How do you know if you love someone? How can you tell if you feel true love or sensual lust? How do you decide if the love you feel is enduring love or merely a temporary infatuation?

All of the following emotional reactions, sensations and thought processes can be signs of deep love. but they can also appear when we feel desire, passion and temporary lust for someone new who appears exciting. Feelings can peak and we can be blinded from the truth. Feelings can peak and we can develop lasting intimacy. These are some of the signs that signify you are in a state of limerance, but these states do not necessarily indicate love.

- You can't stand being away from the other person.
- You think about him or her all the time.
- Their flaws seems cute to me.
- This person seems to give your life meaning.
- You feel like the luckiest person in the world.
- You want to please and be a better person.
- Your self-doubt and insecurities disappear in their presence.
- You get an amazing feeling when they touch you.
- You get warm and tingly feelings when you look in their eyes.
- You are willing to do anything for this person.
- When apart, it is not "out of sight, out of mind," but absence makes you desire this person more.

Emotional highs, intense need, longing, obsession and warm fuzzy feelings can indicate infatuation just as easily as the stirrings and beginnings of enduring love. However, there is a surefire way to determine which is which.

The first step is to focus on what you really want in a long term relationship with a lifelong partner. Don't just keep these thoughts in your head. Write them down. Don't only list the qualities you would like in the other person but make sure to add how you want and expect to feel when you spend time together. For example, if you want a man who is handsome and rich, make sure to add that he doesn't make you continually doubt your own attractiveness and that he will generously share his riches. If you want a woman who is beautiful and sexy, make sure to add that she does not enjoy flaunting her beauty and flirting with other men and that she finds you attractive and appealing as well.

Next, make sure you do not jump to conclusions in the first few weeks or months of a hot and heavy relationship. Those intense hormonal flushes can mask all sorts of red flags and signs that this is not your potential soul mate.

Pay attention to your own feelings. What is going on in your body? Do you feel strange tightness or neck pain or low back pain that you did not have before getting close to this other person? How do you feel emotionally? Do you feel loved and accepted and appreciated or denigrated, ignored and neglected?

Observe the communication between the two of you. Do you say what you truly think and feel or does it somehow get distorted? Does this person share openly with you or put up a wall of silence or indifference? Are there sudden bursts of unexpected anger or nasty insults that are much harsher than the situation calls for?

Ask yourself if you truly see and accept this person as he or she is, the whole person, with all the good points and undesirable traits. Decide if this is a person you would enjoy spending every day with for the rest of your life. Think about how you might feel if this other person became ill and you had to suddenly become a full time caretaker. Think about how this person might treat you if you were to become ill or disabled.

Ask yourself if you would really do almost anything for this person and whether you believe that he or she would do almost anything for you. Decide if investing your time and energy, money and love in this person is really worthwhile. What do you believe will be your ROLI - Return on Love Investment?