megatran:

We share some commoness and you must be an ambivert. Are you based in Lagos?

Not based in Lagos.

brain54:
Truvel pls dont make me laugh....



Hahaha.

No, so e be.

Where all of una dey get strength to keep r/ships for months sef?

MrUchenna1:
WATCH Telemundo THREE TIMES DAILY FOR THREE MONTH.

mad ohh

cybriz82:



I can relate bro..na when she dey with me I dey love her like no tomoro.but d moment he travel out of my sight.i dn forget her b that.if she come back we Continuel where we stop n if she liv again I go forget her again.

This one will call me sometimes and not say anything, then I'll be trying hard to start a conversation, how will you call someone and not say anything?

dauntless15:
If I decide to consider that I'll never find anyone to date because my expectations are high, so far I haven't met my ideal lady.

Then be patient and work on yourself while you wait. In addition, when you meet the right person, your instinct will tell you. It wouldn't be the butterflies you read about but there would be so and great conversations all the time. Also, you will realize you can have no judgment conversation. This doesn't mean each party accepts whatever the other wants all the time however, rejections of thoughts comes with great explanation from a point of view you both will appreciate

MrUchenna1:
WATCH Telemundo THREE TIMES DAILY FOR THREE MONTH.

Lofmao.. How do you guys think about comments like this. You got me laughing man. This divine intervention you just gave the OP would definitely make me loose my mind.

dauntless15:
I'm not good at maintaining long term relationships, majority of my relationships never survived upto a year because I would be so excited at first and give you all the attention until I get bored and run out of things to do with you, then I stop communicating and at the end it'll feel like you're dating yourself and probably end the relationship yourself.

I have been trying to change the norms but it's not working, I recently got into a new relationship and it's happening again, I really like this one but I don't think this would be enough on the long run, so those who have been in long term relationships, how did you keep the spark alive?

I think you are too idle
That may be the problem
Do something with your time
Take your mind off the relationship from time to time
Get busy!

Sometimes what we men what frm a woman is for them to treat us d way our mother do..love us like she do.so we can see d motherly love in them.but when a woman care for herself more she care for u.nah isa no no thing for me.

tammie24:
I think you are too idle
That may be the problem
Do something with your time
Take your mind off the relationship from time to time
Get busy!

Idle? Nigerians never cease to amaze me, okay you're entitled to your crazy assertions.

dauntless15:
On the contrary bro I'm not a boring person, I don't mean to brag but all the girls I've met have this subpar level of intelligence, they don't know alot, so they're not interested in the things I'm interested in, and those who act like they're interested don't really know what I'm talking about so they end up making a fool of themselves, I sometimes act like I'm interested in what they are interested in just to keep the conversation going but at the end it becomes a question and answer session where I ask the question and they answer with monotonous replies and they won't bother asking me back or contributing, besides what will you be discussing with a girl who only knows how to fix nails and makeup? Since I can't find someone as intelligent as I want I lowered my expectations, this is why it seems like I'm a boring person, trust me I'm not, although your first point is kinda true.

you are not as intelligent as you think you are. intelligence also involves being able to compartmentalize people and to meet them where they are. meaning you can get down or rise up to any intelligence level and vibe on that intelligence level. how do you think these billionaires are able to maintain over 10 year relationships with their wives ? you think their wives have anything intelligent to say ? but you have to meet them at their level and learn to enjoy that lower level of intelligence too. THATS CALLED COMPREHENSIVE INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO ADAPT TO ANYONES LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE

Divoc19:
Being in a relationship is a choice not a feeling. So. There's no spark anywhere

Big hugs for this. Most times people do not know what they're saying. They use words because every other person is using it. Spark ko, fireworks ni. Love is a decision and not a feeling.

sukkot:
you are not as intelligent as you think you are. intelligence also involves being able to compartmentalize people and to meet them where they are. meaning you can get down or rise up to any intelligence level and vibe on that intelligence level. how do you think these billionaires are able to maintain over 10 year relationships with their wives ? you think their wives have anything intelligent to say ? but you have to meet them at their level and learn to enjoy that lower level of intelligence too. THATS CALLED COMPREHENSIVE INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO ADAPT TO ANYONES LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE

And who told you I didn't make compromises, I am just tired of compromising, if that makes me dumb so be it.

Bring three things into play and the spark will be lit.

1 - Tears
3- laughter
4- Orgasmic moan and groan.

Play with her emotions, let her feel all three emotions.

To achieve number one; you have to be a bad boy and a flirt.

To achieve number two; you have to be a clown, witty, and intelligent.

To achieve number three; Get fit, Do not be less approachable, watch the beginning of random porn but NOT the ending, learn to talk dirty during the act, Take her in other rooms NOT only in the bedroom. Dominate her (if possible, break her self esteem in the bedroom and in the bedroom only) out side of the bedtroom, respect her and you would get her addicted to you even if she marries another man.

To learn more dark ways to possess a woman completely ... then (my phone battery dead)

dauntless15:
Not based in Lagos.

Ahah.. I knew it. It seems lagos and Abuja is where the smart ones reside. To find smart hard brother. I am an introvert and I can bet you that it's a pain in the ass to get a sane conversation with a lady these days.

Please do explain something. I see you guys being in a relationship for two weeks, two months etc. I have not dated in donkey years because I always thought dating means road to marriage. It seems I have not been in Nigeria. How does this work. I rarely ask for relationships I literally fear it.

dauntless15:
This one will call me sometimes and not say anything, then I'll be trying hard to start a conversation, how will you call someone and not say anything?

I feel u bro.and they always claim to be right all the time..n most of them are aggresive they cnt evn keep a long conversation d next u hear Is baby I wil cal u back or am feeling sleepy.they wudnt even ask about ur day n stuff.those are d kind of people that will keep advising u to get a business of ur own.cus they want to become a full time housewife.and they cnt never be happy with u if ur salary ain't up to 100k

dauntless15:
I'm not good at maintaining long term relationships, majority of my relationships never survived upto a year because I would be so excited at first and give you all the attention until I get bored and run out of things to do with you, then I stop communicating and at the end it'll feel like you're dating yourself and probably end the relationship yourself.

I have been trying to change the norms but it's not working, I recently got into a new relationship and it's happening again, I really like this one but I don't think this would be enough on the long run, so those who have been in long term relationships, how did you keep the spark alive?

I have been in a relationship a year and six month now
Never had sex with her but sometimes we cuddle when she visit me

To be frank sometimes I get a bored and tired of the relationship atimes and feel like I should explore else where
Each time I develop this feeling I always try to think about the Good side of her ignoring her flaws.

I use to share her some articles(nairaland and other platform) that could make our relationship stronger and recommend some movies too
Sometimes I send her some nice dress pic,nice hair pic that could fit her and tell her to always try to look classic for me.

I discovered that I get really pissed off with her and everybody around me mostly when I'm broke so I always let her know when I'm broke so she knows when to avoid unnecessary play or some sort of stupid conversation which I won't found interesting at that moment.

Honestly she doesn't like me in that kinda situation and she wouldn't like to avoid me so sometimes she help me out of the situation.

Have it on your mindset that she would be your future wife and not just your gf
Have a Good and reasonable Communicate with her often(Plan for her future)
Give her some ideas tell her to work on it
Ask her for result
Share with her some opportunities.
Share with her stories about relationships and ask for her view
Trust me you're building her and yourself to be a Good Partner

Let her know she should also be a lively Partner.
Above all Make God your 3rd Party

GboyegaD:


Then be patient and work on yourself while you wait. In addition, when you meet the right person, your instinct will tell you. It wouldn't be the butterflies you read about but there would be so and great conversations all the time. Also, you will realize you can have no judgment conversation. This doesn't mean each party accepts whatever the other wants all the time however, rejections of thoughts comes with great explanation from a point of view you both will appreciate

Your comments are the most meaningful I have seen so far.

You Dont run 4x4 relay the same way you run 1x1 Relay
You don't run 100M the same way you run 3000M

Start slow and calm, nor dey rush.
Dont just rush out of tha Blocks Like oxlade in his Bleep tape gragragra.

you can doke a girl when she's emotional. it's not because you're a good conversationalist. she was replying to your flirtatious chats because she was in the middle of a relationship crisis. some people have even bleeped some women at funeral events. once she starts crying, she can be bleeped.

Truvelisback:
U consciously or unconsciously made it answer and question. I once chatted a Deeper life girl on fb. We chatted from like 10 pm to 2 am. The chat became intense that we started chatting naught. I know u will be surprised that a Deeper life girl would go on a chat with me to point of chatting naughty. I initiated the chat. I was fully in control. If a SIMP had chatted with her, she wouldn't have gone naughty with the guy. Note: This lady had just broke up with her guy. According to her, the guy wanted to have sex with her, against her will. That was what led to their break up. If only the guy knew how women's are like, he would have gotten the sex freely. While she was chatting with me, she was even crying.

dauntless15:
Idle? Nigerians never cease to amaze me, okay you're entitled to your crazy assertions.

sorry for using that word
Maybe you should just take your mind off the relationship and concentrate on other things. You've got to have hobbies

dauntless15:
And who told you I didn't make compromises, I am just tired of compromising, if that makes me dumb so be it.

brother this life is all about compromises. if you are tired of compromising its time to exit the stage. in the great beyond in the sky you may not need to compromise but down here its all about compromising. all your relationships you give a little to make it work. that includes relationships with mother father siblings landlord boss spouse etc etc. if you are tired of compromising i would suggest you exit the stage.

SmartPlug:


I have been in a relationship a year and six month now
Never had sex with her but sometimes we cuddle when she visit me

To be frank sometimes I get a bored and tired of the relationship atimes and feel like I should explore else where
Each time I develop this feeling I always try to think about the Good side of her ignoring her flaws.

I use to share her some articles(nairaland and other platform) that could make our relationship stronger and recommend some movies too
Sometimes I send her some nice dress pic,nice hair pic that could fit her and tell her to always try to look classic for me.

I discovered that I get really pissed off with her and everybody around me mostly when I'm broke so I always let her know when I'm broke so she knows when to avoid unnecessary play or some sort of stupid conversation which I won't found interesting at that moment.

Honestly she doesn't like me in that kinda situation and she wouldn't like to avoid me so sometimes she help me out of the situation.

Have it on your mindset that she would be your future wife and not just your gf
Have a Good and reasonable Communicate with her often(Plan for her future)
Give her some ideas tell her to work on it
Ask her for result
Share with her some opportunities.
Share with her stories about relationships and ask for her view
Trust me you're building her and yourself to be a Good Partner

Let her know she should also be a lively Partner.
Above all Make God your 3rd Party

I have tried all this and more, and she even accused me of trying to change her and I wouldn't change for her, so I stopped, influencing someone positively sounds like manipulation from her perspective, the sudden loss of interest has alot to do with who she is and what I expect of her.

sukkot:
brother this life is all about compromises. if you are tired of compromising its time to exit the stage. in the great beyond in the sky you may not need to compromise but down here its all about compromising. all your relationships you give a little to make it work. that includes relationships with mother father siblings landlord boss spouse etc etc. if you are tired of compromising i would suggest you exit the stage.

Exit asin stay single forever? Please elucidate.

tammie24:
sorry for using that word
Maybe you should just take your mind off the relationship and concentrate on other things. You've got to have hobbies

Apology accepted, I do have hobbies, too many hobbies, I sometimes get so engrossed in work that I can't even afford to pick her calls, then she starts accusing me of neglecting her, and when I make time for her she doesn't like the things I like, and trying to make her like them she'd accuse me of trying to change her, so it feels more like a prison than a relationship, and I just wonder why I even wanted it in the first place.

dauntless15:
Exit asin stay single forever? Please elucidate.

become a hermit. live alone. no interactions

cybriz82:




I feel u bro.and they always claim to be right all the time..n most of them are aggresive they cnt evn keep a long conversation d next u hear Is baby I wil cal u back or am feeling sleepy.they wudnt even ask about ur day n stuff.

Yea, exactly, I even tried forcing things, it's just not working out.

dauntless15:
I'm not good at maintaining long term relationships, majority of my relationships never survived upto a year because I would be so excited at first and give you all the attention until I get bored and run out of things to do with you, then I stop communicating and at the end it'll feel like you're dating yourself and probably end the relationship yourself.

I have been trying to change the norms but it's not working, I recently got into a new relationship and it's happening again, I really like this one but I don't think this would be enough on the long run, so those who have been in long term relationships, how did you keep the spark alive?

My brother keep d spark alive in d lord

dauntless15:
I have tried all this and more, and she even accused me of trying to change her and I wouldn't change for her, so I stopped, influencing someone positively sounds like manipulation from her perspective, the sudden loss of interest has alot to do with who she is and what I expect of her.

You're probably not compatible
A lady who really love you will try as much as possible to please you and respect your view especially when it's about how to make your relationship stronger

Some Ladies cherish relationship like an Egg
While some see their partner as a second citizen or Choice

My baby doesn't want to loose me so she try to please me most time and I also do thesame
Even though she wouldn't accept all my idea but most
The one she wouldn't do she would explain to me in a calm way why she is refusing with a Good reason
Note I'm not a Dictator to her but I always try to let her know or give ideas what could make our relationship stronger.

dauntless15:
Your comments are the most meaningful I have seen so far.

Thanks. Glad you find it meaningful. I wish you the very best.

agbonkamen:
You need serious deliverance from spiritual wife

It doesn't call for deliverance.
Most people think love will just carry you through. No! Relationship calls for conscious effort at keeping it alive. You need to be making conscious effort and think of what to do everyday to spice up the relationship.

Cold fact is that love decreases as relationships age. Those old couples you see have stopped feeling butterflies and knots in their stomachs. Those feelings died along time ago. What they have now is a solid feeling of companionship and togetherness.
They have grown to become fond of each other.
Op, I'm like you too but you just have to keep trying to make a conscious effort to keep spicing up your partner's life if truly she is a good gal
@smartplug.
Learn to manage the situation. Almost everyman feels angry and worthless when broke. When I was in school, my girlfriend then tends to avoid me and sometimes even give me all her money except her transport fare just to pacify me.

Now the question is, what if you get married. Will you tell your wife to avoid you too? Or your kids?

Learn to manage the feeling