The most difficult people to advise are those who are high on their ambitions.

A school leaver who strongly desires to gain admission into an higher institution will not understand how over-rated higher education is. I have met graduates that are less employable than some high school leavers. I once told a young man who just gained admission for an engineering course that by the time he was done with university, he would understand how insignificant grades are in the real world. He couldn't fathom that statement at that time. When he was done, he could not stop asking himself the essence of higher education in Nigeria.

Most men longing to get married do not really understand what being a husband and father means. They fantasize all day about how lovely it would be in THE OTHER ROOM. As a matter of fact, most of the singles forums out there are merely touching on the surface. They have not taken a walk to the super-market to ask for the price of diapers, baby foods, ice-cream, school fees etc. Aside school fees, you need to plan for birthday gifts for ALL the classmates of your kid; it is now a matter of competition of who gives the most expensive birthday gifts in classy schools. The emotional commitment (and sometimes emotional torture), the sleepless night caused by a crying infant and the burden of raising another human being are all realities that come with the package.

Unmarried women on the other hand cannot wait to get their own man, have their home and carry their babies. That is a very legitimate desire. The problem lies in failing to understand the real meaning of being a wife and mother. It is not a mere status change. Carrying a baby in the womb for months is a serious reality. Delivery either by CS or natural is not a movie. It is a serious medical condition. Supporting the husband financially or otherwise is a huge responsibility. From the outside, it is difficult to understand the enormous self-sacrifice that goes into making marriage work even for a year.

Recently, I read a post from someone talking about the realities of those living abroad. I checked the comment section to see how Nigerians would react. The vast majority just kept asking the writer to come back home before they would believe. It is the same answer you will get when a rich man tells a poor man that money does not really create lasting happiness. The poor cannot understand. They see such statement as scam. Desires could be intoxicating and could blind-fold the bearer.

The median individual annual income of Canadian is about CAD 38,000 (roughly NGN 13 million). 40% of Canadians have homes that are on mortgage and two-third of Canadians use loans to finance their cars. In 2019, the average net savings per household in Canada is CAD 2,482 (roughly NGN 820,000). From a documentary, the number 1 reason why most elderly citizens in USA get scammed by cyber criminals is because of LONELINESS. They desperately want to believe all the romantic gestures from their faceless lovers who simply want to milk them dry. Fentanyl overdose has become the leading cause of death for US adults age 18 to 45 with over 100,000 deaths in ONE year. To put this into perspective, if you add up all the deaths caused by Boko Haram between 2011 and 2021, you will get almost 60,000 deaths. Just do the comparison.

Life is full of choices. Your choice is your cup-of-tea. But if you want to make better decisions, listen to those who have taken that road you want to take. Listen to the good and ugly sides of the story. Their experience will either make you change your mind or help you arm yourself with the right tools to deal with the challenge ahead. It is better to expect and plan for a challenge than to pray it away. There are challenges that goth-not-out except by planning and dealing with them. An example is paying for school fees as parents. Another round of school fees is around the corner. Best of luck to all parents with kids in schools!

#LookBeforeYouLeap


https://www.facebook.com/johnemmanueldickson

Thanks so much op. Truth is everything in life comes with its own challenges. One can not say cos many graduates are unemployed, he will not be a graduate. Many marriages failed, he will not get married. I believe the best way around it is to be prepared. Work hard. Learn from others. Prayers. Planning

Impressive

Nice one op.

Very insightful write up