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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Wrong ??? (2189 Views)
was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? / I Told My Wife Not To Kiss My 6-Month-Old Son On The Mouth: Am I Wrong? / A Friend Wants Me To Lend Him Money. I Told Him To Fill A Form. Am I Wrong? (2) (3) (4)
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Richy4(m): 2:37pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: Wow!!! If she was an Australian, she will be swimming in an Ocean of Money by now.... all she need to do is raise her foot on a couch and watch money coming into her account from the baby daddies left, right and center until they clock 18... unfortunately, she(the baby mama) was born in a wrong country ![]() I just have to thank you and your elder sister for making the little girl have a sense of belonging...It's very sweet of you ladies... thanks... as for your brother I have no words for him |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by GboyegaD(m): 2:43pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: Stop blaming the wife. He's the one not wanting to be involved with her for reasons best known to him. He should man up and remember every child just like the ones he has with his wife deserved to have both parents in their life. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 2:43pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards:So, how then did you arrive at the conclusion that your brother's wife is to blame for your brother not keeping his side of the agreement that was reached? Did anyone even bother to ask her if she has anything to do with her husband refusing to honor the agreement made? ![]() And what about the baby mama? She get DNA document showing your brother is the child's father, so what has she done to ensure your brother pay up? Or what has she been waiting for? Approval from your brother's wife? ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:46pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Mariangeles: Lol forget about my parents they are afraid of her too , can you imagine on Christmas we were at my sister's place and I snapped a picture of my niece and parents together. My dad has scolded me not to post it on social media cos my sis in law would not be happy. And when I told him she blocked me cos I posted my niece's picture on WhatsApp, he was angry and told me to remove it and I should call my brother to pass the phone to his wife so I can apologise. We children have stand up for our niece but our parents are afraid. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 2:48pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards:Learned what lesson? Your brother is the one who left his wife at home to chase after a baby mama with 2 children already under her belt. She might even have plans to have more from other men.... that's beside the point but the reality is thanks to your brother's behavior, you are all now linked in some way to the babymama and her life. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 2:48pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Richy4: Lols unfortunately she is in nigeria no kobo for her , thank you so much we are trying our best and we will never give up on her. |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 2:53pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards:I am not convinced what you describe is fear. The more I read your comments, the more I am instead convinced that your folks feel compassion towards your sister-in-law's position. ![]() Your parents have daughters of their own and are able to imagine how having something like that happen to their own flesh and blood would devastate them. ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Mariangeles(f): 3:07pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Have you even considered the child in all of these? Does she not matter? Even if her father does not want her, at least her grandparents should. Should they also be stopped from loving and wanting her? Na wah o! You're not being fair. 4 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by 1F30M4(f): 3:22pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
The truth is that your sister in-law cannot and maybe would never get over the fact that her husband(your brother) didn't just lay with another but impregnated her as well. She may have forgiven her husband but she really doesn't want to have anything to do with his child(the product of his infidelity), it's what she wants and her husband has no issue abiding by it, lemme guess he's trying to make peace after cheating on her, unfortunately he'll have to do that for the rest of his life. However, it's not in her place to say your family shouldn't be in the child's life. She's just really scared, that I know for sure. As the legally married wife, she doesn't want her children to be seen/treated as anything other than the legitimate offsprings of her husband. She wants y'all(her in-laws) to be on her side by refusing to relate with the other woman's child, that self-satisfaction that her in-laws only recognizes her & her children as theirs. I wish to commend the courage of your elder sister, she's right after all. To you and your brother, bless your souls for giving the little girl a birthday treat. Just like everyone, she deserves to be happy, she didn't ask to be caught up in this web. I really don't want to believe your sister in-law will cut all her in-laws off like that, that's like going overboard but if she does, then so be it, just leave her be. As for your brother, y'all don't be surprised when he starts giving off odd vibes. It will be tough ngl. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Acidosis(m): 3:27pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Your sister-in-law may have forgiven her husband but not the side chick and the family that raised, nurtured, and allowed him to be irresponsible. You have no right to condemn her. Forgiveness is not forgetfulness. Moreover, she needs everything to forget the incidence, and that includes taking the child faraway from her until she's ready and willing to accommodate her. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 3:32pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
1F30M4: However, it's not in her place to say your family shouldn't be in the child's life. Thank you have answered my question it is not her place . 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 3:37pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Acidosis: Nobody want her to accommodate the child that but my point is why doesn't she want us to have a relationship with our niece . We were in good terms no problem at all but after I posted her pics she blocked me , it is not fair na 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Acidosis(m): 3:40pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: Blocking you was an extreme measure. An alternative to the fake love you would have gotten from other women in her shoes. Clearly, she's not so good at handling her emotions but what we call emotional intelligence sometimes is plainly witchcraft. An emotionally intelligent person would rather drop a smiley emoji on that picture and look for a better time to deal with you. 3 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 3:41pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Mariangeles:As far as the story told by the OP, it seems the child is with the mother and that, as far as I am concerned is the best place for her to be. There is no indication that the child is in danger or that it is in dire need of acceptance from this family. ![]() Grandparents are not superhumans. They are flesh and blood just like us and need time to process situations snd also accept what is before them. So I can understand there reservations at this time but hope they will open up to become more accepting of the child over time. ![]() Fairness, right and wrong have nothing to do with this issue. This is a case of a family trying to move forward from a blow and people reacting as they know best to. Blaming the sister-in-law is what is out of place though. ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 3:43pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards:She didn't stop you from having a relationship with the child though. All she can do is block you . So why do interprete that to mean she doesn't want you to have a relationship with the child? ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Acidosis(m): 3:47pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: OP and her brother went to the side chick's house? |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 3:51pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Yes she does because she did the same thing to my elder sister before they were 5 and 6 and she has stopped talking to her after she started having a relationship with niece. She went to make her hair at my sister place and when she saw my niece was there her mood has changed after she left she started ignoring her calls and text messages until she blocked her. She is bee ignoring her on the school run too. Now she blocked me and my brother will be next if he dare to post her pics too. It is not about her it's about the innocent child here ,we will never abandon our blood whether she like or not. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 4:10pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Acidosis:Sorry? ![]() |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Foodqueen(f): 4:10pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: Then, let her do whatever she wants with her phone. And u too upload whoever u want to upload with your phone. She isn't violating anybody's right. Let her be... 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 4:17pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Foodqueen: OK as long as she is not the giver of my life or my niece's life , I will let her be then 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Mariangeles(f): 4:33pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Since her aunts and probably her uncles want to be involved in her life nko? Grandparents are not superhumans. They are flesh and blood just like us and need time to process situations snd also accept what is before them. So I can understand there reservations at this time but hope they will open up to become more accepting of the child over time. So, four years is not enough time abi? Meanwhile, little girl is growing up real quick and wondering why she's different from other kids, when she has a whole family out there, including grandma and grandpa... Keep making excuses Kobo! Fairness, right and wrong have nothing to do with this issue. This is a case of a family trying to move forward from a blow and people reacting as they know best to. Blaming the sister-in-law is what is out of place though. How will they move forward if they refuse to come to terms with what has happened? The ones that are trying, their efforts are being discouraged. You know, the longer it takes for them to come to terms with what has happened, the less likely they will, the more it'll affect the child as she grows. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 4:33pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards:Before who were 5 and 6 please? ![]() You make it seem as though you sister-in-law is busy blocking channels of communication between you and your niece which is not what she's done. If she blocks you, is there really an evil done you in that? ![]() |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Mariangeles(f): 4:41pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: If she doesn't want anything to do with the child, it is understandable. But cutting you and your sister off because you simply care for the child, now that is wickedness. She wants the child to suffer. You and your sister are better off without her. Or did you and your sister make friends with your niece's mother? 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 4:55pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Mariangeles: No we are not friend ooo I have never spoke with her on phone before but my sister does speak with her only when it's necessary like if she want to speak to the child or when she send them money or when she want the child to come over to her place. It is her half brother who brings her anytime she visit my sister. |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Kobojunkie: 5:03pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Mariangeles:All I have and react to are the bits and pieces of information we have been fed about the grand parents so I am not the best to do a deep dive into their why in this. ![]() I do know from experience that people tend to take these things at different pace and individuals end up deciding when they are ready. ![]() There are still many people out there who don't take lightly the issue of adultery and on top of that a child from it. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Twenty8: 5:28pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
In a case their roles were reversed and ur brother's wife cheated on him and had a child outside their marriage, would your brother have still kept the marriage going? The woman is having hard to coming to terms with ur brother's actions, so don't blame her she's still just finding it hard. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 5:33pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Twenty8: She had the choice to leave or remain even the bible allow divorce if adultery is committed and she choose to remain with him. Hard to come to term after 4 yeats but she still popping more kids it doesn't even make sense. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Acidosis(m): 5:42pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: Don't you all think that you're doing too much? "Your blood" "our blood", etc. yet the owner of the blood doesn't care. From all indications, the girl isn't suffering. She's in the care of her mom and her mom's family. If your brother goes on to get more side chicks' pregnant, what are you going to do? 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 5:55pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Acidosis: No we are not doing too much we are doing the right thing for her we are showing her love and care so she will not feel left out. Being with her mother doesn't mean she have everything or her mother is doing well , she is not working and she has three children. We don't want our blood to suffer for her parents mistakes and my sister is buoyant to support her. If he get another side chick pregnant then he will be on his own. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Richy4(m): 5:59pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Twenty8: Did we read the same thing or is our brains wired differently from different Electricians? we are talking about a child... a 3yr old Innocent child...That an irresponsible sperm donor abandoned.. If she can forgive the randy man, why is she finding it difficult to tolerate anyone that looked the way of an innocent child, that did not asked to be in such situation in the first place... Any one that disliked an innocent child that did nothing to them is a witch/ wizard in my own book...And that sister inlaw should double check if she was one... she liked her own children but would not take an eye to see another child being pampered the way kids should (not that the husband was the one doing it in the first place)....Is that not witchcraft? All her grievances should be on the husband who defiled their marital vow... And based on your question, she has the right to file for a divorce on grounds of infidelity... but since she wasn't doing that, she should learn to breathe before she get choked for lack of air 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Acidosis(m): 6:04pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ciscodollards: It's clear you're a good person but your sister-in-law might misconstrue the intentions of your family. She probably feels that you guys didn't do enough to caution your brother. With all this, one might assume that y'all condoned his behaviour 3-4 years doesn't seem like a long time. That's just a year before Covid19. You all should give her time to process everything. About popping more babies, you can't blame her. She didn't get herself pregnant. Trying to sound like she's all at fault is why I assumed you guys are either making excuses for your brother or condoling certain behaviour. Ideally, your elder sister cannot assume the role of the girl's father. The best she can do is talk to your brother to take up his responsibility. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong ??? by Ciscodollards(f): 6:28pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Acidosis: Don't misunderstand me about popping babies I have no problem with that cos children are blessing but all I was trynna say is if she has forgiven the cheater to the extend of adding Two more kids in less than two years with c section and why is she finding hard to acknowledge the child and allow us to have a relationship with her without her blocking us. Don't you think she should transfer her aggression to her husband who broke the vow he made to her and not us. Anyway I think I should do the same thing as my sister did is to ignore and focus on other things. My brother and sis are not in good terms cos of this same issue 2 Likes |
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