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My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by bugatti02(m): 2:12am On Jan 16, 2022
Bros this lady in question doesn't have anything close to keep a home. I won't say much... Continue with this relationship, Marry her and you'll have issues in life... She's not a wife material by any default. Open your eyes �️� you've seen the red flags already run for the sake of your mental health and sanity. Screenshot my contribution and marry her. You'll live to remember this message.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by DenreleDave(m): 2:34am On Jan 16, 2022
grin
thorpido:
She's a prayer warrior but lives with you and una dey bang abi?

Anyway,you can't dump the relationship because of the weaknesses you enumerated.She won't change(or change little if at all).There are just some things that if you don't imbibe them when growing up,you may never be able to.
Manage her like that.Do the chores you can do and let her do the ones she can.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Nobody: 3:04am On Jan 16, 2022
It will be stressful for her na.You won kill her ni?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Echoban: 3:37am On Jan 16, 2022
acetylcholine:
I hope you won't come here to create a thread on how your wife leaves the home dirty like a thread I came across days ago. Her attitude towards chores may be worse once you guys get married or she gets pregnant.

All her qualities you highlighted are good but not enough. A woman must be homely and a good home maker and cooking, doing dishes and house chores isn't left out. Whatever happened to breakfast like tea & bread, even Noddles? If she can't wash dishes for the both of you, what will happen when you have like two children,and you know kids eat intermittently?

If you feel you can shoulder the responsibility of cooking and doing chores (which shouldn't be your primary duty) even in marriage, good for you, but know it's an abberation!

You better sit her down and talk to her, if you embrace this nonsense attitude all in the name of my mama trained me to do chores, trust me you will get tired of it, especially in marriage!

What Happened to Getting a house help? Her other quality are kinda wifey material to now consider sacking her .
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by xamodans: 3:52am On Jan 16, 2022
Hmm! Well, you have to stop some things at will to call her attention.
I dont know if you guys fornicate, but i'ld advice that you stop that for now, discipline yourself on some things that you have been doing, she will definitely ask questions, answer her thus:

There are many things we have to put in place before getting married so as to enjoy each other well. List to her those things you want her to change and let her also tell you those things she wants from you., Don't get tired. Pls don't manage what you cannot maintain.

Orouvour!!
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Microwhy: 3:59am On Jan 16, 2022
QuizPay:
The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours cheesy), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning. smiley
All you listed is a Must-Have-Quality before considering any woman for marriage or you think any sane man on earth will go into marriage discussion knowing fully well she's unfaithful..
Don't be decieve bro. You will get frustrated if she continues this attitude after marriage and not willing to change. Babies/children makes a lot of dirty at home to the extent that you need to paint some part of your house atleast every 1.5 year if you yourself like cleanliness, talk more of daily dirt they will be making.
Why would a newly wed need house help, that is insane.
If you do not marry her, its most likely someone else will marry her with those red flags, so its upto you to know what you deeping your hands into.
If you agree to sacrifice the rosinesss of your first two years of marriage, then I have this advices for you.
*Before both of you agreed to go ahead with the marriage plan, let her promise you she will change even if you do not set her up immediately as promised. Do it playfully in the presence of one or two of her siblings . (They will be your witness when she start complaining about your change of attitude after the marriage at her home).
*Don't be a simp after the marriage and stand on that change you want.
I repeat, children are dirty and they will make a lot of it. No man need a lazy partner expecially when you can cater for their needs.

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Microwhy: 4:04am On Jan 16, 2022
Revolution2022:
It will be stressful for her na.You won kill her ni?
Kill her with what?
A woman that leave home by 7:30am cannot prepare a meal for one person?
You better know what modern family is all about before making any decisions.

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Divoc19(f): 4:11am On Jan 16, 2022
Of course she will. By herself.
Remember he said she can cook.
Montaque:


It's not a red flag? So who will be cooking for her husband and kids when they marry?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Divoc19(f): 4:13am On Jan 16, 2022
Lol, am married and I have kids.
I cook still but I don't like it smiley
Dshocker:


A wife preparing food for the family is non negotiable,so if you are not the cooking type,how do you intend to get married?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Jamie1000: 4:28am On Jan 16, 2022
If those things aren't a big deal to you, go ahead and marry. Just know that, it will get worst once you're married. That's naturally who she is. And if you're ready to accept the ugly side, then goodluck. Some ladies will also cook and clean, yet annoy you hear and there. Life isn't balance. You don't expect to have it all. But, for me cooking is important at least once or twice a week and put in the freezer. I can do the daily warming. Cleaning, can be done by everyone. Nah shame of dirty house go motivate uu

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by njaykei(m): 4:39am On Jan 16, 2022
For me it's a red flag since her lazy attitudes in cooking and house chores are giving you concern. Trust me, these attitudes are not what you can sweep under the carpet in the name of love, prayerfulness or whatever. These will count for little by the time the pressures of running the home thickness especially when you start having kids.

This does prove that she'll even find it difficult looking after the kids properly because there'll be a whole lot of chores to do with kids in the mix. U better sit her down now and let her know that you really do need her to step up on these things, and if she gives any inclinations that she won't be up to it then it wouldn't be out of place to call it quits. This option is difficult to take given that she has many other positives but, my guy, if a man desires to be eating his meals at home it's a crime for the wife to offer any excuse that'll make that not to be. Look well before u leep, to avoid regrets later in life.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Xantel(f): 4:48am On Jan 16, 2022
Breakfast is easy to prepare. Op tell us what you like taking in the morning. So we know whose fault it is.
Encourage her the more to do things for you

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Slurity(m): 5:03am On Jan 16, 2022
QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too grin ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well undecided. Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours cheesy), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning. smiley

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well grin you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)
what are we going to have if you did not short the story? Red hot flag. Run
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Mom007(f): 5:40am On Jan 16, 2022
Oga, since you both work like men, you both should also do house chores like women. I'm not insulting you o, but the selfishness of men these days is appalling! In the days of our youth when our moms did everything in terms of house chores by themselves. Women didn't work. At most, they had small shop or business. Or did feminine jobs like teaching or clerking where they close by 4pm latest. Now your woman goes to work by 7, meaning she gets up 6am to prepare and comes in 6:30 or 7pm from work and you still want her to cook and clean and do bedmatics for you because someone told you you are the man of the house ba? Oga you sef check it na! If you want to be the 'man' of the house, discontinue her from working and carry all the bills yourself and let her carry all the home chores and taking care of kids herself. And if you men think think its easy, take a leave from work, and tell your wives to go to her parents house for a week while you stay home with the kids. Cooking, cleaning, taking them to school, bringing them home, helping with homework etc then you will know that taking care of the house sef is a full time job now add another full time job to it and see how it feel.
Moral of my long epistle is this, men too, help out around the house if you and your wife both work. It solves a lot of issues and shows you really love and value your wife.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by BigIyanga: 6:13am On Jan 16, 2022
She’ll never change... you can take her the way she’s.... but you have to be willing to do more of house chores when she puts to bed.
Maybe you can tell her to pray less so that she up her hustle to make more money in order to get a house help.. Can she pay for house help?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Nobody: 6:31am On Jan 16, 2022
QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too grin ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well undecided. Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours cheesy), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning. smiley

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well grin you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)



Be ready to have a dirty home while married...I don't just like lazy women aah. The issue of cooking and house chores will still bring a problem in future. Better watch it.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Teleprompter(f): 6:33am On Jan 16, 2022
This is how people make avoidable mistakes when the obvious is right in front of them

She has a habit id praying but trust me that she is no saint to be living with you full time. Worldy days would always catch up with her when convenient.

I am surprised that you said she is your fiance when you are this confused. It would have been better to say that she is your girlfriend and you are hesitant to propose because of her lapses.

She is never going to change most likely. The little chores she is doing is because you are not yet married. Feminists would say that you should do the chores yourself since you know how to do then but they would not support her sharing the bills with you. At the end of the day, you would be getting too little for what you give In the relationship.

Conclusion. She may be a good woman in every other aspect of a relationship but be clear on what you can live with and pick your battles. Nobody has it all. You may meet the disrespectful type that is so good with house chores as part of her way to control and boss the living and non living things around her.

You may find another who is poor at generating income and compensates it with doing house chores. The ladies who are all rounders may just not be available for you and that's how life is.

2 Likes

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by oilmane(m): 6:40am On Jan 16, 2022
QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too grin ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well undecided. Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours cheesy), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning. smiley

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well grin you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)


It is a red flag, it is just the two not you at home and she can't make your meal before leaving for work and she's already demanding for an house help, how can she make meal for your kids before they leave for school when they arrive? She's no going to change, forget that she will change when she quit her job so it is for you to decide if you're going to accept her the way she is or you quit.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Poleski: 6:44am On Jan 16, 2022
She leaves for work at 7 a.m., so what time do you expect her to cook breakfast for you? If you can't prepare at least your breakfast for yourself, then you're a part of the problem.

If she comes back from work at 6 pm, then you could expect her to cook dinner. And you should know that regularly returning home at 10 or 11 pm isn't good either. Make time for her.

My wife always sets the table for me in the morning with tea stuff and leaves for work, while I make my own tea and toast. She loves to cook, but I also cook sometimes when she's busy or tired. I also do house chores when I get the chance. I help her in the kitchen whenever I can (most women find it sexy). So it's about helping at home.

Don't see your fiancee as a housemaid, and she isn't even your wife yet. She has other good qualities you want, so don't let house chores be a barrier. Help her whenever you can. There's no perfect woman or man.

A relationship works well when those involved are true partners.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Oyiboman69: 6:50am On Jan 16, 2022
LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.
mtcheew

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by sadiqabuch: 6:52am On Jan 16, 2022
How many kinds do you intend to have.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by SilvanusII(m): 6:57am On Jan 16, 2022
You are still pandering to societal roles. You LOVE to do house chores, she HATES them. I'm sure there are things you hate to do but find that they need to be done that she loves to do. Isn't that the idea of things being balanced? I only seem to have problems with her refusing to cook and preferring take out. Who fucking does that
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by AdeniyiA(m): 6:58am On Jan 16, 2022
Quizpay I was glad when I read her good attributes you stated.... See ehn, you can never get a perfect spouse, we are all working towards perfection. God has brought you together to complement each other, you'll notice she's weak at your strong areas and vice versa.
You'd probably get another worst mate if you think she isn't meant for you.
One who can cook for Africa but keeps secrets and male friends and eventually gives you Bastards OR a Jezebel.

SUPPORT, FORGIVENESS, TOLERANCE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, these are basic fundamentals of a lasting and peaceful relationship

Quick advice, avoid eating heavy foods at night since you come home late most times
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by lookingfly: 7:21am On Jan 16, 2022
LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.
why ladies no de fear this house help things with all the atrocities they commit, lazy ladies will still recommend house helps. Just yesterday, was chatting with lady on this house chores thing and next thing she said was to get a house help. I told her, i as a man don't Fancy the idea that it's not a crime for the husband to help out once in a while but that doesn't mean she has gotten free Visa to call on him anytime to help her. She said what about washing clothes, and i said we have washing machine nowadays so that's not a problem. For me, I feel this house help of a thing is more of risk than help to me.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Rexology: 7:23am On Jan 16, 2022
@Op, I am sure you have your own weakness she
is tolerating.

To be honest with you brother man, there is no issue here. Go ahead and marry the love of your life.
COOKING?
You can joyfully cook for the family (I do that even when my wife is free and willing to cook)

HOUSE CHORES?
Two of you MUST join hand. Whilst she is washing dishes, you can be washing toilet, mopping the rooms and sitting rooms , you can also wash ALL dirty clothes whilst she is cooking food.
I am married and that's how I do with my wife ,no problem for 6 years now.

Good Luck to you!
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Unrated900(m): 7:48am On Jan 16, 2022
LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.


You see this one too
Una all be d same
Because u be career woman.
That means u won’t do the normal works
Failure is una name.
Don’t worry na una those rice seller they snatch una husband with good food.
@op send that girl out of the Ouse before you come back here to say your fiancée break your head whole complaining.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Unrated900(m): 7:50am On Jan 16, 2022
Rexology:
@Op, I am sure you have your own weakness she
is tolerating.

To be honest with you brother man, there is no issue here. Go ahead and marry the love of your life.
COOKING?
You can joyfully cook for the family (I do that even when my wife is free and willing to cook)

HOUSE CHORES?
Two of you MUST join hand. Whilst she is washing dishes, you can be washing toilet, mopping the rooms and sitting rooms , you can also wash ALL dirty clothes whilst she is cooking food.
I am married and that's how I do with my wife ,no problem for 6 years now.

Good Luck to you!



Ennnnnn a man like you saying this.
Though our wives aren’t slaves but there should be dossss and don’t.
Don’t worry your wife will just wake up one day and tell you to go and wash cloth and would even says honey make sure you wash my undies.
By then you would know there is fire in your roof.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by SpaceAngel: 7:52am On Jan 16, 2022
My young man, if you don't like the signs you are seeing before marriage, just don't go further because you feel the person will change, most times they don't.

If you feel you can live with the person's short comings then go ahead but don't start complaining in future.

The choice is yours.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Kingcalls: 7:56am On Jan 16, 2022
The only thing I will tell u is that when u get married, the person u married will be worse that how she was during the relationship

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by lomprico(m): 7:57am On Jan 16, 2022
QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too grin ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well undecided. Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours cheesy), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning. smiley

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well grin you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

Sebi u guys have agreed she will quit her job n u set her up?

Marry her!

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