Mankind has been in existence for millions of years. A lot of inventions have come and gone and humans still has the same operating system. If technology can be updated, so should mankind.

The creator needs to update us with the following things ASAP.

1. Babies need a new means of communication
Crying is outdated. It’s high time babies came with a better communication medium that won’t involve crying all the time, unprovoked. Who exactly is profiting from the tears of babies? Nobody. Fix it, please.

2. Nigerian women need to know when Yoruba men are about to lie to them
The feminine instinct that came with the female operating system doesn’t work when Yoruba men are involved and that needs to be taken care of. Women need an alarm system that’d go off when a Yoruba man is about to start lying for no goddamn reason. Make the alarm as loud and jarring as the iPhone alarm.

3. Humans need to learn how to fly
It’s the year 2022 and cars can drive themselves, but humans can’t fly? Even the few humans who can fly also need an update. Lagosians perish for lack of special abilities. We’re actually desperately begging this time, give us wings. Take risks and succeed.

4. The ability to fall in love without a talking stage
This one is actually important. All the talking stage does is waste time and there’s absolutely no need for it. Let’s look into each other’s eyes and decide whether or not we’re going to be in love with each other forever.

5. The ability to look into the future
As a people, we’re currently living on vibes. We’re doing our best but the rest is unprecedented bullshit and that’s not good. It’s also not sustainable. We need to be able to see into the future to know whether or not we’re wasting our time. Shey you get?

6. We want to be born rich
We need to abolish working for money, we need to start being born rich. Let everyone come to this life already rich. The idea of spending important hours of life working for money is so weird. We also need money trees to start growing around us.

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