized there are suicide chat rooms, where folks bounce ideas and encourage suicide.

I guess the key is to be a friend and encourage others always, don't wait for tomorrow if you can do it today
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by mismarshal(f): 4:09pm On Jun 20, 2011
I don't think it is right to judge.
Re: Why Do People Develop Emotional Attachment Over The Internet? by obowunmi(m): 5:26pm On Jun 20, 2011
I met my girlfriend on facebook.

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