Ciscodollards:


Yes nothing from him but I hope she has also learned her lesson because she has already had 2 children before my niece but she didn't learn and choose to date a married man so she is also to blame but as long the child is innocent she doesn't deserve to suffer for his parents mistakes.

Wow!!! If she was an Australian, she will be swimming in an Ocean of Money by now.... all she need to do is raise her foot on a couch and watch money coming into her account from the baby daddies left, right and center until they clock 18... unfortunately, she(the baby mama) was born in a wrong country ...

I just have to thank you and your elder sister for making the little girl have a sense of belonging...It's very sweet of you ladies... thanks... as for your brother I have no words for him

Ciscodollards:


Dna was done when the child was 7 months he is the father but his wife doesn't want him to be involve with his child but I blame him for listening to her. He is old enough to man up and take care of the child

Ciscodollards:
No I don't blame her for his cheating because he is old enough, he choose to break the vow he have made to his wife but I blame her for not allowing him to be in his child life. Back in 2018 when the baby was 3 months we had a family meetings and their pastor was also there so they have an agreement he will be sending upkeep money every month which he have never done. Later on he told my sister that his wife doesnt want him to have a relationship with the child but my sister told him he should no matter what. So far for 4 years he hasn't done anything for the child and if it is not for my sister who is sending money whenever she can. So yes he is doing so to protect his marriage and I don't know why she hasn't been to court yet and I can't answer for her
I only answered based on what I know about.

Mariangeles:


What about your parents? Especially your dad?
What's their stance in all these?
I know no responsible father will be alive and allow his son act irresponsibly.

Ciscodollards:
Yes nothing from him but I hope she has also learned her lesson because she has already had 2 children before my niece but she didn't learn and choose to date a married man so she is also to blame but as long the child is innocent she doesn't deserve to suffer for his parents mistakes.

Richy4:


Wow!!! If she was an Australian, she will be swimming in an Ocean of Money by now.... all she need to do is raise her foot on a couch and watch money coming into her account from the baby daddies left, right and center until they clock 18... unfortunately, she(the baby mama) was born in a wrong country ...

I just have to thank you and your elder sister for making the little girl have a sense of belonging...It's very sweet of you ladies... thanks... as for your brother I have no words for him

Ciscodollards:
Lol forget about my parents they are afraid of her too , can you imagine on Christmas we were at my sister's place and I snapped a picture of my niece and parents together. My dad has scolded me not to post it on social media cos my sis in law would not be happy.

And when I told him she blocked me cos I posted my sister picture on WhatsApp, he was angry and told me to remove it and I should call my brother to pass the phone to his wife so I can apologise. We children have stand up for our niece but our parents are afraid.

Kobojunkie:
I am not convinced what you describe is fear.
The more I read your comments, the more I am instead convinced that your folks feel compassion instead towards your sister-in-law.

Your parents have daughters of their own and are able to imagine how having something like that happen to their own flesh and blood would devastate them.

1F30M4:
The truth is that your sister in-law cannot and maybe would never get over the fact that her husband(your brother) didn't just lay with another but impregnated her as well. She may have forgiven her husband but she really doesn't want to have anything to do with his child(the product of his infidelity), it's what she wants and her husband has no issue abiding by it, lemme guess he's trying to make peace after cheating on her, unfortunately he'll have to do that for the rest of his life.

However, it's not in her place to say your family shouldn't be in the child's life. She's just really scared, that I know for sure. As the legally married wife, she doesn't want her children to be seen/treated as anything other than the legitimate offsprings of her husband. She wants y'all(her in-laws) to be on her side by refusing to relate with the other woman's child, that self-satisfaction that her in-laws only recognizes her & her children as theirs.

I wish to commend the courage of your elder sister, she's right after all. To you and your brother, bless your souls for giving the little girl a birthday treat. Just like everyone, she deserves to be happy, she didn't ask to be caught up in this web. I really don't want to believe your sister in-law will cut all her in-laws off like that, that's like going overboard but if she does, then so be it, just leave her be. As for your brother, y'all don't be surprised when he starts giving off odd vibes. It will be tough ngl.

Acidosis:
Your sister-in-law may have forgiven her husband but not the side chick and the family that raised, nurtured, and allowed him to be irresponsible.

You have no right to condemn her. Forgiveness is not forgetfulness. Moreover, she needs everything to forget the incidence, and that includes taking the child faraway from her until she's ready and willing to accommodate her.

Ciscodollards:



Nobody want her to accommodate the child that but my point is why doesn't she want us to have a relationship with our niece . We were in good terms no problem at all but after I posted her pics she blocked me , it is not fair na

Mariangeles:
Have you even considered the child in all of these?
Does she not matter?
Even if her father does not want her, at least her grandparents should. Should they also be stopped from loving and wanting her? Na wah o!

You're not being fair.

Ciscodollards:
Nobody want her to accommodate the child that but my point is why doesn't she want us to have a relationship with our niece . We were in good terms no problem at all but after I posted her pics she blocked me , it is not fair na

Kobojunkie:
As far as the story told by the OP, it seems the child is with the mother and that, as far as I am concerned is the best place for her to be. There is no indication that the child is in danger or that it is in dire need of acceptance from this family.

Kobojunkie:
She didn't stop you from having a relationship with the child though. All she can do is block you . So why do interprete that to mean she doesn't want you to have a relationship with the child?

Acidosis:
OP and her brother went to the side chick's house?

Ciscodollards:


Yes she does because she did the same thing to my elder sister before they were 5 and 6 and she has stopped talking to her after she started having a relationship with niece. She went to make her hair at my sister place and when she saw my niece was there her mood has changed after she left she started ignoring her calls and text messages until she blocked her. She is bee
ignoring her on the school run too. Now she blocked me and my brother will be next if he dare to post her pics too. It is not about her it's about the innocent child here ,we will never abandon our blood whether she like or not.

Foodqueen:


Then, let her do whatever she wants with her phone. And u too upload whoever u want to upload with your phone.

She isn't violating anybody's right.
Let her be...

Kobojunkie:
As far as the story told by the OP, it seems the child is with the mother and that, as far as I am concerned is the best place for her to be. There is no indication that the child is in danger or that it is in dire need of acceptance from this family.

Grandparents are not superhumans. They are flesh and blood just like us and need time to process situations snd also accept what is before them. So I can understand there reservations at this time but hope they will open up to become more accepting of the child over time.

Fairness, right and wrong have nothing to do with this issue. This is a case of a family trying to move forward from a blow and people reacting as they know best to. Blaming the sister-in-law is what is out of place though.

Ciscodollards:
Yes she does because she did the same thing to my elder sister before they were 5 and 6 and she has stopped talking to her after she started having a relationship with niece . She went to make her hair at my sister place and when she saw my niece was there her mood has changed after she left she started ignoring her calls and text messages until she blocked her. She is bee
ignoring her on the school run too. Now she blocked me and my brother will be next if he dare to post her pics too. It is not about her it's about the innocent child here ,we will never abandon our blood whether she like or not.

Ciscodollards:


OK as long as she is not the giver of my life or my niece's life , I will let her be then

Mariangeles:


If she doesn't want anything to do with the child, it is understandable.
But cutting you and your sister off because you simply care for the child, now that is wickedness. She wants the child to suffer.
You and your sister are better off without her.

Or did you and your sister make friends with your niece's mother?

Mariangeles:
Since her aunts and probably her uncles want to be involved her later life nko?
So, four years is not enough time abi?
Meanwhile, little girl is growing up real quick and wondering why she's different from other kids, when she has a whole family out there, including grandma and grandpa...
Keep making excuses Kobo!
How will they move forward if they refuse to come to terms with what has happened?
The ones that are trying, their efforts are being discouraged.

You know, the longer it takes for them to come to terms with what has happened, the less likely they will, the more it'll affect the child as she grows.

Twenty8:
In a case their roles were reversed and ur brother's wife cheated on him and had a child outside their marriage, would your brother have still kept the marriage going? The woman is having hard to coming to terms with ur brother's actions, so don't blame her she's still just finding it hard.

Ciscodollards:


No we are not friend ooo I have never spoke with her on phone before but my sister does speak with her only when it's necessary like if she want to speak to the child or when she send them money or when she want the child to come over to her place. It is her half brother who brings her anytime she visit my sister.

Acidosis:


Don't you all think that you're doing too much? "Your blood" "our blood", etc. yet the owner of the blood doesn't care. From all indications, the girl isn't suffering. She's in the care of her mom and her mom's family.

If your brother goes on to get more side chicks' pregnant, what are you going to do?

Twenty8:
In a case their roles were reversed and ur brother's wife cheated on him and had a child outside their marriage, would your brother have still kept the marriage going? The woman is having hard to coming to terms with ur brother's actions, so don't blame her she's still just finding it hard.

Ciscodollards:


No we are not doing too much we are doing the right thing for her we are showing her love and care so she will not feel left out. Being with her mother doesn't mean she have everything or her mother is doing well , she is not working and she has three children. We don't want our blood to suffer for her parents mistakes and my sister is buoyant to support her. If he get another side chick pregnant then he will be on his own.

Acidosis:


It's clear you're a good person but your sister-in-law might misconstrue the intentions of your family. She probably feels that you guys didn't do enough to caution your brother. With all this, one might assume that y'all condoned his behaviour

3-4 years doesn't seem like a long time. That's just a year before Covid19. You all should give her time to process everything.

About popping more babies, you can't blame her. She didn't get herself pregnant. Trying to sound like she's all at fault is why I assumed you guys are either making excuses for your brother or condoling certain behaviour.

Ideally, your elder sister cannot assume the role of the girl's father. The best she can do is talk to your brother to take up his responsibility.